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i'm sorry but this is the only submission to this trend that i'll consider giving any thought to

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when doctors ask if i have any history of cancer in my family and i have to say that yes my grandmother had 2 types of gastrointestinal cancer and they're like oh wow okay so we'll keep an eye out for that but i'm like no it was probably just all the nuclear radiation and they're like ok hm ok what the fuck do you mean and it's very weird seeing the look on american doctors' faces when you have to explain to them that believe it or not atomic bombs were dropped on this earth 2 generations ago and it did have consequences

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George & Gianni Versace, circa 1988.

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could you be any more annoying.. lol

Easily

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#just watching #doesn’t have to be from a window tho I can watch it right in front of it

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The fastest way to shut down my "freelance life means I have to constantly be working" thoughts is to remind myself that if I was a boss holding a worker to the standards I hold myself to, their union would hunt me for sport and nobody would blame them.

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what if i just rest my eyes for a second

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got fired via a text from my boss who i’ve never digitally communicated with and because it was an unknown number sending a mysterious link with no context (turned out to be security camera footage of me taking 1 can of cheap beer) i assumed it was spam and my immediate response was

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this makes me so embarassed for him i want to hide in a dark hole

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you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

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the fact that chickens, who produce eggs for families and are fairly low-cost pets after initial expenses, are not allowed in many areas due to noise but dogs, who are considerably noisier and considerably more a risk to people are, is kind of ridiculous

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i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.