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pastorlaytonspen · 3 years

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Remember When...

I sit here tonight thinking of Christmas Eve. It isn’t so much Christmas that gets me. I’m not really that fond of the holiday myself. I prefer Thanksgiving, the old one back when everything was closed. But Christmas Eve is a favorite time for me as well because, for the time being, it’s a time when my entire family on my dad’s side gets together. We gather, we enjoy each other’s company, we catch up, we reminisce, we eat, and we play games and share a few gifts....and I get to figure out how to fall off of my cousin’s hover board, but that’s another story.

I didn’t always appreciate these family gatherings. When I was young, and the family was much smaller, they would all come over to our house. Our house was a ranch-style house. My grandmother, the matriarch of the family, lived with us so that’s why they all came to our house. The Christmas tree, typically artificial, stood staring out the big bay window in the front of the house. Our house would smell of delicious foods cooking all day long. We would anxiously await family to come. Of course mom made us dress in sweaters or nice clothes. They weren’t suits, but it still made me wish everyone would stay home just so I wouldn’t have to dress that way.

The clothes would soon be forgotten as family by family would ring the bell and be welcomed into the house. Aunt Ruth and her family. Aunt Nancy and her family. Aunt Emma, Aunt Angela and Uncle Jimmy. If they were up from Florida, Aunt Grace and her family. Their coats would be taken to my grandmother’s room and put on the bed. They would each put their gifts under the tree and take the food to the kitchen. The men would be huddled up around the TV, while the ladies were preparing a spectacular Christmas meal. I was not a big sports fan at the time, but would listen to the men talk. I did, that is, until my dad built an extra room onto our house with another TV. Then I would go in there with my cousin and watch Christmas movies.

Dinner was always good, always on time - 5:30pm because that’s what Mom-mom Dutton said - and there was plenty of it. When it was ready, we would all gather in the dining room. My dad or Uncle John or one of the men would pray. My dad would often, which perhaps why it has moved onto me, or because I’m a pastor. Either way, I typically do the prayer now. But then it was my dad. Our family would sit at the tables, either in the dining room, garage, or the addition; depending on the year and number of people in the house. For many years I was at the kid’s table. I don’t know what the fascination is with being at the adult table, but I know that I always wanted to be there. After dinner, my aunts would clean up the dishes. The kids, including myself, would rush back to the living room and anxiously await the opening of the gifts. If cleaning up was taking too long, we would attempt to get Aunt Nancy to hurry into the living room. You see, no presents could be opened without Aunt Nancy. She was the one who handed them all out. To this day I do not know how she became the official hander-outer of the presents, but when I was kid, I just knew that I wouldn’t get any gifts unless Aunt Nancy gave them to me. Yes, I know; there’s a sermon illustration there.

We would follow up with all kinds of pies and desserts. It was quite a memorable time. There are several old pictures that tell the tales of those gatherings in the living room. They bring back great memories. Now, we couldn’t all fit in that living room. There’s 50+ now! We’ve gathered for several years in a restaurant my cousins allows us to use.

I love those times with family. I only wish I had appreciated them as much then as I do now. I wish I could sit with my grandmother, aunts and uncles and ask about their childhood and their Christmases. I wish I could hear stories of their past and what it was like for them. But isn’t that how memories work. We don’t really appreciate things or people or activities as much when we’re doing them or around them as we do when we can’t do them as much or they are no longer there. Now I live far from my family so I see them very little. We used to gather a couple times a year - Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes in between. Now, I simply hope each year that we will even get to gather together on Christmas Eve.

I love my family. I love getting together with them. But I wonder if we love gathering with God’s family the same way? I sometimes struggling with even wanting to gather with them. Yet, we have the opportunity to see them each week or even more. Do we truly appreciate them? Do we know how valuable they are in our lives? I doubt it. I would wager that most of us do not realize how much they mean to us or how sitting down and listening to their life stories could help guide our own. We don’t truly know the treasure that God has gifted to us.

Don’t wait until their gone or until you see them in heaven one day. Begin now to appreciate your church family. Spend time with them, thank them, and show them you care. You may even want to do that with your own extended family. If you do, you will look back one day with many memories and few regrets.

#family

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pastorlaytonspen · 3 years

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WHEN FAITH GETS REAL

I was at a conference with several hundred others who were worshipping God together, yet my mind was wandering and concern ... worry ... perhaps fear began to overtake me. This has happened only a few times to this extent. Once was when a friend was having quadruple bypass surgery. I couldn't be there and there was nothing I could do even if I was. I had to trust God fully. Another was when my brother was in a situation at a prison where he worked. Prisoners had overtaken a portion of the prison, taken some guards captive and even murdered one. I couldn't get a hold of anyone on the phone and I couldn't be there and there was likely nothing I could do even if I was. I had to trust God fully. Once again I find myself in that place. A situation where I feel helpless as someone I care for deeply goes through a difficult and scary situation; a situation where I likely cannot be there and there is nothing I could do even if I was. I have to trust God fully.

Trusting God seems simple when life is going well. One can just put on cruise and roll through life. Little bumps in the road are manageable and we think, "I can trust God. I've got this.". But is that truly even 'trusting God' or is it really just trusting myself? Because when I can no longer handle it in my own strength that's when the rubber meets the road and I know whether I'm putting my trust in God or not.

I continued to listen to the worship in that conference session. As they sang the words "I know how this story ends", I could only think, "I really don't care right now how this overall story ends. I only care how this awful circumstance is going to end". I wanted to yell at God and tell Him that it makes no sense. "Why would He do this thing?" I tried to justify it thinking it may be a way to move the one involved onto a different course in life or to bring more faith to those closest to the situation or even to bring about a miraculous healing for the doctors and medical personnel to witness. But my mind went to the infamous 'what ifs'. What if none of those things happen? What if the one most impacted turns from God as a result? What if faith is crushed crushed rather than refined? What if mortality overrides the miraculous? What then God? What then?

It's times like this that theology must rule over emotion. This is the time one realizes that faith must be chosen more than felt. This is where the verse "Lord I believe; help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24) comes into full realization. I believe God loves His children. I believe this one is one of His own through faith in Jesus Christ. I believe that He will do what is best. But I struggle with that best being any different than my desire. I struggle with that best being what is right now. I struggle with God not doing what I think of as 'the best'. I know God is worthy of trust. I know He is worthy of all my faith being in Him. Now I must prove whether that faith is real. Though I am also certain that God must provide the faith I need because I cannot muster it on my own.

"Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

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pastorlaytonspen · 3 years

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Pleasing the Lord

I was thinking on my life the other day and longing once again, as I tend to do on occasion, for a family. I went to church Sunday and the pastor spoke on the sanctity of life and the treasure of children. I think children are a blessing. The Bible itself says so. Psalm 127:3 states, "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from Him". I so often have desired a large family to teach God's Word, carry on the family name, be there when I am old and to see God's great blessing. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I have never been married nor had a family; yet I still have a deep passion for families and seeing them successful and united together in Christ.

This journey of family caused me to do the "what if" thing in my mind. What if I had gotten married? What if some young lady from high school or college had become my wife? How would my life has been different? I was determined to preach and likely would have still went through college, likely my alma mater, and earned a pastoral degree, just as I did. Perhaps, with the encouragement of a wife I would have already earned a masters degree instead of working on it now. But that's where anything familiar would have stopped. Having a wife and maybe even a child, I never would have taken a $10,000, 1 year internship at a small church in Michigan. I certainly would have either taken the youth pastorate I was offered in Pennsylvania at the time or, being married, I may have had other senior pastor ministries open up. Who knows where that would have led? I would, most likely, be serving in a church as a pastor and would still be there today or went onto another church by this time.

Being single I missed out on some opportunities that I can never get back. But I did gain others I never would have taken. I took a chance and went to that little church in Michigan for a one year internship. I stayed for 17 years. In that time I met great people, many who are still like family to me and I know I could even call today any time I needed them. I came to enjoy fishing, took several trips to Canada, went to Brazil, and discovered a passion for working with struggling teenagers. I doubt I ever would have found that out if I had been married.

If I was married I likely never would have worked so closely with youth going through a difficult time. I would have worked with church families, who have struggles as well, but not with those who are lost in a world of drugs, utter rebellion, incarceration, family turmoil, addiction, pornography, violence and more. I doubt I would have entered that world, and no one would have condemned that action. I would have been focused on my family, as I should have been. I would have desired for their growth in Christ and wanted to do what was best for them. I never would have sold most of my belongings and taken up the rest to move from an apartment in Michigan to a single room in Georgia to work at a residential home for troubled teenage boys. I never would have done that with a family.

The Lord then brought to my mind 1 Corinthians 7:32-34:

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided."

I never thought of myself as "being anxious for the Lord". I desired to be that kind of man but thought it unattainable to me. I don't pray with fervor and passion like Christ or Daniel. I am not as Biblically brilliant as Paul. I seem to sin in greater degrees than David. How can I be single and focused on the Lord? But God reminded me that this is what my life has been. I have been living for Him as a single person in ways I never would have done or, perhaps, could have done as a married man. I served him in unique ways, and still do. Throughout that time he has provided me with "family" and friends. He has brought people into my life that I, as a single pastor and man, could influence for Christ. People I never would have been able to impact had I been married.

I still get to do that today. In the last three years alone God has allowed me to impact 87 struggling teenager's and their hurting family's lives. And that number continues to increase. I never would have done this if I had been married. I would have been focused on my wife and six kids or however many I would have been blessed with by God. Instead, God has allowed me to be “anxious for Him”. I do need to grow in my prayer life, be more fervent in His Word and live more like Christ. In other words, I’m not there yet. But I cannot forget what God has done and see the service He has allowed, not as a curse because I could not do it with my own family; but as a blessing because I could do it at all. Thanks be to God for all He has done and will do through my life. May I always “be anxious for the Lord”. May you be as well.

#1Cor7 #single #pleasing god

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pastorlaytonspen · 4 years

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Choosing to Suffer

I recently made a post where a big argument was similar to this, "Why would anyone choose to be lonely, made fun of, ridiculed, suffer, be rejected by family etc.?" While it is a good question, it didn't respond to the statement I made that sin is sin.

Many people choose all those things. I've witnessed people choosing drugs who end up broke, are rejected by family, ridiculed by others, etc. Despite this, they continue on in their downward spiral of severe drug addiction. Why they do it is a good question, yet it wouldn't change the fact that they have given themselves over to a life altering substance.

Those who chose adultery, choose to emotionally, and then physically, be separated from their family. Their own desires supersede what is best for their spouse and children. They choose to live a double life many times and choose to do it despite what others may think of an adulterer. They also risk STDs for themselves and others. It's sin, yet they still choose it.

These consequences happen for different areas also. Many Christians in other countries choose to follow Christ even though it is looked down upon, can separate them from family, cause imprisonment, torture and death. Yet they choose this anyway. Why? The same is true in various places with other religious, social, moral and individual choices.

Saying one suffers doesn't mean they didn't choose that life. Perhaps they prefer it, think it's the only way or have a strong belief or opinion about it. Perhaps they were greatly tempted or more susceptible like some with alcohol, while another may be less inclined. That doesn't make something that is sin less of a sin. The temptations in my life may vary from yours, yet I am still held accountable to God for them. We all are. I can choose the consequences of sin or those of following Christ.

"Why would I choose something for which I suffer?" is a good question we all must ask. At the base of it is either a desire to serve self or serve God. "Do I live to serve self or to serve God?" That is truly the question we are answering with each decision we make. The choice is up to you.

#sin

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pastorlaytonspen · 4 years

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Pastors & Sexual Purity

One thing, in regard to this issue and pastors in general, is that of accountability and counseling. Pastors can many times be seen as those who do not need accountability or counseling as much as others may. This is a false assumption and dangerous. I would say they need it even more. Many are secluded much of the time and separated from others. They need others to talk to and with whom to be open. Counselors are highly encouraged to be in continuous counseling themselves due to all the problems of others that can be placed in their lap. How much more does the pastor need this thing? I would highly encourage pastors, including and, going by the stats in article, especially youth pastors; to be in counseling. Pay for it yourself or have a confidentiality agreement if your church pays for it so your counselors notes cannot be requested by the church. Keep it confidential. Use a biblical counselor. Be open. And allow God to work through someone else to bring you comfort, accountability, and relieve stress. It is important for you, as a pastor, to be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually so you can give into the lives of others. Here is the article by John Piper that prompted this post: https://www.christianpost.com/news/john-piper-pastors-higher-standard-of-sexual-purity.html?fbclid=IwAR2n7x5EURc_aucIG7DFMeiWzP1MzgGhPO5YUrBK68xE6XOZgZOyt0sGyzg

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pastorlaytonspen · 4 years

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It’s Your Choice

Saying someone doesn't decide to be homosexual or transgender is like saying someone doesn't decide to be an adulterer. They would say they couldn't help it, fell in love, were overcome with emotion or it's just the way I am. But we wouldn't accept that from an adulterer. Do they have sexual urges? Of course. But God has a specific purpose for those: procreation, illustration and enjoyment, within marriage between a man and a woman. God is clear in His Word. Any sexual activity outside of this, including our own lustful hearts, is a violation of His commands. Do not, fellow believer, accept the world's excuses for rebellion against God. Trust what He says is what is best, is good, is abundant life. Amen.

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pastorlaytonspen · 4 years

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Ethical Decision Making Paper

If you’re up for some reading, this is my Ethical Decision Making Paper about a counselor who decided to sell vitamins and homeopathic remedies in her practice. Enjoy.

Ethical Decision Making Paper: Scenario 3

Layton J Dutton II

Liberty University; COUC501

Abstract

This paper is about making ethical decisions in practical counseling situations. A situation with Amy is utilized as she seeks to make extra income by selling items on her professional web page and in her office. This paper looks at the problems created because of Amy’s decision and what the ACA Code of Ethics has to say about this situation. It also looks at Georgia’s Rules and Regulations. Each of the six moral principles is reviewed to determine how they may impact Amy’s scenario. There is also referenced a few sources to see what others would have to say and lists some people and associations that would be good to contact with this type of question. Six potential courses of action are given and narrowed down to two, one for Amy and one for the author of the paper. The determined action is then broken down into steps so that it can be implemented.

Identify the Problem

In this scenario Amy most certainly needs extra income. She must meet her expenses and pay for her education. Apparently, her private counseling practice is not covering these expenses and she resorts to an outside source of income. This is still not an issue. The problem arises when Amy brings her outside business into her practice. She now has two differing relationships with her clients. She is a counselor to them and also a salesperson. This could be viewed as a dual relationship and is certainly a boundary crossing. In this capacity, there is the opportunity to use or abuse her influence to increase sales. There is the chance that a client could get upset with her product resulting in issues during the counseling session.

This situation would develop into two likely problems and could result in a third if taken to far. The first is professional. There is the professional issue of selling these items to clients in the office. They could easily be mistaken as fixes to their clinical problems. A client may assume that vitamins and homeopathic remedies are useful resolutions to whatever brought them into the office for counsel. A chiropractor may have a massage device for sale in the office to help with pain. This is directly tied to his practice and may be helpful for certain clients. It could be recommended to those who need it. However, do these vitamins or homeopathic remedies offer any solution for Amy’s clients or is it simply another source or unrelated income? This could cause a professional problem when a client assumes it to be an answer to their problem.

This brings us to the ethical issue. The client making those assumptions, which have already been mentioned, is now depending on them to keep from having further issues. Amy, perhaps unintentionally, is creating a dual relationship that is likely to do more harm to her clients than good. There are times when crossing a boundary can be helpful, but is this one of those times? (Legal and Ethical Issues for Mental Health Professionals, 2008) It seems that Amy’s pursuit of extra income may very well inhibit her practice.

That last two, clinical and legal, are possibilities as well. There may be clinical repercussions if the client stops coming for counseling because he or she now has a homeopathic remedy. The client may also, as mentioned early, refuse to be open in sessions if a certain vitamin was not deemed effective. The legal issues could result if Amy does not make it clear that these items are not a substitute for proper counseling and are not proven to solve the issues dealt with in her counseling practice. Simply having them in the office may cause a client to take them for depression, anger, anxiety, etc. and sue Amy if they did not meet those expectations.

This issue is related to Amy and what she is and is not doing. She is advertising a product on her counseling website and in her office that seems to have nothing to do with counseling nor resolving any problems associated with counseling. As far as we know from the scenario given, she is not making that distinction and is crossing a boundary. Crossing a boundary is not always a negative activity, but, in this case; it appears to hold no positive help and could lead to harm of her clients. (2008)

Apply the ACA Code of Ethics

This area is one which is a little gray. The counselor is the one who really needs to make the decision as to whether they should enter in this relationship at all. The ACA Code of Ethics states the following in A.6.b.

“Counselors consider the risks and benefits of extending current counseling relationships beyond conventional parameters. Examples include attending a client’s formal ceremony…purchasing a service or product provided by a client…In extending these boundaries, counselors take appropriate professional precautions such as informed consent, consultation, supervision, and documentation to ensure the judgment is not impaired and no harm occurs.” (2014)

As can be seen here, there is not an exact parallel to Amy’s situation, however, there is mention of “purchasing items from a client” and taking “appropriate professional precautions”. (2014) These seem to flash a huge caution light on what Amy is attempting.

Another section in the ACA Code of Ethics, C.3.f, states this:

“Counselors do not use counseling, teaching, training or supervisory relationships to promote their products or training events in a manner that is deceptive or would exert undue influence on individuals who may be vulnerable.” (2014)

Here we see that it is not unethical to promote a product, but it is unethical to do so in a deceptive way or one that overextends the counselors influence on the client. (2014)

I would also like to take this opportunity to relate Amy’s scenario to the “Rules and Regulations of the State of Georgia”. There are two statements under the heading “Responsibility to Clients”. The first states that “Unprofessional conduct includes, but is not limited to, exploiting relationships with clients for personal or financial advantages”. (2019) Amy may, intentionally or not, be using her status as a counselor to impose her products on her clients in an unethical fashion. Simply having these products in her office and her attempting to coax clients into buying them could be construed as exploiting those clients.

The second statement in the “Rules and Regulations of the State of Georgia is this, “Unprofessional conduct includes, but is not limited to participating in dual relationships with clients that create a conflict of interest which could impair the licensee’s professional judgment, harm the client, or compromise the therapy.” (2019) This dual relationship of business person or sales person to client and counselor to client could cause emotions on either side that may result in Amy giving poor counsel or the client closing off in therapy or leaving altogether. It is a delicate balance that must be maneuvered carefully.

Determine the Nature/Dimensions of the Dilemma

Moral Principles

There are several of the moral principles that could apply in this situation. Let me go through each of them. The first is autonomy. This moral principal says that the client has freedom of choice and action. (Forester-Miller, H., & Davis, T. E., 2016) One could say that the client has the free choice to participate in Amy’s new side business or may freely choose to not participate. That is true, however, the counselor-client relationship could cause the client an extra burden to participate.

The second moral principle is that of justice. This principle would mean that Amy must treat each client with the same respect and give the same skill level to each whether or not they choose to buy her products. This could be difficult if Amy feels slighted by a client who decided not to be a consumer of her vitamins and remedies.

The third moral principle is beneficence. This is the idea of doing good and not causing harm. (Forester-Miller, H., & Davis, T. E., 2016) Amy may be capable of not causing harm here and doing good. It is possible that some of these vitamins and homeopathic remedies could be helpful to her clients, but giving these types of items out could put her on the verge of something a medical doctor would need to do. Amy may be walking a thin line by suggesting these remedies, especially the vitamins, as helpful to her client’s problems.

The fourth moral principle is nonmaleficence. “‘This principle reflects both the idea of not inflicting intentional harm, and not engaging in actions that risk harming others.’ (2016) Weighing potential harm against potential benefits is important in a counselor’s efforts toward ensuring ‘no harm.’” (2016) This seems to be a key moral principle. Amy is rolling the dice with this side business being integrated into her counseling practice. She is taking the chance that everything will work out when, in reality, there is a better chance of her clients experiencing harm as a result and almost no chance that this will be helpful to their counseling sessions.

The final moral principle is that of fidelity. This is encapsulated in the word ‘faithfulness’. (2016) A client’s involvement with Amy’s business could improve their trust in her, but if a product or experience did not seem to go well to the client then it would affect the counselor-client relationship in a negative manner.

Other Literature

Sanders talks about these types of relationships. He uses the term “nonsexual multiple relationships”. (2013, p 139) Here he talks about how these types of relationships are not forbidden, but that “the intent of the code is to leave the judgment about rightness or wrongness of an NSMR in the hands of the therapist first, who it is assumed will rely on any or all of the resources at his disposal”. (2013, p 141) Sanders is looking at the APA code rather than the ACA code, but it seems the principles in each are quite similar.

Another source was that of Lynn Gabriel. She states, “I define therapy relationship then, as a contracted relationship between a person in the role of client and a person in the role of therapist for the express purpose of entering into narrative relations aimed at resolving the client’s ‘problem’ or helping them develop their goals”. ( Gabriel, 2005, p 52) This definition gives a distinct purpose to the counselor-client relationship. Amy will need to look at her business and determine if it will help “resolve a client’s ‘problem’ or help them develop their goals”. (2005)

Marriage and family counselor Sharon Erickson says this about multiple or dual relationships, “The problem with multiple relationships is that they can at any time become unpredictable and confuse the current relationship. Even when the second relationship is thought to not be harmful or even to be beneficial, precautions must be taken to prevent potential harm.” (2001, p 302) She goes on to say, “if the relationship is avoidable, avoid it”. (2001, 303)

Persons to Consult

In Amy’s situation, she is in graduate school. She could consult with her professor. If she has a supervisor in her state she could consult with him or her. In my situation, I would consult with the head of the counseling department at the church I attend. She is a state-approved counseling supervisor so she would certainly have some ideas. I also have a few friends who are licensed counselors. They do live in Michigan so their advice would be more along ethical and moral guidelines than any state legalities that may be involved, but, in this case, that is the main concern.

Associations to Consult

The simple answer here is the ACA. That would likely be the first association to come to my mind in seeking advice. Georgia has a state division of the ACA and I would seek them out first. Another similar association in Georgia is the Licensed Professional Counselor’s Association of Georgia. Their website has an area dedicated to consultation, giving up to three, 20 minute calls for nonmembers and longer consultations or in office consultation for members. These appear to be good associations to consider and certainly there would be those who have had similar encounters in their private practices.

Potential Courses of Action

There are a few courses of action that Amy can take. She can continue to do as she has been doing, while making it clear to her clients that there is no obligation to buy and that none of these remedies will resolve their counseling problems.

Secondly, Amy could separate her business from her practice. She could create a new website just for selling her products online. She could refrain from using her office to sell her products and purpose to not go to clients homes to initiate sales. She may also want to use a pseudonym on her business’ website so that clients who find her vitamin and homeopathic remedy store online do not associate her counseling practice with that business.

Dropping the vitamin and homeopathic remedy business completely, Amy could change over to selling products directly associated with the problems she talks about in her counseling sessions. She could sell books, videos and audio that deal with the types of problems she encounters. She may find counseling therapy products that would be beneficial to her clients and suggest them to those to whom they would be helpful.

Amy may want to consider having another professional counselor join her in her practice or she could join them to help reduce costs. This could save her the money that she is attempting to earn.

A similar option is to drop the private practice altogether and find an organization with which to practice counseling. It would eliminate most of the costs of her private practice and she would have the money she then needs without taking on a second business.

Lastly, I would suggest that Amy look at classes she is taking in graduate school. Could she reduce the number of classes and take on more clients? Is she attempting to pay for graduate school all out of pocket? Taking out a loan could relieve the pressure for a short time until graduate school is completed and then she could take on more clients to pay off her student loan.

Consider Consequences / Determine Course of Action

The first option to continue as she is doing while telling clients that there is no obligation to buy and that these items will not help resolve their problems sounds too difficult and confusing for clients. It will not solve anything but will likely end up creating more problems.

The second option of separating the two businesses is possible, but it is going to be quite a bit more work and take much more time. Amy has graduate school and a private practice. She does not have time for a completely separate business. It also has a huge potential to create problems because a client somewhere down the line is going to discover that Amy runs the vitamin and homeopathic remedy business. This will lead back to the previous issues.

The third option of selling counseling related items is definitely a possibility. There is still the difference in relationship of a business and a counselor, but the products are now of benefit to the client and the counselor has a much better explanation to any ethical board that may question her motives. Amy would have to maintain that purchasing products does not affect the counselor-client relationship nor the quality of the counseling sessions.

The fourth and fifth option are similar in that both require finding another person or organization. These options only work if there is an opportunity for employment somewhere else or if there is another counselor willing to join with Amy. The fifth possibility, especially, would eliminate Amy from having a private practice. If she is determined to maintain a private practice then this is not a path she would want walk down. She would also need to decide what would happen with her current clients. Do they go to another counselor or would they be able to still be counseled by Amy at her next position?

The last option may depend much on whether Amy is comfortable with taking out a loan or has the ability to do so. Taking less classes would need to be determined by whether she would be able to complete her program in the time allotted while taking fewer classes.

It seems to me to boil down to options three through six. Much of this depends on what Amy desires to do. I’m going to assume that she wants to be in a private practice. As a result, I would eliminate option 5, finding a counseling position at another organization. Going by Amy’s current model, I think that she would go with option three. She has already shown that she is capable of selling items. I think that Amy would be able to sell counseling related items while maintaining her private practice. I did look online and there are websites with such items and even seminars that one can attend to help a counselor sell these items at their practice.

Having said all of that, for myself, if I wanted to maintain a private practice, I would likely go with the last option. I have attempted to sell products in the past and I do not really like that position. I doubt I would be successful with it and would most likely become more frustrated at all of the extra work that it would take to make money from it. I would likely take out a loan in order to free up some finances or reduce the number of classes I was taking or both. I can say this because that is what I have done to take these classes. I can then take money I have to put toward schooling as I am able and, after I am finished, dedicate more money toward school loans. Also, due to no longer having classes after I have completed the program, I can take on more clients to help cover the costs of those loans. If I wanted to begin selling counseling related items after I am finished school then that would be an option as well, but I would want to consult with other counselors who have done that previously to learn how to avoid any pitfalls and still continue to benefit my clients.

Implement the Course of Action

The first course of action would be to stop selling vitamins and homeopathic remedies. The advertisements for that on Amy’s website would need to come down and the products removed from the office. She may want to bulk sell all of the items to someone who would like to get into that business. For any clients who wanted to continue buying those items, she could refer them to another seller letting the client know that she no longer sells those products.

For her resolution, she would want to meet with counselors who sell counseling related items as part of their practice. She needs to find out what products are most beneficial to the client and price ranges. She would need to find out how they advertise without being pushy, especially onto their own clients. She should ask about how selling these items affects the counselor-client relationship and how to properly maintain that relationship. Amy may also benefit from a seminar about selling items in her practice, while being careful that she isn’t being manipulated by a product-placement salesperson. It would be best to check with national and state associations to verify any seminar she would consider attending.

After gathering all possible information, Amy could set up her items online and in the office. She would still need to be certain that she isn’t suggesting any items that would not be beneficial to clients and that she does not hold any animosity toward those who do not buy items.

If it was me, then I would need to follow the same first step as Amy, but then check with the school about classes and look into loan options. I would also do well to determine my personal budget and how this would work into a scenario with a school loan.

References

“2014 ACA Code of Ethics”. (2014). Retrieved from

https://www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf

Erickson, Sharon H. (2001, July 1). Multiple Relationships in Rural Counseling. The Family Journal, Vol 9, Issue 3, pp302-304. Retrieved from https://journals-sagepub-com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/doi/pdf/10.1177/1066480701093010

Forester-Miller, H., & Davis, T. E. (2016). Practitioner’s guide to ethical decision making (Rev. ed.). Retrieved from http://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/ethics/practioner’s-guide-toethical-decision-making.pdf “

Legal and Ethical Issues for Mental Health Professionals, Vol. 2: Dual Relationship Boundaries, Standards of Care and Termination” [Video file]. (2008). Retrieved from https://search-alexanderstreet-com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/view/work/bibliographic_entity%7Cvideo_work%7C1779008?utm_source=aspresolver&utm_medium=MARC&utm_campaign=AlexanderStreet

Gabriel, L. (2005). Speaking the unspeakable the ethics of dual relationships in counselling and

psychotherapy. London ;: Routledge. Retrieved from https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/lib/liberty/reader.action?docID=243298&ppg=46

“Rules and Regulations of the State of Georgia: Chapter 135-7 Code of

Ethics”. (2019). Retrieved from http://rules.sos.ga.gov/gac/135-7

Sanders, Randolph K. (2013). Christian Counseling Ethics: A Handbook for Psychologists,

Therapists and Pastors (Second Edition). Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press.

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pastorlaytonspen · 5 years

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“UNPLANNED” MOVIE REVIEW

* Some aspects of the movie “Unplanned” will be revealed in this article.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the theater to see “Unplanned”, the true story of Abby Johnson, the youngest director of a Planned Parenthood clinic. It opens up with the in-your-face reality that a defenseless human life is being literally ripped out of the womb and brutally murdered. I was taken aback by it. Yet this movie is filled with hard hitting truths about abortion and Planned Parenthood. At the same time the themes of love and forgiveness flow throughout.

“Unplanned” reveals how easily we are deceived and we need to recognize that the enemy has blinded the eyes of those who perform these tortuous procedures. The staff working in these clinics are typically not cold-hearted haters. They are truly oblivious to the reality of how much harm they are really causing. They believe, as Abby once did, that they are helping and showing love, but it is completely misguided. These are people that need our prayers so God may open their eyes to the truth of what is happening and to the love and forgiveness of God that will keep them from utter collapse into despair after they discover that truth.

I was glad to see the people praying along the fence of the clinic throughout the movie. There were those that were vile and cruel in their approach. Others, however, stood alongside praying and speaking a kind word to potential mothers and staff as they began to enter the clinic. It was good to hear one of the most faithful prayer warriors state that he “wasn’t certain they were doing any good”. How often do we have doubts that our prayers are powerful? Yet, Abby remarked that “when you prayed our clinic no shows went up by 75%. Most of the lives you saved, you didn’t even know about.” It was to these soft spoken prayer warriors that Abby fled when she was ready to escape from the bondage she had been trapped in for so long.

While it is true that most staff in the clinics seemed to be loving and caring people, there were those that only cared for the bottom line. The director before Abby was only about abortions and making money. Her concern was that no ambulance show up, even if needed, because it would be bad publicity. Her desire was to make anyone else look bad. She was against Abby having a family because it would make her soft and weak and take her from what the director deemed most important, the job. The most pungent odor of apathy toward life was the scene in the POC (products of conception or, as the staff referred to it, parts of children) room. Here the parts of the baby are put together to be certain they are all there and none left in the mother. The director brought Abby into this room and remarked that she should be the next director because “everyone else brought in here cries, but you didn’t”. There can be no signs of compassion for what is obviously an act without any concern involved for the child that was just mutilated.

Even the doctor in the movie seemed uncaring. As I listened to the abortion doctor’s cold remarks and saw the complete disregard of life in his eyes, I was certain it was overplayed and overacted. Yet, I later discovered that the doctor in the movie was a former abortion doctor himself. He was simply relaying the heart that he himself had displayed when performing over 1,000 abortions. Until his eyes were opened, he had lost all truth and love for the life that he was killing.

This movie does have some difficult scenes. The opening scene can be one and two others when woman are bleeding after chemical and operational abortion procedures. For some younger teens, those scenes may be slightly graphic, though less grotesque than their typical video game or action movie. I do, however, think that EVERY teenager should see this movie, younger teens with their parents. Whether you have a 12 year old or an 18 year old, parents should use this biographical movie to open up discussion with their teens. This topic IS being discussed in your teen’s school classroom, locker room and online. If you have a teenager then YOU, as a parent, need to watch this movie, have your teen watch this movie and then talk over the themes of this movie together.

TRUTH - Talk about the realities of abortion. If you had one yourself, be honest about it. Talk over the feelings, pain and realities of it. Discuss how it affects your life and your relationship with those around you. You may even talk about beliefs on birth control and sex. Your school’s counselor and colleges will talk to your teen about these things and is under no obligation to talk to you as a parent about it. They may have already. Be sure your teen knows the truth.

LOVE - Let your teen know you love and care for him or her. Let your teen know that you aren’t leaving. You love them always and they can always come to you. You may also want to talk about other strong believers your teen can talk with whom you would feel comfortable giving advice to your teen. Sometimes there are things teens feel more secure telling another adult. Put strong believers in your teen’s life who love and care for them and will give sound Biblical wisdom.

FORGIVENESS - Allow your teen to be open with you and do not go crazy when he or she does. Most likely, your teen will reveal only a little at a time and watch for your reaction. Forgive them for the past and move forward together into the future. There may be some consequences, but don’t hold past offenses over their head once forgiven.

PRAYER - Don’t forget to pray together. God is the only one who is always with you and always with your teenager. Trust that He is the perfect Father.

This topic is a tough one, but, as seen in this movie, when truth, love and forgiveness are shown, along with trust in God; even the hearts of the most adamant can be changed. I am certain this movie will have a huge impact on your family and any who go to watch it. So go watch it now with your teen.

* For more on this movie and some of the actors, go to: https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2019/04/01/the_real-life_power_of_unplanned_139922.html

#unplanned #movie review

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pastorlaytonspen · 6 years

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Branded by Fire from a Baptist Preacher’s Perspective

This last week I attended my first Assembly of God or charismatic youth revival service. It was held at the famous Brownsville Assembly of God in Pensacola, Florida. I’ll admit that I had never really heard of Brownsville before this trip, but, like many events within denominations, it is famous within its own group of followers. To those in charismatic circles this place is famous for a series of revival services from 1995 to 2003. During this time it is said that millions came near to God and became filled with the Spirit of God. There was, as I’m told, great preaching and healings during this time. I’m not here to evaluate that specific happening. I am only going to comment, in as balanced a way as I can, the happenings during the week I attended Branded by Fire.

I say this was a youth revival service because it reminded me mainly of youth conferences I have attended in the past within my own denomination. Many teens were present, though there were a significant number of adults as well. There was the typical high-octane music most youth conferences or camps have and there was a lot of contagious excitement as I entered the building with my group of students, who happened to be all male.

I have been trying to decide how to present my thoughts. Rather than simply listing positive and negative thoughts in two separate areas, I will simply go through the activities and give my thoughts on each. Hopefully this helps keep those who tend to be completely negative toward anything charismatic from overreacting and those who are completely positive from being offended. I’ll begin with the Leadership Session I attended.

LEADERSHIP SESSION: I attended one of these on the third day. It was the only one I attended so I cannot comment on the other Leadership Sessions. I preferred to be a part of the sessions my students attended so I could get that same experience. The leadership session I attended was led by Jordan Morris. He said himself that he was not good at leadership, but instead talked from the Bible about Jesus Christ and the need to follow Him. As anyone who has led in ministry would know, and I’ve done so for 17 years, it’s easy to take our eyes off Jesus and begin to do our own thing. We certainly need that reminder to follow Christ and keep our eyes on Him in our personal lives so that we can lead others in that same pursuit. I thought that Jordan did an excellent job. He ended with everyone coming up front for prayer and to give anything to the Lord that was on our hearts. It was good immediate application of the message that was taught.

OPENING WORSHIP: I am separating this from Closing Worship because there was a distinct difference I will describe later. Opening worship, as I stated earlier, started off very high octane. Teens were jumping and shouting and having a great time. For some this may not sound like worship, but it is typical of almost all youth conferences, camps and concerts I have attended. The excitement of our group even got me out there joining in on the experience. I’ll admit it was fun. They did do other calm songs that allowed one to think through who God is and all He has done. I will say that some songs were repeated many times over, more than I am used to. Many tend to frown on such methods of singing, yet when I think of the Bible’s description of the angels singing in heaven, it seems quite repetitive as well. I don’t think it was wrong, though my personal leading of music has been to steer from that. The positive side of it is that with the repeating of words one could take time to think about God, their life and where they were.

For myself, the opening worship was when I made most of my own personal decisions for God. Perhaps it was because some songs were familiar, even from my Baptist background. I wasn’t constantly evaluating, but simply focused on God. For the past year or more I have personally felt so distanced from God and I simply went to my knees in prayer. A teen came up and said, “He said to tell you that He has never left you.” Whether God told her to say that or she says to everyone, I have no idea. I do know that it was helpful to me at the time.

Another experience was the night before when I just felt so low. With recent events and moving from a place of mainly running a ministry to mainly serving under someone and personal past sin in my life, I wondered if God loved me. I knew it, but wanted to hear it. I felt like I needed someone to say it out loud. Right in the middle of a song I asked a fellow staff member and friend to tell me that God loves me. He smiled real big, gave me a hug and said, “God loves you, Layton”. I was so glad he said that with my name. I valued that important reminder.

I will say that the worship there was freeing. Whether I felt like standing at my seat and singing, as I normally felt in the morning, or lifting my hands or kneeling on the floor or jumping up and down; I felt no judgment from others; just complete freedom to worship however I desired. I think I discovered in myself that, as a person who likes to talk with his hands, that worshiping with my hands helps me as well, even when I don’t feel like it.

There were many times the worship leader told us to raise our hands. I will say I don’t really like being told to raise my hands, but I think that’s more my passive rebelliousness than anything. I will say I didn’t raise them every time, but others didn’t as well. I don’t think you had to, though most did. Overall, the opening worship was a great experience and was the time I felt closest to the Lord.

SPEAKERS: This is certainly a time when I would find myself carefully evaluating everything said to see if it was from Scripture, out of context or was simply opinion. There were six speakers during the course of the week while we were there. The first night was Nate Schatzline. He took a common passage and came at it from a different perspective. He did an excellent job of sticking to the text and giving excellent illustrations and application. I would have been comfortable with him speaking at a Baptist church with that sermon.

That was Monday night. Tuesday was the most controversial of days for me in regards to speakers. Trey Myers spoke in the morning. He took a few verses out of context to support his premise, but did use others in context. It took a little evaluating to know the difference. He is also heavy into healing, though only called out things that you couldn’t physically see if they had been healed. Personally, I hoped he would call out my hand and foot, but that didn’t happen. Nate’s mom, Karen Schatzline spoke that evening. Much of her message was on point, though there was a little emphasis on speaking in tongues. From a speaking standpoint, I also felt she went a little long and could have said all she had to say in less time. That’s true of many Baptist preachers as well. Though I have nothing against a woman speaking, she was noted as a pastor, which I would regard as unbiblical. That wasn’t really pronounced so one would probably think of her as someone like Beth Moore. In fact, her speaking style reminded me of Beth Moore. I think many would like her.

Wednesday morning the church youth pastor spoke. I was in the leadership session so I cannot comment on his sermon. Jordan Morris spoke at night and was really good as well. He had said in the morning that he was going to talk about how to heal and raise the dead, but he didn’t talk on that. He talked about how we are all preachers and are to give the gospel to those around us. It was during this time I felt renewed in my passion to preach and desire, or vision if you want to call it that, to travel and preach. I feel I will do that one day, but God is still preparing me. Anyway, I only found fault that he used Mark 16 rather than Matthew 28. As many know, Mark 16 is not in the earliest manuscripts and was most likely added later. He had on a shirt with the verses about those who believe driving out demons, speaking in new tongues, picking up snakes drinking poison and healing people. I don’t get how one applies that all to today anyway, but being it’s probably an addition, I wouldn’t draw my theology from it. He stuck with the part about preaching the gospel, however, which is also found in Matthew 28.

Another thing he said, both in the leadership session and at night which I appreciated, was that speaking in tongues does not mean you have the Spirit and is not necessary for having the Spirit. It seemed some speakers, by the way they talked, may have disagreed on that statement; but no one was rebuked either way. I think it’s an “agree to disagree” type issue among them. I must say that it seemed like there was more freedom here to disagree on issues and not be looked down on. Those in my group know where I stand on tongues, women pastors, baptism of the Spirit, etc. and I was never told to keep my thoughts to myself nor to exit the service. I didn’t make a scene about it either. I only gave my thoughts when asked. I did appreciate Jordan’s comments, though. It seemed to balance things out a little for me.

In regards to the baptism of the Spirit. I know Assembly of God churches tend to teach a second baptism, or it may be the first, after salvation. However, anytime it was mentioned about the Spirit, the term “filling” of the Spirit was used. I think most Baptists would agree that Ephesians 5:18 tells us to “be filled with the Spirit”. I may simply be applying semantics, but I would agree that though we have the Holy Spirit, we need to be constantly filled with Him. I really had no issue with their terminology in this regard.

The last day, Thursday, began with a talent show in the morning. Those there had signed up during the week to give a spoken word, rap, sing, play an instrument, do drama, etc. It was a good break and great to see teens honoring God with their gifts. That night Mattie Montgomery spoke. He was on fire from the get go. He did an excellent job and wasn’t afraid to go against the grain to tell what he had learned in his study of the passage. It was an excellent sermon about continuing to live for Christ outside the church walls. This is an emphasis at most camps and conferences I have been to as well, with good reason.

I would say that, for the most part, the speakers were on point. Most of the sermons were on general principles of Scripture with which we would all agree. I think anyone would get some benefit from listening to most of these speakers.

CLOSING WORSHIP: If there was an area that is most controversial, this one was it. It was during this time people were called to come forward and be filled with the Spirit. Whereas in Baptist churches an altar call would last about the length of a hymn, this could last for a much more extended period of time. During this time the same song would be sung over and over and people could come forward. Some fell to the ground, some “spoke in tongues”, others laughed continuously, while some went into spasms. I started to wonder how they would know if someone was having a seizure or if someone should call 911. These spasms and falling only happened with a few. The last night made me quite uncomfortable to the point that I almost went outside. There was a prayer tunnel. This is where one walks through and is touched and prayed for by many people. You walk through and are prayed for by each one, most speaking in a way that sounded like baby babbling to me. I have went through one of these in a smaller church not long ago. I liked that one better because they asked specifically what you wanted prayed for and prayed for that. Here that was not really possible with so many people. Everyone basically prayed the same thing for everyone with one man walking around yelling, “Fire!” and swooshing his arm toward everyone. Several more fell to the ground on this night and were carried to the side where they lay like they were taking a nap. Blankets were put over them, I assume for decency. It got to the point that you had to step over people. I walked through this tunnel hoping for a unique feeling or vision of my future or healing of my body, yet felt like I had just walked through a strange experience that I doubt I would do again. Later someone with similar beliefs said he didn’t go through the tunnel because he could get the Spirit filling from his seat (One of the speakers had said this as well). Though, I will admit, that sometimes physically doing something helps us realize by symbol the spiritual action taking place. During he night, I began to observe those falling. I noticed a few things that drew me to the conclusion that this “falling out” was less about the Spirit filling someone then it was about ritual or emotional worship.

First, I would say 4 out of 5 of them were girls. Girls tend to be more dramatic and emotional making them more likely to drop when pushed in a way to encourage falling out.

Secondly, I noticed that in our group the same guys fell out or even laughed a few times during the week. It would seem that if they were filled on Tuesday at such an event that they wouldn’t need it again on Thursday.

Thirdly, the act was encouraged by others. It was regarded as a great experience or a spiritual awakening to have this occurrence. Falling out and speaking in tongues, though noted by a few speakers as unnecessary for Spirit-filling, was still viewed in high regard.

My conclusion on this “falling out” is that most, if not all were ritualistic in form. I don’t doubt that for them it was a form of worship, I do doubt that it was necessarily the Spirit causing them to fall down with some special blessing unattained by those who did not. I’m sure for some it was attention seeking, but that is true in any denomination. I’m certain for some it was an emotional decision rather than a real one, which the last speaker did an excellent job talking about; but that is true of any conference, revival or camp. I doubt I will ever fall out on the floor. It’s simply not my form of worship. One teen, after seeing others jumping around during a song, said, “I don’t feel like that is worship”. He preferred to stand in one spot with his hands raised. Should I say that he isn’t worshipping because he didn’t jump? Should I say that they didn’t worship because they did jump and dance? NO! I also don’t think I will go so far as to say that one falling out isn’t worshipping nor should one say that a person who doesn’t fall out isn’t worshipping.

The closing worship was also when “speaking in tongues” took place. I put that in quotes because I don’t believe tongues in the Bible is a form of babbling, but is known languages on the earth. It is like the Day of Pentecost when the apostles spoke and, though they didn’t know other languages, those who were from other countries understood them in their own language. I also believe that those speaking in tongues, as some did there, are to have an interpreter. There was never an interpreter during any point of the conference.

One thing that was good about the closing worship, as well as opening worship, was the freedom to pray for one another. Due to the extent of the worship time and the freedom given, you could literally pray for someone during a song or ask someone to pray for you and not feel like you were interrupting the service. In many Baptist services we attend, sing, watch, listen, sing and leave without any interaction with another person outside our own family, save for a brief handshake. Many pastors may hope for congregants to attend a Wednesday night prayer service, but why not pray for one another when everyone is already gathered together? It only seems logical and beneficial to the body of Christ.

CONCLUDING REMARKS: I have to say that I am very glad I attended this conference / revival week. Many times, as denominations, we only show the parts of services with which we disagree. I could easily see someone taking the prayer tunnel experience and recording that alone to show how foolish a charismatic service appears to a practicing baptist. However, that was a very small part of the week. Most of the week was on point and excellent. Even that had benefits and could be viewed as a form of worship. I truly think it would be great if Baptist churches would bring their youth groups to Branded by Fire or some similar conference. I know that many will think I’m foolish to mention it, but my question is, “What are you afraid of?” Do you fear they will have questions you can’t answer? Perhaps you need study your Bible more so you can. Do you fear they will be exposed to another denomination? Do you think they never will be? Do you fear they will become charismatic? Maybe you have been to surface level in your teaching. Do you fear they will know that there are other brothers and sisters in Christ who worship a little differently? Maybe it’s time they learned and maybe it’s time you and I learned from others as well. I would say the same to charismatic churches. Try attending the conference of a different gospel-preaching denomination. Then be prepared to answer questions. While on this trip one of my guys said, “I don’t know why we need to have different denominations. Why can’t we all worship together?” I told him that I would love for churches to take a Sunday morning and worship together in the park. I may be dreaming, but I think it would show the world that we are one body. Perhaps this is a privilege and ministry of many Christian singers and bands. They bring believers from all different denominations together for worship. Perhaps this is what makes it so special. I told my student, “One day we will all worship together in perfect harmony. I look forward to that day.”

In conclusion, this was an excellent experience that drew me closer to Lord and helped me open up in worship to Him. I was even convicted to read my Bible more. I had some great conversations with my students, wonderful times of prayer and fell in love with the Lord all over again. I’m glad I went and look forward to going back again next year.

#worship #brandedbyfire

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pastorlaytonspen · 6 years

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Missin’ E’rybody

A few weeks ago I had my first “family weekend” experience at Teen Challenge. This is where teen’s parents and immediate family are able to visit with them. This is part of the program so most had someone come to visit. A few had not been here long enough for a visit, while others had some special family members unable to make it. I was sitting in my recliner thinking about this and, frankly, feeling sorrowful for all those people I was missing from Evart, my church and my family. I began to write and this is what resulted. Hopefully it will encourage you to pray for those who are far from you and who are far from family and to look forward to the day when all those who know Christ will be joined together for a great reunion in Christ.

I'm livin’ a life full of ups and downs.

I go way up then fall to the ground.

Like knowin’ this is where I should be,

but I'm sittin’ here in my chair just missin’ e’rybody.

I wish it didn't need to be this way

and we could be together each and every day,

but God’s plans are the better way

and I gotta trust Him foreva’,

but here I sit in my chair just missin’ e’rybody. I'm missin’ e’rybody.

You may think you know my sin and there is nothing lef’.

But you don't really have a clue ‘cause I hid it on a shelf.

Then God looked down and said, “That's my child. I gotta save him from himself.”

My greed, my pride, my lust, my selfishness drove you so far from me,

but now I sit here in my chair just missin’ e’rybody.

I’m sittin’ here all by myself just missin’ e’rybody.

God I cast my cares on You; I repent of all I've done.

I know that doesn't make it right, without the sacrifice of Your Son.

I had dug myself such a hole there was no way I could win.

My life was full of nuthin’ but guilt, darkness and sin.

I needed someone to bail me out and Jesus heard my plea.

And now because of all He has done I was blind but now I see.

Yet still I sit here in my chair just missin’ e’rybody.

I'm sittin’ here all alone just missin’ e’rybody.

Oh God, why must it be this way?!

Why must my friends be far away?!

Why can't I see my family today?! Oh God!! …..

I cry out for that time when You and those I love so dear

will be together foreva’ and have nuthin’ ta fear.

I just want them here with me,

those people that I long to see;

but I’m sittin’ here in my chair just missin’ e’rybody.

I love you all and can't wait for the day I'll no longer sit and say,

“I'm sittin’ here in my chair just missin’ e’rybody.”

O God please quickly bring that day when I will never need to say,

“I’m sittin’ here in my chair just missin’ e’rybody, missin’ e’rybody.”

#lonely #God #long distance #faraway

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pastorlaytonspen · 6 years

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Book Reviews

With my injury, typing is difficult - until tomorrow, Lord-willing. Here is a summary of 5 books I was able to read during my injury - and had to for my “Emerging Leaders Class” for work. Perhaps my thoughts on these books will encourage you to read one, By the way, my favorite was “From Dream to Reality”. It’s about the building up of Teen Challenge, including a glimpse into where I currently serve. Enjoy!

God’s Armor Bearer by Jerry Nance

This book can be summed up easily with the term ‘servanthood’. Many concepts, from supporting the leader to being willing to do what is needed, all relate back to being a servant. It is easy to put our own agendas and desires and even our vision ahead of this idea of servanthood. We certainly have to recognize who is the leader and be dedicated to serving them and the vision God has given to them. We may have done it differently ourselves or may not fully understand the reasoning behind some actions, but we are there to support them. This book reminded me of my first year in youth ministry. I made a remark in public that I don’t recall but felt to the senior pastor like a comment demeaning his authority. He took me aside later privately and said that we needed to be unified. If there was an area of disagreement, we should talk privately about it. I took that to heart and was certain to even unify our youth group mission statement with that of the church as a whole. Supporting and helping leaders does aid them, but as revealed in the book, it aids the growth of the one serving as well. I also appreciated how the author talked of serving as an associate minister even while knowing God had gifted him in preaching. I love to preach and do not fully understand why that is not the place I am in right now. Yet God does not forget the vision he gave us so we must serve, not like those forgotten in battle; but like those whom God has placed in a position with a purpose.

From Dream to Reality by Jerry Nance

It was good to read this story and actually get a little insight into the beginning of Prayer Mountain Boy’s Academy. The beginning of the book struck an early cord with me, expressing exactly where I was over the last year – being in a ministry that was doing well and not really wanting to leave but constantly getting that conviction that I needed to. It was quite the journey for the author and for me. I liked how he did not pull punches. This wasn’t a book about how everything went smoothly according to plan. In fact, it seemed, at times, that the option to just shut down and move on would be better; yet God had other plans. This is certainly a book about trusting God in the ups and downs. There is a lot of good advice, prayer being a big one; but this book, to me, was more of an encouragement to trust God’s plan and timing when I don’t quite understand the direction He’s taking me.

Lead Like Jesus by Ken Blanchard & Phil Hodges

Once again we learn about being a servant like Jesus. This is something Jesus displayed throughout His life and so it should be evident in ours as well. The section on fear holding you back struck me. Fear of failure, rejection, and humiliation are things I have to continue to give to the Lord. I also liked the EGO acronym of “Edging God Out”. I hadn’t heard that one before but it is so very true. How often do we desire to be respected, looked up to or even simply thought of in a good light. However, we often do this at the cost of putting ourselves, our desires and our goals in front of God or, even more so, in His rightful place.

Another thing, for me, was the need to pray. I find it easy to pray when someone comes with a need or silent prayers through the day. I do, however, recognize the importance of spending more personal time in prayer. The busyness of life can detract from that, but I cannot allow it to do so. Being a servant-leader is not just an outside duty – hands and habits. It must also, perhaps even primarily, be an inside attitude – heart and head. I pray my leadership style and character follow the servant style of Jesus Himself.

Our Core Values by Jerry Nance

The attitude and actions that are to envelope each person working at Teen Challenge, and, in reality, each follower of Christ are described here. They are integrity, compassion, community, vision, stewardship, faith and servanthood. Each is important and each requires God at the center. If I was evaluating myself, I would say I was stronger in compassion, need to pray more for faith and am being challenged in community. Compassion is what brought me here and my slowly growing faith probably kept me from answering right away. The challenge of community is more logistical, though certainly given by God’s plan. Going from living alone and not so closely with everyone to living with others and much closer to everyone I know here forces me to think more in community. Being injured forces me to seek out help from that community. The core values are excellent and I pray my life reflects them more and more.

25 Ways to Win with People by John C Maxwell & Les Parrott

John Maxwell is apparently good with people. In this book, he and Les Parrott reveal just how he does it and how others can as well. Much of this deals with “considering others above ourselves” (Philippians 2:3). To win with people, one cannot think of themselves first. I enjoyed the illustration of how John and his wife sat in their hotel room with guests. The view was beautiful out the window, but John and his wife purposefully sat with their backs to the window so everyone else could enjoy the view. Even little acts like that stand out and build within us the character of caring for others.

#book #book review #john maxwell #jerry nance #teen challenge

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pastorlaytonspen · 6 years

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Can I Attend A Church I Don’t Completely Agree With?

I grew up in a Baptist church. I went to a Baptist college. I spent 17 years as a Baptist pastor. Yet, here I am attending an Assembly of God church. Is that ok?

Some people would read that and immediately quit reading. To them going to a church of another denomination is just under being in a strip club. But I wonder if this really is something we should push off so quickly or is it an issue that requires a bit more thought. I’ll begin with my experience today.

I’ve been attending this same church for almost two months. Many songs were the same as my former church and I really enjoyed the variety of styles and the freedom of expression. The series the pastor was on was nothing controversial across Bible-believing denominations. I enjoyed it. He may have used a few more experience illustrations than former pastors I had but he mainly stuck to the Bible and even went into the Greek. However, following Easter, the pastor began a series on the Holy Spirit. I knew we would disagree on this. Inside I was all tensed up and ready to find everything that was wrong, forcing me to a different church. This was not the case. The main emphasis throughout the series has been to look to God, spend time with God and realize that we serve the same powerful God today who was there in Acts. Those are things with which all Bible-believing Christians can agree.

Were there points of disagreement? Certainly. He has mentioned several times about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I believe one gets the whole Holy Spirit at salvation. He interprets it a little differently. Though much of what the pastor said I did agree with. I agree that we need to be controlled by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). We must not allow the world, lusts and sin to control our hearts and lives but allow the Holy Spirit to do this. The pastor here may think that means some special baptism. I believe it simply means surrender to Him. It’s not a really big deal to me as long as you are giving yourself over to God.

Another aspect of disagreement is that of speaking in tongues. My slightly more liberal Baptist view and the churches more conservative Assembly of God application probably helps on this one. Today in service a lady “spoke in tongues” and another lady “interpreted”. This is not the norm in this church. Anytime I have seen a tongues display in other churches, it was a bunch of people all speaking at the same time. It was chaotic and confusing to me. This was different. Putting aside whether woman should do this or not, another matter of disagreement, it was done in an orderly way. The pastor stopped what he was about to do and the lady spoke. Then another lady in the balcony interpreted. The lady who interpreted said nothing that opposed the Bible. It was mostly statements of glory to God

Could it have been staged? Possibly. I don’t know and I have gathered that these people love the Lord so I wouldn’t think so. It could be a learned behavior. It was the topic of the series and been talked about and they have been surrounded by it so it is natural for the mind to jump into it. I think much of what is called “speaking in tongues” is simply a learned way of worship. It could be a learned reaction to an encounter, much like lifting hands when singing or shouting for your driver at a race.

My belief is that speaking in tongues is a language on earth which someone who has not studied it speaks that language through the Holy Spirit’s power so one who speaks that language can understand God’s Word in their own tongue (Acts 2). I do not believe every believer is supposed to speak in tongues and I believe it is more a rarity today because there is less of a need for it. Many Baptists would say it is completely non-existent today. Could that lady have been speaking a known language or tongue? Perhaps. I would not know. I would simply say that if a church had speaking in another tongue or language then the way this church did it today would be the orderly way to do it (1 Corinthians 14).

(For more on tongues: https://www.gotquestions.org/praying-in-tongues.html)

So after today, should I still gather for worship with these people? Are our differences enough to separate us? My answer at this point would be, “It’s up to them”. Honestly, why should I leave? Because I don’t completely agree with every person on every point of Biblical interpretation? Really? Let’s look at the main points of difference:

1) Speaking in Tongues. We basically covered this. Perhaps if it was a chaotic, non-edifying self-promotion, then I would need to go elsewhere, but it is not. And I gave my view on speaking in tongues. I pastored at a church for 17 years where most would have said that this gift is has been eradicated since the completion of the Bible. Should I have left there? It honestly was never an issue and when it came up, I discerned whether it was a time to be quiet or to present various options.

2) Baptism of the Spirit. I talked of this. It seems more about surrender to God, which we can all agree is important.

3) Women Pastors. I haven’t really encountered it much here in two months, but I would assume we disagree. Typically the Assembly of God church endorses women pastors and Baptist churches do not. Biblically, I think that God has reserved that place for a man. However, many churches put the term ‘pastor’ in front of every conceivable position. I think the main idea is for men to step up and take the lead. Currently, that’s happening in this church. If that changed then I may have to reconsider, but I’m good with the men stepping up and being godly leaders in this church.

4) Election. I’m sure we both agree that Jesus is the only way, but may not agree on whether God chose us or we chose Him. Not even all Baptists agree on this one.

In fact, there are other points I’m certain I would disagree with some people in this church and the one I was in: end times, single pastors, alcohol consumption, tattoos, age of the earth, politics, etc. There will always be points of disagreement. What we need is discernment and a diligent seeking of the Scriptures for ourselves, much like the Bereans (Acts 17:11).

I think we separate far too easily. Neither you nor I will ever find a gathering of believers that we completely agree with on everything. The New Testament talks over and over again about unity and different parts of the body coming together. I honestly think we separate more based on one’s personality being more or less emotional than our own then we do on actual issues. Or we’re more concerned if someone believes Jesus will come back before or after the Tribulation or whether they believe in the millennium then whether they love the Lord. What is more important? I have just a few things that are more important:

1) Love of God. Does this assembly of believers truly love the Lord? Do they worship Him and talk of Him outside this building? Is He more important than their culture, their family and their lives? (Luke 14:26, Matthew 22:37)

2) Love of others. Do they care for each other? Do they help those in need? Is this a church that actively helps others or just talks about those who need help? Will they help the repentant sinner or make him an example? (John 13:34, 2 Corinthians 2:7-8, James 1:27)

3) Stick to the Scripture. I’m not saying, “Do they agree with you?” Certainly on salvation and who Jesus is and the authority of the Bible; but on the lesser areas, do they encourage discussion and desire for everyone to truly dig into the Scriptures. (Acts 17:11, Psalm 119)

4) Do they detest sin. This ties into the previous one. There are things to discuss and we must be compassionate, but if one is unrepentant of sin do they tolerate it? Is fornication ok in their congregation? Are they conforming to the world or being transformed by God? (Psalm 97:10, James 1:27)

I guess I say all of that to say, “Why not gather with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who love God and others and seek to follow His Word?” We may not agree on all areas….if we did then should ask if we are truly being stretched and growing. But we do agree that “Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and that no one comes to God the Father except through Him.” (John 14:6)

I want to end with a note about my last church and this church. I am thankful for both churches accepting me as I am and loving me enough to take me further. I’m thankful for both churches that allowing me to grow in Christ with my questions and thoughts and differences. I’m thankful that both churches (even the Baptist one) have allowed me to be openly expressive in worship through lifting my hands. I am thankful I could get to know some very brilliant people in each denomination, whom I can respect and hear their opinions and know that they aren’t just coming to that conclusion because they grew up that way or someone said so, but because they diligently searched the Scriptures. I’m thankful that each church has been so giving to me and many others. Their hearts beating for others is lived out, not just talked about. And I’m thankful they truly love the Lord. That is what is most important. It will change their lives and many others. Thank-you both for being two groups of believers in Jesus Christ, though you differ in some areas of theology; you can both still worship together as one body glorifying the same God. I look forward to the day when I can introduce you to one another as we sing in unison, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord!”

Be immersed in a Bible-believing church so that you can call them family and friends.

“Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt His Name together.” Psalm 34:3

#Assembly #Baptist #denominations #worship

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