pippa-fitz-amobi

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

my manager just asked me what my hobbies are outside of work and i cannot accurately describe how surreal it was. it was like being asked by the guy who locked you in the dungeon if you used to do anything fun before they locked you in the dungeon.

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

probably a huge reach but I do wonder if percy’s refusal to explain his plans to anyone was influenced by him telling bianca his plan and then her getting herself killed trying to execute it

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

I think the only way I can handle shortening the ttpd song titles is by trimming off some words (I can fix him, who's afraid, smallest man, chloe or sam... etc) because whenever I see the acronyms my brain malfunctions. waolom? mbobhft? cososom?? icfhnric?? icdiwabh? tsmwel??? those aren't songs they're keysmashes

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

"u said u were gonna grow up, then u were gonna come find me" but it's regulus talking to sirius when sirius disappears after graduating

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

You like my blog?? I bet you can’t even name 3 of my deep-rooted personal issues

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

Pregnancy runs in my family. Over half of my ancestors had it at some point.

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

The Rosier twins are the best at telling lies. Him and Pandora could have you doubting your entire existence if they wanted to. One time I think they halfway convinced Barty that Pandora was actually adopted, and it was only “halfway” because they were just joking and therefore not trying very hard to be convincing. Barty felt kind of dumb after that, though, because they look pretty much the exact the same even though they’re fraternal.

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

Barty may have been fucking insane but he was also a genius who scored 12 O’s for OWLS without breaking a sweat

#im the

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

Barty and James becoming besties after James and Reggie got together is an iconic thing to happen

especially at the point when really only the skittles know about the relationship, so noone has a clue that Barty and James are a duo

and then when they're seen helping each other with an injury half of Hogwarts loses their shit (because come on, Barty? and James?? being friends???)

the other half doesn't believe it until they see James dragging Barty away from a fight so he wouldn't get a detention and Barty actually letting him do so

meanwhile Sirius is having a stroke trying to figure out when the hell did James befriended Barty Crouch Jr. of all people

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

before the poll, a quick definition of terms:

"mutual" - you found this post from a mutual (on their blog or your dash) "following" - you found this post from someone you're following, but who isn't following you "random" - you found this by scrolling through someone's blog, who you don't follow. this includes people following you "For You" - you found this on the For You page "recommended" - you found this in a "Check out these blogs" popup, or a "recommended" post when looking at a different post "other" - you found this post some other way. comment how? "reblog ✅" - you're going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post "reblog ❌" - you're NOT going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post

with that out of the way:

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

Okay, Barty would pretend to be tough and flirt around with Evan when around others, but AS SOON as they are alone - he melts. He melts into a puddle in front of this man, he stumbles over his words and thoughts and Evan just stands there SMIRKING and then just says "shut up and kiss me, Crouch" and Barty would fucking WIMPER, he would be so pathetic, no one would ever even think he could be. And Evan loves it, and despite being all push-around with Barty, he cares so much and would most definitely show it with his actions and not words. He would say "go fuck yourself" and then pull Barty close and gently kiss him on the forehead while playing with his hair, because Evan is just as obsessed and pathetic with him, he's just better at hiding it, and the best thing is that Barty knows.

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

vampires have been drinking human blood for centuries they don't give a fuck about guys on eight different antidepressants. they were sucking on asbestos factory workers

[pippa-fitz-amobi]

make a girl smile today.

give her a sword.