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Will u join the challenge?

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hoy!

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you’ve heard of the mortifying ordeal of being known, now get ready for the

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If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you fucked something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon:

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

- Fucked the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks—the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run—came in first place

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Guy comes into the flower shop and loudly proclaims we need to get him out of the doghouse. We dont ask why.

Doesn't know her favorite flower, doesn't know her favorite color. This is, sadly, typical for most dudes that come in. We help him pick out an arrangement.

"Yall sell chocolates?"

"Yes we do," our designer says, indicating the assorted chocolates we have available. Personally, if I wanted to eat chocolate flavored wax, I'd just lick a bath and body works candle, but my opinions wont keep a dude from sleeping on the couch. "But we also have our snack baskets over here."

He gravitates towards the snack baskets, which have more recognizable brands. He picks them up one by one to see which one has the most value, and lands on out meat and cheese sampler.

He seems very proud of himself for choosing this one. While hes at it he picks a teddy bear to go with the flowers and heads up to the register to pay. This amounts to something over 100$

"I see you picked the meat and cheese tray," our designer says. "Good choice."

"Yeah," he said with pride. "I was gonna get one of the others, but then I remembered she's vegan."

Absolutely frozen by the comment, our designer simply stares at the package of assorted meats and cheeses. "Vegan, you say?"

"Yeah, she's all about the health food stuff."

"Vegan," she says again, sounding the word out to make sure it meant what she thought it meant. "Is there any way I can persuade you to get a different basket? I dont think vegans can eat meat... or cheese. The crackers are the only thing in here that's vegan, i think."

He looks down at the meat and cheese basket with fresh eyes, studies it for a moment and turning it over in his hands to assess the contents.

"No, I'm right about this," he says, and hands over his credit card.

Fam... I think I know why he's in the doghouse.

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it’s me, the neediest person in the world™

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calamity jane in film:

calamity jane irl:

amelia earhart in film:

amelia earhart irl:

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finding out this was real makes my life lkJASLKFJASDKLF

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Me: misses the charging port while trying to plug my phone in

The bbc sherlock who lives in my head:

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Conservatives will be like “Kids today are too sensitive with their peanut allergies and gluten intolerances” but then will fake a disability so they can go to the grocery store without a mask

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Dipper you’re cute baby! Just accept…

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Or idk, at least that’s how it feels to me sometimes.

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the haunting of gay manor (2020)