pinkfadespirit

[pinkfadespirit]

I wanted to draw a quick sketch of Isabela and then my hand slipped

[pinkfadespirit]

Here's my @handers-time exchange gift for @goth-surana! I really loved your prompts. I kind of wanted to do all of them but this was what came out in the end! I hope you'll like it 💖

Pairing: Anders/Male Hawke Rating: M Words: 11,812 Tags/Warnings: Blood and Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Reaver Hawke, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self-Destructive Behaviour, Alcohol Abuse, Self-Hatred, Implied Sexual Content, Hopeful Ending Summary: After coming close to killing the mage girl, Ella, Anders is in a bad way, consumed by guilt and shame and beginning to spiral. Hawke attempts to help him through it, while dealing with some of his own insecurities.

#I'm so glad you liked it! 🥰🥰🥰

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. . .

My gift for @notomys-mordax-blog for the 2024 Handers Exchange (hosted by @handers-time - whom I thank for organising the event) 🌙

The "fancy evening but they are awkward" prompt captivated me - they are here just to shed feathers all over the place, really.

#aaaaah this is gorgeous!!! #i can't stop staring at it! #the colours and the textures and the absolutely soppy look on anders' face 😍😍😍 #looking at this makes me want to paint #the textures just look so satisfying #it's beautiful!

[pinkfadespirit]

[pinkfadespirit]

Here's my @handers-time exchange gift for @goth-surana! I really loved your prompts. I kind of wanted to do all of them but this was what came out in the end! I hope you'll like it 💖

Pairing: Anders/Male Hawke Rating: M Words: 11,812 Tags/Warnings: Blood and Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Reaver Hawke, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self-Destructive Behaviour, Alcohol Abuse, Self-Hatred, Implied Sexual Content, Hopeful Ending Summary: After coming close to killing the mage girl, Ella, Anders is in a bad way, consumed by guilt and shame and beginning to spiral. Hawke attempts to help him through it, while dealing with some of his own insecurities.

#handers exchange gift #m!handers #anders #male hawke #dragon age 2 #dragon age fanfic #anders x hawke

[pinkfadespirit]

the one bright light in kirkwall

[pinkfadespirit]

Take Me Back to Eden

Read on AO3

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Astarion/Rhea, Karlach/Rhea, Raphael/Rhea, Lae'zel/Shadowheart (minor)

Warnings: canon-typical violence, blood, memory loss, temporary character death, implied incest, grooming, trauma, pet death, past sexual abuse, last childhood abuse, implied rape

Summary: A revelation fractured the group once they entered Rivington and they are without their leader. A mysterious invitation lures them into the forest to face their doubts one by one and repair what has been broken

My entry for the @bg3bigbang event! I meant to post this on Friday but had a couple back to back issues in my personal life. I greatly enjoyed having an excuse to write more of Rhea and Astarion! Accompanying art was by the lovely @pinkfadespirit

[pinkfadespirit]

a quick WIP Wednesday, because it's almost midnight here 🌙

Thank you to the lovely @pinkfadespirit for the tag! 🦢

1. Something with someone featuring apricots in the background - hello @greypetrel, one day I'll be done 🫥💙 {also, if you want to share something in the future this could be a tag?}

2. SOOO... the other wip that I posted two months ago that was some kind of handers ghost AU? Yeah, now there is more stuff that goes with it, because what I truly needed was to creatively procrastinate some more.

Too tired to tag, but I encourage anyone to do it if they wish so 💅

#beautiful! #i love the lines colours and textures

[pinkfadespirit]

WIP Wednesday

I've been meaning to do one of these for a while since I've been writing a lot lately. I've been having so much fun with this Handers fake dating/sugar daddy AU I've been working on. This excerpt is a little bit smutty, or at least it's leading up to that.

When Hawke leaned in to kiss him, Anders almost met him halfway. He would have if not for the way Hawke’s hand slipped into his hair and gripped it tight, stopping him from moving any closer. Hawke didn’t quite close the distance. He stopped just shy of a kiss then pulled back. “I love the desperate look you get on your face when you want me to kiss you.” Anders hated him then. Hated his arrogance, the way he couldn’t even deny the effect Hawke had on him when his cock was already straining so hard against his jeans it was painful. Hawke hadn’t even touched him yet, except for the hand pulling his hair. Instead of giving him what he knew he wanted, Hawke let go, then grabbed Anders’ legs instead, swiftly repositioning him so that he was lying back on the sofa, in the perfect position for Hawke to climb over him. Anders reached out to him and grabbed his shirt, not knowing even as he did it, whether his intention was to push him away or drag him closer.

tagging: @goth-surana @thedastrash @salsedine @ringneckedpheasant @pyritefes2 @un-shit-yourself @pappykins @rusted-pipe-of-wisdom @lordnochybaty @spicywarl0ck @illusivesoul @sweetmage @hollyand-writes

No pressure if you don't have anything to share, or just don't want to. And feel free to let me know if you want on or off my tag list (this fic probably won't be everyone's cup of tea so I'll understand if you'd rather not be tagged in future excerpts). If anyone else wants to share something and say I tagged you then go for it. I'd love to see what you're up to!

#wip wednesday #handers

[pinkfadespirit]

some of my headcanons in drawn form

[pinkfadespirit]

Click for full res!👀

Spicy trans man Hawke I drew for a request 🥰✨️

Full Version Here (you need a Bluesky account, unfortunately!)

[pinkfadespirit]

My gift for @acesdesire for the 2024 Handers Exchange!

She wanted some Inquistion-era boys and I was more than happy to deliver. I had such a wonderful time drawing this <3 They deserve their happy ending!

@handers-time

#beautiful! #anders looks so good with a beard! #😍😍😍

[pinkfadespirit]

prompt is hmmm least normal conversation between your hawke and varric?

alternatively, putting hawke in their least favorite situations, parties or murder, whichever dreads them more?

TYY you read my mind with this, my hawke had SUCH a messed up relationship with varric. and to combine the prompts, skyhold is basically a saw trap for him. so here's varric and hawke having a terrible conversation about hawke and anders' relationship at herald's rest.

The swill they sold at Herald's Rest, Skyhold's only tavern, was unlike anything Hawke had ever tasted before. In his youth he might have been able to bear it - long nights at The Hanged Man emptying barrels upon barrels of the worst drink Kirkwall had to offer had once been his only hobby. But the past few years had softened him. He wanted warm mead, cheap wine, someone to bring him elfroot tea as he put his feet up.

Varric didn't seem to care. He took a large swig from his tankard as if it was nothing, smacking his lips loudly.

"Maker, that hit the spot." He groaned.

Hawke didn't know what to say in response. He stared around the tavern, observing the other people drinking. They seemed on edge, nervous. It reminded him of that last night at Ostagar, everyone more than aware of the fact that they could die tomorrow. Perhaps that was why he was the only one who wasn't drinking like a fish.

"Hawke?" Varric was saying, "you listening?"

Hawke turned his gaze to Varric, "I'm listening," he grunted, pushing his drink away from him.

"Come on. I know you didn't hear a damn word I said."

Varric was suddenly serious. He sat back in his chair, tilting his chin up and meeting Hawke's eye. In this light, he suddenly looked far older than the man Hawke knew; it was hard to believe it had been a decade since they'd first met. Those first few uncomplicated months before the Deep Roads expedition, before a thousand tiny invisible barriers had begun to worm their way between them, felt simultaneously like a lifetime ago and yesterday afternoon.

"Do we have a problem, Hawke?" Varric asked.

Hawke laughed sharply. "No."

It was unconvincing, Hawke knew that. He watched as Varric picked up his drink and took another steady gulp, eyeing him suspiciously over the rim of his tankard.

Then his eyes drifted down, fixing on Hawke's hand before widening. He swallowed, coughed, reddened, looking for all the world like an Orlesian nobleman who'd just been caught doing something exceptionally unfashionable.

Hawke looked down at his hand. It was the same as ever, scarred and rough, nails bitten short in a habit Anders had always found disgusting.

And, against his worn skin, a single sunbeam in a stormy sky: his ring, once worn by his father and now worn by him. It was one half of a pair. The other half, his mother's, was somewhere far away, on the finger of someone he missed very much.

Varric couldn't stop staring at it. He was no longer red. His face was white, his knuckles even whiter.

"Hawke," he said slowly, "tell me that isn't what I think it is."

If he was honest with himself, Hawke had been anticipating this conversation ever since he'd arrived in Skyhold. If anything, he was surprised it had taken so long for Varric to notice. His gaze had a habit of lingering on him for a moment too long, taking in details nobody else saw.

He twisted the ring around his finger, "it's nothing," he lied.

"Doesn't look like nothing."

Hawke took the ring off and placed it on the table. It wasn't anything fancy, a cheap metal band coated with a thin layer of gold. His mother's ring had a small red gem inlaid in it, so bright it could have been red lyrium, but his father had been spared the frivolity.

"Does this make me your wife?" Anders had joked as Hawke had slipped the ring on his thin finger.

Varric reached out and picked it up, rolling the band around in his palm with a sour expression.

"When was the wedding?" He asked.

"A few years ago."

"Right." Varric said, gritting his teeth, "sure."

Hawke said nothing in response. He held his hand out, waiting for him to give the ring back.

Either Varric didn't notice him, or he pretended not to. He continued to fiddle with it, warming the cool metal in his hands, "were you planning on telling me? Or did my invite get lost somewhere?"

His voice was hard as stone but Hawke was harder. "Nobody was invited," he said, "it was just us."

And Bethany. And The Hero of Ferelden. And a few friends. But Varric didn't need to know that.

"Still," Varric continued to toy with the ring, "you could've written. I would've sent a gift."

Hawke snorted, "a gift for a wedding you don't approve of? The Orlesians are rubbing off on you, Varric."

It was hard for Hawke to keep the irritation from his voice. His patience was wearing thin. He reached out and snatched the ring from Varric's hand, slipping it back on his finger where it belonged.

Neither of them spoke for a long time after that. Hawke let his mind wander, thinking about how he'd tell this story when he got home. Would it make Anders smile? Would Bethany chide him for being too cruel? Or would the three of them sit in silence afterwards, navigating the personal mazes they were more and more often finding themselves lost in.

Varric coughed lightly, "I don't disapprove." He said, so quiet that Hawke barely heard him.

"Pardon?"

"I said, I don't disapprove." He repeated, "of you and Blondie, that is."

He was lying. Hawke felt a fire begin to ignite in his chest, "I read your book," he said sharply, "everyone did. All of Thedas knows exactly what you think."

"It was a dramatised version of events. I've said it a thousand times, Hawke, I'm not a historian-"

"-I'm a storyteller," Hawke finished, mimicking Varric's rough voice, "right."

Another silence. Varric had finished his drink by now but continued to fiddle with the tankard, peering into it every now and then as if hoping more alcohol would materialise if he wanted it badly enough.

Hawke had been maybe a hundred pages into The Tale of the Champion when he'd realised Varric was in love with him. The realisation had come over him like a heart attack, finally hitting after years of creeping up on him. Part of him thought maybe he should have realised sooner. It had, in hindsight, been sickeningly obvious.

When he'd asked Anders for his opinion, he'd had the nerve to laugh. (This had been, of course, when he still knew how to laugh. If Hawke had known how few of Anders' laughs he'd have left, he might not have been so angry. But that's always the way.)

"I was wondering when you were going to figure it out," he'd said, doubling over, "Maker, Isabela and I even had a bet, once."

Did Varric himself even know? Hawke looked at him. He was still staring morosely at his empty drink, a few strands of hair falling in his eyes where they'd come loose from his ponytail. Surely if he knew he would have said something by now. He was never usually quiet about his feelings.

"Varric." Hawke said.

"What?"

"Do you..."

Potential hung in the air, a dagger at the end of his tongue. Hawke could ask his question if he wanted. He could do anything if he wanted; he could ruin everything, he could run all the way home and cower beneath his bed, he could tear his sword from his hilt and see how many Templars he could slaughter before someone cut him down.

But he did nothing. Just as he had done nothing every night since arriving as Skyhold. He continued to sit on the uncomfortable chair at the dirty table, continued to ignore his drink. Varric stared at him with his tired, worn expression. There was a look in his eyes that reminded Hawke shockingly of Anders on the day he'd blown up the Chantry. An acknowledgement of an unavoidable fact and an acceptance of it, the mutual knowledge that Hawke could do anything in that moment and he wouldn't resist.

Just as before, Hawke couldn't go through with it. He dropped the dagger.

"Do you want another drink?" He asked.

Varric avoided his gaze and shrugged. "I think I'm done for the night."

"Sure."

"I'm going to turn in."

He slipped out from the table and into the fray of the crowded tavern, dodging stray elbows and swinging knees. Hawke watched him leave, finished his drink, then took the same path out into the cool night.

#i enjoy this take on hawke and varrics relationship #so awkward #i love it

[pinkfadespirit]

Don’t mess with my mage boyfriend!

You can see a version of this colored by @awildxxxappeared over here!

Look at it large sized ;)

[pinkfadespirit]

just wanted to give my big gay green rock some hugs

[pinkfadespirit]

a stolen moment between the champion and his healer

My gift for @autumninfall for the Handers Gift Exchange 2024 hosted by @handers-time!

#i love this!! 😍

[pinkfadespirit]

Some morning cuddles 🥺💖

#ohhh this is lovely!