poetrypage-for-anewage

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When the moon gifts me light through the window Ribbons of her love from between folds in the curtains I wonder if you are being blessed with the same I wonder if she kisses your skin in the way I cannot I wonder if I will ever be bestowed with the gift of being under the same moonlight with you

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Shattered

I’m cracking open parts of myself that have lived so far down inside of me they’ve been invisible.

And it’s terrifying, I feel a body on fire with rage.

I feel tears that should have been shed years ago.

I feel shaking and screaming with words unsaid.

I feel like I exist shattered between who I was then and who I am now.

I feel like I want to save myself but I’ve ignored myself for so long, she doesn’t even want my help anymore.

Healing is hell, but so is the exhaustion of pushing everything down.

At least I know with healing, the exhaustion eventually ends.

- WanderingWorlds

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I am chaos.

I am unhealed.

I am tearing at the seams.

I am not the person you’ve been seeing.

I am trapped under the mask that you seem to know so well.

I am untethered in a world that allowed me to be unprotected and alone.

I am drifting between who I could have been and who I am.

I am trying to rewrite my story to feel whole.

I am shattered in my soul.

I am unheard.

I am alone.

- WanderingWorlds

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If you told me when we met and I instantly fell for you that I’d have to wait six years for us to be together, my heart would have broken. But knowing what I learned in those six years, and the people I met, and the places I went, and the memories I made, and even the people that hurt me and the nights I spent crying on the floor, I realize now that I needed every single one of those days to be able to make it work with you. Because that girl six years ago knew what she wanted but didn’t know what she needed. You can’t end up with the person you’re supposed to be with until you’ve had that one soul crushing heartbreak, the most fun night of your life with people you’ll never see again, at least a dozen mornings filled with questions, multiple first dates you regret the moment you walk in, loves that turned into best friends, a life changing trip with your closest girlfriends, and those very important almost maybes that didn’t work out but still made you happy and taught you more about yourself than you wanted to know. Otherwise you’ll be missing out on some of the most important parts of life.

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Of course we change all the time and it’s inevitable and sometimes for the better. But sometimes we also change in bad ways. And it’s ok to admit that a family member betrayed you or a breakup destroyed you or you suffered an inconceivable loss and because of that your trust was destroyed and you wish you could go back to when you were innocent and had faith in people and love and were confident in your relationships and didn’t self sabotage or have commitment issues. And there’s no happy ending or life lesson to this post, just that it’s ok to change and not like the person you are now as much as a previous version of yourself. And next time you tell someone they’ve changed and you mean it as an insult you should be sensitive to the fact that maybe they don’t like who they’ve become either and it’s not their fault.

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The lungs and their air, it's neither of ours so why should you care. I know I witnessed some flashes of something, something special I know it was there. In the end we never captured it, I witnessed it but you don't remember all the moments, those looks you gave me while I had my fingers in your hair. Asleep on my chest, like the universe was at rest with you, and everything was exactly where it was supposed to be, and in that moment, you and me must've done something right, to be able to enjoy that moment while it was still there.

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Because my disappeared, when yours came to rest. I gave you my heart, my breath and my time. You gave me your worries, your fears and ignored mine.

In the end I had nothing but them, a reality created out of sadness, where you escaped more then you were awake.

I stayed in reality, to protect you so you could heal, it really wasn't a big deal. It was just kinda sad, the days you weren't here.

But on the ones where you came back, they were perfect, beautiful, and you were all there, and it was my heart we both shared.

But, because there were so many more, days when you were scarred, I gave you a little more each time, to show you I cared.

You ended up with all of me, and consequences to our actions? I was too in love to care.

So it became where you held everything, but you didn't understand that so you didn't know you should've cared.

See, you dropped all the perfect times, you would forget they were even there.

Because the times that they happened, it was only in those rare days days where the real you was really there.

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10 minutes

Mom Jeans

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But somehow I am the one that ends up alone. I gave you myself, and you dropped it Everytime you got home. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a pile of me at your house. Id come get it, but you made it a part of your home, while I was left outside alone.

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Heartbreak of the century

Neck deep

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I don't regret any of it, I feel like I did all I could.

Well maybe..now that I recall, I wasn't always the best of them all.

I did always tried to learn and to grow.

To become someone better, then I was the day before.

Something, somewhere, is meant for us all.

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I'm sure I tried, but I'm also sure we both knew. Which is why I acted how I acted, and and the same with you.

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I held it there, waiting, for you to care. But like some fireworks next to a wedding store, there's always something more enticing, for you next door.

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This Wild Life - How’d You Forget Us