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Happy tired and a little on edge Tuesday

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things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

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why did he say this

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This is an insult to God's favorite creatures, the beetle and the crab

god made molluscs and then everything else was an accident

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Is this from Catherine the Greats castle?

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my record player is cheap as shit and the needle keeps skipping so i put a tiny pig on it as an arm weight

it’s lighter than a coin and working perfectly so i’m just gonna. not bother the pig

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I hope you live to see the day life no longer sucks so you can enjoy it.

Not in this life

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They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven’t had your “third” death. You decide to find out why.

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Imagine getting distracted talking to someone in front of it because the keep glancing over your shoulder at the giant balls dangling over your head

“What Napoleon criticised in the statue could perhaps be summed up in one thing: his uneasiness at the sight of his own nudity. And it was precisely his nudity that was felt to be problematic, even shocking. But how did Canova come to have the odd idea of representing Napoleon as a nude divinity?”

— Valérie Huet, Napoleon I: A New Augustus?

The nude statue of Napoleon in question:

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If you see any of those liquid filled mint bubbles from like 2005 grab a handful for me

descending into madness. y’all want anything?

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I know how people's interpretation of Odysseus and Athena's relationship is somewhat toxic but parental, but I like to think of him as her weird pet