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MERRY CHRISTMAS. 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, Legal Version

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain 

improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of 

stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse. 

 A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and 

around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ 

St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime 

thereafter. 

 The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were 

located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, 

i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited 

to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in 

said dreams. 

 Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as 

"I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the 

second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained 

period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of 

headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.) 

 Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the 

unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the lawn, a 

certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of 

the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the 

cause of such disturbance. 

 At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of 

wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the "Vehicle") being 

pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) 

reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the 

previously referenced Claus. 

 Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the 

approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal 

co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder 

and Blitzen (hereinafter the "Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is 

further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may have been 

involved.) 

 The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer 

intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences 

located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle 

was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or 

nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or 

implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the 

chimney. 

 Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue 

from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the 

aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what 

appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances 

and health regulations. 

 Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor 

children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. 

(Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the 

applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus 

touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of 

the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as 

"lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination. 

 However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, 

the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry 

Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.

 MERRY CHRISTMAS

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Cause my hands will be busy with you!

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Educate yourself. When a question about a certain topic pops up, Google it. Watch movies and documentaries. When something sparks your interest, read about it. Read read read. Study, learn, stimulate your brain. Don’t just rely on the school system, educate that beautiful mind of yours.

Travel-As-A-Happy-Hippie (via sarah-vs-studying)

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Psychology Daily - Quotes

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Texas women ... Yeah! 🤠

You just run on ahead of me… I’ll be right behind you.

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Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker