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Bruce, born to be the father of an only daughter; forced to be the father to several unruly sons.

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Obsessed with little Lima Bean Baby Dami. I feel like Bruce would pass out from cuteness if he witnessed his child looking like that.

Talia should send Damian's baby pics to Bruce lol

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So, when you leave me, I should die I deserve it, don't I?

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Someone: Boop! Got your autism.

Damian: You better give me that back, that was a gift from my father.

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Damian living up to Dick's example, showing kindness to people, because that's what Robin's legacy is, and HIS LITTLE FACE as she compliments him for being so nice, is EXACTLY the kind of Damian feelings I come to comic books for. JUST LOOK AT HIS ADORABLE LITTLE FAAAAAACE.

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I will vanish in the morning light; I was only an invention of darkness. 

Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; from ‘The Lady of the House of Love’

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clark grounds jonathan from his phone, and promptly receives a message from damian saying.

"Clark,

I am aware of the need for consequence in a child's upbringing. However, Jon and I have important matters to attend to, which you have interrupted by disallowing his use of a mobile device. I do not deem it necessary to inform you of the explicit details of those matters, but you must know that they are of an urgent nature.

May I have you reminded of who carries the Green K on them at all times, and whom that could be fatal to.

Regards, Damian"

bruce actually laughs when clark shows him.

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Part 17 masterpost

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Bro got so jacked between seasons 1 and 2… that’s what dilf energy does to you

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Some Justice Leaguer: so who’s the most likely among you to turn into a supervillain?

Tim: well, Damian, obvio—

Everyone else, simultaneously: IT’S TIM

Tim: wait what? I would’ve figured at least one of you would say Jason

Dick: Timber how many war crimes did you commit yesterday

Tim:

Tim:

Tim: four

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*All the batboys have plans to see a concert in Gotham, but there’s an Arkham break out so now all hands are on deck*

Jason: Oh, great.

Tim: I hate my life.

Bruce: Look, guys, I know how much you were looking forward to seeing that show. But there will be other concerts.

Dick: No there won’t. The fact that this one’s happening is a miracle. Nobody good ever comes here because we keep killing each other.

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Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

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Jason: so uh. I called B dad the other day? It just felt right in the moment? And he got all teary eyed and then hugged me? But I haven't seen him since then???

Dick: hmm. Yeah. Totally unrelated, but how much do you weight?

Jason: Uh. 240-250 ish?? Why??

Dick: give him another week or so, he's getting there.

Meanwhile Bruce in the cave:

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me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home: