phoenixshards

[phoenixshards]

got the cutest hair accessories from @cinderella-gurei today. 🥹

#.ooc #zips plays ffxiv #cinderella-gurei #thank you so much for hanging out today #and for listening to all my ramblings about emet selch #and for still cheering for me when I died four times during the same trial #you are the best. I cherish you.

[phoenixshards]

they were on a date together. not really, Elwin only showed him his room.

@phoenix-flamed

#phoenix-flamed #.ooc #zips plays ffxiv

[phoenixshards]

@creatrix-mea asked: [ TOUCH ] ( okay but ana touching the scar on his chest? ;-; )

“I really don’t need this right now!”, Joshua snapped at Tarja when she kept her hands on his shoulders to keep him down on the bed he currently occupied in the infirmary. He usually was not one to snap quickly, but this had been going on for days now. Yes, he knew it was important to take his medicine, but the physician also had to understand that there were more pressing matters to attend to. Matters only he could take care of. Matters that were called: Anabella Lesage Rosfield.

“I am sorry”, the Dominant quickly added, not only because he was well mannered and hated to be rude, but also because Tarja simply tried to help him take care of himself, she didn’t deserve for him to snap at her like that. “It is just a difficult time. Please give me the bottle of ointments, I promise to use it as soon as I have looked after my mother.”

Joshua had insisted to take Anabella to the hideaway with them, even when his brother initially wanted to deny his request, but the younger brother had refused to return with Clive should he actually want to leave their mother behind. And now here they were. Tarja had been kind enough to look after Anabella as well, after a bit of persuasion, but afterwards there had been the question what to do with the former Empress. And while they still haven’t really found an answer for that question Clive had insisted to lock the woman away, he did not want her to run around and endanger herself or anyone else.

And now it was Joshua who regularly looked after Anabella, not only because no one else wanted to do it, but also because he still cared deeply for his mother, despite everything. He could have let her die, but it was love that drove him to save her life instead.

“Mother? I am coming in.”

Joshua unlocked the door and stepped inside, a small smile appearing on his lips as he looked at his mother sitting on the bed, the sun shining through the window and upon her face, the light turning her blond hair into silky gold.

“You look well today. Look what I brought!”

With a few steps Joshua walked over to her bed, proudly presenting her the two books he had borrowed from Harpocrates. There was not much she could do, locked away as she was, so Joshua often brought her books, but he wasn’t even sure if she read them, he did not know what else to do for her though. But as he sat down with her he felt a sharp pain in his chest and with a hiss he pressed his hand to it, trying to suppress the cough that was building up in his lungs.

But Anabella was his mother, she knew better than anyone what Joshua looked like when he tried to hide the pain he was in and soon he felt her soft hands on his own, guiding them away so she could take a better look at his chest. Joshua was breathing hard already, the pain almost unbearable, and the thin linen of his shirt barely bothered to hide the angry looking scar on his chest. It was purple and had a soft glow to it, it had to look as alien as it felt, and it got worse from day to day. Joshua didn’t shy away from his mother’s touch, her gentleness already providing him with a strange feeling of relief, but he felt bad to have her see him like this, she already had enough to worry about.

“Please, mother.. do not worry..”, he began, his voice gentle, but his hand slipped into the pocket of his breeches, fingers fidgeting with the small bottle Tarja had given him earlier.

#creatrix-mea #I love the mixture of fluff and angst #this was really fun. sorry it is a bit messy #I love them

[phoenixshards]

ACCEPTANCE, REUNION, FAREWELL

#.musings #I cried 3 times

[phoenixshards]

EXTENSIVE SCAR RELATED PROMPTS 

GENERAL 

[ TOUCH ]  for sender to trace one of receiver’s scars 

[ TOUCHED ]  for receiver to trace one of sender’s scars

[ DISCOVER ]  for sender to see receiver’s scars for the first time 

[ DISCOVERED ]  for receiver to see sender’s scars for the first time 

[ CARESS ]  for sender to kiss one of receiver’s scars 

[ CARESSED ]  for receiver to kiss one of sender’s scars

[ SHOW ]  for sender to purposefully reveal their scars for receiver to see 

[ SHOWN ]  for receiver to purposefully reveal their scars for sender to see 

SCENARIOS

[ MEND ]  for sender to treat receiver’s wound which leads to them having to remove an article of clothing resulting in revealing scars hidden beneath

[ MENDED ]  for receiver to treat sender’s wound which leads to them having to remove an article of clothing resulting in revealing scars hidden beneath

[ BLUNDER ]  for sender to walk in on receiver in a state of undress thus seeing their scars for the first time

[ BLUNDERED ]  for receiver to walk in on sender in a state of undress thus seeing their scars for the first time 

[ KISS ]  our muses are having sex for the first time which then reveals sender’s scars to receiver 

[ KISSED ]  our muses are having sex for the first time which then reveals receiver’s scars to sender 

[ BATHE ]  our muses take a shower together and sender looks over receiver’s scars 

[ BATHED ]  our muses take a shower together and receiver looks over sender’s scars. 

WORDS

❝  your scars are nothing to be ashamed of.  ❞

❝  why do you hide your scars?  ❞

❝  i see every mark as something to be proud of,  proof of all i survived.  ❞

❝  can i ask what happened here—  how did you get this one?  ❞

❝  sometimes i get these phantom pains i guess you could say.  little aches and i find them oddly comforting.  because my soul still hurts even if my body is healed.  ❞

❝  i wish i could get rid of my scars.  they’re just reminders of everything i want to forget.  ❞

❝  is it alright if i touch this scar?  ❞

❝  it’s okay—  you can touch it if you want.  doesn’t hurt anymore.  ❞

❝  please don’t touch it.  ❞

❝  you don’t have to tell me how you got it.  i just wanted to see.  ❞

❝  looks worse than it was.  ❞

❝  i want to kill every person responsible for leaving you scarred. ❞

❝  i made sure the people who left marks on me wouldn’t get the chance to do it again.  ❞

❝  woah—  what the hell happened there? ❞

❝  you don’t have to hide them around me.  the scars are just part of who you are.  and i like all of what i see.  ❞

❝  i don’t really like letting people see them.  ❞

❝  it’s okay—  honestly i forget they’re there most of the time.  ❞

#.meme

[phoenixshards]

“I’ve always liked the time before dawn because there’s no one around to remind me who I’m supposed to be, so it’s easier to remember who I am.”

— Brian Andreas (via qvotable)

#.musings

[phoenixshards]

100 INDULGENT TROPES

A collection of one hundred tropes of varying nature. Spiritual successor to my previous An Extremely Self-Indulgent Meme. Some of these pair well together and can easily be sent in various combinations. Some are also highly suggestive in nature. Engage appropriately.

one muse steps protectively in front of the other

one muse tends to the other’s injury

one muse is not acting like themselves and the other has to snap them out of it

one muse kisses the other during an argument

one muse pins the other to a wall

one muse kisses the other on their hand or wrist

one muse kisses the other on their neck or shoulder

one muse helps the other put on a necklace or tie

our muses aren’t supposed to be together but keep meeting anyway (on purpose or by accident)

our muses have a secret relationship

one muse takes a blow meant for the the other

one muse fights away enemies attacking the the other

one muse asks the other for their favor / a token before battle or a tourney

our muses share a night together believing it might be their last

our muses are in an arranged marriage / betrothal

our muses willingly marry for political reasons

our muses get married for love

our muses get married in a spur-of-the-moment decision

one muse has taken the other captive

our muses are in love but one thinks they aren’t good enough for the other

our muses are forced to ally for a common goal

our muses are enemies or former enemies but have started to fall for each other

our muses claim to hate each other but there is palpable tension between the two

our muses are trying to manipulate each other

one muse is trying to manipulate the other

our muses have feelings for each other but have conflicting loyalties

our muses are friends but have started to fall for each other

our muses are childhood friends that have been slowly falling for each other over the years

one muse has been in love with the other for a long time but is afraid their feelings are not reciprocated

one muse is in love with the other but they are in a relationship with or engaged to another person

our muses engage in a courtly romance

one muse is a knight in service to the the other’s family

one muse seeks comfort from a loveless marriage with the other, their lover

one muse traces the other’s scars

one muse kisses the other in a moment of heightened emotion

one muse confides in the other in a vulnerable moment

our muses are in love but circumstances prevent them from being together

our muses are exes who discover lingering feelings after reuniting

one muse confesses love to another after that person is injured

one muse confesses love to another because they believe they may die soon

our muses must share a bed

one muse lifts the other’s chin to look them in the eye

one muse places a hand at the back of the other’s neck to pull them extremely close

our muses have been hooking up, no strings attached

our muses have been hooking up, but one or both has developed deeper feelings

our muses are exes that hook up against their better judgement

one muse presumes the other is dead but is shocked when they show up alive again

one muse betrays their long held loyalties in order to save the other’s life from their own allies

our muses fake a relationship but have no actual interest in each other

our muses fake a relationship but start to genuinely fall for each other

one muse is known for their hard exterior and softens only in the other’s presence

one muse is the other’s weakness, something an enemy is trying to exploit

our muses are stuck somewhere together and must occupy their time

one muse has feelings for the other but has not acted on them due to their association with another character (a sibling / relative / ex / etc. ) or an organization

one muse is scared to act on feelings for the other due to poor experiences with love in the past

one muse is oblivious to the other’s feelings for them

one muse acts oblivious to the other’s feelings for them but really they are aware

one muse has unrequited feelings for the other

our muses are co-workers engaging in a hidden romance

one muse reveals one of their darkest secrets to the other

one muse comforts the other during an emotional breakdown

one muse calms the other from an intense rage

one muse’s family forbids them from seeing the other

our muses are in love but their friends / family do not support their relationship

one muse seeks redemption for past actions and comes to the other to atone

our muses regularly exchange letters

our muses move in together

our muses adopt a pet together

our muses have a child together

our muses adopt a child together

one muse discovers they are pregnant by accident

our muses have been set up by mutual friends

our muses have been set up by a matchmaker

our muses are in love with each other but are in denial

one muse is the other’s bodyguard / protector

one muse is royalty while the other is a commoner / rogue / societal outcast

one muse kisses the other for a bet

one muse relentlessly flirts with the other

our muses kiss for the first time ever

one muse wins a date with the other at an event

our muses dance together for the first time

one muse brushes their fingers through the other’s hair

one muse drunkenly confesses something to the other

our muses drunkenly hook up and wake up next to each other

our muses are roommates

our muses are partners in crime

one muse is a supernatural creature who falls for the other, who is a mortal

our muses are supernatural creatures from opposite clans or species that are historically hostile to each other

one muses is under a spell / in the middle of a monstrous transformation but somehow recognizes the other and refrains from harming them

our muses cuddle for warmth

our muses run away together

one muse wears piece of clothing or jewelry that belongs to the other

our muses bathe together

our muses cook together

our muses cuddle in bed

one muse serenades the other

one muse holds a weapon to the other as a threat

one muse physically lifts the other up

one muse protectively wraps an arm around the other

meet cute !

#.meme

[phoenixshards]

are you trying to make me cry? because in that case your mission was successful. This expression of love came so unexpected, I am completely overwhelmed? I remember you so fondly. You were my first ever follower on my old blog, you spent so much time teaching me the basics in ffxiv, you accompanied me so patiently while I was making my way through ARR. On top of that I simply cherish it how much you love Elwin and how much thought and creativity you pour into his portrayal, but most of all I cherish you, because you have never been anything but kind and loving to me. No matter how quiet we are, please know that I am always there to listen, no matter about what. I am always delighted to see you on my dash because I am so happy to see you have a good time. I love you <3

Gently holds @phoenixshards up like Simba

#phoenix-flamed #I am so happy I got to meet you. you are wonderful #.ooc

[phoenixshards]

plotted starter for @creatrix-mea

Joshua had known and hoped that he would see Anabella again one day, but he had wished that it would be under different and calmer circumstances. Now they stood in the ruins and rubble of Twinside, and while he finally, after eighteen long years, had the chance to reunite with his brother there was no time to celebrate. Yes, they had stopped Bahamut from rampaging and annihilating the city entirely, but there was so much grief and guilt the prince would have to deal with afterwards, Joshua had his doubts that Dion would be able to keep his promise to help him stop Ultima once he was conscious again. But that could wait. For now.

Now Joshua stared at the woman on the ground, she looked fragile and broken, and even though Joshua knew he should hate her, he knew he should just leave her here, he couldn’t, so he reached out his hand to her:

“Take my hand.”

But as she looked up at him she started to panic, slashing at him with her dagger, the blade cutting neatly through his glove and leaving a deep cut on his palm. Joshua pressed his other hand to the wound while dodging his mother’s attacks, all the while as she was screaming at him to stay away from her. What was happening? Did she not recognize him? Or did she recognize him and thought of him as a ghost from the past? He had to stop this. He reached out to her once more, trying to take the dagger from her, but instead she stepped back, holding the dagger to her own throat.

“Mother, don’t..”

The silence was almost unbearable. Clive was silent beneath him, not saying a word, not caring about the fate their mother would meet. And Joshua tried to stand as still as possible, knowing that every wrong move could encourage Anabella to hurt herself. Tears were streaming down her face as she finally looked at Joshua and when their eyes met it felt like time stood still. Those were still the eyes he remembered from when he was a boy. Those eyes that seemed to glisten with happiness whenever he was well, and those eyes that looked at him with utmost sadness whenever his illness caught up with him. Those eyes that now stared at him as if he was the most terrifying monster she had ever seen.

And then she slit her throne.

“No!”

Joshua rushed forward immediately when she collapsed, but there was already so much blood. He knew that after their battle with Bahamut he barely had any strength left, but he couldn’t just sit back and let her die. He couldn’t just leave her to her fate like she had left him back at Phoenix Gate. Joshua gently pressed his hands to her neck as he summoned the soothing flames of the Phoenix in an attempt to mend her wound enough to stop her from bleeding out. But he was already weakened and blood started to drop from his mouth as he used more and more magic, not wanting to give up on her.

“Please, mother.. don’t leave me..”

#creatrix-mea #I don't know if you remember us plotting this but I finally got to write it out #tw blood #tw suicide attempt

[phoenixshards]

don’t blame me, I’m crying too..

YOU DID THIS-

#gcldfanged #.ooc #had a blast watching the cutscenes with you these past few days #now I am sobbing over them again #I love them so much #you better not complain when I throw my endless ideas at you

[phoenixshards]

more or less plotted starter for @gcldfanged

Joshua stared at the open book before him, but despite him already reaching the sixteenth page, he couldn’t remember anything of what he apparently had read this evening. His mind just kept wandering somewhere else. The Phoenix sighed, then closed the book and leaned back in the chair, the desk before him was covered in books and notes he had hastily scribbled down, which he would later have to write down neatly and organized, but that could wait. But the desk he was currently occupying was not even his own. It was Jae’s and Joshua waited more or less patiently for his friend to return from his meeting with the elders of the Undying.

When the leaders of the Undying had told him about their plans to send Jae to Waloed and have him assassinate the Lord Commander there Joshua had argued to either let him accompany him or to not send Jae at all, it was way too dangerous to go alone. But the men would not listen to any of his reasoning, not even when he unfairly used the argument of him being the Phoenix, they simply said that this particular assassination was in the best interest of the Phoenix and that they would brief Jae on the mission and have him leave at sunset. And Joshua couldn’t do anything to stop it, especially because he knew his friend would most likely agree that taking out the Commander of Waloed’s army was a tactically clever move.

Joshua sighed. A part of him felt selfish for trying to keep Jae from leaving, but on the other hand he wondered if he wasn’t allowed to be a little selfish every once in a while. He had given so much for their cause already.. and it was not like he did not see the importance of this mission, no, Joshua was well aware of it, he simply wished he would be allowed to accompany Jae.

Joshua knew Jae was the best assassin of the Undying and assassins worked best on their own, but if the Dominant was honest with himself he simply couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from his only friend. Yes, the tragedy of Phoenix Gate had happened over ten years ago, but the desperation and loss that came with it was never really forgotten, it always lurked in the back of his mind. And the thought of Jae leaving and maybe never coming back.. it was unbearable.

Yes, Jae was supposed to be the Phoenix’ protector, his bodyguard, but it was no secret that the young men had developed a deep friendship and trusted one another unconditionally. Most of the time they were inseparable; when they were out on assignments together but also when they were free to spend their time as they pleased back at the hideaway. And lately Joshua caught himself looking at Jae when the other didn’t notice, he caught himself feeling all warm inside whenever he heard Jae laughing.

Joshua knew this development had to be quite worrisome and most likely the reason being separated was twice as painful, even though it had to stay a secret he would keep close to his heart. But he had decided that if he couldn’t go with Jae, he would at least gift him a little something that would make him remember that Joshua was waiting for him back at the hideaway, a little something that would hopefully protect him, but for now all he could do was to wait for Jae to be released from his briefing.

#gcldfanged #let them be cute please and thanks

[phoenixshards]

@gcldfanged continued from here.

This did not go as planned. All Jae and Joshua had wanted to do was sneak out for the evening, escape the tight rules of the Undying for a few mere hours. Their stop? Just the small village nearby, but neither of them had expected a squad of Imperial soldiers to walk into the inn they were eating at, and upon laying eyes on Jae and Joshua, two hooded and therefore suspicious figures, the soldiers started chasing them down immediately, and their intention was obvious. They wanted to kill them. So far away from the eyes of their superiors they would face no consequences for killing what seemed to be two commoners and hunting them was probably a fine distraction to whatever boring guard duty they usually were assigned to.

The two young men kept running but their pursuers were hot on their trail, shouting at them how they would peel the skin from their bodies once they caught them, and it was then that Jae decided to stop them. He talked about splitting up, about staying behind to buy Joshua more time, to die so that he could escape.

“No! I’m not leaving you!” But Joshua knew he had to. Because Jae was right. He was the Phoenix, he had to survive to make things right. The Undying saw themselves as expendable, they would gladly die for the Phoenix or the house of Rosfield. It wasn’t right for Joshua, but Jae was giving him no choice. He had always been stern, he believed firmly in his devotion to the fiery Eikon and it left Joshua no choice. He had to run. He tried to blink away the tears as he made his way towards the forest, disappearing between the trees.

It wasn’t right! This was his fault, it had been Joshua’s idea to sneak out and try to be ordinary for once, even if just for a few hours, Jae wasn’t supposed to pay with his life for that. The young Phoenix stopped in his tracks, wincing as he heard the shouting which meant that the soldiers finally caught up with Jae. Jae was a decent fighter, more than that, he was a skilled assassin, but he was facing a group of trained soldiers, all he could do was put up a fight as long as he could to give Joshua the chance to escape.

No. Slowly Joshua turned around, feet slowly carrying him towards the sounds of battle. He was the Phoenix, he was a Dominant. He would not let someone else sacrifice their life to save his, he would never let anyone die for him again, not when he could do something about it. He would not let this turn into another version of Phoenix Gate.

With determination Joshua ran back, holding his palm open to summon a flame. Ever since he had woken up from his coma he had refused to open himself up to Phoenix again, too afraid of the power he didn’t know how to wield, too scared to accidentally turn the hideaway of the Undying into another fiery catastrophe.

“Come to me, Phoenix.. please, I need you!”

But the Eikon refused him. There was no fire dancing at his fingertips, no warmth coming to him at all. He was too powerless to save anyone, always was and always would be. But not today. When he returned to the site of battle, Joshua was surprised to see three of the four soldiers on the ground already, dead. But the remaining one was a bulky one, probably twice as big as Jae, and in this moment, he held Jae above ground by the throat, obviously drinking in his apparent victory, ready to kill him.

Joshua wanted to scream, but he had no time, he had to act. If he lost Jae, then he would have no one, then he would be all alone. He picked up one of Jae’s daggers that lay discarded on the ground next to one of the dead soldiers, and then he threw himself at the remaining soldier. Joshua was too small to make him lose balance, but he was surprised enough to drop Jae and when he turned to face his attacker, Joshua acted almost instinctively. With a swift motion he stabbed the razor-sharp dagger into the soft opening between shoulder pads and helmet, right into the knight’s neck. Joshua was surprised how easy the blade disappeared into the soft flesh, crimson red blood covering his hands in a matter of seconds, followed by a gurgling sound as the soldier started to bleed out. He still tried to grab Joshua, as if it would save him from dying, but in response Joshua stabbed his throat once more, and then a third time, until the man finally collapsed.

And as the man fell to the ground so did Joshua, staring at his blood-soaked hands, and as he realized what he had done he dropped the dagger. He felt cold and hot at the same time, heart hammering in his chest. He had killed someone. The world blurred around him, forgotten were the corpses or Jae on the ground, all he could do was stare at the blood on his hands and the blood of the soldier that was soaking the front of his tunic almost felt caustic. He had killed someone. And Joshua broke apart.

#gcldfanged #tw blood

[phoenixshards]

I swear I‘m going to be active soon, I know I really need to reach out to people more.

#🙃 #it’s hard #.ooc

[phoenixshards]

@cinderella-gurei asked: ∗ o9﹕ sender falls asleep leaning against receiver . (from Undying Chadley)

After being found in the rubble of what remained of Phoenix Gate by a few members of the Undying Joshua had first been nursed back to health and then he was raised by them. They were devoted to the house of Rosfield and as Joshua was supposed to be the Archduke of Rosaria at some point, even though that seemed years and miles away from reality, they took him under their wing, teaching the boy everything they knew and once he had grown they would flock around him to support him in his search for his brother but also to learn more about the Blight and that strange creature they believed was connected to it: Ultima.

But the best thing that came out of being saved by the Undying was this: Chadley. They had both been children when they met for the first time, both of them growing up in the care of the Undying and over time Chadley not only became his only friend but his most loyal companion. Where Joshua went, so would Chadley and over time the Dominant of the Phoenix would not want to have it any other way. He trusted Chadley most of all, and while he owed his life to the older members of the Undying, it was only around his silver-haired companion that he felt a real sense of safety.

And now here they were again, sitting in the back of a cart, between crates and barrels, after they had barely escaped with their lives after being hunted through half of Oriflamme. It had been another failed attempt at getting in touch with the Dominant of Bahamut, of course the Prince was well protected and to see two figures in ragged cloaks try to get to him would alarm the royal Dragoons. They only escaped with the help of the Phoenix, using a bit of fire to keep them at bay while the both of them snuck into the back of one of the many carts that left the city and from there on they could only wait, hoping they had chosen a cart that would get them back home again.

Joshua could only guess how many hours had passed since their glorious escape and neither of them dared to speak, lest the driver would hear them, but what he did not expect was to have Chadley fall asleep on him. He did not mind it, not at all, he was the person he felt most comfortable with, but physical touch or any display of affection often left him with a loss of words. But now all he did was carefully wrap his arm around his companion to pull him closer so he could comfortably rest with his head against his shoulder.

It never failed to amaze him how much trust Chadley seemed to have in him and how much Joshua trusted him in return. Using his powers during their escape had of course taken a toll on him, so he tried to suppress a cough as to not wake up his sleeping friend, so instead he closed his eyes, carefully snuggling closer to the other young man.

#cinderella-gurei #not a day goes by where I am not thinking about them

[phoenixshards]

@adureus continued from here

When Clive had decided to join him at the campfire instead of laying down to rest after a long day of travel it had been a bit of a surprise, but the even bigger surprise were the two little bottles of ale the older one had brought with him. After everything that happened; Phoenix Gate, being apart for almost two decades and then finally reuniting to battle a God.. it felt like Fate was toying with them. But Joshua had missed his brother too much to deny himself this little moment of everydayness.

So he had taken the bottle of ale, and even though the younger brother knew he was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, even more so in combination with the medicine Jote provided him with, he did not want to miss out on this. But just as expected the second or third sip was enough to make Joshua feel tipsy already, and soon the book he had tried to read in the little light the fire had provided them had been forgotten, the focus of his eyes now fixated on his older brother.

The alcohol almost made his mind feel clearer and Joshua thought back about their past, when the both of them were unassuming children. He remembered how their mother had ended up despising Clive for thinking he was weak as he had not been the one to be chosen by the Phoenix, but how wrong she had been. How wrong they all had been. Because Clive had been chosen all along, by a second Eikon of Fire, possibly even the stronger one out of the two.

How proud Joshua was of him. Always had been, and always will be. He had been proud of Clive when he had been announced as the First Shield, he had been proud of him when he had watched him train with Lord Murdoch and he was even prouder now that everything was about to end. All this time they had thought Joshua would one day be the Archduke of Rosaria, and technically he was, but Clive was the one that was destined to save the world now. Well, he was destined to destroy the world, but Joshua knew his brother would do anything to save the world instead, and he would do absolutely everything to support him, even die for him.

“When it is time I will give you all of my remaining strength. You are not alone, even when I am gone, I will always be with you. I promise.”

Perhaps it was the ale loosening his tongue that made him speak so freely, or it was the desperation the young Phoenix felt. He had no doubt that Clive would lead this world into a bright future, he just feared and knew he would never get to experience that world.

#adureus #wow okay #I promise I just wanted to write a short reply #and my brain decided to produce this #this is super random I am sorry

[phoenixshards]

welcome! this is my little rp blog for a couple of final fantasy muses, including Haurchefant, Sleipnir Harbard and Rufus Shinra.

this is a sideblog to @phoenixshards

info (carrd from joshua). muse list.

#I have made a sideblog for the other boys #if anyone is interested #might add a few later

[phoenixshards]

@cinderella-gurei asked: A kiss while one or both parties are crying (Undying!Chadley while Joshua is crying?)

The night before someone had to make a difficult decision or fight a gruesome battle, everyone comforted themselves in a different way. Some needed solitude, some drowned their worries in booze and others looked for comfort in the arms of a man or a woman. Joshua still contemplated what he should do. Tomorrow they would go to confront Ultima one last time and the thought of it filled him with dread for several reasons. He didn’t like the thought of his brother getting so close to the creature that continued to try to take Clive’s body as their vessel. Then there simply was the pressure of the whole fate of the world depending on them. And ultimately: Joshua’s condition continued to get worse and he was convinced that even if they managed to defeat Ultima he would not get out of it alive. He knew it was a small price to pay, to sacrifice his life to save many, plus, he had known for a long time, basically all his life, that he had not been made to be long for this world. He thought he had made his peace with it a long time ago, but there was still one thing that made him cling to this life, that made him want to survive.

Chadley.

His childhood companion, his most trusted friend, his lover.

As if his feet had a mind of their own they carried him to the little room he shared with Chadley during their time in the Hideaway. And it seemed like the other had already been waiting for him, despite it being awfully late already. There was just a little candle brightening up the room and Joshua quickly found his way towards the bed and into the Undying’s open arms. With the turmoil that was their lives being this close to Chadley had always been the only place he felt really comfortable, here in his arms he felt safe and protected, even though he knew it wouldn’t last. And knowing that this was their last night together, that this was the last time Chadley would be able to hold him broke his heart.

Silent tears rolled down Joshua’s cheek as he pressed himself against Chadley, breathing in his scent, listening to his beating heart that usually always calmed him down but now only added to his sorrow. If only they had more time..

Joshua didn’t fight it when a gentle finger was put beneath his chin to lift it up and he didn’t shy away from locking eyes with the person that had been by his side for eighteen years now. He knew he didn’t have to hide his tears from him.

“Chadley..”, Joshua whispered and his voice sounded so incredibly hollow, then he leaned in to tenderly brush his lips against those of his companion, kissing him gently before breaking apart completely. More tears followed as Joshua took Chadley’s hands into his, pressing a kiss to each of them before he spoke again:

“Promise me, Chadley, that once this is all over you will find me again.” No matter where that might be.

#cinderella-gurei #I am still so incredibly fond of them #I feel like this is one of the best things I ever wrote for joshua #just hitting myself in the feels