prigorie

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'just ask them out, the worst they could say is no' WRONG the worst they could say is that's why i left you behind. it's not easy even just looking at you, jack, because you're wrong. you are. i can't help it. i'm a time lord. it's instinct. it's in my guts. you're a fixed point in time and space. you're a fact. that's never meant to happen, even the tardis reacted against you, tried to shake you off. flew all the way to the end of the universe just to get rid of you.

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Take a break, this cute tardigrade needs time to cross your dash:

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#bakugan

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I think the funniest example of technically-not-a-furry I've ever personally encountered is a person who'd firmly insist "I'm not a furry because furries have fursonas, and I don't have a fursona. I just pay furries to draw pictures of me having sex with their fursonas, which is completely different."

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i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

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i'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, but sometimes i hear women talking about their diets and it takes all i have to not be like "this is not normal. you have an eating disorder and you are in a cult."

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New discourse: it's actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you'll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!

also if you're a Sag and you're dating a Taurus, that means you're secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!

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“Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.”

— Daniel M. Lavery, How To Respond To Criticism (via boringoldraphael)

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Well you see minors under 25 years old should not be allowed to get gender reassignment surgery because what if they go to the clinic but instead of giving them a normal penis the nurses mess up and give them the evil penis. That's irreversible

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i should have fucking picked chemistry

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children existing in public spaces is genuinely like. necessary for the continuation of society. it doesnt have to be your kids you dont have to volunteer at a daycare or whatever but you need to be able to tolerate the presence of someone who is learning how to exist as a human and interact with people

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"There is something... and I think I can take it from you."

The Green Knight (2021)