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onechicagomess · 4 years

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why are french people rude?

Ah well, the safest explanation when an entire country’s people are stereotyped as rude is that they have their own culture with different criteria for politeness than the ones you are used to. It’s probably easier for Americans to forget this than for the rest of the world, because they consume less foreign media than the rest of us (from literature in translation to foreign films) and are less exposed to aspects of foreign cultures that could inform them about different norms of politeness (online interactions happen in their own language and follow their own (anglo) social codes.) With this insular worldview it’s easy to take it for granted that American good manners are universal. They are not!

A very common gripe against American tourists in Paris is that they talk so loudly in public spaces, which is definitely rude here but I assume that in the US, people just have a different threshold for what constitutes ‘loud’ (I wonder if it is due to being used to having more space than Europeans). I also remember a discussion I had with one of my translation professors about the American concept of ‘active listening’ and how negatively it is perceived in France. It may be that in the US it is polite to make ‘listening noises’ at regular intervals while someone is speaking to you, ‘uh huh’, ‘right’, ‘yeah’, ‘really?’, and that you would perceive someone who just stands there silently as disinterested or thinking about something else. In France it is more polite to shut up and listen (with the occasional nod or ‘mmh’) and it’s rather seen as annoying and rude to make a bunch of useless noise while someone is speaking.

There are of course countless examples like that. The infamous rude waiters in Parisian cafés probably seem a lot more rude and cold to people who have a different food culture… People from other cultures might consider a waiter terrible at his job if he doesn’t frequently check on them to make sure they don’t wait for anything, but the idea that a meal is a pleasant experience rather than just a way to feed yourself (esp when eating out) means we like having time to chat and just enjoy our table for a while, so we don’t mind as much waiting to order or for the next course. French people would typically hate if an overzealous waiter took the initiative to bring the note once we’re done with our meal so we don’t have to wait for it, as it would be interpreted as “you’re done, now get out of my restaurant.”

The level of formality required to be polite is quite high in France, which might contribute to French people being seen as rude by people with a more casual culture. To continue with waiters, even in casual cafés they will address clients with the formal you and conversely, and won’t pretend to be your friend (the fact that we don’t have the American tip culture also means they don’t feel the need to ingratiate themselves to you.) I remember being alarmed when a waitress in New York introduced herself and asked how I was doing. “She’s giving me her first name? What… am I supposed to with it? Use it?” It gave me some insight on why Americans might consider French waiters rude or sullen! It might also be more accepted outside of France to customise your dish—my brother worked as a waiter and often had to say “That won’t be possible” about alterations to a dish that he knew wouldn’t fly with the chef, to foreign tourists who were stunned and angry to hear that, and probably brought home a negative opinion of French waiters. In France where the sentiment in most restaurants is more “respect the chef’s skill” than “the customer is king”, people are more likely to be apologetic if they ask for alterations (beyond basic stuff) as you can quickly be seen as rude, even by the people you are eating with.

And I remember reading on a website for learning English that the polite answer to “How are you?” is “I’m fine, thank you!” because it’s rude to burden someone you aren’t close to with your problems. In my corner of the French countryside the polite thing to do is to complain about some minor trouble, because saying everything is going great is perceived negatively, as boasting, and also as a standoffish reply that kind of shuts down the conversation, while grumbling about some problem everyone can relate to will keep it going. (French people love grumbling as a positive bonding activity!)

Basically, before you settle on the conclusion that people from a different place are collectively rude, consider that if you travel there and scrupulously follow your own culture’s social code of good manners, you might be completely unaware that you are being perceived as obnoxious, rude or unfriendly yourself simply because your behaviour clashes with what is expected by locals.

#culture #i find this super interesting

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onechicagomess · 4 years

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Kidnapped - Hailey Upton x Fem!Lindsay!Reader

A/n: Themes of kidnapping, injury, abuse from kidnappers, mentions of torture and all that dark stuff, mentions a Jason and a crowbar *cougheastereggcough*

When your sister, Erin was 14, she had been arrested 5 times and got onto the radar of Hank Voight. You’d been caught twice for theft by age 8. Eventually, Voight and his wife took your sister in and became her legal guardians. You were originally placed in foster care before being found by Voight and also taken in by him and his wife, Camille when you were 10 years old.

Erin was sent to St. Ignatius College Prep before joining the Chicago Police Department.

Your story was different.

You went through school from age 10 to age 18 before leaving Chicago and the US in general.

You left to study in Iceland as an international student and stayed there until you returned to Chicago to participate in a semester there at the University of Chicago. That’s where you met her.

Hailey Upton.

The relationship lasted the entirety of the semester before you had to go back to Iceland to complete the rest of your studies.

Long distance didn’t work. No matter how much the two of you put into it. No matter how much love the two of you had for each other. No matter if you never got over her.

///

Getting kidnapped was definitely not on your agenda when you returned to Chicago to visit your father figure, Voight.

You were grabbed on the street, a CCTV camera picked up the abduction and found blood on the pavement as you’d been able to get a hit in on one of your kidnappers.

When the blood was matched with a group who had been involved in the kidnapping of three other people, Intelligence knew they had to move.

///

Wherever you were, it was dim and chalky. The chalk dust you were inhaling was dry but a dripping noise echoed from afar.

Your hands were tied to a overhead pipe by zip ties from what you could feel. The back of your jeans were damp and your white vans were caked with grime. A groan from your right made you jerk away, trying to make out the figure lying on the ground 2 metres away.

“Ugh, where am I?” The voice was male but you didn’t recognise it. It wasn’t someone you knew from before and it wasn’t one of your kidnappers.

You remained silent as you watched them look around and attempt to move their wrists. Zip tied.

“Fuck.” You heard him whisper before he also fell silent momentarily.

“Hello? HELLO!”

“Shush!” You shushed at him, making him jump and look at you through the darkness.

“Who are you? Where are we?” He enquired but you just shushed him as you heard footsteps.

“Shut it! Before I beat the three of you with this!” A masked man shouted, waving around a crowbar.

Your eyes widened as you glanced around the space.

Three?

///

“What do we know so far?” Voight growled, his voice was darker than normal as Jay stood infront of the crime board with a file.

“4 kidnapped victims, 3 female, 1 male. Kasey Rose, Jason Kelley, Drew Mayweather and… Y/n Lindsay. All four were grabbed early morning on the streets of Chicago. Lindsay managed to get a hit in before she was drugged like the others and eventually passed out, being taken by a black van with no plates. The blood from the scene matched with someone in the data base-”

///

You were rolling around trying to move your wrists to see the pipe when you spotted a lump two metres to your left. A lump with eyes.

“Stay quiet and they don’t lash out.” The lump whispered, their voice was hoarse and dry, probably the chalk dust.

“What’s your name?” The male to your right coughed, a russling making all three of you pause before the lump replied.

“Kasey. You?”

“Jason.”

“Y/n.”

“Any idea why we’re here?” Jason asked, trying to break the zip ties.

“Kidnapping… threatening assault plus the drug they dosed me with to make me pass out and stop fighting to get away…” You whispered under your breath before a cold wind washed over the three of you.

“Where the hell are we?” You whispered but you got no response.

“Also, shouldn’t we be gagged? Unless we’re too far away or underground for anyone to hear our cries for help… fuck…” Jason rambled, making you glare.

///

Footsteps could be heard down Maxwell Street to the 21st District.

Sergeant Trudy Platt nodded as the person walked in, walking over to the gate up to Intelligence.

“Sorry to interrupt but back-up has arrived.” Platt announced, Voight and the rest of Intelligence didn’t speak as the person was revealed.

“Let’s find my sister and the other three victims and get these sons of bitches.” Erin Lindsay growled, gaining nods from everyone.

“Sarge, we’ve got a hit on the van. Patrol found it ditched in a car park off-”

“All the victim’s mobiles were in the glove compartment. Crime lab is checking for fingerprints but they found this under the carpet in the back of the van.” Kim explained, presenting a charm bracelet that Erin instantly recognised.

“It’s Y/n’s, she got it during her semester at University of Chicago, never said who it was from but-” Erin fell silent as she opened the locket part, staring at the photo inside that you’d always hidden from Erin and Voight.

Hailey let out a breath as Erin looked up at her.

“It’s from me. I got her the charm bracelet when we were dating.” Hailey explained, Jay looked at her in confusion whilst Erin raised an eyebrow and Voight disappeared to address Kevin and Adam.

“You dated my sister?” Erin asked, breaking the awkward silence as Hailey stared at the floor.

Glancing up, Hailey paused before meeting Erin’s eye. “Yeah.”

///

It had been 5 hours when your kidnappers approached again. The short number of footsteps suggested they’d been nearby the entire time but it was hard to tell as the three of you were being moved out of wherever you were last kept, being shoved into a blue van with another individual. They were beaten and bloody with a gag in their mouth to shut them up.

Your eyes widened as you stared at them before something slammed into your back, throwing you further into the back of the van. A groan left your lips as Kasey and Jason were thrown in too, Jason’s foot hitting your back.

“Gag them already! Don’t need these idiots screaming for help.”

///

“Cameras caught the van being used to do a drop off at an abandoned construction site, grounds are chalky and easily destroyed by water so the site was abandoned due to loss of profit-”

“That was probably where they’re keeping them, roll out!”

///

The four of you were silent, thumping around the van at each turn around a corner.

One particular thump to your head took you out as everything faded to black.

///

“We’ve found four sets of cut zip ties and fresh blood belonging to Drew Mayweather. Forensics also found hairs belonging to Jason Kelley. There were skin cells on the zip ties that match Y/n and Kasey, suggesting that they are injured and that Drew Mayweather is also injured.”

“Seem rather clumsy for a hard to track kidnapping group.” Hailey commented, a sour look on her face as Voight nodded.

“That’s because those two are new players, sloppy. The group they work for aims to kidnap and sell people to the highest bidders. The group’s style involves holding the victims underground, like the construction site whilst vehicles are ditched and new ones are obtained to move the victims out into somewhere off the grid.” Kevin explained, pulling up information on previous locations used to hide the kidnapping victims.

“After that, they move each victim individually to their new owners… we have to find them before they’re split off and potentially moved out of Chicago or the state in general.”

“We need to find that before that happens!” Voight exclaimed, everyone hustling to locate the second vehicle. The blue van.

///

“Mayweather’s name flagged up in the system.” Jay’s voice broke the focus of Intelligence as everyone paused and looked up.

“As a criminal?” Voight enquired, staring at the board with your photo on it along with Jason’s, Drew’s and Kasey’s.

“As a cop.” Jay deadpanned, passing Voight the file on Detective Drew Mayweather.

“It’s not just Mayweather either, Sarge, we’ve got a dirty cop.”

///

“Dude, the more battered they are, the less we get paid!” One of your kidnappers snarled as you began to wake up, blood had dripped down your forehead and down over your eyebrow.

“Bitch did it to herself, just like that one who pissed off JJ.” The guy snapped, gesturing at the other battered kidnapped victim who you didn’t know the name of.

“JJ is easily pissed off, what do you expect? But we get paid less if they’re battered and they’re worth nothing if they’re dead!” The second kidnapper shouted before JJ walked over.

“What the hell! Hurry up and get them inside!” JJ snarled before getting a foot slammed at him as he tried to grab Jason.

You let out a noise through your gag as you slammed your foot at JJ’s head as he tried to get back at Jason for kicking him.

“Bitch!” JJ snarled, grabbing you by the ankles roughly, even as Kasey and Jason tried to butt in. You let out a muffled squeak as you were pulled from the van, your chest and chin hitting the small step before thumping on the ground.

You weren’t sure how you were being dragged on your stomach towards a weird abandoned building, down stone steps to be left at the bottom.

“What happened to not battering them?” Your first kidnapper questioned, staring at the second as he dropped the unnamed kidnapping victim to the ground with less of a thud than when you hit the ground.

“You want to tell that to JJ? He’ll batter us too.”

///

“A traffic cam picked up a blue van that was rented to a bogus name but it was seen leaving the construction site with multiple cameras picking up the van’s journey to an abandoned house-”

“That’s got to be it.” Erin interjected, staring at the photos screenshot from the traffic cam.

“Let’s roll, but keep a distance, we don’t want to spook them.” Voight stated, grabbing his coat.

///

Whoever the hell JJ was didn’t matter at this point. What mattered was he was brutual with a crowbar, as Jason had found as he was walloped by it. This was also discovered by your other two kidnappers as they were threatened by the crowbar too.

“When do the buyers get here?” The second kidnapper whispered to the first who just stared at you, Kasey, Jason and Drew who had managed to get her gag loose enough to mutter her first name before falling unconscious due to her injuries.

“Soon, first one comes for the guy at noon. The fighter is next after that followed by the pretty one… the fourth one hasn’t been selected yet.”

“Because you idiots kidnapped a cop and the daughter of another cop!” JJ shrieked as he ran in with that damn crowbar.

“How the hell do you know that?”

“Because of police radio chatter, that’s what!” JJ shouted, throwing the crowbar at the wall.

You let out a grunt as you began to shuffle to get out of the zip ties, your elbows cracking as you tried to bend to get your arms infront of you, to no evail. Jason raised his eyebrows at you before he shuffled over slightly, nodding his head as he began to move his wrists around.

The two of you nodded as you both heard the muffled snapping noises of Jason’s zip ties as you slipped out of yours.

Kasey looked shocked before she shuffled over to Drew who was barely conscious.

None of you had any idea that CPD were outside the building as JJ went to storm out, leaving your first and second kidnappers to stand there, staring at the door he left out of.

“You wouldn’t think that JJ was a cop, would you?” But that was all they wrote as Jason grabbed the crowbar and you lunged to shove one of the kidnappers to the floor. You were barely able to topple him but your tackle took him out but not for long until you heard something.

“CPD! Put your hands where I can see them!”

You didn’t expect JJ to storm in to avoid Erin and Hailey as the door slammed shut behind him. Neither did you expect him to grab you by the neck, holding you against the wall with his hand crushing your windpipe.

The kidnapper you took out got up off the floor as Jason attempted to take down the other kidnapper but the crowbar was out of reach.

///

When Intelligence and patrol arrived at the scene where you and your fellow kidnap victims were being held.

After scouting out the area, they got a glance in the basement room all of you were in through some upper basement windows.

“Three suspects inside the south basement room with the four victims, one is armed with a crowbar.” echoed over the radio, Voight just nodded after replying with a “Copy that,” gesturing for Atwater and Burgess to enter first, followed by Lindsay and Upton as Voight and Ruzek waited outside.

“Clear!”

The top floor and the attic were clear as Burgess and Atwater dealt with those. Upton, Lindsay and Halstead checked the ground floor before heading to to the basement where what they heard confused the hell out of them.

Thumping. Crashing. Punching. Snarling.

All that needed to be exchanged was a glance of agreement between Upton and Lindsay before Upton kicked the door in.

“CPD! Put your hands where I can see them!”

///

Your eyes widened as you spotted who was with CPD, a grin tugging its way across your face as you struggled for air, whacking at the hands that were choking you.

“What’s so funny?!” JJ screamed but you gave him something to really scream about with a well placed foot hitting between his legs.

JJ hit the ground with a yell whilst you landed on your butt with a groan, your hands on your throat as you choked down the air in your struggles.

JJ was down and so were your other two kidnappers as Voight walked in, glancing around.

You didn’t realise Erin and Hailey were infront of you until they helped you up with a soft grip under your arms.

Everything was a blurr until you woke up in Chicago Med.

“Y/n?” You let out a dazed noise at your name, glancing around to see Erin, Hank and Hailey stood in your hospital room.

“How’d I get here?” You murmured, your voice was hoarse as you tried to sit up, much to everyone’s protest.

“After one of the kidnappers almost crushed your windpipe, you kicked him in the balls but you hit the ground hard and the panic made you drift in and out of consciousness… plus the adrenaline and exhaustion.” Erin explained, pausing as she saw you grin.

“You’re here. You’re actually here and I’m not hallucinating from being strangled.” You admitted, sipping the cup of water being passed to you.

“Glad to see you’re okay, kid.” Hank stated with a slight smile before he went to talk to one of the doctors.

///

Hailey chewed her lip as she waited for you to wake up, a long conversation and explanation of her relationship with you to Erin granted her access to your hospital room as they waited for you to wake up.

Your neck was bruised, scratches, cuts and grazes covered your body and there were more bruises than Hailey could count. Not to mention your split lip and eyebrow.

When your eyes eventually fluttered open, Hailey could feel her heart skip a beat and a familar warmth she felt in her chest back when she was dating you. She didn’t know that Erin and Voight were both watching her watch you.

///

You pretended you hadn’t noticed her until Hank had left but your heart monitor was saying otherwise.

“That thing really does not hide my reaction to seeing you again.” You admitted, eyes on your bare wrist before you heard a little chime of metal.

“You dropped something…” Hailey whispered, passing it to you.

“Shouldn’t this be in evidence?” You enquired, staring at the charm bracelet and the locket on it.

“It’s been processed and released, you’re clear to wear it again you cheeseball.” Erin explained, making your ears burn red as Hailey helped put it back on your wrist via the lobster claw clasp.

“I’m surprised you kept it.” Hailey admitted as Erin just smiled softly, winking at you before slipping out of the hospital room.

“I couldn’t let go of it… it has a lot of memories and meaning to it. Hailey… I never… I never… moved on from you…” You admitted back, chewing your lip as you stared up at your blonde ex-lover as her eyes softened even more.

“Y/n…” Hailey cooed, making you flinch in expectation of rejection.

“No, it’s okay, to tell the truth, I never really moved on from you either… there were guys and girls I dated but they never compared to you.” Hailey admitted quietly, making you frown through your buzz of relief.

“What’s that frown for?” Hailey enquired but you just shook your head.

“Shock that you, the most amazing person ever, didn’t move on from little old me…” You began but Hailey kissed you to shut you up.

The two of you split apart as Erin slipped the door open.

“Sorry to interrupt but the doctors want to do a check-up on Y/n and see when they can discharge her… also… Hailey, I believe we need to have a talk.” Erin explained with a knowing look as you flushed red.

“Good luck…” you whispered to Hailey as she followed Erin out of the room so Dr Manning could walk in.

A chuckle left your lips as Hailey looked back at you with an unnerved look.