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nhl-stories · 1 day
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here’s a cute and funny story for y’all <3
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nhl-stories · 2 days
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ship of theseus? no. jockstrap of sidney crosby.
sidney's whole thing around his superstitions and rituals is all around this standard he holds to himself, right, that if everything is the same and there are minimal external variables that even have a chance of influencing the game, then his success or fail is attributed solely to his abilities. the win or the loss comes down to how he plays - no room for excuses....
that's why he his equipment stays as much the same as possible, right - the skate shoes, the underarmour, the freaking jock....repair over and over and over again, keep it the same
but just like the ship of theseus, the paradox is "whether or not a ship that had all of its components replaced one by one would remain the same ship," -> Dana Heinze in 2007 about Sidney's stupid zombie jock telling everyone that "everytime we make an adjustment to this, we have to keep a piece of the original cup"
AT WHAT POINT IS IT NOT THE ORIGINAL CUP ANYMORE. IS THE RITUAL AND SUPERSTITION NOT IN KEEPING THE ORIGINAL EQUIPMENT, BUT IN THE ACT OF REPAIR??? could we not argue that it is not the same pre-rimouski cup anymore that he wanted to keep? did it not stop being the same once every part has been replaced at least once??? is the superstition now simply the act of keeping it for as long as possible and replacing it eternally for as long as possible, like how deep-sea jellyfish are eternal????
let it finally rest, sidney, please god let it rest. it's not about it's weary, physical bones anymore. you can let it rest in wholeness - the spirit of it will not die. your ritual of it is not about its physical presence anymore...your superstition is in the constant, frankenstein-esque revival of its soul......
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nhl-stories · 4 days
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extremely on brand matthew celly™️, draped over a goalie in the crease (x)
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nhl-stories · 4 days
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this has to be the funniest thing I've seen today 😂
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nhl-stories · 4 days
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so true, annie guglia
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nhl-stories · 5 days
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I have a spinoff story in the pipeline and it's been so funny revisiting an old character and world and was curious if anyone would be interested in me doing that more?
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nhl-stories · 7 days
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I have a spinoff story in the pipeline and it's been so funny revisiting an old character and world and was curious if anyone would be interested in me doing that more?
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nhl-stories · 8 days
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I have a spinoff story in the pipeline and it's been so funny revisiting an old character and world and was curious if anyone would be interested in me doing that more?
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nhl-stories · 9 days
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Catch Big Jeff riding off into the sunset in his new whip! The perfect retirement gift for @JeffCarter_77.
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nhl-stories · 9 days
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April 17th 2024 best hockey tweet of the day
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nhl-stories · 9 days
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here are all* the cap/alts for the 23-24 season
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nhl-stories · 10 days
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I'm not crying, you're crying
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nhl-stories · 11 days
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I Have My Own Drawer? – Jeff Skinner
Author’s Note: This is inspired by the ASG making fall in love with this dimpled angel all over again.
Word Count: 1k
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You felt the bed shift and you groaned pulling the covers tighter to you.
Then you heard a thud, “Shit”
“Where are you going?” You turned on the lamp to see your boyfriend Jeff rubbing the shin he ran into the dresser.
“I’m going back to my place so I can pack for the road trip, it’s an early one,” he said while putting on his clothes.
“Why?” You started to get comfy in bed again.
“Because I don’t have any clothes here,” Jeff said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“You have all of that stuff in your drawer,” you flipped over in bed.
“My drawer?”
“Yeah, second to the bottom.”
“I… have a drawer? Here?”
Keep reading
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nhl-stories · 11 days
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April 15th 2024 best hockey tweet(s) of the day
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nhl-stories · 12 days
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that's like 36 hours in the box
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nhl-stories · 12 days
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hornylovesickmess – Nico Hischier
Summary: Marie should know better by now, knows she should leave him alone, but Nico's like a drug. One more hit can't hurt.
Author’s Note: Almost a year to the day I finally finished this album series. Phew! Also lol to me thinking I'd have the motivation to finish it in 10 weeks. Seems clear from the title but it does get steamy below.
Word Count: 2.6k
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Album Series Masterlist
And I don't wanna be the type of person who calls you up Every time I need to get off
The view from her hotel room is taunting her. It’s sunny and bright on the Hudson River, reflecting off the buildings of the New York skyline.
Most people wouldn’t be too upset about being put up in a nice hotel and having 48 hours free in close proximity to the city, but Marie had moved away for a reason.
And still part of her is stuck here, even at a 4-star hotel minutes away from Newark airport.
So, she does what she does best and gives into her baser instincts.
She’s no stranger to crafting the perfect sext, keeping it tantalizing and teasing enough while still giving her location. Like an eloquent ‘u up?’
Marie hits send before she can second guess herself.
She shouldn’t be reaching out to him, grabbing for that loose thread and pulling for her own selfish reasons. But she’s been lonely since the move and in all honestly, just plain horny.
Nico almost swallows his tongue when he opens the text.
At first glance a simple picture of the New York skyline, but at second glance the reflection of a naked woman comes into view.
It might as well be Marie’s calling card.
He regrets opening the text in the locker room.
“What the hell has you that red Neeks?” Bastian calls from his stall.
He can feel the blush getting darker.
“The last time you looked like that was because of that flight attendant,” Bratter calls out.
When he doesn’t respond balls of tape come flying his way with a chorus of groans.
“It’s not like I texted her first!”
“You never text her first,” Jack rolls his eyes.
“I’m not texting her back.”
“Block her number while you’re at it,” Bratt responds.
Nico stashes his phone away and mostly forgets about the text.
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She checks her phone for about the fifth time during drinks with her friends. She knows what they’re thinking, but they’re not gonna say it.
It’s especially kind of them since Nico hasn’t responded. Even though he’s the type of guy to have read receipts on, so she knows he looked at her message.
Her phone buzzes, she pulls it out of her pocket so fast she fumbles it, dropping it on the bar. Her friend snatches it up and laughs.
“It’s a notification from Postmates, you have coupon.”
Marie feels herself flush, embarrassed to be caught like some kind of junkie waiting for their next hit.
“Jesus Christ, just go get laid! You’re unbearable when you’re wound this tight. It’s not even worth the catch up.”
“Fine, I’ll go, but only because I haven’t had sex in months. See you on my next layover.”
“Unless you’re still jonesing for that Jersey dick!”
“It’s Swiss,” Marie sticks her tongue out.
She waves down a cab, and she should give the address to her hotel, but she’s in some sort of horny fugue state. Why go back and masturbate at her hotel thinking about him when she knows his address?
Before she knows it, she’s at his door fixing her hair and trying to lean seductively against the doorframe. Maybe she’s lost her mojo during her recent dry spell.
She knocks before she loses her nerve.
Marie hears someone lumbering along around on the other side of the door. Nico finally answers the door; shirtless with a pair of gray sweats low on his hips, hair flopping about like he just woke up.
Her mouth goes dry at the familiar sight, or maybe she salivates, or somehow both at the same time. She feels so out of sync with her hormones.
But she knows she wants, scratch that, needs.
“Thought maybe the picture just didn’t do the real thing justice,” she smirks even though she kind of wants to grimace at the cheesy line.
“I was trying to let you down easy,” he’s trying to avoid eye contact.
“Well, here I am, easy and ready to be let down on your bed.”
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. She can practically see his willpower crumbling piece by piece.
“C’mon, I haven’t been with anyone else since Denver.”
She dares to reach out, running a finger from his collarbone down, down, down, until Nico grabs her wrist.
“Just–“ he yanks her into the apartment, “get in here.”
Marie is flush against his chest now, she smirks, “that’s more like it.”
“Your picture got me in trouble in locker room, the boys think you’re no good for me.”
“Do you want me to be good for you?” She roughly grabs him through his sweatpants.
“I don’t think you could be if you tried,” he ruts against her palm.
She gentles her touch in response, she wants to be good, for Nico at least.
Marie can’t make eye contact now. If she looks up all the guilt of coming here after she promised herself she’d stop will come rushing back. She doesn’t have time for that when she can feel him hardening in her hand.
So, she closes her eyes and kisses him. Lets her tongue explore his mouth. Lets Nico manhandle her towards the bedroom. A path she’s too familiar with even with her eyes closed.
She doesn’t dare open her eyes until she’s flat on her back and hears Nico rummaging in the bedside table. As he comes back up with a condom, Marie works on the too many layers of clothes she’s still wearing.
He rolls on the condom and strokes himself slowly, “Is this you being good?”
Marie spreads her thighs and bites her lip, holding back demands for him to get on with it.
He pushes her legs even farther apart and nearly drapes himself over her. One finger runs up her slit, feeling how slick she is with desperation, he sucks the finger into his mouth and Marie can’t hold on any longer.
“Please, fuck, please,” she grapples for his shoulders anything to anchor her in the moment.
He doesn’t need any more encouragement than that to push in one go.
“Jesus Christ,” Marie gasps at the sudden intrusion, familiar as it is.
He sets an agonizingly slow pace, making her feel every unbearable movement without getting her any closer to her climax.
“C’mon Nico, give it to me,” she whines and clenches around him, trying to egg him on.
But it doesn’t deter him from his mission to tease her death, maybe it’s punishment for how she’s treated him.
She tries to move her own hips for more friction and still Nico keeps with his slow and steady pace.
Marie grabs his hair and makes him look at her, “I swear to god, if you don’t start really fucking me, I’m gonna explode.”
The evil little smirk he gives her, makes her stomach swoop.
“I knew you couldn’t stay good.”
“If being bad means I’ll have an orgasm, I guess I’m the devil,” she pulls him in for a kiss that’s probably too much tongue and teeth but she doesn’t care.
Then Nico takes her by surprise, flipping her onto all fours in such a fluid movement she already feels closer to coming. And that’s before he starts railing her from behind. The slap of skin and pornographic squelching fills the silence in the room.
Marie has lost all her witty words, can barely get enough air to make noises beyond tiny gasps. Nico knows exactly where to thrust, how to grip her hips, tweak her nipples, reach between her thighs and rub her clit. It’s too much, to have your body read like a book.
She clenches around him when she’s almost over the edge and feels him release, one hand tightening so hard on her hips it might bruise.
He blankets his body over her back, kissing her shoulders while he continues to rub her clit, buried deep inside her.
Her arms give out when she finally comes, her body singing with pleasure. Nico’s weight heavy on her, but she can’t bring herself to move him, it all feels too good.
She doesn’t remember when they move apart, or if they clean up at all, or if she peed afterward, she really hopes she at least did the last one. Still, she’s in hazy bliss before she’s rudely awoken from her dream-like state by her alarm obnoxiously ringing, too loudly at that.
She has to get out of the bed to find her phone her jeans pocket.
“Shit, fuck, shit,” she swears before having to put her clothes back on.
Nico’s alarm starts going off now. He sits up to see Marie half-dressed already.
“Of course,” he sounds so disappointed.
“I have a flight to catch and I still have to get my uniform and pack my suitcase.”
“Sure,” he sighs as he starts to get out of bed himself.
She probably deserves this, scratch that she knows she deserves this, but doesn’t mean she won’t defend herself.
“It’s a 9:30 Newark to DFW, look it up” she knows her shirt is inside out but that’s how late she is as she calls an Uber.
“Thanks for last night,” she gives Nico a quick kiss and leaves before he can respond.
Of course, when the elevator opens, Jack is the one standing on the other side, with an exhausted looking boy next to him. It’s probably his brother, Marie’s brain supplies the small Devils knowledge she has.
“That fucking idiot.”
“I showed up here, the blame is on me,” Marie holds her hands up in surrender.
“But the inside shirt and messed up hair is probably on him.”
“Probably can mostly blame me for that too, I know you want to.”
The look of disgust on his face makes that very clear.
Thankfully, the elevator door opens before the torture can continue.
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Marie goes back to rebuilding her resolve. She was trying to quit him cold turkey, not mess up Nico’s perfect little world again.  But she couldn’t resist one more hit of her favorite drug.
Still, the universe isn’t making it easy for her to stay sober.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!”
Marie and her coworkers all jump at the exclamation. When she turns around there’s Jack Hughes.
Nico is nowhere to be seen, so Marie is sure she can get away without making much of a scene.
“Of all the hotels in a city with multiple airports…” Jack doesn’t seem amused at her response, “I’m just as surprised as you, sorry the universe is clearly playing a sick joke on us.”
She runs off to her room before she has a chance encounter with Nico. Begs off from dinner plans with her coworkers. Masturbates in the shower in hopes of taking the edge off.
She’s wound up like a rubber band knowing Nico is so close.  For all she knows, there’s only a wall separating them right now.
And of course, she gives in, because Marie is a fiend and a rotten person. How can she resist when the world laid it out on a platter like this.
She hopes he’s stronger than her and doesn’t respond, but she texts him regardless: I have it on good authority we’re in the same hotel
Marie can barely put her phone down before she gets a response.
Yeah for someone who doesn’t want me interacting with you Jack was quick to gossip
She can hear his tone through the words, hear his husky laugh at his own joke. Her chest feels like it’s squeezing her heart. Makes her act out of character.
Wanna get dinner or drinks or something?
Marie from a few months ago would be nauseous at this kind of proposition, but her present-self feels like she owes Nico… something different.
So, she finds herself tucked into a corner booth at some restaurant Nico says he’s been to before.
And she laughs at his jokes. Brushes her hand over his. Turns a bit soppy looking into his warm brown eyes.
And she knows she made a mistake.
But still, she holds his hand as they walk back to the hotel; swaying back and forth, a little wine-drunk.
Marie walks him to the door like she’s some sort of gentleman at the end of a first date, they both know the connotations are anything but gentlemanly.
“This was nice,” she smiles up at him.
“If you were still in Jersey, we could have nights like this all the time,”
That should deflate her a bit, but she’s made it too far for it to end here with some serious conversation, so she reaches into his pocket to grab his room key and unlock the door, shoving him into the room.
She kisses him, hard and needy. She desperately wants her lips everywhere. She follows that train down his jaw.
“Clearly you want this kind of thing too, or you wouldn’t come crawling to me anytime we’re in the same place,” his hands are bunching up the skirt of her dress.
She bites down on his neck, a little meaner than she should. But it gets him going enough to throw her onto his bed. Her underwear is gone and a finger is pushing into her before she can make any moves.
A second and third are soon to follow. The pressure from his thumb on her clit is enough to make her throw back her head and enjoy the intoxication.
His other hand cups her jaw, makes her open her eyes and look at him.
“This is all I wanted, but you had to be a brat who let me find out you moved by showing up to your empty apartment,” he stops moving his fingers, stops using any pressure.
“I apologized for that,” she whines, desperate and uncaring.
“Did you?” He crooks his fingers just so.
“I gave you a blow job,” Marie grits out.
He raises his brows while he pulls out, leaving her feeling emptier than ever before.
“Fuck.”
The realization crashes over her harder than any orgasm ever could.
She scrambles off the bed throwing on her underwear and grabbing her phone.
“I’m deleting your number.”
“What?”
“I moved to a city that doesn’t even have a hockey team to stay away from you and that’s not even working.”
“You moved because of me?” The crease between his brow is like a canyon.
“You wanted more and I knew I wasn’t– I’m not in a place to give that to you, but fuck! Whatever I’m doing now– I’m just being cruel, aren’t I?”
“I’m not exactly turning you away.”
“Doesn’t mean I should keep using you,” tears she wasn’t expecting start to well up, “Nico you’re worth a lot more than a quick fuck from a flight attendant who happens to be in the same zip code as you.”
Nico just stares at her and Marie knows she has to be the bigger person here.
“You should block me on everything too, don’t give me a way to weasel my way back in.”
Once she’s dressed, she moves towards Nico, moves a strand of hair off his forehead.
She feels like she should say something meaningful, but this isn’t that kind of relationship; Marie made sure of that when she scorched the earth behind her when she left.
She kisses him one last time and hopes she’ll be able to find her next hit in someone else.
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nhl-stories · 15 days
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nhl official stephen hiff’s family and friends all dressed up to celebrate his league debut and first call
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