The Great British Bake Off: Everybody have fun :) :) I'm sure you'll all do fine :) Your Swiss roll is so lovely :) :) :) Very nice :))) *Light ballet music*
Any American Cooking Show: YOU GUYS HAVE SIX SECONDS LEFT THEN THE BOMB E X P L O D E S *Gunfire* YOU THINK THAT COUNTS AS FOOD YOU PATHETIC SAD SACK *Ride of the Valkyrie blasting in the background* ILL SEND A BULLET THROUGH YOUR SKULL BEFORE I TAKE A BITE OF THAT *Banshee shriek
i just remembered one time in kindergarten i punched this girl i knew because we were drawing birds and she drew her bird with a human nose and mouth and it pissed me off so badly i went into like berserker mode