been really lonely for a really long time. one day, someone will care about being friends with me as much as i care about it when i want to be friends with someone. until then I don’t know what i’m gonna do or how i’m gonna be. it’s hard for me to think about it any other way than that other people have let me down. but really i think that one day my future friends will find me. the people who are vaguely around right now are just people, but it’s not their fault that they aren’t friends.
listen to this, listen to the whole album. don’t you get it? we are so damaged, everything is pieces of pieces of pieces and all we can ever be a part of is abstractions, commodities, but for the love of god we don’t have to be normal and we don’t have to be what the people selling us say we are. this changed music for me in 2001 and it changed it double when i didn’t see it change the world. we can fucking dare to just Play Anyway even when our music reduced to nothing but vibes, “put on something smooth”, “put on something chill”, “put on something effervescent”, well OK, i will, but also i am going to be saying “fuck you motherfucker” in every note whether you can tell or not, i’m going to play in hyperprecise 13/8 and then play a spaghetti western soundtrack on the vibraphone because fuck you, i’m gonna play am intentionally boring parody of Jimi Hendrix because fuck you for making me a commodity but here it is, here’s your commodity, i made a collage out of it. here are the Standards you asked for. fuck you.
i stream improvised experimental music on twitch at ttv/pennyyells
in “penny show” i collect techniques and styles from across time and space and combine them into an emotive, intimate, and imaginative journey
i perform using guitar, synthesizers, sequencers, and livelooping
you can’t flip the same penny twice, it’s different every time. currently saturdays starting between 6PM and 9PM PST, and usually ending 5-6h later
here is something from the last performance, where i decided that what a folksy danceable 11/8 groove really needs is FM drum and sputtery gated fuzz screams