nextenderwiggin

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orc: my master, if i may give some constructive criticism…

sauron: what do you have to say?

orc: as much as we all love your idea, perhaps giving out shirts with your face on them might be a strange gift. perhaps some other wearable object

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If Christopher Tolkien can survive the existence of the 3rd Hobbit film, you can survive today.

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When he decided on doing a Hobbit sequel, Tolkien chose to make it about the magic ring that Bilbo found. However, he thought about a few other options first:

- the black arrow only temporarily wounded Smaug, who is still alive, and very angry

- Elrond has been kidnapped and the only clue left behind is in moon-letters, which no one can read

- the necromancer was Beorn all along, and now he needs to be stopped

- the Shire kicks Bilbo out for being weird and he needs to find a place to live

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Things that would instantly stop me from watching the Amazon LotR series

adding in things from the movies that doesn’t belong at all

major retcons to the books or Tolkien’s mythology

unnecessary new backstories for characters we already know

a single man bun

[nextenderwiggin]

It's the thot that counts

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Whore

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With age I've come to learn there's more things i don't want to see than not.

I've realized today that among those is wreck it ralph porn

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Honestly with the amount of god tier shit posts I speak i should be recording them here

I'm here to be the shit post you don't want but you need

[nextenderwiggin]

A series of laughs i appreciated

#howls moving castle #manspider #poorlydrawnlines #birds #hans #schniedel

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What weird shit do you witness

#weirdo #tastyaf

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I haven't used this shit in forever

#alonealone

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To the tune of the Spongebob Themesong

oooooohhhhh

Who lives in a Hobbit hole under the ground?

(Bilbo Baggins)

He’s shorter than most, but still kind-of round!

(Bilbo Baggins)

If your journey needs burglars to steal cups and rings

(Bilbo Baggins)

Then knock on his door and just start to sing!

(Bilbo Baggins)

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When you wanna go on an adventure but smaug is dead and sauron is gone and shelob is hiding #fourthageproblems

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Some people: The Silmarillion is a work of such literary significance. 

Me: Obviously Feanor would choose charmander, but would Fingolfin go with squirtle or bulbasaur? What does the text tell us?

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“Farewell,“ they cried, "Wherever you fare till your eyries receive you at the journey’s end!” That is the polite thing to say among eagles. “Eagles are hella cool and flying is awesome, caw caw, stay tight homies,” answered Gandalf, who knew the correct reply.”

[nextenderwiggin]

Remember that minesweeper where you could setting change it from kaboom to kabloom

[nextenderwiggin]

Yeet

I hate being disassociated in a conversation and distracted. It's like . . .

Everyone: *talks and converses*

Me: "*that rug is bubbled the only way to fix it is GET A CAR JACK AND LIFT THAY COUCH*"