pink-elefantz

[pink-elefantz]

Sharing a little thing from a ramble at my friend group chat because it does relate to some dissociative shit but like

"Im sorry (not) Bleach is crack to me and my bestie has been supporting it actively because of the energy and brain power and creativity and shit it gives me and everyone just gives me a thumbs up to open up a nearly decade long repressed pandoras box of obsession and honestly a lot of contextual memories and skills and shit

Unironically this is arguably one of the largest / overwhelming waves of Shit Unrepressed Ive dealt with in my whole unpacking dissociation journey albeit this one is exclusively a "positive overwhelming""

Cause honestly like, genuinely I have done a lot of unpacking, finding things out, recalling things I thought were gone forever - both good and bad - in my recovery and path to the basically fully integrated state I am right now

And I think this is one of the most apparent moments in that whole time that I realized just how many tangential things are repressed and lost when targeting to repress one thing cause like

I really wasnt expecting it, but since I embraced and fully welcomed by obsession with Bleach back home, a lot of my young teen passions and hobbies and vision came back with it - especially in terms of fantasy combat because I had ENTIRELY forgotten that fantasy combat systems and mechanics were my favorite part of writing and creative writing for YEARS and I had entirely grown to dislike writing and thinking about combat and mechanisms for the past like 6+ years.

And Im just

Repression of one targetted thing really makes it hard to fully experience things tangentially related as you tend to have to repress the tangentially related things to prevent recall of The Actual Target Thing

And its both tragic and astonishing to see - the amount of myself I have been cut off from in favor of repression as a means of self control

Its beautiful though and I dont really grieve it because its still here and its always been waiting here for me to be ready to reclaim it and welcome it home. And to see so much of myself come home, to be with me and accessible to me... its beautiful honestly

[pink-elefantz]

the person reading this is going to survive the rough patch they’re going through

[pink-elefantz]

Fuck a personality test. Which label sticker r u?

#keep away from other animals + bedtime

[pink-elefantz]

scientists have created the first ant with bpd

[pink-elefantz]

Unironicly as an autistic person Forrest Gump is better rep than The Good Doctor. Forrest, who is not a savant but still is depicted as a valuable individual who positively impacts the lives of those around him. Forrest, who is blind towards half of the nuance governing the lives of those around him (racial issues, sexual assault, gender etc.) but not insensitive, and defaults to polite confusion as opposed to frustrated interrogation. Idk where I was going with this but here it is

[pink-elefantz]

#man holding own hand dot jpg #ocd memes #trauma memes

[pink-elefantz]

i highly reccomend replacing "im going to kill myself" with the phrase "fuck my stupid baka life." infinitely more dramatic and way funnier. fuck my stupid baka life bro

[pink-elefantz]

“ euphemism “

man i love mismatching stuff

#oh this rules #art #csa

[pink-elefantz]

[pink-elefantz]

Fragments

#23

[pink-elefantz]

Collage I made about splitting alters in childhood

#love this #the one outside the house. yeah

[pink-elefantz]

X

Grace

#dad #art

[pink-elefantz]

#💙 #csa

[pink-elefantz]

you’ve got the mark of the beast

[pink-elefantz]

[pink-elefantz]

[pink-elefantz]

never