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Some extra thoughts...

I have some random extra details I would like to talk about that aren’t worth a blog post each, so here are some fun little details that I have been thinking about!

INT vs EXT

An interesting aspect of the script and the location was the contrast between the vast beautiful expanse of the outdoors and the cramped closeness of the caravan. One of the main reasons for suggesting to Katie that we set the film on a group holiday was because of this ‘trapped together’ sense that is created when you are away with your friends, and I really want to lean into this. There should be a distinct contrast between this feeling of freedom and openness and this crushing close proximity. This also comes into play with the confrontation scene being set in the woods.

The best way to describe this in terms of scenes is that as the night grows slightly darker in tone, and then after the assault happens, we move from exterior to interior locations, trapping Phoebe. We then move to the forest for the confrontation scene. This resembles Phoebe’s attempt to escape back to the freedom from before, however she cannot do this until she has faced Harry and let her hurt be known to him. She then has to face Sara inside the caravan once more before she can reach the true freedom of the loch, where we return to wider shots and vast spaces.

Shifting from Memory to Reality

Something I want to explore in Saint Catherines is how to effectively shift quite drastically in tone, whilst keeping a consistent style. I see the film in two halves, pre-assault and post-assault. Pre-assault, the film should have a memory-like feel to it, specifically Scene 2 and 3. There should be an almost dream-like quality to the free-flowing nature of these scenes. They should not be linear, and should just be montages of individual moments, in the same wat one remembers fond holiday memories. The colours should be warmer and more saturated, and the sounds should follow the edit in their free-flowing nature and fast paced fullness.

The shift in tone should he felt at first between Scene 3 and 4, but only slightly, and should be felt strongly between 4 and 5. Scene 4 is when the film follows a more linear pattern again, and lighting should return to a less saturated ‘normal’, and the sound should level out and calm down, focusing more on specifics. Scene 5 will complete the tonal shift by being just one shot of an isolated Phoebe, surrounded by silence and darkness. This move over these few scenes from fast paced energy and fun to a single quiet shot should hopefully communicate to the audience where the film is going from this point on.

To keep a consistent style, I plan on ensuring that the film still has a naturalistic feel to it, primarily through having every shot handheld. Through the cinematography remaining consistent, it allows for a drastic shift in tone without losing the primary style of the film.

Also, the help me visualise this idea of memory, I looked through my own photos of fun times with my friends to create a sort of 'vibes folder'. It was more of just a fun way to wast time but oh well!

360-Degree Set

I was listening to an interview with Mia McKenna Bruce talking about her experiences filming How to Have Sex (our fave inspiration film) and she mentioned a concept I hadn’t really heard of before: a 360-degree set. She explained that a lot of the rooms and spaces the girls were in were fully dressed sets, with props and things to interact with hidden in cupboards and placed all over the set. This meant during takes, the actors could interact with any part of the room that felt natural. There was mascara wands in the drawers, empty noodle pots in the sink. I loved this idea, and thought it would be great to try and incorporate into Saint Catherines to aid the actors with their performances. Lucky for us, the caravan we are filming in is already full of stuff for us to use, it is a natural 360-degree set!

( the 360-degree set in use)

#film project

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Saint Catherines Bible

Last year when directing The Performance I filled a binder full of notes and script annotations so that I had all my thoughts written down and ready to use. With so much going on when on set, I was worried that someone would ask me a question and I would fail to have an answer or a reasoning behind what we were doing. What I found was that if I did need to check my notes, it was always just to reinforce what I was already thinking, a sort of back-up for myself. On set, this bright pink binder was labelled The Bible.

So, I of course made one for Saint Catherines (although not bright pink this time...). Most people probably can't read my handwriting but oh well, I know what it means!

#film project

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Creating Connection - Saint Catherines Rehearsals

As is the way of life, I did not end up having as much rehearsal time with the actors as I would have liked to have prior to the shoot. I managed an individual rehearsal with each actor, a group rehearsal with Claire, Millie, and Fraser, and a second group rehearsal with Claire and Amy. In an ideal world, the actors would have all met as a group beforehand, however we managed as best we could!

In the individual rehearsals, we focused on discussing the character and their relation to the story. I was aware that in my previous directing, I had done a lot of talking, laying things out precisely for actors. This I feel minimises the potential of an actors performance and individual contribution to the characters, so I tried to really make my directing in rehearsals more discussion based.

My rehearsal with Claire was relaxed and we had some great conversations about the changes made to the story and character from the test shoot to the final script. She really liked that Phoebe was more driven and purposeful in the final script, which was great to hear. We talked about Phoebe’s relationships with the other characters as well as the motivation and thought processes of her character. I specifically mentioned what I have labelled a “The Three Phoebes”: enthusiastic Phoebe, watchful Phoebe, and driven Phoebe. These loosely describe the overall arc she goes through and gave a base for us to work from.

My rehearsal with Millie was also quite relaxed, as she is an old friend of mine and we spent a lot of time just catching up in between discussing the character and the story. I needed to work more with Millie in regard to story and character background as she had no previous knowledge of the project like Claire did. In the photos attached you can see some of the points we discussed! I think one of the most interesting things we developed was part of Sara’s background. We agreed that when she was younger, she had gone through a similar sexual assault at a party, and had been brushing off what had happened as just a silly situation. This is part of the motivation as to why she struggles to support Phoebe in Saint Catherines, as she refuses to face what happened to her. It is important to me that I understand all the characters, even if I disagree with their actions. I still need to be able to try and enter their head space and to like them as people.

This was especially important when working with Fraser in our development of Harry. I have spent months joking about what an arsehole he is, but I had to put this to the side and really begin to like and understand him. There was a huge risk of him coming off as a caricature of a shitty man, and this was something Fraser and I discussed in depth to ensure he was well-rounded. The rehearsal with Fraser went really well, however was slightly more formal than the previous two as this was my first time meeting him. Thankfully he turned out to be lovely, and we had some great conversations about the story and what he can bring to it (notes from rehearsal below).

Last but not least, Amy. This was also my first time meeting her, and I was over the moon when I realised she is so similar to the character of Jo! They have basically the same wardrobe. This rehearsal followed a similar structure to the others, focusing a lot on Jo’s emotional maturity and how that impacts her relationship with the others.

The structure for the group rehearsal was also very discussion based, and we barely touched on the project at all. My aim for this was to allow the actors to get to know each other as people first, and to build up a genuine connection. To do this, we started with some basic introductions, before moving onto some more specific questions. The questions started off simple, asking about favourite films etc, and became more intense as we went on, asking about regrets, crying, being let down etc. The full list is also pictured below. Each question does relate to the story in some way, so that the emotions brought up in our discussion could be used in the scenes. I found this to be an extremely successful rehearsal, running an hour over schedule as the conversation kept going and going. By creating such an open and comfortable space, the actors were able to share and therefore connect over their experiences. I also answered each of the questions to ensure that there was no weird power dynamic in the room, and to put myself in the same vulnerable positions. At the end of the rehearsal I asked the actors to think about the questions in character, and to work on some answers to keep to themselves.

The second group rehearsal was just Claire and Amy, and I went down a bit of a different route here. I still asked Amy to think about the list of questions for herself and for Jo, but I took both of them out into Morningside and we went round some of the charity shops. I told them to each pick a few things they thought that their characters would wear. This created a relaxed environment for Claire and Amy to get to know each other as friends, whilst also exploring and discussing their characters.

Overall, although I did not get as much rehearsal time as I would have liked, I a really happy with how the rehearsals went and think they yielded great results in the final film.

Phoebe Rehearsal

Sara Rehearsal

Jo Rehearsal (unfinished notes)

Harry Rehearsal

Group Rehearsal

#film project

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Lighting with Caldow and Cox

On Friday I had a mega meeting Katie and Alex (who is gaffing) were we went through each scene and discussed how to light it, and then created a kit list from this. The meeting probably would have been shorter if we only talked about lighting, but we ended up also spending a lot of time talking about and planning some of the shots. It was great to have Alex to bounce ideas off of, as he has a lot of knowledge and was extremely helpful! So massive thank you Mr Caldow!!

In preparation for the meeting, I created some mood/lighting inspiration/shot inspiration boards to help visualise what was in my brain. A few days before, Alex had suggested I look at how the show Normal People is filmed and lit, and my god he was bang on. I made the most of my ShotDeck free trial by downloading around 70 stills from Normal People (I have yet to even watch it…) These really helped give me ideas for each scene and helped me communicate my thoughts to Alex and Katie.

Scene 1 and 2

Scene 3/4

Scene 5

Scene 6

Scene 7

Scene 8

Scene 9

Scene 10

Scene 11

#final project

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We Have a Cast!

Something important to me from the start of this project has been improving my ability directing actors. In tandem with this, Saint Catherines is a project that needs rehearsal time. I want the friendship group to feel real, I want them to have inside jokes and stories as if they have known each other for a while. So casting as soon as possible was a big priority!

After some discussions with Katie and Jack, we were decided on Claire Cassidy as Phoebe and Millie Walker as Sara. Claire was great in the test shoot and I felt she had a lot more to bring to the role, and Millie is someone I have worked with for a long time, and I believe she is a very talented actor.

That left us with Jo and Harry. I created two casting calls and sent them out into the world, and we had a lot of applications which was great! I asked Katie to write a monologue for each character so we could request self-tapes from the actors. As well as this, I wrote up a brief overview of the story, and a short character bio for Jo and for Harry. I tried to ensure that the bio was unrelated to the events of the film, trying to get across what kind of person the character is out with the confines of the story. We had over 20 self-tapes for Jo, and about half that number for Harry! I created a short-list and reviewed these with Jack, and we then created a Top 3, which became a number one choice and a backup. In an ideal world, we could have hosted in person auditions with chemistry tests etc, but the reality was, we didn’t have time. I am super happy with the choice of casting however, and I have created a rehearsal schedule to try and maximise the casts time with each other and myself. Exciting!

(Happy co-producers with a cast!)

Here is what I sent in addition the monologues for the self-tape.

Project Brief

This film is a short drama that explores the intricacies of sexual assault within a friendship group. We join four friends (Phoebe, Harry, Jo, and Sara) on a caravan holiday in the small Scottish village of St Catherines. After a drunken game of cards ending in Harry spilling beer over Phoebe, Phoebe leaves the caravan and Harry follows. The rest of the film focuses on Phoebe trying to process Harry’s sexual assault of her outside the caravan.

I intend to explore the isolation experienced by survivors of sexual assault in this film, and to show the importance of connection and support. The film will have a grounded and realistic feel to it, reinforced by the performances of the four characters.

Some Notes on Jo

Jo is one of those people who can make you laugh so hard your sides hurt, and they seem to do it flawlessly. This sense of humour comes from their want to be liked by others. They are kind and funny because they worry that if they are not, they will be rejected and cast out. Growing up their father left them and their younger sister, who Jo was left with a lot of responsibility for. Sometimes Jo wishes that they could be less kind and embrace a more confrontational side to stand up for what they believe and want.

Some Notes on Harry

Harry Wakefield wants to be listened to. He needs to be listened to. Growing up with four older brothers means he has always had to fight for his space on the podium. He feels life has given him an unfair hand (despite being Mummy and Daddy’s little boy), so he strives to make every situation exciting. He is charismatic, an air of confidence surrounds him from the way he dresses to how he walks and talks. Now that he is independent from his patronising brothers’, he can finally focus on staying ahead, being motivated by his want for social validation.

And introducing...

Claire Cassidy as Phoebe!

Millie Walker as Sara!

Fraser Kennedy as Harry!

Amy Mackie as Jo!

#film project

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The Brovanova Trilogy

To my absolute joy, the wonderful composer Arina Brovanova has agreed to work on Saint Catherines! I have worked with Arina twice before, the first time for The Last Landscape in 2nd year, and the second time being for The Performance in 3rd year. Saint Catherines ties it all together into a little musical trilogy!

Music is something I had struggled to hear when imagining the film, which frustrated me as usually I can easily tell where score would enhance a scene. I soon came to realise that maybe this film didn’t need score. We are going for such a naturalistic feel, that to have a score impose on that it could take away from the authentic feeling in each scene. I did however feel that there should be music over the credits.

Arina and I had a call on Sunday the 11th of February to discuss the project and how music could aid it, and she had some great ideas! She suggested writing a song for the film and enlisting the help of her friend who had experience with sexual assault, which I thought was a beautiful idea as there are a few aspects of the film that have been taken from real life examples. We also talked about the use of diegetic music, and if there were scenes in which music could be playing for the characters. I was open to this idea, especially for the drinking scene which would naturally fit with music. I also suggested she experiment with some very simple chord progressions that could be placed over the scenes at the beach (the scene of the group playing and the scene of Phoebe swimming).

After the call I sent over the script and a playlist that Katie and I created in the summer that captured the ‘vibe’ at the end of the film. Overall it was a great discussion, and I am so happy to be working with Arina to use music in the film!

#film project #Spotify

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Katie and Orla Explore the Cafes of Edinburgh

(and do important film work)

It has been a tradition since last semester that Katie and I have our meetings in a cosy little café, and that each week we try a different one! Some would say this is a waste of money, which my bank account would agree with, but I take my hot chocolate reviewing very seriously!

Really though, we have had some very productive and insightful meetings over the last few weeks. We focused a lot on the script, which has been through many changes to get to where it is now, and I am really happy with how Katie has improved what was already a fairly good script! I found these meetings to be really helpful, as it is so important for me to know the story inside and out and to understand the characters and their motivations in each scene. It has been an interesting challenge working with a writer, as I am used to having full creative control over the story. Taking a step back has allowed me to see things that Katie may have missed, or to suggest things that she thought of differently. Being involved in the writing process has allowed me to understand the story as if I had written it, whilst giving me the time too focus on the other elements of directing and producing (more on this in another post).

During our café meetings, I did try to move away from story and towards visuals, as Katie is also cinematographer. It was hard to go through the script and discuss the visual elements of each scene as we kept drifting back over to structure and plot! However from our discussions we did manage to go through each scene and create a vague idea of a storyboard and shot list just through chatting it through and talking about the intention of each scene, and what each shot can bring to the overall meaning. These ‘storyboards’ were not physical, they were purely in our imaginations, which is why I am so excited to now have a locked off script and some actual storyboards to work from!

The main purpose of this post was just to say that I am so grateful to be working with Katie, as I feel we are always on the same page, and our communication with each other is incredibly strong. I feel we have a shared vision and aim for this film, and that is partly due to the success of our little café dates. 😊

#film project

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Location Location Location!!!

On Wednesday the 7th of February we finally got a chance to visit our filming location! Katie, Jack and I set off with Peer as our trusty driver. For once the weather was on our side, and it was bright blue winter skies the whole way there! Of course when we arrived it began heavily snowing… but that soon cleared up and we were able to fully explore our exterior locations. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get access inside the caravan, however I have created a floor plan and found videos online of inside the same model to give the crew an idea of what we are dealing with.

It was extremely helpful to begin thinking about how we are actually going to film Saint Catherines. We began by trying to block and frame the first scene, and immediately ran into some issues. For some reason, we just could not figure out how to do it.  I think I found this quite disheartening to begin with, but we moved on to trying to find a good location for the confrontation scene between Harry and Phoebe. (Since then, Katie and I have storyboarded and figured out the first scene)! We tried a grassy/wooded patch next to the caravan first, which was really beautiful, however I couldn’t help but notice Peer’s face as he listened through the headphones. We were right next to a particularly loud stream, and as a fellow sound girly, I made the call that we should move away. Even if the idea having some nice water sounds was cool, the practicality of this was a nightmare for sound – clan dialogue would have been impossible.

(Peer's unhappy sound face)

I ventured off in search of somewhere else. Just behind the caravan site, I could see there was a sloped wooded area. To my dismay it was fenced off… until I spotted a small metal gate! I have emailed the council to clarify who owns this land as we don’t have permission to use it yet, however it felt perfect for the scene. I could clearly see the blocking and camera movements of the scene, and I am excited about using the slope to our advantage when playing with the push and pull of the power dynamics in the scene. Katie and I had a great discussion about what shots would be in the scene and, as always, I felt we were on the same page.

We then went down to the loch, which was gorgeous. We are in the midst of getting permission to shoot on the beach (owned by the Crown Estate) and on the old stone jetty (owned by the council). It took some more experimenting to figure out what scenes to film where, as originally we had thought about the swimming scene being from the long dramatic jetty. However, from a practicality standpoint, this doesn’t work and was honestly a bit of a safety hazard. We decided it made the most sense to have Phoebe enter the loch from the beach, and that we could use the end of the jetty (closest to the beach) for the final scene with Jo and Phoebe. We then did a sort of camera test for the second scene in the film, which is the group running around playing on the beach. This was so fun, and the test shot was adorable and really helped me to visualise the scene and the style of the whole first act of the film.

Finally, we returned to the caravan and tried to figure out Scene 6, which takes place the morning after the assault. Originally, it was set outside, however as we tried to visualise it and discussed it more, we realised it made way more sense to set it in the living room of the caravan. This benefits everyone, allowing sound to get cleaner takes, allowing camera more control over lighting, and most importantly, we can all be in the warm instead of out in the cold. For the story it also made way more sense for the characters to be inside.

After this we hopped back in the car for the long journey home (with of course a sweet treat stop on the way). I think the recce was really successful, not just because we had a lovely time, but because it really helped me to move away from focusing on just the story, allowing me to think about the film as a real physical thing that we are going to have to film (crazy right)?!

#film project #Instagram

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Final Year Project - Yay Cinema!

Happy New Year! Welcome to our last first week! I spent the festive period doing a lot of thinking about films, specifically Saint Catherines, and also watching a lot of films. I am feeling officially inspired and excited about making our films this semester and I am really looking forward to hitting the ground running. It is a really lovely feeling to be honest. This time last year I was at my peak “I don’t think I want to make films” spiral, and it feels like a very full circle moment to now be this hyped about cinema! 😊

We had our first big group meeting yesterday (15/01) which I thought went well and was a nice way too start the semester as a cohesive unit. The discussion had a light structure, but we jumped about a lot as everyone has a lot of thoughts and questions, which was great! I talked mainly about my reflections from the test shoot and my aims going forward:

Reflections

What went well?

- we worked really well together despite challenges such as rain and changing actors halfway through the shoot.

- the final result of the test shoot achieved a basic goal of allowing us to learn how we work together and we produced a fine film

- I am pleased with how I worked with the actors

What could be better?

- need a more solid production/post production schedule

- I need and want to work closer with camera before shooting and on set

- I need to solidify the focus on Phoebe

- I need to solidify the style of filming

Some Brief Thoughts on Aim and Tone Going Forward

The aim of this film, for me, is to portray a realistic and raw experience of the complicated experiences of sexual assault.

As well as this, I want the audience to be able to feel what the characters are feeling, specifically Phoebe. I want the holiday they are on to feel like a memory everyone has, I want the characters to feel like real people that the audience know. For this film to have the emotional impact we want to achieve, it needs to feel authentic. There is definitely room for us to explore nostalgia and memory and how these can link to hurt and trauma. I’d like to focus on how my directing can highlight these aspects of the film. An example I thought of was Aftersun (a film student favourite). When I first watched it, I felt an aching sense of nostalgia in every scene. To quote my Letterboxd review, “Paul Mescal isn’t my dad and I have never been to Turkey, but I am in this film.” I felt like the experiences in Aftersun, from the feel of the tablecloth at the restaurant to the noises of the video camera, were experiences I had lived. This allowed me to connect with the characters and their environment even though it was a story I had not lived. Basically, the small details created a big connection. I want to work closely with Aimee on the production design to see how we can do this, along with every department.

Confirmation of POV

I want to quickly talk about and confirm the point of view of the film. I think I have rambled on a lot about the idea of this ‘5th friend’ who represents the audience member, which I think confused some people, and to be honest, it also confuses the emotion of the film. I’m not throwing the whole thing out the window, just redefining what I mean by it.

The film is from an observer’s point of view. However, this is an observer of Phoebe. Whilst being part of this larger group, we are focused in on what Phoebe is feeling, seeing, and experiencing. I think this maximises the emotional impact of the film and ensures the audience understands who to care for the most. I don’t want to risk the film having an ambivalent stance on sexual assault. This was something that became clear in the test shoot. We use a lot of shots of Harry, and that is because we had better coverage of him, and because I liked his reactions and performance. However, this muddles the intention of the film. We should always be focused on Phoebe’s reactions. Yes we can cut away to Harry at times, but Phoebe should dominate the screentime.

An example of this is in Priscilla which I watched over the holidays. There is never any doubt that the film is about her story, despite Elvis Presley being a character. This is achieved by always focusing on her actions and reactions, like in a dinner party scene when the camera never leaves Priscilla’s face, despite all the noise and events happening around her. We just get a sense of her emotion in the scene, the other stuff doesn’t matter.

How To Have Sex

Another film I watched over Christmas was the astonishing How to Have Sex. This film is an essential watch for everyone, but especially the crew of Saint Catherines. Peer and Katie have also seen it already, but I have given out my Mubi account for the rest of the team to watch it. There are so many aspects of this film that we can use as inspiration. It simultaneously inspired me and broke me. One small detail I liked about the film (among many) was one way tension was built. During some of the scenes post-assault, the shots ever-so-slowly push in. This was barely noticeable, however created a very effective sense of dread. It is definitely something Katie and I will be experimenting with! I won’t go on about the film, but I do strongly encourage everyone to watch it.

Next Steps…

There is a lot to do!!!!!!!! I am co-producing the project with Jack, which I am comfortable with and glad of as I do enjoy producing (perhaps I am just a control freak). I have created a wonderful colour-coded spreadsheet that details our meeting plans for each HoD. I aim to host a group meeting fortnightly, and to see each HoD individually at the very least fortnightly, but will be meeting with Katie and Jack weekly. We have set u our Instagram and an email, but are yet to post anything. We are planning to do a location recce at the end of January, and to do a crew photo shoot asap, along with casting calls. The wheels are turning!

As I mentioned at the start of this post, I am very excited to work hard on this film. Also terrified about finishing uni very very soon. But that’s a problem for later. Right now, it’s just cinema! <3

#final project

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Saint Catherines Test Shoot 14/11/23

Yesterday we successfully filmed the test shoot for Saint Catherines! I’ll save some of the detail for my reflective report, but this post is a more fun run down of the day.

Leading up to the shoot, we were informed that Claire (actor cast as Phoebe) could only stay till 12pm on the day due to her getting a job (which is genuinely so great for her)! Instead of freaking out, I reorganised the shooting schedule so that we would film all of Phoebe’s shots in the morning. This made things quite tight, but still more than doable. This positive, no stress mindset was what I carried forward for the shoot itself.

I was aware that everyone is very busy right now, with that little thing called a dissertation looming on the horizon (a month today!!!!!!!!!) and other test shoots, so I wanted to ensure that the crew had a good time on set. I strongly believe that a good set makes a good film. After everyone arrived on set (call time 8am) we had a quick team huddle were I tried to set this tone. I emphasised that this is only a test shoot, and that if anything goes wrong, it doesn’t matter, as long as we learn from it. I was very grateful to have such a strong team, and I think everyone worked extremely well together. And this was despite the torrential downpour of rain that soaked us for the first half of the shoot!

Whilst the crew set up outside, I worked with Claire and Alex inside for a bit to refresh all our memories of the script, the characters, and the emotional journey we wanted to convey. We began with a quick Meisner warm up (see my last post) before doing our first read through. The read through went well, and we did it a few times, and I gave notes and some more context each time. I had actioned each line and annotated the script with my own thoughts, but I didn’t reveal these straight away. With my directing, I want to leave space for the natural reactions of the actors to shine. By micro-managing their performances straight away, it strips the authenticity. After a few read throughs, we went through the blocking of the scene, and I explained that the blocking was to reflect the shifting power dynamics. I had changed it slightly form the original blocking due to Claire having to leave early. Once we all felt happy, we headed outside to try it in the location.

I was concerned that during the set up time, Claire and Alex would have too long between our rehearsals and shooting to hold onto the emotions we pulled out. I decided to do an individual exercise with both of them to combat this. I took Claire aside first, and talked her through some meditation. The aim of this meditation was to relax her and clear her head, before focusing in on anger and injustice (her own words when describing Phoebe’s emotions). I did the same with Alex, however the emotions we focused in on were anger and guilt. Whilst a bit experimental, both actors enjoyed the exercise, and it is something I want to practice and perfect in the future.

We shot the master first. It was pouring it down, and I was a bit concerned that if it got any worse we might have to call off the shoot, but everyone persevered. I won’t go into detail about each hour of the shoot, but the first half felt a bit more stressful than the second due to the strict time limit. After each take I checked in with each department, and I always gave notes to Claire and Alex. Both were superb. We had to merge two shots together as we overran by quite a bit for the first shot, but I feel we still have enough footage to make it work. During lunch, Jack (fabulous First AD) extended our break by 10 mins. I felt this was a great call as everyone needed the time to warm up and relax. It meant we entered the second half of the shoot with energy and enthusiasm, and powered through the rest of it, having time for extra shots! To replace Claire, we had the lovely Aimee (a friend of Jacks) who I had worked with once in the past. During the break I did a speed run version of what I had done with Claire the previous week, and we also went through the blocking with Alex whilst the crew set up. Aimee was also a great Phoebe, bringing more assertiveness to the first half of the script. It was interesting to see two separate actors treat the same material. Aimee was never on screen, aside from her arm in one shot to establish that Phoebe was now infringing on Harry’s space as the dynamic shifted. This meant Alex had someone to act with for all of his shots, rather than having to act off a tree. We wrapped sometime around 3pm, and everyone seemed really happy 😊

I think I would have liked to spend more time with the camera team, especially Katie (DOP). I felt I somewhat left them to their own devices, and as we didn’t have a monitor, I just trusted what they were doing. Maybe not great directing on my part, but I really did trust the team and what they were shooting. For the main shoot next semester, Katie and I will do way more prep and I would like to be more involved with camera.

That was quite a brief run through of the day, so to summarise: soggy but fun!

Thanks a billion to our excellent crew, you are all the best xxx

(also a shout out to the second years Sam and Monica who also worked on The Performance last semester – an absolute joy to have on set and invaluable to the production)

(also… Ben McMorran for taking all the gorgeous BTS)!

#film project

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Film Diary #3

In the Blink of an Eye – dir. Kiana Naghshineh

TW: Rape

In this animated short the audience switches between the survivor’s point of view and the attacker’s point of view as the attacker pounces on the survivor in a dark street. I thought the way the attack was animated was very engaging and creative, making the most of the animation artform. My main take aways were how violent the attack was on both sides, as the survivor fought back hard. This film also used water as if the survivor was drowning/going under/struggling to stay afloat. Towards the end she is in a bath looking at the bruises on her body is the calmest moment of the film. The way water is used in this film relates to how we will use the loch in our film.

Champ – dir. Hannah Peterson

I loved this short film! It’s the story of a group of 4 girls who play basketball together and are best friends. After practice, one of them tells the others, in a ‘trying to be laidback’ way that their coach had assaulted her. The friends in support then go over to the coach’s house and vandalise it. The film was a beautiful portrayal of friendship, and the performance from the ain actor was incredible. It was clear that she was deeply affected by what happened without her having to say anything. Her facial expressions told the story. I also really liked the way it was filmed!

I May Destroy You – dir. Micaela Coel

TW: Rape and Sexual Assault

This TV show is an essential watch for everyone. I watched it for the first time when it came out a few years ago, and I appreciated it all the more second time around. It explores sexual assault in a very honest way, and all the characters feel so real and react in such genuine ways. There is also a scene where the main character walks into the sea, and listening to Micaela Coel analyse the scene gave me so much inspiration for our own swimming scene. The end of the show is also similar in some sense to the end of our film (SPOILERS AHEAD)! Nothing happens. The rapist is not arrested. Arabella doesn’t ever get the satisfaction of justice. Life just continues on, and she has to live with it.

Thelma and Louise – dir Ridley Scott

TW: Sexual Assault

What a wonderful film about female friendship! I was ashamed to admit to Katie that I hadn’t seen this yet, and I am so glad she shamed me into watching it. Whilst it does deal with sexual assault quite near the beginning of the film, it is definitely not about that specifically. It feels much more focused on… well it’s in the title… Thelma and Louise. Their chracters were brave and bold and full of life and they had such a strong connection no matter what. I just loved it 😊

#film project #Vimeo

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Test Shoot - Actor Rehearsal

I just finished my first rehearsal with the two actors (Claire and Alex) who will be acting in the test shoot next week, and I am BUZZING!!!

Firstly I should say they were both so lovely to work with. I have known Claire for a while now but this was my first time meeting Alex, and what a great first impression.

I began our session by doing some basic introductions. Who are you? Where are you from? What do you currently do in life? What got you into acting/directing? This was a very open chill discussion that I hoped would make everyone feel more comfortable with each other. I then talked for a bit about what the test shoot actually was/what was the purpose of it to give them some context before I began to explain the overall film. I gave a brief overview of what the film was about and what the main themes explored were. They had both read the script already so that saved me having to give a synopsis of plot and I could focus on what it is actually about. I also tried to make it clear that because we are dealing with the sensitive subject of sexual assault, that if they ever felt uncomfortable then we would stop, no matter what. Health should always be the priority. I then talked through the specific scene (referred to as the conflict scene) before giving an in depth description of the characters. This part of the session did feel quite like me just talking, so I tried to always ask if anyone had any comments or questions to ensure Claire and Alex felt involved in the imagining of these characters and the scene.

After this, we did a short written exercise. I asked Claire and Alex to think about and name two emotions that their characters felt at the start of the scene, and to track the emotional journey until the end, where they had to name the two ending emotions. Along with this, I asked them to try to tie one of these emotions to a time in their own lives were they had felt similarly. I emphasised that it did not have to be as specific as the situation in the script, it could be unrelated completely, as long as the same emotion was present. I am cautious when directing this film that I cannot and should not ask actors to relive any of their own potentially triggering experiences. If they feel this is something they want to do or can do, then that is up to them. I never want to push this on them.

After a few minutes of silence, I got Claire and Alex to share the emotions they had written and why they had chosen them. I said that they did not have to share their personal experience if they didn’t want too as well. Claire had written that Phoebe was ‘nervous’ and ‘determined’ at the start of the scene, and by the end she felt ‘anger’ and ‘injustice’. Claire talked about the anger she feels when she is not being believed by someone or when she feels a personal injustice has taken place, and how she often has to cry when she feels like this. Alex wrote that Harry felt “ignorance” and “content” at the start, and “anger” and “guilt” by the end. Alex didn’t share his own experience, however he did discuss the difference between the anger Phoebe was feeling and the anger Harry was feeling (Harry’s anger being driven by the guilt, as he does know that what Phoebe is saying is somewhat true). I liked this small exercise, although in reflection, Alex saying Harry feels ignorant is maybe more what Harry is from an outsider’s perspective, as he would not feel ignorant himself.

We then moved onto a more practical exercise. I took what I have learned about the Meisner technique of directing and adapted it slightly to fit what I wanted to achieve. The aim of the ‘repetition technique’ is to track the emotional journey of a scene using only a short phrase repeated. The tone, emotion and intensity of the phrase delivery can change, but the scene should not be blocked and dialogue should not be used. This is to focus on the underlying emotions of the scene, and it is about reaction and spontaneity.

We did the exercise three times:

1) I asked Claire and Alex to sit directly across from each other, around a metre and a half apart. I assigned each a phrase: Claire “I don’t like you” and Alex “I like you”. Whilst looking at each other, they had to repeat their phrase, reacting to each other and tracing the emotional journey of the conflict scene until I stopped it or it felt like it came to a natural end. This first try was effective as they were able to get more comfortable with each other and the emotions, however it still felt slightly forced and I had to stop it eventually, meaning it didn’t feel like it came to a natural end.

2) The second time, I asked Alex to stand up and Claire to stay seated. I explained that the power balance shifts constantly in this scene, and I wanted them to do the same as before, but this time standing up and sitting down when they felt they were gaining power/losing power. They could also both be standing or both be sitting. This round was better than the last, I really felt the emotional push and pull between the two and it did come to a natural finish. However we all agreed that we felt the emotional journey of the scene went on too long and ended up repeating.

3) This was the strongest time. I asked Alex and Claire to stand slightly apart in the centre of the room, facing each other. Each time they said a line, they had to either take a step towards the other or back from the other. This was to mimic, again, the power balance, but also the ebb and flow of the relationship between the two, and to try and showcase a stripped back version of the blocking for the scene. Claire and Alex really found their rhythm and experimented with how they could use their steps, and how they could use their lines. It came to a very natural end, where both of them decided at the same time (as well as me) that the scene was over. This was an incredibly insightful exercise for both them and me and I really enjoyed directing it.

We wrapped up after this! I didn’t want to go over the exact blocking or the dialogue as they didn’t know the lines yet, and also because I want it to be slightly more natural on the day. Overall, super-duper successful!

(will link to a video of the 3rd repetition exercise once it has uploaded to my google drive)

#film project

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Location Recce - Quest to Craiglockhart

Today Katie and I ventured to the mysterious Craiglockhart campus to try and find the perfect location for our test shoot. Unfortunately no other crew members could make it, but we took everything into account for them!

We decided to shoot at Craiglockhart last week simply for ease of access. My whole approach for this test shoot is that it is for LEARNING and whatever comes out of it will be helpful only to reflect and build upon. I think all the crew are up to their necks with work and life, so I am trying to make this shoot as easy as possible for everyone involved. So, Craiglockhart it was.

Katie and I knew we wanted to shoot in a wooded area around the back of the campus, so we started off near Room C/100. We quickly realised sound was going to be a big issue, from the traffic on the main road and also from students coming and going. We journeyed round the back of the newer buildings and came across an overgrown area of trees and bushes. After some clambering through thorns we entered the perfect little clearing for the shoot (we really did clamber through some HUGE thorns, but quickly found a much easier route on the other side of the area).

Due to the leaf coverage (which will hopefully still be there by the 14th) the area gives us a lot of control of the light. The sound was far better here and it was hidden from the public. We proceeded to block out the scene, incorporating Katie’s shot list and acting out the movements of the actors. It was really fun to be able to think about the movement and framing of the scene!

A key part is the shift in power dynamic between Phoebe and Harry, and we worked with levels to try and show this switch. Phoebe begins sitting down on a tree stump, and Harry is on a slightly risen piece of the ground. The camera/audience is looking up at Harry from Phoebe’s POV, and looking down at Phoebe over Harry’s shoulder. I like including part of Harry’s body in the shot of Phoebe as it feels like he is infringing on her space. The trees around the stump feel like they are trapping Phoebe where she is as well, whereas the shot of Harry has a lot more depth and openness to it. As their conflict progresses, Phoebe stands up and they both get closer together. As Harry loses control and becomes angry and flustered, he pushes past Phoebe and she replaces where he was standing. Now he is on the lower ground, and Phoebe is looking down on him. He then storms away and we are left with Phoebe still standing.

Being on location really helped me to visualise all these aspects and has helped Katie visualise her shot list. Plus it was fun! And we did take lots of  helpful photos for reference and note down important aspects such as sun position. Overall a success!

#film project

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Film Project Research – Writer’s Meeting 06.10

Katie and I are meeting once a week to talk about how the script is going, troubleshoot, problem solve, analyse characters, rant about politics, shout about feminism, share film suggestions, and most importantly drink tea and have girly chats.

(very serious business hapening)

Our first meeting (29/09) was really fun, but not super productive in regard to the script. It was productive in other ways however, as we talked a lot about our own opinions and values which I found incredibly reassuring. We seem to be on the same page about everything!

This week our meeting was very productive (and we also still did some intense opinion sharing). I wrote up a plan for the meeting that included a general check in, a discussion of feedback from her writing tutorial, and then a character questionnaire (below). I had originally planned to go over all the characters, however we ended up discussing Phoebe (protagonist) and Harry (antagonist) in so much depth that we decided to leave the others till next week. My written answers are brief, but our discussions were extensive and very insightful.

PHOEBE ANDERSON

Age: 19 (almost 20)

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Ace? (possibly bisexual, undecided on this one)

Studies: Philosophy

Favourite Film: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Favourite Food: Veggie Sausage Casserole (she found it in a old magazine recipe)

Likes to Wear: Corduroy trousers, warm jumpers, knitwear, cosy vibes, orange, dark green, autumnal yellow

What does she love most?: Her family

What makes her angry?:

when she is being judged/is under scrutiny, performative activism, her dad getting remarried

What does she value?:

people being gentle (honesty put nicely), money (she really values her own possessions), independence, loyalty

What motivates her?:

kindness, inspirational friends, social validation

Three Words to describe her: intelligent, insecure, ‘sarcastic’ funny

What does she want to achieve at the start of the script:

She wants to become closer with her friends and relax before exam season

What does she want to achieve by the end of the script?:

She wants to continue her life as normally as she can after what has happened (pick herself up and carry on)

What character is she closest with?

Sara at the start, Jo at the end

What character is she most distant with?

Jo at the start

What makes the way she speaks distinct?

She often doesn’t finish her sentences/thoughts

HARRY WAKEFIELD

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Says he’s bisexual but he knows he would never really be with a man

Studies: Actuarial Science/Accounting

Favourite Film: Pulp Fiction UNTIL he watched Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Favourite Food: Spaghetti and Meatballs

Likes to Wear: he dresses well with nice trousers and often a shirt, wears jewellery and black nail polish, also likes graphic t-shirts (he 100% has a Pulp Fiction t-shirt)

What does he love the most?

His family, his appearance, travelling/exploring

What makes him angry?

His older brother (jealousy), when people don’t commit to plans, theatre (he thinks it is long and boring)

What does he value most?

Money (status), independence, honesty (but not actually, he says he values honesty but if someone is really honest with him he gets angry)

What motivates him?

Social validation/getting ahead, jealousy of brother, male role models

Three Words to describe him: insecure, arrogant, charismatic

What does he want to achieve at the start of the script?

Fun times 😉

What does he want to achieve at the end of the script?

Rebuilding security

What character is he closest with?

Himself and Sara

What makes the way he speaks distinct?

Posh and English, says a lot of “ohhh” and “aw”

Some Interesting Thoughts...

After completing these we have been left with a lot of ideas and things to think about:

Harry and Phoebe have almost identical values, however they see these values to mean different things. For example, both value money, Harry is from a very privileged background, so he values it as it as an indicator of status and power. Phoebe is from a poorer background in a single parent household, so she values money because she really cares for and appreciates her possessions.

This discussion led to Katie and I coming up with a great scene idea for the start of the film. Harry can jokingly throw something of Phoebe's into the loch (a scarf or something small). This would be a great bit of foreshadowing and storytelling. It shows that Harry does not respect Phoebe's boundaries and that he is willing to hurt something that she feels is personal.

I feel Harry's character is more well-rounded and clear right now. I am still trying to figure out completely who Phoebe is.

Phoebe's dad leaving when she was young and remarrying into another family means she has been betrayed by a man close to her before

One of Phoebe's values is loyalty. Another is independence. This creates an inner conflict when her friends take Harry's side. On one had, their loyalty is broken, which deeply hurts her. On the other, she values independence and figuring things out on her own, but this situation is different, creating uncertainty within herself.

Phoebe becomes angry when she is under scrutiny. Her defensiveness when questioned about what 'really' happened with Harry may be interpreted badly by other characters.

Harry is a fake feminist. He uses the cloak of being a feminist to embrace his own femininity and to his own advantage but he does not stand up for women when it counts.

There were so many other things but these are main ones that are coming to mind! Overall, a really insightful meeting, thanks Katie!

#film project

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Film Project Research – Film Diary #2

She Said dir. Maria Schrader

TW: Mentions of sexual assault and harassment

(Carey Mulligan btw <3)

This film follows the story of the two reporters Jodi Kantor (Zoe Kazan) and Megan Twohey (Carey Mulligan) that uncovered Harvey Weinstein’s history of sexual assault and harassment and started the #MeToo movement. The story in this film is far bigger than the one I am going to try and tell, however there are elements that I can definitely learn from.

The most impactful moments in the film are when survivors are telling their stories, and also when a real audio recording of an interaction between Harvey Weinstein and actor Ambra Battilana Gutierrez is used. In each of these sequences, none of the assault is shown or even heard. The shots are simply of the location the assaults took place in, along with some specifics parts of the set such as a half-eaten meal on a hotel table, or a bathrobe left on a bed (Weinstein infamously met a lot of assistants and actors in just his bathrobe before assaulting them). I found this to be an incredibly effective way of telling these stories visually without unnecessary triggering and demeaning content. A few shots were static and a few had a slow push-in. I felt the push-in worked best as it gave a sense of being slowly trapped as the frame got tighter.

In the current draft of Katie’s script, the main character Phoebe explains what has happened to her to her friend Jo. I think using a similar technique as in She Said could be effective in helping Phoebe tell her story without doubt that it did happen. By showing audiences the location, they are able to understand Phoebe’s point of view and feel that she is telling the truth. I would also want to see the actor playing Phoebe during this monologue as I feel it will be a very emotional and important performance. Ideally I can blend the two. Of course, Katie’s script may change but those are my thoughts for now!

On another note, I would highly encourage anyone who is not aware of how deep Harvey Weinstein’s rot reached to watch this film, or at least research it. I would recommend reading Chapter 10 of the book Women vs Hollywood: The Rise and Fall of Women in Film by Helen O’Hara (one of my favourite books and happy to lend to anyone wanting to read it)! To successfully change the industry into a more positive and accessible place, people need to first understand the past and current problems to prevent them from repeating.

Burden of Proof dir. Ivar Aase

TW: Mention of rape

A one-take short film about a woman confronting her abusive ex-boyfriend. We see the events take place from an aerial shot looking down at a bridge where the pair meet. She gives him his clothes back and he tries to coerce her into taking him back. She accuses him of rape and asks him to apologise. There is a small twist at the end which I won’t spoil for anyone that wants to watch!

The main learning from this is from the way the man denies what he has done in a very smooth non-chalant way until he becomes angry. He appears charming and likable until he isn’t. The character of Harry is in a somewhat similar situation that he has to try and talk himself out of. The body language of the two characters is interesting as it shifts as the film progresses. This is something I will need to consider in my work with the actors.

He’s The One dir. Jessie Kahnweiler

TW: Rape

In this short film, the main character Jess falls head over heels for a man. When they go to sleep, she notices a tattoo on his shoulder and realises that he is the man that raped her ten years before. In the morning she calls her best friend and struggles with her feelings towards him and the situation.

I am not sure how I feel about this film to be honest. It is an interesting idea but I don’t love the way it was executed. There is a flashback to the rape, which I think is filmed well and to be honest I am unsure how the filmmaker could have communicated what had happened without showing it as the audience needed to see it was the same man. It is unclear if the man recognises Jess and knows what he has done. There are some key lines of dialogue in the conversation Jess has with her friend that I thought were good, however I felt the jokey tone continuing to the end of the film didn’t quite work for me.

Why Didn’t You? – Podcast by Terri White

TW: Rape

I believe that listening to people with lived experience of sexual assault is an important part of my research. This podcast only began a few weeks ago and it is a platform for survivors to share their story. The title “Why Didn’t You” stems from the common questions survivors are faced with: why didn’t you run, why didn’t you report it at the time, why didn’t you break up with him, why didn’t you wear less revealing clothes etc. Listening to women’s stories has allowed me to think more about the psychological affects of sexual assault and means I am able to treat this story correctly.

#Youtube #Spotify #film project

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Film Project Research - Film Diary #1

As part of my research for this semester I am (of course) going to try and watch a lot of films. I also intend to write about anything I take away from them or to note things I found to be interesting or useful. Will I keep this up? Who knows!

God’s Creatures dir. Anna Rose Holmer and Saela Davis

TW: Sexual Assualt

This film kept popping up in various google searches about films focusing on sexual assault. It peaked my interest as it focuses more on the story of the man (Brian, played by Paul Mescal) rather than the woman. Brian is portrayed as incredibly charismatic and liked by everyone, much like the main male character in Katie’s script (Harry). In God’s Creatures, Brian’s mother defends him when Sarah (Aisling Murphy) goes to the police after Brian rapes her. The whole town isolates Sarah, but Brian’s mother loathes her son more and more.

Take-Aways:

Interesting character of Brian as the audience goes from liking him to hating him. Very similar character to how I am imagining Harry to be.

The subsequent isolation of Sarah can be compared to how friends isolate main female character Phoebe in Katie’s script

The assault is not shown on screen yet it is clear by the end of the film it has happened. I think it is made clear through Brian’s growing defensiveness, and also some great sound design when we first see Sarah after the assault. The score and sound design work well together to create a sort of broken flashback through the audio.

Water is used a lot in this film, but it seems to signify danger. Water in Katie’s script will potentially signify safety/a comforting isolation. I like the way the water is filmed in God’s Creatures though.

There is a shot where Sarah stands alone in her doorway and we slowly move away from her. Simple but effective way of physically isolating her from the audience, even when she is in the ‘comfort’ of her home.

The ending (no spoilers) has a similar tone that I want the ending of our film to achieve.

#film project #film diary

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The Beginning of The End...

It’s the start of 4th year! Oh my god!! I feel like I moved out of Bainfield last week!!!

I finished 3rd year with two things:

Exhaustion

A genuine love for directing

I have therefore spent the summer thinking about directing, watching videos about directing, reading about directing, and doing pretty much everything except actually directing a film. So roll on the grad films!

This year I am hoping to direct a project that is currently being written by the one and only Katie Cox. Her script is about a group of friends that are on holiday together when one male friend sexually assaults one of the female friends. Over the summer Katie and I have sent what I suspect to be hours of voice notes back and forth discussing the story and what we want the film to say. Now we are meeting in person at least once a week to further develop our film.

Through our discussions and my own observations, I have decided I am interested in exploring female loneliness. I find I am often watching films that deal with male loneliness (Fight Club, Drive, Joker, Taxi Driver to name a few very popular ones). I have found a lot of films discussing this are linked with violence (not to say all films about this matter are violent, for example, Her). Female loneliness in films tends to be more subtle and less dramatic, and ultimately, portrayed less.

As a matter of opinion (until I do a bit more research) I feel that women experience loneliness on a very different level to men. Growing up and living in a phallocentric society means there is an unearthed sense of being not enough and never quite fitting in. I find as a bisexual woman myself that I don’t feel that I fit into straight community or queer community. Due to this feeling of not fitting in, women make stronger and more meaningful bonds with their friends and hold these bonds to the highest importance. But what happens if these bonds are broken? What happens if the people a woman holds closest to her betray her? How would this further isolate someone who is already walking through life feeling a sense of unanswered loneliness?

This is what I aim to explore with my research. In Katie’s script, the main character is assaulted by someone she looks up to and values, and her other friends do not support her when she needs it. This leaves her alone. I am planning to watch films that deal with female loneliness to understand how other filmmakers have portrayed it. I also want to understand how different female characters react to being alone. In tandem with this I will watch films that deal with sexual assault, specifically the aftermath. I do not want to show the assault as I strongly believe this is never beneficial for the film. However, I am interested in how films then explain what has happened. I am concerned that the film could accidentally be ambiguous as to whether the main character has been assaulted or not. I do not want this at all, it should be certain what has happened. But how can I ensure this? I currently have an ever-growing list of films to watch which deal with female loneliness and assault. I intend to keep a diary of each one I watch in order to reference it later. On top of this, I will do a lot of reading into the psychological effects of assault and female loneliness. I also plan to speak to friends who are comfortable discussing their own experiences with me.

On a different note, I am hoping to really practice directing actors this semester. As I mentioned, I have been researching over the summer about how to work with actors and I now feel ready to put what I have been learning into practice. I intend to find actors that would also be up for auditioning for the film when the time comes so I am able to build a close bond with them and really explore the characters Katie has created.

Here is a small article that illustrates some data about male and female loneliness: https://psychcentral.com/blog/surprising-differences-between-lonely-women-and-lonely-men#3

(also i am currently in love with greta gerwig)

#final project