nyxvents

[nyxvents]

i was doing so well

#havent purposely triggered myself in months! these last couple days tho #im shakinggg

[nyxvents]

i dont realy know why i wanna cry im not particularly stressed im not particularly sad or angry or anything im just. Sweaty and dont wanna go to school

#i dont dislike school but the necessity is making my hell brain feel trapped and not fun

[nyxvents]

Adulting Posts

Adulting 101: The post that started it all! Discount cards, xmas lights, and general food advice.

Adulting 102: Cacti, electric bills, and some inexpensive cleaning advice.

Adulting 103: Peeing after sex, chalkboard paint, and why you need scented trash bags in your life.

Adulting 104: Electric bill budgets, lint drawers, and why mixed greens are more trouble than they’re worth.

Adulting 105: Paper bills, Yankee Candles, and where to purchase postage stamps.

Adulting 106: Scented tampons, dishwasher pods, and why you should live next to a fire department.

Adulting 107: Command hooks, inexpensive bathroom decor, and why organic cucumbers are overrated. 

Adulting 108: An Adulting post dedicated entirely to apartment hunting!

Adulting 109: Cleaning your shower head, condiments, and why you should never buy Dollar Store paper towels.

Adulting 110: Food hygiene, Airborne, and automatic payment advice.

[nyxvents]

ok but do you understand how exhausting it is for me to never get a break from me

[nyxvents]

Tips to build up confidence?

Cut out the negativity including toxic people.Pretend to be confident, faking it eventually turns into the real thing.Focus on the good stuff. Like if you have a fantastic butt or a mind that will think beautiful things then focus on that. Stop the negative self-talk, your thoughts are a lot more powerful than you realise.Push yourself slowly to do things that scare you. Go talk to that person or dare yourself to do something new.Stop looking at things that you will never become and learn to be okay with that. You are you and that is just fine.

#coping skills(tm)

[nyxvents]

it's like I'm buzzing but my body cant find the right version of the buzzing and is just updating the buzzing program and it's not fun

#im like sixk tired #i really nees more sleep im #my body fuckin hurts

[nyxvents]

I'm gonna have to pester my mom about setting up that appointment 👀

#i cant let her forget about ittt

[nyxvents]

[nyxvents]

a gentle reminder that you aren’t a disappointment. you aren’t a failure. no one knows how hard u try and you’re doing so well. you deserve so much better.

[nyxvents]

I dont understand how you can say someone is a good person if they dont agree with your existence as a gay or trans person

#hes not a good person!!!! i dont give a single fuck if hes her boyfriend or if hes your friend #dont fucking try to tell me hes still a good person and that i should give him a chance #i did and he blew it within 10 minutes and i dont have to be around him if i dont fucking want to

[nyxvents]

once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!

#coping skills(tm)

[nyxvents]

I don’t know who the creator of this is. If anyone knows please comment it.

#coping skills(tm) #autism #still not 100% about if i have autism but like theres a darn good chance

[nyxvents]

start my day on two (2) hours of sleep, get up forget my sketchbook om my way to my dads and have to go back home to get it

(Emeto tw) Make myself breakfast because I have time and my bagel doesnt get evenly toasted and it tears wrong and then I throw up like 15 minutes after eating

so I go to my dads and the first time i leave the house i forget my wallet so I go back grab my wallet and go and then only when I get on the bus do I find out my bus pass is expired but the guy lets me on which is nice but then I get fucking stranded in the middle of a not great area and have to call my lovely grandmother who. Cant find me -_- but then she does and we get on our way to my dads and then

1 I cant find the photo paper to make my prints

2 the freakin drumset is in the way of the printer so I have to like parkour around it

3 the fuckijg printer decides it doesnt want to work because Vague Error :) Try Again :)

And at this point I'm like. Holding back tears cuz it's not even fucking noon

#its not even fucking noon #im 1000% gonna cry when i get home #maybe before then who knows :))) #im having a really bad day

[nyxvents]

TODAY IS NKT MY FUCKING DAY

#nothing is going right and im so fucking sad snd upset and frustrated

[nyxvents]

today is really not my day

[nyxvents]

I FUCKING HATE THIS HOUSE I HATE MY DAD I HATE HIM I HATE HIS FAMILY I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM

#hes always trying to get some kind of upper hand and make sure he can do something to make me fucking depend on him #i just want him out of my fucking life but i CANT #everything about him makes me depressed i just want to fucking shrivel up #i hate this house #i hate this place i hate everything !!!!!!!!!!!! #i hate everyrhing about him!!!!!!!

[nyxvents]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

#coping skills(tm)