patchoulihaze

[patchoulihaze]

And I'm past 30... fuck, I'm not liking this.

[patchoulihaze]

[patchoulihaze]

“Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest.”

— Wintergirls

[patchoulihaze]

Don't want to eat but really craving food? Go step on the scale and let that number bring you back down to reality.

[patchoulihaze]

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[patchoulihaze]

skinny

when I was dying

I think it is really fucked up

to start a sentence like this

everyone complimented me

on slowly turning to ashes

'You look so pretty dear'

they said

and I heard

'try harder'

when someone is suffering

from lung cancer

You don't light them a cigarette

You don't

You do not hand a suicidal person

a loaded gun

unless you want them to die

so why did you?

why did you handed me a gun?

what was I supposed to do with it?

besides pulling the trigger

when you are sixteen

and at some point

we all are

nothing is as easy as dying

without anyone noticing

dying isn't like it is in the movies

a 60 second sequel

with blood and wounds and lots of noise

it is a quiet long-term-process

You do not recognise the dead

-aeris

[patchoulihaze]

people don’t understand how mentally draining having an eating disorder is. they assume you just skip a meal a day and then boom you lose like 30 pounds then recover. they don’t realize that you lose all your energy and can barely even function. you lose friends over it, get horrible grades, have to stop working, lose interest & energy in pursuing passions and hobbies. it fucking sucks and they make it so obvious they don’t give a shit about us.

[patchoulihaze]

15.02.21

[patchoulihaze]

Reasons you should let me come

I’ll sound really cute when I’m moaning your name

I’ll be more sensitive and easier to torture afterwards

I’ll show you exactly how grateful I am

I’ll promise you anything in exchange for permission

I’ll look really even more pathetic when my knees give out and I’m collapsed in front of you

You can tell me what a dirty slut I am for liking this so much

I’ll say anything you want to convince you to let me

[patchoulihaze]

This.

[patchoulihaze]

I need to listen to this...

sometimes you have to put that nice girl act in your back pocket, stop being so shy, stop being so self conscious, and just do whatever the hell you want. look out for you.

[patchoulihaze]

relationships & BPD

#tip 1; Educate your partner about the illness.

#tip 2; Be honest and open with your feelings.

#tip 3; Let them know what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable.

#tip 4; Communication is VERY important.

#tip 5; Expect that sometimes some of their actions won´t meet your expectations, but don’t forget that they are trying they´re best and they love you.

#tip 6; If you feel like your partner is overstepping a boundary or moving too fast, let them know!! If they truly, truuly love you they will respect your space and give you the time you need.

#tip 7; When in an abusive situation, do not be afraid to call the person out on it or ask for help from a third party. Even if they are kind and caring towards you sometimes, all the abuse isn´t worth those times of pain and torment.

#tip 8; Learn to recognize that sometimes you might go too far. It isn´t our fault that sometimes we can be REALLY mean and nasty towards our significant other, but that doesn´t completely absolve us from the responsibility of said action. So do not be afraid to, once you´ve calmed down and/or feel more stable, approach them and apologize. Explain to them that you didn´t mean it, and it was just your brain being an asshole again.

#tip 9; that also applies to when we are being manipulative.

(( if you reblog this, feel free to add more tips! It would be nice to have a big list floating around on Tumblr with tips for everyone to make the most off

Good luck on your battles , Soldier.))

[patchoulihaze]

My Daddy does this quite often...

Wishes

[patchoulihaze]

Why are you a Dom when you do housework. Why do you have a sub? Her job.

OKay okay.. okay…. 

Really.. I am not gonna be rude here but this was truly hysterical.. so glad i was not taking a drink of coffee when I read this. …ahhhhh…..(breather)

You have a lot to learn about Me / Responsibility / and Domination or what I have viewed as what makes a dominant, well dominant. 

First off. My sub, my partner, my wife. Did not sit on her ass and do nothing. That was the first assumption that was wrong. In all relationships there is a balance and we have an assignment of chores, work, and all things we do. There were a load of things for her to do and trust me she worked very hard all day to take care of what was her responsibility.

I would NEVER make my woman, work in 90+ degree heat doing manual labor based items. Not because she can’t, but because I know my body and I know what I can / can’t do, and I know hers. 

Secondly, just a thought. what would a “single” Dom do? Wait for the shit to get done?? No Dominants that take responsibility for their homes, families, submissives… Get shit done, no matter what it is, be it a crucial financial responsibility, or scrubbing the toilet. A Dominant takes personal responsibility for his / her environment and those that reside within it. 

In my moral code.. a real “man / dominant” NOTHING and NOONE is beneath them.

A home, a family, a business, and a D/s relationship requires a foundation. Something that makes sure that a garden of success can grow, stability in trust, and an innate ability to provide opportunity for the future. If you are not that foundation, do not expect others to magicly assume the position. Let me honest, it is not a place for the meek, it is not a place for the selfish, it is not a place for those that think they are privileged. Being the foundation, is for those that will sacrifice all for the benefit for those in their care. 

D/s is not just blowjobs, barking commands, and sipping whiskey. Jesus how fucking boring that would be. Where are the personal goals, the triumphs over day to day challenges, The glow of success when you see your submissive… wait for it…. Happy. 

D/s is not about me getting what I want because I demand it. D/s is about me getting what I want, because others WANT to give it to me because they feel I deserve it by how I treat and value them as people.

Now…. what does all that mean???? 

I am denied, NOTHING. There is no misgivings of trust.There is nothing that is in fear for her, why? Because , she is never “ghosted, unsure of her home, unsure of whom I choose to be with, and never in doubt of my commitment to her, the home and family. 

Now…. what would you do for a person that provides a secure home, health, and family and puts that above all other things? How much would you want to please them? 

My submissives job is to make sure that she takes care of the things that are her responsibility, even the things that as in all relationships pendulum into her circle of to do, when I simply cannot. And well vice versa.

Power and Domination is not about someone being in fear of me, or worshipping my money, or charisma or me taking advantage of the “submissive state”

True power and dominance comes from one thing. Fulfilling your partners must haves and needs, to such a level that they are willing to put your wants, over thiers. Truly, when I say I wish to “ruin” her… I ruin her in ways that break all boundaries. 

This is me. Always has been. Always will be. 

~Primal

[patchoulihaze]

@mikethesituation trips me out. 😂😂😂 Me af though. Regrann from @mikethesituation - To be a Snack or to Eat One🤔 Treat thyself it’s Cheat Day 🍔 🍟 (at Near West End, Richmond, Virginia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnt244mnGpS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16qevpcelucwo