omniysk

[omniysk]

The local villagers watching a big scary tattooed Viking chase around a flying piece of paper parkour style for an hour

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i asked an AI to make some art inspired by the dragon age inquisition companions

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Oh my God that is hilarious, and the four runner picture sent me!

Me: *suggests cool events to management, like a Jaws movie night in the pool or Halloween haunted house*

Me: *suggests we hire more instructors and promote our lessons better*

Management: *starts an overpriced toddler yoga program*

Me:

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I’m sorry a what? How, how do you even go about baby yoga and who is enrolling their kids in this 😂😂😂

Me: *suggests cool events to management, like a Jaws movie night in the pool or Halloween haunted house*

Me: *suggests we hire more instructors and promote our lessons better*

Management: *starts an overpriced toddler yoga program*

Me:

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One thing that I feel about camp, more so now that I’m older, is how young we as camp staff are, or in my case was. The amount of trust we put in 18-21 year olds or younger (yes I am aware that there are older staff), to watch over the campers, run high risk programs like rock climbing and boating, and more. It’s a great deal of responsibility to put on young people.

Also I accidentally thought that a staff member being dropped off by their parent was a camper coming a week early. Oops.

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Bicycle Cowboy's little sister: "Did you know they still use maggots at doctors and dentists?"

Me, faking surprise: "In this country?!"

Bicycle Cowboy's little sister: "No, only in other countries."

Me: "Oh... like what other countries?"

Bicycle Cowboy's little sister: "Texas."

(She is 8 years old btw.)

[omniysk]

The Commander, inspired by Cullen Rutherford

“Safe and solid, protecting and proud. He feels like quiet, stronger when you hold him.”

This masculine and strong candle has notes of oakmoss and fern to perfectly capture the essence of Cullen Rutherford. 

Buy on Etsy: [link] Browse our other candles: [link]

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“Maker’s Breath, but you’re beautiful.”

This candle smells like a rose blooming in the darkness. 

Buy on Etsy: [link] Browse our other candles: [link]

[omniysk]

*gently points to the giveaway currently live on the badgerwick instagram*

[here’s a link] to our instagram to enter the giveaway!

[here’s a link] to our etsy, where you can find all our candles for sale!

[omniysk]

I swear summertime brings the sketchiest people out to pools

Today in the News

A homeless tweaker came in to the pool and hung out in the lobby area for over an hour. He sat in the viewing room, spazzing out and leering at the hydroworks class. He was about 5'3", had sparse patches of hair clinging to his head in random spots, had no teeth, and had lots of festering wounds on his arms with blue Sharpie scribbles in between.

I was guarding at the time, so I couldn't go deal with the issue. A swim instructor came over to chat, so I sent her to go see if the guy was actually high or just disabled in some way. A few minutes later, she came back to tell me that when she asked if he needed anything, he said he would gladly "take her out". Umm, ewww? A new lifeguard trainee came over to tell me that the guy came up to her and asked her if she had "any smokes".

When I was finally free to return to the desk, I walked in to see him repeatedly swiping an ID card in the credit card slot on the vending machine. He came over to the desk to ask for a Band-Aid and when I gave him one, he proceeded to peel his shirt off by the neck RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and attempt to plaster the Band-Aid (after taking a couple seconds to sniff it) on an oozing, yellow, 2 inch wound on his chest. I told him there was a trash bin in the next room for the Band-Aid wrapper. He mumbled in acknowledgement then carefully tucked the wrapper shards into his shirt pocket for later (maybe to smell?). He went back into the other room to spaz out and sort through his marker collection. A little boy sat down in there to wait for his father to finish swimming laps and the guy turned to leer at him unblinkingly.

Old lady members kept coming up to the desk and asking if me and the other female staff were okay and safe. I assured them we were prepared and sent them on their way... then called the manager. She told him firmly to leave the building AND the property. He left without protest, but stopped to use the sidewalk out front as his own personal restroom, much to the shock of some poor hydroworks people.

That was the last straw for me. I called the non emergency police line to ask them to make sure he left and stayed gone. They never responded. -_- But thankfully, the guy didn't return.

In other news, I caught a teenage boy sneaking around behind the pool and trying to climb the fence to get into a hidden alley behind the gym. I promptly told him to leave.

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I’m so glad I can kick people out once they hit the 15 minutes past closing mark

If you stay over half an hour past closing time just to mosey through your entire post-swim shower routine, keeping employees from going home who have worked a 10+ hour shift that started at 5am, consider yourself a MASSIVE JERK. I hope you find a spider in your bed, tonight.

[omniysk]

Mass Effect veterans rn at every plot twist

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This is both a warning and a threat.

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Happy Friday! 

We are so excited to announce that our customizable candles are now available for purchase! Pick from eleven different label styles and five different scents to create the perfect candle to represent yourself or your OC! 

Get yours [Here]!

[omniysk]

I feel this 😂 I swear all the old people want me to teach a water aerobics class until I actually get in there and make them move rather than spend the whole class talking

"ALL YOUR BUTTS BELONG TO ME, TODAY!"

—The Senior Guard subbing for another Hydroworks instructor and cramming a 45 minute class into 30 minutes

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Today I watched the senior guard tow a little old lady across the entire pool with a lane line at high speed. She held on for dear life with one hand and waived at all her elderly pals with the other as she flew by them, smiling ear to ear.

"This is the fastest you'll ever see me swim!" she called out to everyone.

ZOOOOMM!!! I cheered from the guard stand. Lap swimmers and hydroworks people all turned to watch. The senior guard grinned from the deck as he pulled in the lane line, with no hint of that characteristic impish glint in his eye.

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As I got ready to open the pool today, an ocassional beeping sound permeated the early morning stillness. I dismissed it, thinking it was probably the troublesome vending machine begging for money. But then the senior guard heard it and went full father-hearing-a-weird-noise-in-the-car mode. He just HAD to find out where it was coming from.

After a five minute search turned up nothing, he surmised that someone must have placed an annoying noise machine somewhere as a prank. Because of course.

But we kept looking and eventually discovered it was our AED, whose battery hasn't been charged/replaced since 2017, calling for help.

(Don't worry, we're getting management on that IMMEDIATELY.)