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Father John Yogurt was defrocked from the clergy today for being asexual, following a papal ruling that "vows of chastity don't count without temptation." The Pope later commented "You gotta have that dog in you"

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Okay honey, let me teach you a fucking “speedrun strat”. It’s called “Electricity Bill Skip Skip”, and it saves a couple minutes over “Electricity Bill Skip”, because it means that our fucking power doesn’t get shut off

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sci fi is about one thing and one thing only.....actors throwing themselves around a room to simulate the ship being hit

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[image ID: a screenshot from the cookie manager in firefox. it shows that tumblr.com had created 48 cookies worth 2.5 GB. /end ID]

so i figured out why tumblr's been loading so slowly for me. what the fuck.

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the universal college experience, no matter your major, is learning how remarkably fucked everything is. except business majors theyre having a great time learning to do basic arithmetic and and staring at that one supply and demand graph where the line goes up

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Me when I use the blender that makes 50% of all turtles feel immeasurable pain

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To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

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never getting over how genuinely distressed tai lung looks when po does his shuffling trick. mid fight this man stops and panics because he cant figure out a childrens magic trick

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woko thief of pronouns

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this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018