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this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

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seeing trans people in public is like encountering an angel in the produce aisle. you understand

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villain: *takes an intimidating step towards the protagonist, leaning over them* oh, you haven't even SEEN how boobily i can breast

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I present to you a proud and silly goose 🌈🪿

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you are 16. you are talking with a gay man in his 50s or 60s, a friend, huge and gentle with a scarf and short fluffy curls of gray hair, who has directed you in two plays staged in your mid-size artsy town. (he has not yet asked you to be in his production of The Laramie Project which will change your life. this conversation will also change your life.)

he is talking about theatre. he is talking about theatre when he was younger. he says, "of course, it was AIDS then." in the pause, you ask him. clumsy and quiet and 16 and "straight," you ask him. what was it like.

he takes a moment in which his face is not like a person's face. "there was a time," he says, "i'm not sure how long, years. when i went to a funeral every weekend." he tells you about two funerals in a day, and choosing between friends when you couldn't make it to both. he does not look at you, he looks at them. his wet grey gaze is so clear that you start to see ghosts. it will be years before you understand why it feels like your grief too. why the ghosts call you family.

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i wrote this story to help my grandma understand why deadnaming and misgendering me in her memories of me as a little kid makes me upset:

imagine a kid named jade whose athletic parents insisted that she, too, was destined to be a star athlete. since birth jade was made to participate in sports. at first she didn't question it, always doing her best because she didn't know that she even *could* do anything else.

but jade grew miserable. even though she was having some success in sports, every practice grew to feel like a form of torture. it just wasn't the way she wanted to live. she always dreamed to be anything *but* an athlete. she wasn't great in school, but jade found her closest friends in art class.

jade met more and more artists as the years went on and began making her own art.

jade's parents were furious. jade was *destined* to be a great athlete! she had been successful as an athlete so far, so why squander that progress?

to her parents, jade had always been an athlete. to jade, she had always been miserable. jade was tired of misery, so jade started making art full time and practically abandoned sports.

she liked to hike or rollerskate with friends occasionally, and she did stretches-- to prevent carpal tunnel-- but jade *never* felt like an athlete.

now, even though jade's parents have grown to accept their kid as an artist, her parents still insist that she used to be an incredible athlete. but when jade hears that, she only feels her incredible misery. even though it may have looked like she was a happy athlete on the outside before. even though people used to call her an athlete all the time and she wouldn't complain. she had always just smiled and moved on.

these days, jade would really rather be stung by a bee than be referred to as an athlete. it wasn't going to kill her, but it hurt, especially with repetition.

jade likes to think of her younger self as an artist yet to be awakened, whose muse was the turmoil that she faced every day pretending to be an athlete. she never knew for sure that *art* would be her calling until it happened, but to jade it seemed only natural.

she isn't ashamed of her past. jade can comfortably talk about the people she knew and the things she did, especially when those memories aren't related to sports. but most of the time, as long as she *was* playing sports, she never really felt like herself.

when other people call jade an athlete, or even recall their memories of her "as an athlete," jade feels a little more trapped in the past, in her so-called "destiny," and she loses a little hope for her future as an artist.

however, jade is lucky to have two very good friends: sam (they/them) and desmond (he/him). all three of them grew up the same way, but they all have different boundaries.

sam really enjoyed being an athlete for a while, and settled on art later. they have no problem being referred to as a former athlete and they still enjoy playing sports sometimes, though they are definitely more of an artist now.

desmond, however, is so troubled by his past being forced into playing sports that he never even wants to talk about it, let alone ever be referred to as an athlete. for him, it's like having an intense allergic reaction to being stung by a bee.

sam and desmond deeply understand the challenges that jade has gone through. though it rarely comes up, sam and desmond always talk about jade's youth as the the harrowing beginnings of a young artist--just the way jade sees it. that always makes her feel a little safer with them and a little more confident in herself.

the past can't be changed, but we can change the way we think about the past. for jade, part of respecting who she is as an artist is for anyone who knows her to think of her present as inevitable--from the start. her real "destiny" is happening: she's an artist! and she was always meant to be one.

jade hopes that one day her parents can learn to understand, or at least respect her boundaries about her past. until then, however, she'll expect to endure getting stung whenever she comes to visit.

#trans ref #trans allegory #trans #transphobia #relatives #story #allegory

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Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

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Something silly and soft for the soul

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kissing you on the forehead

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“I cleared the rubble from Israeli airstrikes, tilled the soil, and planted seeds. This is our home, our land. Everything will return more beautiful than before.”

Yahya Bashir, Gaza

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About Gaza Funds

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rotting

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"I don't want to read this" is totally valid.

"This is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

"I don't want to read this because it is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

"I don't think anyone should be allowed to read or write this because it is disgusting to me" is authoritarian.

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They’re boyfriends 🥰

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my fatal flaw is that if i don't want to do something i just won't do it like mama raised a quitter for sure.. i'll be doing something and suddenly be like damn what if i just didn't 🤔. very freeing but also i suffer so many consequences

#ah yes #my partner does this #<333

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