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Varric: Wanna talk about what’s got you so gloomy, Chuckles? Might do you some good to get it off your chest.

Solas: I told her the vallaslin her dead Keeper gave her is actually a slave marking

Varric: ....

Solas: ....

Varric: Yeah okay you’re an asshole

#✎▐ out of crossbows #rises from the dead just 2 post this

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arsuledin:

        ❝ I merely reflect what I see in the Fade, Varric. I do not take credit for what I have seen. ❞ Though subtle and done with grace, Solas reels back and turns to look anywhere else other than the dwarf with a gleam in his eyes. In a way, Varric was right. When it came to anything… physical between him and the Inquisitor, his words seemed to stumble over each other as if fools drunk on sweet wine. But it wasn’t because of what Varric believed it to be; it was because Solas knew that his connection to Rhiall will only end in bitterness, and yet he pursued her anyway. ❝ And what of you, Varric? Do you not think of your lost love? Of the crossbow you carry? Perhaps you have more in common with me than you think. ❞

And that stops Varric in his tracks. He blinks at Solas for a couple of seconds, taken aback—not that he’s upset, but it still feels like a slap in the face. It always is, when Bianca’s the topic of conversation.

Luckily he’s been slapped in the face enough times he’s used to it. 

More importantly, this conversation has gone in a direction that tells him a lot more about Solas than it does himself. After all, Varric already knows everything there is to know about himself. The only person here with secrets to give up is the elf.

“Yeah, well, perhaps you should watch how you word things, Chuckles. You start saying shit like that, people start figuring things out about you that maybe you didn’t want to share.” He leans back against the desk, crossing his arms. “I didn’t think it was that bad until you started comparing you and her to me and Bianca. But see, you do that, and now the cat’s out of the bag and I gotta ask. What’s really going on with you two?”

#✎▐ ic #arsuledin #solas: but what about bianca #varric: I mean I wasn't going to go there but now that you've gone there why the fuck did you go there

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arsuledin:

      He should have known Varric would ask such a thing, but it doesn’t seem to stop the jolt that pinches his spine and furrows his brows. It is, of course, the perfect moment for the dwarf to slip in a deft hand and steal the book, if not for Solas snapping out of it within seconds. ❝ Ah! ❞ He retracts his hand along with the book and then hides it behind his lower back. ❝ That is none of your business, Child of the Stone. Are any of your stories based off ideas of your own creation, or simply taken from your daily adventures? ❞

Damn. Varric snorts and leans back, folding his arms, a bemused grimace tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Are any of yours? I’m not gonna pretend to know how the Fade works, but you always talk about how it’s a reflection of the real world. Stories are like that, too; a smart writer knows that the best stories are all around him.” An eyebrow goes up. “Like yours. You’re besotted and practically tripping all over yourself because you don’t know what to do with it. I get secondhand embarrassment watching you. Hasn’t anybody ever taught you how to charm a lady? Because you don’t do it by skirting around her like a frightened cat.”

#arsuledin #nah varric doesn't understand the meaning of 'none of your business' #✎▐ ic

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arsuledin:

      For once, Solas does not interrupt the other with a scathing remark. He simply stares for an unnervingly long time. When it comes time for him to speak, he slips a thumb between the pages to open it up on a specific page, to stare at one specific paragraph. ❝ This, here: ‘Bare your soul to me, Lethallan. I have been without the touch of another for so long. Just this once.’ On a table, no less. You realize there will be repercussions, do you not? And the act would not occur there, of all places. ❞

See, that’s the kind of look that makes a guy think he’s about to get vaporized on the spot. Cue a long, uncomfortable silence and a hard swallow.  “My editor may have... taken some liberties....

He coughs. Then he keeps talking, because how else is he going to keep the man distracted while he slowly reaches for that damn book? “Enlighten me, Chuckles. Not on the table? Then where? You sound awfully invested. Got your own thoughts on that subject?”

#✎▐ ic #arsuledin #rhi loudly from upstairs where she's sitting in dorian's armchair listening to all this: YEAH SOLAS WHERE

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arsuledin:

@nicecrossbow based off this.

❝ Cole has shown me your latest work, Varric. Am I to assume that the elves on the cover are meant to represent me and the Inquisitor? ❞

“That? No. No!” Nervous laughter. Shit. Should’ve known, the kid’s got a big mouth and that little novella is everywhere. “That’s...the completely unrelated adventures of Lethallan and Silas. Honestly, the reviewers all say it’s garbage, you probably shouldn’t even read it.” Did the editors leave that scene on the table in chapter twelve? Did he write a scene on the table in chapter twelve? He can’t remember. Shit. Shit. 

#✎▐ ic #'so the bald sparkle was distracting and the editor said to convert all the muscles to tits' #and that's how varric died #arsuledin

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       To conquer, you must endure        not just your own suffering        but the suffering of others.

#✎▐ promo #there r aspects of having this sideblog that im a lil salty about ngl but I will use this power for good

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someone: garrett hawke

me, a person who is vaguely attempting to write varric: ????? ?? who??? is that

#✎▐ out of crossbows #I forget on the reg that the option to play a dude in da2 exists #Marian is the default in my head and I'm. not really sorry for that #considering 75% of fandom defaults to Garrett #Garrett? Who's Garrett? Varric doesn't know him #I'm kidding Varric would know him if I ever interacted w/ a Garrett but that's not happening in the foreseeable future b/c #I don't interact w/ any on my main

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asomniari:

arsuledin:

      ❝ It is merely a symptom of all the tree bark he has consumed, Master Tethras. His behavior is nothing to concern yourself with. He’s harmless to all but your ears. ❞

“I hate to tell you, tree bark doesn’t make you act strange.”

“You see? Sticks is weird and a botanist, he knows what I’m talking about.”

#✎▐ ic #asomniari #arsuledin #listen i didn't cut this all the way because i feel like it needs the context #HIJACKS BACK

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arsuledin:

      ❝ Colorful. I am surprised you still yet stand, durgen’len. ❞ Then again, he was a dwarf. ❝ It is… surprising that you would think so, considering the company you kept in Kirkwall. Your books are informative, if not a little grandiose.  ❞

“You read my book and found that weird? No, see, you’ve got it all wrong. Darkspawn blowing holes in the sky? That’s the weird shit. A ragtag bunch of misfits just trying to keep it all together in Kirkwall? Politics blowing up in everybody’s face? That happens all the time.

So again: your friends are weird. Mine are completely normal.”

#✎▐ ic #arsuledin #varric: listen kirkwall was wild but it was a natural disaster of the human condition #but have you looked??? around you????

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y’all found Varric!! that was quick. I’d like to note, if you haven’t read what I put on his info page, that Varric is a sideblog to this blog and is super private and super unavailable for interactions with anybody besides friends. I’d also like to note that I’m not really making exceptions like…at all.

p.s. as a matter of personal preference, if you’re only following me on Varric, I’m not gonna follow back from my main.

p.p.s. this does not mean ‘follow my inquisitor to get to the dwarf’ it means ‘you probably shouldn’t follow me if we’re not in mutuals on my main’

#as a side note I really truly don't have a problem w/ people who don't wanna interact w/ my inquisitor like. you do you #the only thing I have a problem w/ is people who don't wanna interact w/ my Inquisitor but expect me to play Varric for them all the same #I'm way more invested in my main and that's how it is. This one I made just for friends

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arsuledin:

      ❝ It is merely a symptom of all the tree bark he has consumed, Master Tethras. His behavior is nothing to concern yourself with. He’s harmless to all but your ears. ❞

“Chuckles, I once lost a bet and had to drink an entire bottle of Alvarado’s Bathtub Boot Screech that didn’t make me do that. I think you just have weird friends.”

#✎▐ ic #arsuledin #says the man who spent 10 years hanging around the da2 crew like #have you looked in a mirror lately

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@arsuledin @asomniari

“Am I missing something? Is this some weird elven idiom I don’t know about?

—Testicles as a friendship metaphor. Andraste’s ass, I don’t know why I go places with you people, and yet somehow, here we are.”

#✎▐ ic #arsuledin #asomniari #surprise it me

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Bull being all fatherly about his chargers

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eggsaggeration

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trying to romance varric be like 

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Varric: We shouldn’t have come. I knew it. We shouldn’t have come. Hawke: We had to. There’s safety in numbers. Varric: Well, there’s also death in numbers, Hawke — it’s called a massacre.