nookr

[nookr]

my partner and i both had top surgery by now, but there's a different struggle now

because of my funnel chest there's a bit of a vacuum between our chests when they lie on top of me. and it makes fart noises when we move

and we both think it's way too funny

i'm in a relationship and my partner is nonbinary and we both recently realised that both of us wanting top surgery but still having boobs makes cuddling comfortably almost entirely impossible, since neither of us wants to make the other dysphoric in any way so we just try to avoid each other's chest as best as we can. which sucks when you try to get as close to each other as possible, while cuddling :'D

#personal

[nookr]

Folks, it has happened again on another job I applied for.

[nookr]

ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.

ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week

#*sigh* #yeah

[nookr]

#fave #heh

[nookr]

I’m falling, I’m sinking

…Did you miss me?

#bbc sherlock

[nookr]

tbh the character i relate to most in bbc sherlock is the old lady that says jim’s voice is so soft and then dies.

#bbc sherlock

[nookr]

already did. unfortunately, she's not even surprised

man, i have a job at my university and today i had to fill in for a professor and take care of a seminar. it's just a listening comprehension thing were we watch two epsiodes of a show and then the students have to take a quiz on it.

and oh boy... we watched heartstopper and i thought, it's gonna be cute, wholesome and just overall nice. but damn, straight people watch that really differently than queer people. they were laughing the whole time and just making fun of the main characters and it was just horrible

and these were adults watching that, mind you. they're all university students. i immediately started feeling super unsafe teaching that seminar today, being queer myself.

aww man

[nookr]

the first two...

they even laughed when ben basically assaulted charlie and i just sat there, absolutely mortified

man, i have a job at my university and today i had to fill in for a professor and take care of a seminar. it's just a listening comprehension thing were we watch two epsiodes of a show and then the students have to take a quiz on it.

and oh boy... we watched heartstopper and i thought, it's gonna be cute, wholesome and just overall nice. but damn, straight people watch that really differently than queer people. they were laughing the whole time and just making fun of the main characters and it was just horrible

and these were adults watching that, mind you. they're all university students. i immediately started feeling super unsafe teaching that seminar today, being queer myself.

aww man

[nookr]

man, i have a job at my university and today i had to fill in for a professor and take care of a seminar. it's just a listening comprehension thing were we watch two epsiodes of a show and then the students have to take a quiz on it.

and oh boy... we watched heartstopper and i thought, it's gonna be cute, wholesome and just overall nice. but damn, straight people watch that really differently than queer people. they were laughing the whole time and just making fun of the main characters and it was just horrible

and these were adults watching that, mind you. they're all university students. i immediately started feeling super unsafe teaching that seminar today, being queer myself.

aww man

#personal #heartstopper #queer teacher #i guess #man this sucked

[nookr]

I hope Nael knows their poem made me cry

#the tiger's out... #love this so much #fave

[nookr]

this is my chest 9 days post-op :)

my nipples are still a bit crusty, but my doctor is very happy with how they're healing. my left side is still a little swollen but it's getting better. incisions look a bit crooked in the middle but they're actually straight, they just look that way because of my funnel chest

#top surgery #ftm #personal #pectus excavatum #funnel chest

[nookr]

drains are out and they're sending me home soon

i finally (after waiting for two and a half years) had top surgery, a couple days ago

and when i came out of surgery i was just indifferent, which didn't surprise me bc i read alot about other people's experiences with it. my chest was flat now, yeah but i didn't get to see it yet and so it was just a thought that i didn't spend much time on when trying to sleep off the after effects of anesthesia

the first night after surgery i had to be rushed into emergency surgery bc there was severe secondary bleeding in the right side of my chest and they had to get the blood out quickly. my chest was so swollen it looked like they just left half the boob in there but it was all blood that pooled there and the drains couldn't handle the amount

i woke up groggy and in pain and just felt horrible after that. for the next two days i thought about why i was doing this to myself and how i got myself in this situation and if it was actually worth it

this morning they changed my bandages and i got to see my, not swollen, chest for the first time. the joy i felt when i saw how flat it was and how good the incisions looked and how well i was healing, despite the emergency surgery, was so great, that the pain i felt just a couple nights ago was forgotten. my doctor saw me grinning from ear to ear and just told me it looks really good

it's not perfect yet, obviously, i'm only 4 days post-op. but even though it's still bruised and crusty, it feels so much like home in a way that my old chest didn't

and i'm glad

#top surgery #personal #my face #ftm

[nookr]

i finally (after waiting for two and a half years) had top surgery, a couple days ago

and when i came out of surgery i was just indifferent, which didn't surprise me bc i read alot about other people's experiences with it. my chest was flat now, yeah but i didn't get to see it yet and so it was just a thought that i didn't spend much time on when trying to sleep off the after effects of anesthesia

the first night after surgery i had to be rushed into emergency surgery bc there was severe secondary bleeding in the right side of my chest and they had to get the blood out quickly. my chest was so swollen it looked like they just left half the boob in there but it was all blood that pooled there and the drains couldn't handle the amount

i woke up groggy and in pain and just felt horrible after that. for the next two days i thought about why i was doing this to myself and how i got myself in this situation and if it was actually worth it

this morning they changed my bandages and i got to see my, not swollen, chest for the first time. the joy i felt when i saw how flat it was and how good the incisions looked and how well i was healing, despite the emergency surgery, was so great, that the pain i felt just a couple nights ago was forgotten. my doctor saw me grinning from ear to ear and just told me it looks really good

it's not perfect yet, obviously, i'm only 4 days post-op. but even though it's still bruised and crusty, it feels so much like home in a way that my old chest didn't

and i'm glad

#top surgery #ftm #transgender #mastectomy #double incision #personal

[nookr]

i love digesting lactose it’s so easy to do

#:(

[nookr]

My contempt towards a brand is directly proportional to how often they interrupt my playlists.

#you know you can check the barcodes of products #the first half usually corresponds to the factory it was produced in or the manufacturer #at least in europe #so usually you can compare a can of ravioli from Aldi to one of Edeka #and if the first half of the barcode is the same #it was produced in the same factory #and the aldi version is significantly cheaper than the brand #putting that out there bc i just learned about that two weeks ago

[nookr]

okay you know that one game you’d play on the playground with friends where one person was designated as the “watcher” and everyone had to move around when the watcher wasn’t looking, and freeze if they were? and if the watcher caught you moving you were out of the game?

please rb for sample size 💔💔

#ochs am berg #or ox on the hill in english #don't know why we called it that but that's just that

[nookr]

#i sort of sat them down and told them?? #it was during an argument with my mom about what i was gonna wear to prom #because i didn't want to wear a dress and my mom asked me why i can't just be like the other girls #and then it kinda slipped out that i'm not a girl haha #and then she told my dad #additionally to that conversation we talked about my sexuality but my label for that changed in the last couple years #used to say i'm gay then bi then gay again #now i just say i'm queer bc labels are confusing as hell