myobsidianthoughts

[myobsidianthoughts]

Ahh... it’s so small but I kind of wish you were as excited for midnight as you were last year... hopefully you’ll have time for me tonight.

[myobsidianthoughts]

you dont want me anymore

[myobsidianthoughts]

You can’t just ignore me for days. I am not just someone that sucks your dick. I am not a toy.

[myobsidianthoughts]

I feel so fucking ugly in this skin that I have never loved.

[myobsidianthoughts]

I... I really want to go on a date...

[myobsidianthoughts]

If I was in danger I wouldn’t call you, because you wouldn’t answer.

[myobsidianthoughts]

How the fuck am I goi g to pay over $2000 I don’t know what to do I don’t know what to do why why why I hate this I literally want to die but I can’t say anything because I’m too scared you’ll do it again what am I going to do what am I going to do

[myobsidianthoughts]

I understand - sometimes you want to be alone.

Please understand - sometimes I can’t be.

[myobsidianthoughts]

I’m literally busting my ass to be able to spend time with you and you won’t even answer my phone calls.

[myobsidianthoughts]

I just really wish that you treated me like someone you wanted to marry instead of someone you’re going casual with. I just wish that you were serious about me.

[myobsidianthoughts]

I’ll never be enough for someone...

[myobsidianthoughts]

I was right. And my heart, it hurts, it feels so unbelievably broken. It hurts physically, like the affected pieces are stabbing itself from the inside out. I can barely breathe and the dissociation is getting worse and worse.

[myobsidianthoughts]

I just want to be loved

[myobsidianthoughts]

Why am I always wrong? Why am I always wrong? I just wanted to talk about my trauma with you and I ended up wrong again why am I wrong? I just wanted you to listen and love me, I just wanted to feel loved...

[myobsidianthoughts]

I’m actually quite pathetic. I keep thinking that you’ll decide that you’ll want me more if I give you what you want. I don’t want to fall down this rabbit hole again but I fear that if I pull away again, I really will lose you.

#this feels too similar to him...

[myobsidianthoughts]

I knew I shouldn't have done this.

I hate myself.

I hate myself.

[myobsidianthoughts]

You make me feel like I was never myself.

#you left me alone