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Fuck this day. I had to put my bestest Roxy Dawg to sleep this morning. My heart is crushed and I can’t stop crying like a baby. She’s the dog I didn’t want, but she climbed into my heart and a saved my life when life was shitting on me. Days will now be weird without her loud ass barking at every single car door slam, neighbor talking in the yard, or a rat fart 10 miles away. Alls I know when I go to the afterlife she better be there waiting with a damn frisbee in her mouth and tail wagging or the afterlife can fuck right off.

Rest now sweet girl I love you.

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Workers comp claim coming right up! I leaned back and the spring exploded and it dumped me backwards onto the floor. “I can’t feel my legs I can’t feel my legs I need an attorney…… I mean an ambulance”!!

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I think I’m going to ease up drinking coffee and start drinking tea instead. Become a tea snob. Whenever I drink tea (not iced sweet tea since I’m Southern) I think back to a childhood friend’s grandmother who was English. Married his grandfather during WWII like many did and settle here. She’d always stop what she was doing at some point of the day and make tea and have biscuits (🙄 cookies I’d argue). She’d clap her hands and announce in her thick cockney accent “it’s Queens hour settle down loves”! She was so elegant and well mannered the way she handled the tea pot and served you tea which I needed lots of sugar in it because it was gross plain. My friend and I would mock her the way she drank holding her pinkie finger outward. Funny she would clear her throat and say “you two seem to have a bit of clootie in you today”. For years I had no idea what she meant until her brother visited and told me “clootie” was the devil. I honestly think his grandparents loved me more than him because he was a spoiled asshole and I was always polite and treated them with respect. She fascinated me with her accent and her mannerisms. So in the honor of Mimi Georgie I think I’ll try drinking tea for a bit and I’ll even hold me pinkie out properly.

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So corporate is watching every move I make now. The president comes to me and my boss and tells us we need to take up some slack for the estimators because they’re so overwhelmed. We check the bid schedule and one guy hasn’t put a bid out in two weeks, the other two bids in a week, and the other guy three a day for the past month. First off I do accounting math not estimating math. There is a difference. Second what the fuck are the other two dumbasses doing besides texting people and laughing quietly in the office. These fuckers are whack! Then HR calls me and said my computer has been idle for 13 minutes what’s going on. I shouldn’t have but I did. I roared “I had to shit would you like a picture”! I was really outside smoking a cigarette, but fuck that hateful bitch. My boss thinks they’re pressuring me to resign so there will be no rebuttal. They just don’t understand how fucking hard headed and stubborn I am. Just ask my wife and she will confirm that statement. 🙄

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Our company is having an outing this weekend at a minor league baseball game. Then they tell me they’re catering a buffet style lunch and they’re going to have a keg. Okay bear in mind we’re in the construction business and the majority attending are roughneck field guys that like to drink and hoot and holler. People are bringing the kids and wives and I’m just thinking not a good idea to provide beer. Jen said first sign of a fight and we out. 😂 I was hoping for a team building event like a ropes course where we have to work together to achieve a goal, but whatever. It better not be some shit like Old Milwaukee or Natty Daddy or even Coors Light 🤮

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It’s official

My wife turned in here papers and has a meeting with the district HR person for early retirement. She’s done and done and has no regrets. Shes getting no support, she’s done with the discipline problems going unpunished, and completely done with the lack of parental participation and interaction. Shes especially done after the viral video of that fuckhead little bastards slapping the shit out of a teacher twice and walking away with three misdemeanor charges and the school district (which is one county over) will not back this teacher. She has enough time in to receive partial benefits and she’s good with it. The glorious state of NC education did not recognize her years with a charter school because back then the state considered them private schools 🙄 Anyway she’s planning on keeping her contract work and searching for something other than teaching. Sad! Not because she’s my wife, but because she’s an excellent teacher that has always put the kids first. NC has a major shortage of teachers and we’re still the bottom of the barrel in the US for this very reason and the state government just doesn’t care anymore so fuck them. They’re loss. It will be refreshing not seeing her stressed the fuck out working until 10 p.m. every night and on weekends.

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I arted today.

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I swept the front porch and was engulfed in a yellow dust cloud. I immediately started sneezing my ass off as the neighbors came walking by pushing their little six month old daughter in her stroller. Every time I sneezed their little girl would laugh and scream like babies do. It was hilarious. Glad I could be the Saturday entertainment kiddo.

#thanks spring

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Hanging baskets from Dollar Tree for my impatiens. Yes I’m a plant whore.

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My brother just called to tell me a good friend well more like a brother passed last night. I’m so tired of getting notified that another person I know has died. He said the trio is broken meaning the three “arns”. Another friend was Karen, then Barron, and me Darren. Barron’s neighbor was from South Carolina and pronounced our names Darn, Barn, and Karn so we were known as the arns. I’m sad because this guy is so fucking cool. Sad.

#fuck cancer

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I just got a jury summons. This is the fucking ninth time since I was 18 that I’ve been called and I’m so fucking pissed because I know at least 20 people that have never been called ever! The last fucking time I missed being selected for grand jury by one person which is one week a month for a year. And worst yet the one that was chosen for grand jury was a friend and was sequestered and spent 90 days in a crack house hotel with three cops watching every move. Fuck that!! One time I was chosen and the trial was a child sexual abuse case that the prosecution was going to show videos of a grandfather touching his granddaughter…… NOPE! I protested and got called to chambers. I said if you have videos then why the fuck am I here? Excused! This fucking infuriates me!

#the judges always had that bullshit speech about it’s an honor to be selected to do your civic duty #I just want to stand up and scream civic duty my asshole motherfucker #and then throw in wasting all day for some dick bag to take a plea deal

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Three other coworkers that were supposed to attend the training today showed up 25 minutes late and the instructor went the fuck off and in his words said “no no no just fucking go away I mean you’re done get the fuck out”! I was supposed to ride with these jug heads, but decided to drive my own car. Glad I did because they’re possibly going to be fired tomorrow. Oh another guy kept answering his phone and the instructor sent him out too. Me? I’m a good employee and kept my mouth shut and did what was expected. 😁

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CPR and First Aid training this morning at the corporate office. The instructor asked if I had ever trained with dummies before and I said “Oh sure I’ve done mouth to mouth with lots of dummies in my life”! She laughed and said she was calling my wife about that. I told her my wife has other names rather than “dummies” for those folks. Now I’m certified again. She also asked if I’ve had to perform CPR on a person in distress before. Yes twice, one made it and the other didn’t so that’s all I’ll say about that.

Hope y’all’s Thursday is going good.

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Looking at bios on FaceBook of people I went to school with and many of them have “retired from UPS” or “retired from USPS”. Some retired at 50 years old. Man was I a fucking dumbass. I should’ve been a mail man. I’d be posting pics of the fucking fish I caught 10 minutes ago, but instead I’m just sitting here bitching about work.