proud-and-prejudiced1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Leonard Cohen

I want to preface this by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed both documentaries. Both are very different, allowing us to observe Leonard Cohen at various moments in his life. Besides the apparent difference in documentary styles from the 1960s to today, each documentary has managed to portray Cohen in its own way.

It feels as though Ladies and Gentlemen... Mr. Leonard Cohen (1965) showcased more of Cohen's public personality. The moments in which Cohen is shown as vulnerable or in an intimate setting (such as in his hotel room) feel staged. It focuses on his career and his life as a talented writer and artist more so than it does on his actual person. It does offer a few glimpses here and there of his life, walking the streets and going about. This is a curated version of who Leonard Cohen is, as seen through the lens of a documentary camera. It is as though he is kept in performance, on stage, singing, reading, talking. Of course, then, he was an up-and-coming artist, fresh on the world's scene. He was already seen as an incredibly talented man, but he had not yet achieved the level of recognition and admiration he has today. However, the other documentary featured seemingly organic moments, mostly captured in private. Marianne & Leonard: Words of Love (2019) feels anecdotal and reflective. It is a collection of personal stories focused on their collective and individual growth. It feels as though there is more attention to how they were in their life together, away from the public's eye. I felt that this documentary managed to shine a much more intimate light on Cohen's life.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

McCord Museum

For this exercise I chose both the sixth and ninth elements of the list. Earlier this year, I chose to integrate books from BIPOC writers to my regular book rotation. Most of the indigenous writers I have bought books from in the past few months have been local (or at least Canadian). I try to maintain a proportion of at least 20% of my (personal) readings, which has helped to expand both my worldview and my book collection. Through this process, I have discovered several authors that I thoroughly enjoy, such as Waubgeshig Rice (I absolutely recommend The Moon of the Crusted Snow and Midnight Sweatlodge, some of my favourites this year) and Michel Jean (who is the author of Kukum). These books give us a glimpse of a different yet fascinating culture, without the bias that white authors usually have.

The reason I chose both the sixth and ninth elements of the list given by the McCord Museum is that to me, these two go together. Every time I read something new, I tell my friends, share the name of the author, leave a good review online, etc. I try to introduce them to the idea of changing things up in their reading habits. I lend books to those who ask and try to learn as much as I can on their writers.

As for the museum, I stayed and walked through the exhibition a second time after class ended. My friend and I were able to discuss over each item individually instead of briefly overseeing them. Taking the time to observe, learn, read, and share our feelings and thoughts with each other allowed for an even greater appreciation of the work that has been done (at the museum, we've still got ways to go reparations wise). I think that this what matters most at the end of the day. Getting educated, being open to learning, being open to being wrong, and doing your part so that someday we can have a true reconciliation.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

BEANS, Tracey Deer

Directed by Mohawk-Canadian filmmaker Tracey Deer, BEANS(2020) explores the 1990 Oka Crisis at Kanesatake through the eyes of Tekehentahkhwa (nicknamed "Beans"), a 12 year old Mohawk girl. The movie offers a deeply intimate and personal approach to the conflict between non-Natives and the Mohawk community. The events are shown in a way that is honest and real, highlighting the struggles and hatred that the community had to endure. Even though most people in Quebec are aware of the Oka Crisis up to a certain extent, we (as a country, a province, a government, a culture) have a tendency to sweep these types of events under the rug, hiding the ugly truth in order to preserve our image. The movie doesn't shy away from showing the truth, instead it fully embraces the reality of racism and violence the Mohawk community survived through.

I think the scene in the movie that stood out the most to me was the one in the car, as Beans, her mother, and her sister, are driving out of the reserve. It is definitely one of the more brutal scenes in the movie. There is a real sense of fear and panic as they're driving through a sea of people, most of them throwing rocks at the passing cars. The camera moves from one face to the other, alternating between the crying women and children, and the angry mob. The policemen are standing there, doing absolutely nothing, and it is the most infuriating thing. This is a scene that makes you angry. It is full of emotion, pain, fear, and anger. The violence pictured is not faceless or anonymous or distant, like it usually is. It confronts you directly, leaves no space for doubt of excuses. There is a right and a wrong and this scene makes you aware of it (if you weren't already from watching the rest of the film).

I think this is why this scene has stood out so much to me. It is challenging to watch but it is necessary in order to understand what happened to the Mohawk people. It was not just a small fight over a golf-course. It is a shameful moment in our province's history and it should be remembered as such.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Study somewhere you don’t usually work for at least 60 minutes

During finals week I got hit with one of the worst writer's block I've had in a long time. I decided to get out of my room (maybe the change of setting would help me get new ideas) and headed to class with all my studying necessities. After class, I decided to head to the school's library. Even though this is my fourth semester attending UdeM, I had never been at the library to study. I had gone a few times for mandatory classes but hadn't returned since. I decided to sit in a corner of the third floor that didn't seem too busy, thinking it would be nice and quiet (perfect to get some work done).

Although it was a nice change of scenery, I ended up sitting in an area where the wind hit the building with such force, such tenacity, that I could hear it over my noise cancelling headphones. I put music on and tried to focus on my work instead. Ten minutes hadn't gone by when a woman sat right beside me (even though there were many open spots, including the two on the opposite side of our table). She took out a granola bar and proceeded it to eat it, leaving crumbs all over our now shared space. At this point, I was thinking that coming to the library was a mistake (who in their right mind eats a granola bar in a library?). Every little aspect of my surroundings was a distraction, a new stimulus that seemed far more interesting than my about-to-be-late essay.

It took a lot of mental energy, but I did manage to write a few pages worth of content. Still, the hours spent at the library made me realize that perhaps it is not for me. I prefer a space that is predictable and comfortable in order to focus properly.

This is not to say that I will not attempt to study in the library (or anywhere else) ever again. I do think that there is a benefit to getting out of your comfort zone and into a different space to work. I simply seem to work better in a space that is familiar and known.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Meditate for at least 5 minutes, and then study/do coursework for another 30 minutes minimum

I oftentimes struggle to keep focus on a task, especially when it is something I consider uninteresting. It isn't always the case but sometimes finishing a lecture or a text seems impossible to do. It is as though no matter how much time I spend trying to work, nothing seems to be productive. I decided to try and meditate for a few minutes in order to refocus myself on the task at hand. It isn't a new concept to me, but it is something I forget I can do. I find that it helps kind of distance myself from work for a few minutes. I am a smoker, so I do tend to take regular breaks which have a similar effect (in my opinion).

I sat down in my usual chair and made myself comfortable. I put on my headphones, which I rarely do when I work at home, and started a playlist. I don't love guided meditation. I find that it takes away from my ability to focus on my breathing and my body. I usually try to find a specific album to which I can meditate and think, which is what I did.

It was nice to be able to take a few minutes to focus on my breathing and not much else. Trying to keep wandering thoughts on track, to bring myself back in my body.

I do think that it helps with general focus afterwards. I felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My head was clear and focused, my body aware but not tense. It overall seemed like a positive experience and a good addition to a healthy study routine.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Do a physical activity for 30min followed by 30min of studying

I had had a particularly long day (I usually start work at 6am) and needed to work on a few essays for various classes. Upon sitting down, I realized that my head and body were both still very much tense and stressed and that focusing would be a hard task. I decided to walk away from my usual study spot and fish out my yoga mat from the back of my closet (where it had admittedly spent too much time collecting dust) and set it on the floor for what I thought would be a quick stretch. I ended up spending about 30mins doing an old yoga/stretching routine I used to do in Cégep.

I used to do it almost every day. And then somewhere along the line I stopped. Doing this exercice reminded me of habits I used to have and lost, of time I used to take for myself. Yoga forces you to inhabit your body and slow down for a while. It made me aware of the aches I have learned to ignore. Of how tired I was. Of how much I desperately needed to book an appointment with a chiropractor because my right shoulder was absolutely wrecked (still is). Acknowledging those tensions and pains and taking a moment to sit with them felt meditative. It's not comfortable but it allows for self-awareness. It is taking the time to realize and acknowledge that I need to take better care of myself.

With the last five minutes of my time, I simply laid on my back and redirected my thoughts and energy towards the work I had to do. I planned my evening and established a timeframe of the tasks I needed to take care of. When I felt ready, I got up, grabbed a glass of water, and sat down for what would be a very successful study session (it went on for well over two hours).

I have since tried to implement regular yoga and stretching to my routine again. I have yet to succeed in taking the time to do so regularly.

I am aware that this isn't exactly the before and after observation I am supposed to write, but this recounting seemed more accurate of how I felt while doing the exercise

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Careers in English

I am someone who plans a lot. I love knowing what my next step will be, constantly projecting myself in a near future (perhaps to the detriment of my relationship with the present). Literary studies have been no different. I applied to the program with an end-goal in mind, a vision for who I could be and how to achieve my objective. Of course, those plans can always change. I try to give myself space for error and readjustment, so that I am always able to change my mind if at one point I realize that publishing isn't for me. In the mean time however, I have devised a rather straight-forward plan in order to get me to where I'd like to be.

The first step to achieve that goal was to go back to university, specifically in a literary program. I chose English because I find that I have a stronger affinity with the language itself, as well as a deeper appreciation and interest for its literature. I'm currently doing a major, which allows me the space and possibility to explore another program if I wish to do so, or change my path to a full English BA.

Once I get my bachelor's degree, I plan on applying at the Université de Sherbrooke (the Longueuil campus). They offer a DESS in Édition, which covers all of the various aspects of publishing, from the actual editing of texts to the marketing of books and other works. I'll need two letters of recommendation, both of which I plan on acquiring from professors at a later date. Considering that this is only my second semester, I do not consider my current skill-set as representative of what it will be in a few year's time and thus plan on waiting a bit longer before getting my referrals.

This program will allow me to get a hands-on experience in the field with various publishing houses throughout Quebec. It will help me to further develop my individual and personal skill-set as well as make connections with people who work in the field. I would love to work for a children's publishing company in either marketing or the creation of the "book-object" (aka the making of a physical copy of a book).

For now, I simply plan on honing my writing skills, one class at a time, one day after the other.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Cyclorama

I absolutely adored the experience that was Cyclorama. It was a surprisingly self-aware and meta approach to theatre, unlike anything I had experienced before. The lack of elaborate costumes, the natural and intuitive approach to dialogue, as well as the inclusion of actual historical references gave a "non-scripted" feel to the play. It was as though we were watching a presentation on the actor's individual relationships to language and theatre rather than a performance. The way English and French intertwine during the play is probably what struck me the most. As someone who is bilingual and lives in Montreal, the relationship between both languages felt genuine, a true representation of how many of us talk and interact with each other. Laurence Dauphinais managed to capture the flow and alternance with which most of us speak both languages, each one used as an extension of the other. The variation of language was aided by subtitles projected on a screen above the stage. I thought that this was a brilliant way to aid in comprehension, making the play more accessible to all even if they did not speak one of the presented languages. I also thought that the change in scenery was quite interesting. Instead of simply explaining and showing the differences between both theatres, we got to experience them both through Dauphinais' lens. It helped to further highlight the differences and similarities between both Montreal cultures, whilst also showing how they are able to work together in order to create something amazingly unique.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Lorena Gale, Angelique

I chose to read scene four (from the first act) out loud. This section of the play relies on repetition of words and sounds. Hearing and saying it out loud made me even more aware of the emotions behind Angélique's monologue. There is hope to the rhythm of her words, as if she was singing an incantation for better days. The act of actually reading those out-loud brought them to life in a way that reading cannot do.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Foxfinder

Foxfinder surprised me. I walked in expecting a "classic" theatre, where the audience is far removed from the stage and the story feels distant. I had read the play prior to going but had pictured a fixed set with a kitchen table and a door, something to indicate the setting in which the story was happening. Instead, I found myself staring at a tiny black box theatre with no visible furniture. Empty. Or so I thought, until the play started. The pieces started revealing themselves and surprised me by the precision with which they moved to create a unique and cohesive experience. Everything felt calculated -every moment, every accessory, every transition. The play felt insightful and gave so much more than what I could've imagined from reading the script.

I think that the limitations of the set made the play that much more modern and current. The minimalism did not hinder the experience, it put the focus on the actors and their interactions. The way they reused the same four pieces of furniture made the scenes flow into each other and gave a sense of continuity to the play. I also really enjoyed the background. At first it looked like rectangles of what I assume would be a plexiglass type of glass, tinted in different colours. As the play progressed, I noticed that each of these squares contained different elements that tied into the story itself. Wood flooring, a bucket of clothes, a metal fence with wool, dead rabbits. I loved the way different squares lit up in accordance with the part of the story that was being played. I thought it was a very smart way to keep a minimalist decor interesting.

I also found this video on Youtube about the process of making the play, which I watched after having seen the play itself. It offers great insight into the directorial process that went into the play, as well as the individual interpretations of the actors on stage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTVC1w1mzp4

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Rito Joseph: Black Montreal Experiences Tour

Although the temperature wasn't ideal, I had an amazing time whilst on the walking tour. Our guide was not only very knowledgeable but also kind and passionate, which are all important things when discussing such a sensitive subject.

I thought that the walking tour was a great way to highlight the history of slaves in Québec and more specifically Montréal. Even though most of us are familiar with basic information on the foundation of the city, I do believe that a lot of critical details are willingly ignored or hidden away. Slavery in Québec and Canada is still very much debated and denied to this day. It is not taught in schools (or if so, it is only briefly mentioned) and that knowledge is most definitely lacking.

Rito Joseph's tour allows to be immersed in those bits of history. We aren't learning facts from a textbook but standing where these people stood hundreds of years ago. It makes the experience more real, connects it to things that we too can feel, and makes these people's suffering tangible. His tour shines a new light on monuments and statues that are known. It uncovers the shameful truth of Montréal’s history, without attempting to justify the validity of values of the past, which I find happens a lot with the colonizer perspective. It is because of people like him that we can learn information that would not be given otherwise. I am truly grateful to have been able to do this tour, for it is information that should be known and shared. Understanding where we came from and the suffering on which this city was built is important, no matter how uncomfortable the truth may be.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Talk to a person who has a degree in English and an interesting job

I am lucky enough to have someone in my life that has had a similar journey to what I plan on doing. How we're related is complicated, so I'll just refer to her as my cousin, for simplicity's sake.

We met again, for the first time in about a decade, at my great-grand-father's funeral. I had just applied to university, whilst she had just settled down with her husband and child in our hometown, after years in Montreal. After a few minutes of small talk, she inquired about my life and ambitions. I told her I had plans of going in English studies and then perhaps get a certificate in editing/publishing afterwards. I noticed her eyes lighting up the second I mentioned my intentions. Excitedly, she confessed that she had had almost the exact same path: After getting an English studies degree in Montreal, she went on to obtain an editing/publishing certificate in Longueuil. She moved back to our hometown after obtaining her degree. She and her partner are now co-editors for a non-profit cooperative poetry/zine/short-story publishing house. She also teaches English literature at a local college and university, as well as francization classes at the local adult education school.

It was reassuring to know that it was possible to find a fulfilling way to work in editing or publishing, even outside of the big city. Even though her list of responsibilities feels long and quite demanding, it is very interesting to me to see someone find a career like that, especially someone whom I've known and idolized since I was a child. It was fascinating to me that through life keeping us apart for the better part of our formative years, we had crossed paths again, for I was following closely behind her step.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Marguerite: le pierre

I hesitated a long time about which subject to choose for this week's blog. Although I did enjoy the Kusama exposition, there was just something about the Soundwalk that I really appreciated. I want to start by prefacing that I did not do the Soundwalk by myself, I was with a class colleague, which definitely changes the experience. I don't think that it necessarily takes away from it but you do lose the intimacy between you and the storyteller. It is perhaps a bit less immersive and instead makes for a social and communal experience. She and I shared the moment, matching our audios so we could live the story at the same time.

It took us a few minutes I think to fully understand the rhythm at which we were being guided through the streets. The pace was slower than what I was expecting but it somehow made sense with the story being told. I think we have a certain sense of urgency when speaking of slavery and other major human mistakes. We tend to sweep this type of "delicate" subject under the rug. I think of the mother shushing the child asking too many questions, picking up the pace and avoiding eye-contact with the homeless man in front of the grocery store, cutting any uncomfortable subject short. This Soundwalk forced us to take our time, to sit with the words, the sounds, the view. As mentioned in the audio, things were very different back then and although I did enjoy sitting down on the steps and taking a minute to try and imagine how it could have been some centuries ago, the Soundwalk kept us aware of the realities then. It prevented the romanticization of those earlier times and highlights the crimes which we Canadians and Quebecers have tried burying under the rug for ages. I do think that the plaque exemplifies that shame and discomfort that we all feel when discussing slavery. The plaque was situated completely at the end of an alley, in between a few garbage bags and a famished seagull. It felt small. Insignificant. A mere mention where so much more acknowledgements should be given. It felt insulting to have reduced this woman's experience to a simple metal plaque and yet there it was, exactly where you'd want to hide it. Even worse knowing that this plaque is already more acknowledgment than what most slaves have gotten in the past. The people walking on the main street would never know that it even existed but if anyone asks, you couldn't deny its existence.

The Soundwalk keeps that story alive and promises to not let us forget the bloodshed that made our history what it is today. It gives Marguerite Duplessis and Marie-Joseph Angélique a voice, centuries after their death. It keeps us from sweeping another terrible thing under the rug and acknowledges the suffering caused by our people in the past.

#ang1100

[proud-and-prejudiced1100]

Why study literature?

I was a kid who read a lot. Strangely enough, I never really considered going into literature until a few years ago, after a conversation with a friend: It was June 2019. After a month long trip in Vietnam with schoolmates and friends, we stopped in Ha Long Bay for a few days to celebrate the end of our Cégep years. We had just completed our research there and sent out the final copies of our final essays to our teachers and had spent the day exploring the island and floating in the water.

Whilst my friends thought of university and their future, I had, unbeknownst to most of them, dropped out of half of my remaining classes, keeping only the ones in relation to the stage. I was not going to graduate. Or at least not that year, not with them.

All of the plans I had fixed, all of the ideas I had about my future: gone. I was lost, burnt out, depressed, and completely overwhelmed by life.

As I was swimming in the water with a friend of mine, I admitted to my doubts regarding the upcoming years. I was supposed to be a doctor, a historian, a theologist -something. Now I had no perspective of what to do next besides survival, no plans for my future, no degree to fall back onto. I was disappointed in myself and did not see myself is any of those careers anymore.

She, on the other hand, was set. She had been accepted to law school after having graduated with honours at the top of our class and was scheduled to start studying in the fall. She was one of the first to know that I would not be graduating. Admitting to it felt shameful at first. I had always performed well in school but suddenly, natural skill was insufficient. She never judged me for it. None of them did.

I remember how, after about a minute of silence, she told me that she had always pictured me in editing or publishing. That stuck with me. It felt as if, for the first time in a long time, someone had seen me. Someone had seen beyond the projected image of myself, beyond my natural capacities. I no longer felt like a kid with wasted potential. That conversation had ignited a spark of interest, had made me take a step back and consider new opportunities.

--

Fast forward to about a year later. I had changed cities, had worked full time for a few months until Covid hit, had taken the time to exist outside the image I had of myself as a student. I had stopped drinking, had made new friends and had learned a bunch more about myself. I was finally at a point where I reconsidered post-secondary studies.

And eventually, I did. The first thing I did was research how to be an Editor. I found a class on bookbinding. I wanted to do that. From then on, it was a pretty straightforward plan to get there, a matter of drawing a path from point A to point B.

--

Funnily enough, I had no idea whether or not I would actually like the program. I have a tendency to aim for an end-result and figure out the way to get there as time goes on, instead of the opposite. I would love to be able to say that I chose literature simply because I love books, but that would be lying. I do, obviously, but this conversation is the true reason behind my being here. It was actually being in the program that rekindled my love and appreciation for reading and literature. It was sitting in class and feeling, for the first time in years, genuine interest, that made me excited for what is to come.

#ang1100