neverwatchedtranformersg1
Never Watched Transformers G1
Some nerd who has no idea what they are getting into watching like 100 episodes of robots.
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10: War on Dinobots
Okay so we go to Chip, been a while, looking at the telescope at this meteorite coming to earth and probably destroy it.
So the Bots and Spike get to the lab place and try to see what is up.
Chip says the meteorite is coming tonight and Prime says it could hold energy. It is such a big deal that Prime tells Wheeljack and Ratchet to get the Dinobots.
Megatron is pissed that these small brain idiots got the best of them and tries to make a plan how to manipulate them. He puts Soundwave on the job.
So Soundwave starts a steak-out on the Bots as the meteorite starts coming in.
Pretty shitting meteorite.
Anywayt Prime shoots a fragment off the meter for Wheeljack to test on and tells the Dinobots to guard the rock with no other supervision.
Top idea.
Oh wow Prime is even saying they should even have two more.
Once the kids move out you only want more.
One Dinobot after the Stegosaurus and a pterodactyl.
Well that is pretty cool!
Back to Soundwave, he is making a brainscan on the Dinobots.
Slag- “Me Slag want to fight enemies”
Grimlock- “Optimus strong but Me Grimlock stronger.
Sludge- “Me Sludge obey strongest leader. Always obey.”
As Megatron puts it, Slag is hostile, Grimlock is arrogant, and Sludge is stupid.
Not nice but very well put.
So with the new info Megatron starts making his way to the Dinobots and a fight happens. Dinobots start shooting up the sky as the Megatron tries talking his way out of the situation.
He starts sweet talking them that they are strongest people and as the strongest, they should lead.
Grimlock really gets into this. If Grimlcok be the leader then Prime will fight them, Slag is happy with that, and Sludge is just going with the flow.
And just like that they are now the enemies. Yay plot!
So everyone is going for the idea that Grimlock should be the new leader and that they are going to fight and kill Prime. Meanwhile the Cons take the meteorite and everyone wins.
And back at the base, the Bots are now making up the two other Dinobots, the flying one and the plate back one.
Wheeljack calls Prime to say that the meteorite is very unstable and can explode at an second. Trailbreaker does this....thing and keeps it in a net...
Okay so that is a thing that can happen.
So Prime gets a leg up and tells the Bots to start wrapping it up with the Dinobots.
Spike- “It’s hard to believe I’m actually taking part in the Dino design project.”
Yeah I don’t believe it either.
But now we have Snarl, the plate back Dinobot, and Swoop, the flying Dinobot. And yes I know those are not the right terms to call dinosaurs but it is better that way.
Wheeljack gets Bluestreak, Prowl, Ironhide, and Sideswipe to try to stop them until ya know they got their asses handed to them. Pretty much Wheeljack just asked to fight them cause he wanted to see them get their asses handed to them like they were on butler island. Very thoroughly.
Prowl- “In a really fight we would have creamed them.”
Sure, Prowl, sure.
Prime gets to the original Dinobots to were he gets a warm welcome of getting a shot in the face.
The poor guy he is so genuinely confused and sad...
My boy.
So the fight goes as well as one can except to were Prime gets his butt very wupped. He tried to talk sense into them saying that they are friends but Grimlock says Prime is weak and therefore must be destroyed. So they give him one last shot and he is now in a ditch half dead.
But because he ain’t dead (yay) Grimlock holds off on the final blow because he admits that Prime is stronger than him.
It is kinda sweet to think that his really respects Prime but doesn’t really understand the words to put it in.
The others follow Grimlock’s lead and simply capture Prime. Gimlock calls Megatron saying the they took care on him and now they are off to meet the Cons who btw still have the meteorite and are making the energy cubes.
Starscream, ever the scientist, knows that meteorite is very unstable but Megatron tells him to put a sock in it.
Yeah fuck science. Who needs facts anyway.
Anyway the Dinobots come back and Megaton is very pissed that Prime is still alive and Starscream accuses him of still have the softness of an Autobot slave. Which is replied by Grimlock shooting Starscream in the face.
Ha. That was a little funny.
Back at the Bot base Wheeljack gets a reading on the meteorite and they send the two Dinobots to go deal with it.
Megatron’s energy cubs blow up and Starscream rubs it in his face as he should.
They are both interrupted by the new Dinobots coming in and now we are having a Dinobot showdown. The new guys seem to be doing just a bit better and are totally winning.
That is till the meteorite is starting to really act up and the Cons make a break for it
Prime makes a saving tackle to Grimlock right before the explosion which I don’t doubt will stop them from being enemies.
And I am right as the Cons are defeated and Grimlock is pissed that Megatron made his fight his good leader Prime (he is a good leader) and they all piss off as well.
Grimlock even asks for Prime to forgive him for being jealous! Prime just says that the meteorite is gone but I’ll take that as a yes!
Autobots I learned: 26
Snarl is a plate Dinbot.
Swoop is the new flying Dinobot.
Decpticons I learned: 10
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09: Fire on the Mountain
Another day another episode.
So Cons are at large again and the Bots actually see that before the Cons get the chance to do anything.
“I’m in charge here.”
My boy.
So the Cons, Starscream and Thundercracker, are going after some steel but are stopped by the Autobots, Gears and Trailbreaker.
The Cons trash the place and take the metals, leaving behind the Bots. Trail and Gears go back to base to report what they saw.
The Autobots now have a satellite to see what is going on so that is cool.
So Megatron is now following fairy tales cause he is going after the crystal of power that was in a tomb that of course no one has already gotten to yet.
I wonder if he like tried to go on other treasure hunts, ya know. Like looking for lost cites or great treasures only to met with disappointment.
I think it is a little funny.
So they put the crystal in the steel thing and now they have the power of the earth’s core apparently.
The Autobot satellite gets a reading from Peru and the Cons there making a mess. Megatron blows up the satellite as one would with a new laser cannon.
We see some of the locals who give up some background on this crystal like where it came from and what is it’s purpose.
Oh. Wait, never mind.
It is just evil and shit by old gods that no longer exist.
Cool.
So the weapon works but it is out of commission now cause it melted the metal and Starscream blames Thundercraker who gets pushed off a cliff. Poor guy.
Megatron, Reflector, Soundwave, and Skywing go to get more metal. .
Meanwhile Sideswipe and Wheeljack bring back!!!!!!!!
SKYFIRE!!!!!!
OMG I am so glad to see him!
Of course they only save him now that they need him but hey it is the thought that counts right?
So they start barking orders at him to get the leg up and to get Brawn and Windcharger? Whoever that is.
So they met with the Cons and say they don’t even need Skyfire’s help, so you know very useless. They take them down pretty cool like but Megatron took down Brawn and Windcharger was smart enough to bail and ask for Skyfire for help again.
He and Windcharger comes to the rescue just in time to save Brawn from Megatron in a very dramatic sequence with lots of action throwing 80s music. They head back to base with the info that they need.
It must be really nice to have a Autobot that can turn into a flying mobile for once.
Good boy.
The Bots start to roll out in Peru, with Spike too for some reason, as Skyfire goes to the Inca temple to spy on the Cons.
Prime and his team are going to stop the Cons from stealing more steel (pun) but I have to say Brawn does a really cool move by stealing Megatron’s gun and shooting him. Sweet.
Bee and Spike save the girl we saw earlier and she looks so out of place with all this tech when we literal saw her in a village. Like what is she even doing here? Does she work at the steel factory or something?
Starscream is bitching about babysitting the crystal blah blah and the girl takes Spike and Bee to the temple. Skyfire gets caught by Thundercracker but he got some motives of his own.
Pretty much Thundercracker wants to get back at Starscream for being a bitch to him and get him trouble. But before we can go more into that cool plot, Starscream hears that and shoots Skyfire leaving that plot to a stand still.
Back to the battle the Cons now have their steel and leave the place, but not before shooting a mountain and trying to kill all the humans in the neighboring village. The Bots are about to shoot ALL the rocks away and save the day! Yay?
Spike and Bee are still on the crystal chase with the girl and now a Ravage on their tail. Megaton takes Skyfire’s body inside and when leaving Bee and Spike stumble onto him.
And so we are well three/fourth into this cartoon, you think we are finally going to get an explanation of what the hell is with crystal and how it is so powerful.
Bee- “There’s more energy here than in ten Cybertron energy smelters.”
Girl- “The ancient ones knew many things”
Okay yeah fuck that too I guess.
Spike starts messing with Skyfire and tries to fix him?? Like no... you don’t know what you are doing??? When the hell did you become an Engineer???And Ravage finally comes in and starts a fight with Bee.
The Autobots finally get to where the Cons are who finally finished their giant weapons that shoots deadly lasers. But of course the Bots put up a fight and somehow Spike knows the interworking of a Autobot enough for Skyfire to come back online to help Bee out with Ravage.
Both both get out of the temple and that tips the tides of the battle
“AIN’T NO ONE CALLING ME A ROBOT CHICKEN.”
Trust me if you were this show would have a very different rating.
So Brawn and Windcharger finally get to the top of the temple and take down Megatron and his gun of doom as we get a cool fight scene again with lots of destruction to ancient temples. Like most America TV shows.
Prime gets to throw Megatron off a building and the Cons call in a retreat to were even Thundercracker gets one last say.
“What the matter fearless leader, you and Starscream look real geeky. Maybe the Autobots ain’t such wimps after all.”
And that is were I learned where Thundercraker got his name as he makes a thunder noise.
Wheeljack makes a top to stop the energy from coming out the temple that work and that Bots make a pretty light show.
Everyone is so shocked that it work like???? He is smart??? Literally his job???
The Girl offers Bee a date with a car and it ends with a laugh. Yay!
Autobots I learned: 24
Windcharger is grey with red limbs
Decpticons I learned: 10
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08: S.O.S. Dinobots
I got a good feeling about this one.
So there are some earthquakes and Slideswip thinks it is Rumble being a little shit again. Ironhide uses his whatchimicallit to see what is behind that and find.... surprise, its bones!
Spike explains that they are dinosaur bones and Wheeljack takes a good interest in them. Prime agrees and we cut to a waterfall were Shockwave is taking pics.
Why are you taking pacs if you have a literal camera right next to you?
Anyway they have their data and they do they bullshit flying away that I still do not understand.
The Autobots take a field trip to the museum and I am so glad that the 80s cartoons say fuck it to secret identities and actually have the robots out in the open cause the human reactions are great.
“Wow that is what I call heavy metal” Priceless.
So Spike show Hound the Brontosaurs, the Three horned one, and the T-Rex.
Hound makes holograms to see what they looked like and Wheeljack says how great it would be if they could have dinosaurs for for them. Hmmm. Wonder what is going to happen next. Ratchet agrees to help make robot dinosaurs nad Prime says go for it.
And hey it is that negative nancy that I don’t know again.
“It will never work. Big waste of time.”
Anyway Wheejack gets everyone to help him in making some Bots.
Is this how transformers are made? Like are these going to be transformers or are they going to be just robots with no independent thought?
We go to Megatron who is talking about taking some source of energy and Starscream is giving him sass about how that has never worked ever. Megatron tells him to shut up and go attack the wallfalls we saw earlier.
Wheeljack just finished the Dinobots and they are really cool.
There is Grimlock who is the Rex, Slag who is the three horned, and Sludge is the Long neck.
So the purple Negative Nancy starts talking some shit and Ratchet sets them to transform into their dino form.
Of course Cliffjumper asks what else they can do beside being robots. Wheeljack and Ratchet tell them to clean up the rubble around them... with fire. Of course.
Wheeljack admits that they are idiots and that is when they start to go berserk and start attacking people. The Bots start shooting back but these fuckers are pretty touch as Grim starts making his way to the control room.
Bee and Spike, for whatever reason, go to stop him. Thanks Spike but you are not going to be much help.
Just like I said no help, as Grim shoots Teletram One and the places starts to blow. Goodbye Autobot base I guess.
Bee scitdaddles out of there and Ratchet gets to the scene to help Bee.
I think it is a little funny that Bee is hurt but Ratchet goes help Teletram One .
Back to the others, the Dinobots are still kicking ass as they are apparently fucking invincible with lasers and fires. Prime decides to say fuck this and is ready to destroy them till Wheeljack uses his magnetic inductor to stop them.
So with one blast they are out. Wheeljack asks fro Prime’s forgives to not kill the guys for whatever reason but Prime is saying that hell no they are fucking insane and so with they they are deactivation and but behind a wall.
Ya know for safety reasons.
So the Cons are shooting at humans and stealing energy like they do but the humans are unable to cal Teletram One as he is out of commission leaving the humans to deal with the Cons on their own. I.E. loosing.
Spike and Hound are going around looking for any calls for humans and luckily found the one that the Cons were causing. Hound made a holograms about the mess and calls for backup.
Primes tells them to transform expect Bee cause he has to stay and guard the dead ship. Poor boy.
But the Cons are making their cubes out of the endless energy from the falls. Megatron brags about some trap he made for the Bots.
So the Bots get there and for some reason Prowl turns into a car yet he is a robot in the next scene?
What the hell?
Okay so Prowl talks some shit about Hound and no one is amused, like literally no one.
This was their actual reaction. Like geez guys. I know this ain’t funny but lighten up ya know.
The Cons comes out of nowhere, literally, and they star having a shooting out. Starscream and Cliffjumper have some good banter. Gear can’t decide on his colors. Ah, nothing like 80s fights.
Thundercraker maybe? “Nice shooting if you were aiming for the sky.”
Megatron and Rumble start a team attacks than includes the ground breaking and a gun (perfect combo) and the Bots have fallen into the river. Spike watches helplessly from the sidelines.
Lucky for us Bee decides to disobey orders this one time to come and help. Spike gets picked up by him and they both go to get help.
Starstar asks what know cause obviously there are not dead and Megatron pretty says to wait cause he want to gloat or whatever rather than ya know kill his enemies.
Bee and Spike go back to base and Ratchet and Wheel say that they cant find Prime and the others. Wheeljack cuts to the chase to show the upgrade he made for the Dinobots, making them smatter and shit. But Bee wusses out saying that Prime decrees for them to never be activate.
“Got any better ideas?” translation, “Shut the fuck up BumbleBee. I made three goddamn Dinobots out of the scraps of this planet with my energon blood, energon sweat, and energon tears and you expect me to put two inches of dirt on them and forget about my children. Nuh-uh, no way, we are putting these on and we are going to fuck. shit. up.”
So they put on the smart hats and get ready to turn them on.
Wheelajcks tells them to save the Auotbots slowly and they actually respond.
“Save friends.” Good “Save leader.” Yes good, good. “Maybe we should.” Yes you should “We do as told. For now.” ...
Well I guess that is close enough.
So the Autbots are in some energy chinas???
New paint job Prime?
Cause you know it is important to waste your time tying up your enemies rather than actually shooting them.
Megaton readies to fire then daudaudhda the Dino bots come in!
Slag- “Which one friends?”
Sludge- “Uh, ones with face like this, uh, I think.”
Slag- “That good enough for Slag.”
Me too Slag me too.
So Starscream gives Megatron some sass like “you know everything! What are they!” and Megatron is like “They’re garbage!” but Wheeljack gives a shit good shot to Megaton’s dick (no kidding) and we have a good line i have not heard in a while.
“Megatron has fallen. I, Starscream, am now your leader. Decepticons follow me.” I smiled so hard at that.
But the Cons start firing at the Dinobots but their horn laser fire powers kick ass and they have no chance. They kick there asses effortlessly.
He caught a fucking jet in his mouth. Not only do I think they defies the law of physics but that is damn awesome.
Megatron gets up and...
the fuck is this?
So anyway Wheeljack gets the Autobot weapons and helps the rest get out of the mess and gear up.
The Dinobots take cause of Megatron and the rest of the Cons as they all piss off and the day is saved thanks to.... The Dinobots!
Prime gives in in saying that Wheeljack and Bee disobeying orders is okay and that the Bots can stay.
Aww Bee looks so happy!
Sweet episode! So far my favorite!
Autobots I learned: 23
I count the Dinobots are Autobots cause they have the same logo.
Grimlock is the Rex
Slag is the Three Horned
Sludge is the long necked
Decpticons I learned: 10
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07: Fire in the Sky
Okay so we start ff on a Christmas special because I am pretty sure that is the only way to justify it snowing in the dessert.
Spike plays with Jazz in the snow and it is pretty cute as they all have a snowball fight.
“That’s snow fair.” Oh Jazz!
Spike is the only one who comments on the impossibility of there being a snow fight in the dessert. Prime, being the only responsibly one now, looks up the weather all around the world. To put it simply the world is freezing.
About time.
But the strange thing is that they heat form the earth’s core is the thing that is freezing the world... and ya know nothing to do with the sun... the thing that gives up most of our heat and shit... i don’t care it is a cartoon.
And obviously it is the Megatron’s fault because it is always Megatron’s fault. The planet is freeze? Megatron. The forests are burning? Megatron. The sun is on fire? Megatron. You got a low grade on your last test? M-M-M-Megatron.
We cut to the Cons in the Arctic taking heat from these crystals that are somehow contented tot he earth’s core. Just roll with it. So freeze the Earth and take the cubs. Solid plan.
Rumble is having some trouble and Thundercraker is being a bitch, and they both forget how snow works but they both find a Cybertronian in the ice. Megatron decides to adopt the guy and make him a Con.
But the ice caps seem to be doing better as the Bots find the crystal and the Cons (not Jazz it is not a natural phenomenon) messing up the earth and they decide to roll out...all the way to the arctic circle????
I guess I should question now where they hell are they (America I guess, hell I have been thinking New Mexico this whole time) but if they are able to drive tot the Arctic circle by car (Autobot or not) then shit son I guess I am wrong.
But the Cons dig up who his face and they try to save the guy. Starscream orders from frankenstein b.s. cause Star seems to have known this guy! Oh, wow that is kinda cool, Starscream actually had friends!
So new bot is Skyfire and Statscream goes into 80s flashback mode. They were both space explorers years ago (though Starscream kept his jet form for some reason) before the war even started when the earth didn’t have life on it. Skyfire crashed on the planet however and Starscream circled half the planet in order to find him.
That is... actually really tragic. Damn.
He wakes up and seems to remember Starscream but is very confused. Wow he is a big boy.
I’ll that it that they symbols is like the original symbol of Cybertron before the war things happened. (Look how happy Star is!)
So they fill him up about the war he missed and Megatron gets him to join.
The Bots start coming in. and it only took them like an hour to get to America all the fucking way to the Arctic circle of course.
So they change Skyfire’s thing but he’s not too excited about the whole ‘destroy your enemies thing.’ He asks for Starscream’s input about the whole thing where Starscrea, says he is very happy to be a warrior than a scientist.
Starscream- “One day I, not Megatron, will lead up us and then you will be my second in command”
Aww that is kinda sweet Starscream.
Skyfire says he will try his best and he is the first to see the bots come in. He gets his gun ready but does not shoot on sight which i appalled him for.
He shoots after saying “Destruction to all Autobots” Much classier.
Spike falls in the water and the ice starts cracking. Sparkplug saves him but now both the humans are in trouble. Geez why did we even bring them in the first place?
Skyfire gets to the first in order to help them but he does not understand that Cons are not really on friendly terms with the humans. Spike and Sarkplug give him the laydown that the Cons are assholes but he don’t believe it and has the great idea to take they guys with him to see Megatron.
The Bots let him go cause they might him the humans (I saw risk it) and try to find a safer way to rescue them.
Megaton is happy to get the prisoners and treats them like shit. Skyfire is sad as he promised the humans that they would not get hurt but Megatron calls him out on that crap.
For some reason Skyfire thinks that they are his friends (I guess humans just have that look) and Starscarem shoots at him for that. Wow. Ass.
Skyfire knows that his purpose is for science and learn and not killing. I like that guy. Strong morals and shit.
The Autobots (Bee, Prime, Cliffjumper Jazz) go into the cave hind-out base thing but only half of them back it and the other half of them fall into a trap (Gears (has be always been red and blue?) Ratchet Hound Ironhind) where they are freezing to death and now lost. Prim’s groups hears the humans calling for help and Cliff defrosts them with his defrost mode gun. Handy.
Meanwhile the Cliff’s group see that the Cons drain the heat from the crystals into the cubes and I still don’t know how that is possible. They start talking around and are heard by Megatron and are now captured. So those guys are out.
Ravage goes for Prime’s group who have the humans and Prime and they make a break for it trying to leave. “That’s what I call stoping a Con cold!”
However Ironhide’s groups is put outside to get ready for a good shot to the head.
“These years under the ice diminished your loyalty coefficients, Skyfire”
Oh you are one to talk Starscream.
But because of old friendships he is generous enough to allow Skyfire to melt down the Bots. How kind.
But Skyfire is not about that life and Starscream shoots him. Aww.... poor guy. I feel like that shot was more personal for Starscream. Skyfire choose his own way rather than just doing whatever Starscream says, making him feel like Skyfire was betraying him really.
Starscream shoots at the bots and tears them down. He then steps over Skyfire like a cold mo-fo as the Bots come back all fine cause holograms. Skyfire is glad that the bots are okay and they decide to help out the random dude.
They seem to like him cause he stood up for them and felt guilty that he was shot due to helping them. Makes scene I guess. Ratchet helps him and wow when did those guys get here. Okay so all the Bots are together again.
Megatron hears form Laserbeak that they Bots are okay.
“You disgust me” I just think that Megaton throwing a cube at Star is really funny.
But yeah Megatron is pissed that they ain’t dead and now we are going to have a fight scene.
They start firing and Skyfire is in the middle of it, still hurt. Prime brings back Roller! the baby that lives in his trunk! Good to see him. He takes out Thundercraker and Skywing.
Goodbye my child.
Megaton and Prime duke it out with crystal parts and Prime seems to be the one kicking ass.
That is till Skyfire starts coming back from nowhere and has the Autobot symbol again from nowhere.
“I am an Autobot now” Same dude. I bet he made it himself. Cute.
He then proceeds to kiss Megatron’s ass but Starscream is being a bitch to his ex and Sky takes the higher ground on him.
Man I hate it when couples fight.
They play chicken and Starscream falls to the ground but Skyfire crashes as well before aiming a blow to the crystal.
So?????? He’s fucking dead???? What the hell???? That was a pussy was to go.
Shit.
Yeah so he is dead I guess but the earth is saved and I don’t think that was worth it.
I literally rather have lost the earth just to have that really interesting characters back thanks you.
“He won’t be forgotten Spike. He will live forever as long as freedom exists. We shall remember you Skyfire.”
Yeah thanks Prime but that does not bring him back.
I hope he comes back in future episodes but knowing the 80s, most likey not.
Autobots I learned: 20
Skyfire is a Autobot and I will fight for this. He is white with a blue and red stripes. Got a red rocket backpack.
Decpticons I learned: 10
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06: Divide and Conquer
Okay another full 22 minutes of my time going into this.
We start off with a loving poster of Megatron and his evilness, looking good for a poster boy.
And we come to Chip and probably the first black man I have seen speak in this cartoon trying to start up this computer thingy which turns off after 4 seconds of button pushing.
Of course the Decptecons interrupt whatever was going on and the humans get all scared and run away. Starscream gets to it, showing off of course. Chip starts pushing buttons and calls the Autobots for help.
The Bots are back at the river place wondering how the Space Bride has been moved, though how you can move such a thing without anyone noticing is beyond me, it is gone and now they are pissed. The get the call and roll out to the power house whatever.
Starscream calls in saying that the mission was a success as they took all the cubes and Megatron call in saying to bring it. Starscream is sassing him up and is interrupted by Prime coming in.
Where the frick does his little storage truck thing go???
The Cons attack back but Prime gets his butt whopped a bit. Make that a lot. Thundercraker and Skywarp gang up on the guy with some missiles while Prime heroically shields the humans. Yeah he is getting a big ass whopping.
The Cons leave with the cubes before the rest of the Bots get there and they are only met with a very badly damaged Prime on their hands.
They get the guy back to the base in tow as they show concern over Prime
Bee- “Come on you guy, Optimus is going to make it through, he’s got to!”
Aww loyal Bee!
Starscream lying about Prime dying and Megatron telling Laserbreak to check out the sights. Making sure they enemy is good and dead. Like a good villain does ya know.
And no one notice Laserbreak falling on Brawn and coming in, thanks for nothing Brawn. Anyway Prime is in critical condition and now the Cons know it.
Rachet is working on the guy.
Prime is so dramatic like I know he is dying but he is really milking this up.
Prime- “Weaker, Electro pulse fading.”
This guy gets it. He has already lost hope.
Like we get it you are dying but this is not helping company moral ya know.
Laserbreak goes in for the killing blow and up that is a direct hit, the guy is dead and this is the end.
Never mind it was a commercial break, anyway place looks like shit now and Prime is still somehow functioning but his energy is still draining fast.
Wheeljack is needs to replace a part but the spar part is on Cybertron and the Cons put a lock on the door.
The peanut galley agains graces us with the knowledge that the situation is hopeless and we thank you.
Ironhind volunteers Chip to go to another planet and he agrees despite not knowing if he can even survive being on Cybertron or breathing the damn air. But ya know to hell with it, death is an illusion in this cartoon.
Megatron is back at his base saying how great it is to have Prime dead and Starscream wonders why they are not attacking the Autobots when they are vulnerable like they should and Megatron replies with a witty shut up. A good reason but still. Oh and he is more concerned with the Space Bridge and all.
Back with the Autobots, Prime, for some reason, has not use Tellitram One to find the space bridge so Chip does that. Wth Prime? Why on earth would you not do that?
Starscrem and Rumble are at the Bridge and using the cubes to send back to Cybertron. Star kills off one of the Cons (was that Reflector? there were like four?) and they go back to Cybertron...not dead? Why was he so scared then?
So they find the bridge by using a computer and the Autobots and Cons have a fight. Reflector makes a flashy flash and Rumble hurts the environment.
Yeah fuck nature.
Anyway Megaton tells them to let the Bots to win and they do gaining access to the bridge and heading off the Cybertron.
At Cybertron they are met with Shockwave and other guy. Ironhide finds some liquid nitrogen lying about and they escape.
Megatron tells the home boys to destroy everything with acid rain while Chip almost too easily opens the gate. What a shitty lock, dear Primus a human unlocked it.
They find the part but low and behind acid rain starts falling and they start to book it. Sadly they are caught int he rain and have having technical difficulties.
Chip is the only one seeming fine, though wouldn’t he be melting??
Megaton is happy to get ride of four of the Bots and Starscream asks again if they can find attack the damn base to which Megatron agrees for the first time.
Holy shit that is the first time they have touch that is not viloent??
Teamwork???
Back on Cybertron Chip is saying like “no one is really disabled as long as they have courage” which is really sweet but these guys are really having their insides melted and I don’t think courage can un-melt people.
But those words get Trailbreaker off his ass and use his forcefield to protect them now instead of in the beginning. Prowl shoots the Cons making the rain and they are finally in the clear.
Good job of that guard work Shockwave.
They make it back to earth (Hold on to your teeth) and just in time for a very sad motivation speech.
Sparkplug- “I’m sorry Spike, sometimes nothing you do makes any difference.”
Yeah I learned that in High School. Which I don’t Spike goes to so important lesson to learn when your friend/role model/president is dying.
The Cons are coming to attack and that purple Bot talks again. I swear I don’t know who he is but he is a misery maker he is.
”We’re doom!” Shut up mate.
Spike takes a fricking gun and starts to go mad and somehow that inspires everyone (yes even the negative nancy) to transform and fight to the death.
Aww look at him with a gun, he think’s he is helping.
So yeah, they fight and the Cons seem to be winning. Spike calls Ravage a kitty and it was cute. Rumble’s a shit and Starscream again shows to have good leadership skills in saying they should conserve their energy and Megatron shows to be a shit cause he says he is arrogantly going to finish this battle quickly.
Chips comes in with the part just in time and they make a last minute surgery.
Megaton thinks he wins even with everyone technically alive
Is that Shockwave?
So yeah he was bragging and Prime comes in all heroically and everyone’s moral is up. Like even, Starscream is being a shit saying, “yeah go fight him bitch, I am not even surprised that he is alive, you suck at making people die, I mean look at me, I have betrayed you like three times and yet I am still your second in command. You have poor people skills.”
Love that guy.
So they fight with strange 80′s cartoon proportions and Megaton is loosing and says he needs help.
But Starscream just stand there saying “When you die can I have your job” little shit, I love him.
Prime gets the upper hand and Megaton says he yields for now. Star calls a retreat and they leave. Yay another happy ending!
Autobots I learned: 19
Decpticons I learned: 10
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05: Roll for it
Starscream is showing off his new leadership as they break into another human power thingy. Humans point guns at them, thinking it will somehow make a difference, like yeah lets fight the giant alien robots laser, and they call for help as they should have done at first.
Sonudwave is so fricking done.
The Bots come in and start kicking ass but Cliffjumper get his ass wupped instead. Prime takes down Starscream and Soundwave calls for a retreat. He then gets his ass wupped by Prowl and Bluestreak as Soundwave calls Starscream out for his shitty leadership skills.
Megatron calls all the way from Cyertron to say that Starscream is a shitty leader and tell them to attack the laboratory. Prety saying to keep doing what he was doing but now that Megatron says it everyhting thinks it is a good idea. Poor Starscream :-( Megatron then gets a ride back to Earth and everything is back to normal.
Is this what the kids call YAOI legs??
We got a new human! Yay! His name is Chip and he is in a wheelchair cause, you know, we need some diversities in the 80s.
Bee, Spike and Chip are for some reason going into the Lab that Megaton plans to rob and we see that camera Decepticon again, Reflector I think it was.
That mo-fo.
But no Chip is apart of the anti-matter formal that they needed (how smart is this kid???) Bee agrees that Chip is very pretty cause he is and they give him a disc that allow Chip to talk to the MC-Brainiact from home for some reason and they go home.
That is till Laserbeak starts shooting at them from the sky but they get away and call in the attack. Bee and Spike leave Chip unprotected by himself at his home as they leave. An while that just happened, Megatron demands the Cons attack the lab right now before the Bots get there.
However Starscream is distracting the Autobots at another warehouse where they are getting jets for spare parts. Blue and Prowl try to take them down but they are outnumbered and are getting their robo butts wupped.
Meanwhile Megatron and the boys are taking over the lab so the science guy (Doctor Alkazar) send to it to Chip for safe keeping. Megatron says he will find out who soon and buys some time.
Back to battle, Prowl gets hit and just out of pure luck calls Chip Chase on the phone and asks for help. Like he hooks up the a random computer and thinks that will help him??? And it does??? Chip answers and says he is resuming control now.
And then he starts flipping like there is not tomorrow.
How the frick this kid is smart enough to hatch into an Autobot and take control of his body which is as complicated (probably more so) as a humans with an 80s computer is beyond me.
But he did it and he is awesome (sorry spike).
Prowl appreciates the help and they get the upper hand in battle. They hot wire a jet and fire at the Cons. The Cons escape and I really like how Prowl compliments Chip
“Chip for a human being, you make one heck on an Autobot.”
Aww!
So Megaton send his possie to Chips to get the formal but Mother-Loving Chip here memorizes the whole damn thing?!?!? OKay!?!? You do that?!?! And he rips up the disc.
Ravage still takes the kid cause why the hell not and they leave.
The Bots finally get to the lab where the Cons are coming back with a captured Chip in their hands and are told if they do anything Chip is doomed. The Autos wait outside to make a plan
Indoors Soundwave is trying to mind read?? Chip with his hands I guess?
But it works and now the Cons knew how to make anti-matter.
Outisde Mirage and Hound are invisible and turn into a rock and sneak into the lab while fucking Bee just flies over.
You suck at look out Rumble.
So Auto bots sneak in just as Soundwave enters the code into the Master Computer. Megatron is amazed and they make the matter. Chip is attacked by Ravage and they start filling up the cups.
Mirage and Hound make a distraction as Bee and Spike go to save Chip. The Bots leave with Chip and tow and are escaping. So Prime goes in and fucking rams the entrance.
Yeah frick you wall.
But there is no fight cause the cubes are made and Megatron throws one like an idiot.
Nice job numb-nuts, y’all all dead.
But naw only the Bots are hurt and they retreat leaving the somehow okay Cons. Chip for some reason say this is his fault when he was the one kicking ass half this episode. Wheeljack says he can help in a thing and we go back to the Cons for five seconds before we find out what that is.
The computer Tellatran found the Cons and that they are coming over to their base. The Bots go out to fight and start kicking the Con’s ass in the sky.
Megatron is quick to use the anti-matter on himself and Scarscream uses Gunatron to shoot the Bots. For a lack of trust it is always Starscream that uses Megagun. Wonder why that is. Though he does call him an “Anti-matter gun”. Like he has a name Starscream.
Spike gets caught cause he thought he could take a Con down and Chip uses a computer override thing that Wheeljack gave him that lets Tellatran have control over Skywarp.
Also it turns out if you leaves that anti matter inside yourself too long then you will explode as Megatron explodes taking out his anti matter cubes.
And so with that the Cons retreat as they go there butts thoroughly wupped if I do say so myself.
Chips is giving the love and recognition he deserves and he is somehow surprised by this. Boy please, you have done more in this one episode than any other human has down in the past 5 episodes. (sorry spike)
My boy.
Anyway Megatron is pouting and it is a happy ending! Yay!
Autobots I learned: 19
Decpticons I learned: 10
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04: Transport to Oblivion
Play so we are near done with the introductions. We are now a few months after the Autobots sent the Cons into the sea and they believe that they are dead.
We go back to Cybertron and see that Shockwave feller. Damn did he wait all that time and tried to call ever few years or something, loyal mo-fo. Anyway he says they needs fuel and Megatron agrees.
Cons attack another oil ridge cause to hell with being sneaky. Spike and Jazz catch wind of this due to traffic. I mean if I saw traffic I would think that aliens come back from the dead too.
Autobots roll out with the squad and for some reason the Cons are surprised by this.
Height differece tho.
Megatron and Prime duke it out again and Starscream is still a sissy. Nothing too unusual. Ironhide gets hit by Megagun though so they gotta retreat and the Cons get away.
Bee is going with Spike to spy on the them. Is Bee a Scout of a Spy then? That is kinda cool with him being small and all. Cons are planning a Space bridge on Earth from where Shockwave is for about 11 mins (very exact my man) to transport all the cubes they stole.
Bee and Spike find the Cons by accent in a riverbed and the bridge is about to go up. It works but it is a one way to death. Megatron says fuck it and want to send someone anyway. Bee and Spike fall down and guess, get spot, and what happens next.
Comfy.
Another great line...
Bee- “How are we going to get out of this?”
Spike- “By the skin of out teeth.”
Bee- “I didn’t know what human teeth had skin.”
Anyway they are both going to get sent to Cybertron in 3000 astro seconds (whatever that is) till Bee remember tha he is part car.
Be free my man
They escape. Well Bee escapes and Spoke is left in the dust (literally he falls down in the dust) Bee gets stuck in a cave, hiding from Ravage and Laserbreak but still gets caught by Starcream and Thundercracker.
Megatron alters Bee’s memories and sends him back to the Autobots to say that Spike was captured and says the Spacebridge is in the wrong place. It works and they are trapped in the cave.
They fight again and it is very dramatic.
That is just unfair.
Shockwave interrupts and says the bridge is about to open so the Cons bail out. Starscream bitches a bit and they open the way only to reclose it very shitty like that probably a punch can take it out.
Bee gets his memory back and the Bots open the door as easily as I said they can (Megatron knows they are giant robots too right?) so they can get tot eh bridge.
Spike is about to be the experiment and Megatron gives him some advice on not dying. Of course the Autobots make it in time and they have the high ground so they doing well.
Ironhide tries to shoot the cargo but Spike is in there so he can’t. Bee bravely trie to rescue the boy and Prime give some good cover fire (he fricking shot Spike’s seatbelt off like why can’t you shoot that well all the time?)
Megatron gets his ass wupped and falls into the space bridge and is presumed dead by both Starscreams as he takes over command.
We tank you both.
Spike is saved and everyone is happy cause Megatron is dead but Prime is wise enough to know that a laser is deep space is not enough to kill him as Megaton goes to Cybertron safe and sound with Shockwave.
Autobots I learned: 19
Decpticons I learned: 10
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03: More than Meets the Eye, Part 3
Okay last one left off with Prime falling down and now he is okay and so is his son Roller. So are Bee and Sparkplug cause of course they are.
Decpticons still at large but ya know that is not going to change. Looks like that sacrifice was for nothing!!!
So all robots can fly but Decpticons can fly faster cause they are jets. Obviously. Ironhide got hurt and medical boy bot helps him out.
I sense new fav.
Spike is saying how Prime would be a good President (agreed) and I must have missed it when they captured Ravage. Hound can make holograms? And is pals with Mirage.
They try to trick Ravage with false info and let him escape, very believable, Decpticons fall for it (good to see Starscream again) and Starscreams at pathetic again.
“You couldn’t lead androids to a picnic.”
Savage.
But Starscream makes a good point
“Megatron, Megatron!!!” all pathetic like like he is afraid of death or something. Bt Megatron lets him live another day or whatever.
The Autobots are wearing lab cots! So cute. Autobots are really tricked so it is a double trick! Wow, can’t believe that actual happened, literal how the frick did that happen? Of course Megatron told them what was really happening and they have enough gas to go home.
Autobots are on their way to save the day and going to attack the base, even the humans are coming. I really love how Megatron is just a gun. Like what the heck. And Soundwave just keeps three named Decpitons in his chest. They just causally live there when they are not fighting.
Prime and Megatron have a little pow wow and the Cons run away like babies. All Bots have lasers so that is a thing and Prime gives a good Darth Vador impression as the Cons get away in their ship.
Prime gets Sideswipe’s rocket pack and decides to kick his ass personally but fails miserably. I love how Starscream has tried to shoot Megatron twice from like 3 yards and misses every time. Classic. And Megatron still keeps him around despite the whole ‘death to all traitors thing.’ Mirage was a smart baby at least and destroys them all from the inside. Single handingly takes them all down and everyone goes home.
Oh and the governments of the world all agreed to help the Autobots. Cause you know nobody will think that helping aliens is a bad idea. Spike ends off the episode with saying he glad the Cons are gone as the Cons show to be back at the bottom of the sea.
Autobots I learned: 19
Bluestreak is white and grey with some red and little wingys
Rachet is the medical white bot
Decpticons I learned: 10
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02: More than Meets the Eye, Part 2
I am glad I took notes in the last one. So may bots and more to come. (cause more toys mean more money $$$) Humans are taking the whole robot aliens very well (Who the fuck names their son spike?) Spike is pretty cool as he is very curious and small, like a small son and ya know, not useless. (What kind of name is Sparkplug?????)
Episode is pretty standard as the Decpticons infiltrate the Autobot’s base, learn some shit and a dam is saved.
Meagtron kid of reminds me of a kid they way he taunts Prime.
“You’re too late Prime.” “Try and stop me Prime.” Nyh nyh nyh such resentment. Of course Prime has those insults.
“You’re yesterday’s model.” Ooooh fuck no he didn’t.
They also get these light power weapons. So that is a thing.
Starscream is such a baby I swear and I really like him!
And how the fuck are they flying??
The plot again was pretty simple as the humans get to know the giant non evil robots.
And Spike, idiotically, brings in Soundwave back to headquarters just to learn their location. So that sucks.
But they trap Ravage, Soundwave’s child, and Starcream actually shows some leadership in his worry about the energon cubes.
Megatraon attacks another place and the Bots comes in to save the day.
Hound goes to beat up Rumble under water and I think Sideswipe and Bee shot a new river????? Okay?
So Megatron and Prime trash-talk and Prime falls into a river. Starscream is testing out the cubes by throwing them and Megatron tells him to shut the hell up. I am scening a pattern here.
They go and turn these crystals into energy and somehow Megatron just knows so they get a bomb that should last 60 sec but turns out to be much faster as Bee and Spike as still in the cave when it goes off.
Prime goes up to see what the deal is and sends his child, Roller in to see what is up.
The cave explodes and he falls over.
Autobots I learned: 17
Huffer is the purple one with a yellow back
Brawn is green and yellow with a lightly thing
Mirage (update) is blue and white and can disappear
Gears is Red with some blue to the side
Sunstreaker (update) he is the yellow one with the little bit of black
Roller is a baby bot??? with four wheels and squeaks that live and/or is Part of Prime. I think he is his son or something cause when he gets hurts Prime is very concerned.
Decpticons I learned: 10
Skywarp is the purple and grey one (looks a lot like Thundercracker)
#sparkpluf#huffer#brawn#mirage#gears#sunstreaker#skywarp#autobots#episode 2#g1#neverwatchedtransformersg1#roller#decepticon
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01: More than Meet the Eye, Part 1
So far love the theme song. Cute!
So they are from a planet call Cybertron, MANY millions of years ago who had intelligent robots there who can think and feel.
Peace loving Autobots and power hungry Decepticons and all that war stuff destroying the planet. Why do bad guys always want total domination? To the point of extinction, deal lord.
Looks like they can turn into cars like things even without humans. And can fly. The old 80s humor of just puns is very delightful! The animation is of course very old but actually really good for all the changing they do. A few slips with the audio and that is kinda amusing. (What happens to Prime’s truck thingy when he transforms)
Using your friend’s body as cover.
So they go to Earth case mistakes and can I say that I love Starscream and Megatron’s interactions. Starscream is such a shit and I think I love him.
Anyway they crashed and four million years later a volcano happened and everyone is awake.
Of course the Cons are awake first and they did not make sure the Bots are dead because Starscream’s shooting make the ship actually help the Bots come back to life. Of course.
Starscream does not even try to hide that he wants to be leader. Like is no one going to say anything?? Is that normal? Is he not a traitor for some reason?
Cliffjumper starts shooting shit, I like his style, and Relfector wants to be useful so they turn into a camera and spot the Bots back online.
BTW Humans suck as fighting giant robots as the Cons attack their base.
So they burn the place down and gtfo just as the Bots come in to help.
Autobots I have learned: 13
Wheeljack is green and white
Bee is yellow
Jazz is black and talks…like jazz I guess, seems to Prims’s fav or something
Optimus Prime is still red and blue
Pound (Hound?) is green and has a gun
Cliffjumper has horns and is red and likes guns
Hauler is yellow and has a crane
Prowl is black and has red horns thingys
Trailbreaker is balckish grey
Ironhide ???? red and white one
Mirage ????? the one on the right
Sunstreaker ????? the yellow with black maybe
Sideswipe is red with some black
Decpticaons I have learned: 9
Laserbeak is a bird robot
Megatron is grey and accent?? is a fucking gun?????
Shockwave has one eye and some kind of accent
Starscream is red and white and a little bitchy but he my favorite so far
Soundwave has the mask and the bird and is the bird
Rumble is small and lives in Soundwave, is small and purple, has little ground breakers or something
Reflector is a fusion of three and somehow makes a camera smaller than himselves
Thundercracker is a baby blue
Ravage is a dog, evil dog
#wheeljack#spike#ravage#thundercracker#refelctor#rumble#soundwave#starscream#shockwave#megatron#laserbeak#autobots#sideswipe#sunstreaker#mirage#ironhide#trailbreaker#prowl#hauler#cliffjumper#hound#optimus prime#bumblebee#episode 1#more than meets the eye#g1#neverwatchedtransformersg1#decepticon
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Robots in disguise
The Transformers is a half-hour American animated television series which originally aired from September 17, 1984 to November 11, 1987. The first of many series in the Transformers franchise, it was based upon Hasbro's Transformers toy line (itself based upon the Diaclone and Microman toy lines originally created by Japanese toy manufacturer Takara[3]) and depicts a war among giant robots that can transform into vehicles and other objects.[4]
I got into the fandom recently due to all the good things I have heard about the show and comics! So I thought the best place to start is in the beginning (cause I am anal like that) and since no one likes going into these things alone I thought it could be fun to do a little side blog about the characters and plot within the story. The fanart is what always draws me in, got me thinking, ‘hey if someone puts with much effort into something it has to be good right?’ Not always the case, but I am glad to find that it usually is and I hope I am right again!
I really cartoons, of all kinds and genres, and the old classics are no different in this. Problem is I am really shit at keeping my attention with them. My attention span is the not the best or is my comprehension skills (luckily this is the 80s and hopefully very simple as well) so if there is some supper dupper secret plot devise going on you can guarantee that I am going to miss it! Heheh, at least I am always surprised right?
Anyway the only things I really know about transformers is that there is Optimus Prime and he is the leader and that Bumblebee is the yellow car (the movie trailers show very little). There are a BUTT ton of other robots that I do not know about and cannot tell the difference of as of right now.
I will try to keep it straight to an episode a day or so, maybe two, and then write a bit about it. I will try to stick with it to the best of my abilities.
Wish me luck!
And please do not spoil anything for me I really like to be surprised.
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