my-dumb-ass

[my-dumb-ass]

don’t ever underestimate me. my dumbass is plenty stupid. so don’t you fuckin forget it.

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

literally stared at the microwave for 10sec just trying to figure out why this time felt different before my dumbass remembered to press ‘start’

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

you ever, you know, not make a damn fool of yourself, yeah me neither

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

If you're ever feeling down about your gaming skills, just remember that i once got -4 lives on Halo during a 2vs2 match with my cousins. And we still won. Trust me, you're doing fine.

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

guess who stubbed their toe last night and immediately screamed “NO!” with the heart crushing anguish of a toddler who’s favorite toy is being thrown out for good my dumbass thats who

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

that moment when youre so tired and out of it that you set your empty container in the sink and just fucking chuck your spoon into the trash

#mydumbass #fast food shouldnt be this hard

[my-dumb-ass]

I tripped up the stairs and then almost immediately fell down them like wtf i just wanted to sit down oh my god why me

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

why be besties when you can be the homie supreme

#mydumbass #why am i like this

[my-dumb-ass]

set the empty chip bag in the sink and dropped my glass in the trash

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

never felt so betrayed by my own body i swear i made it down to the last step before my feet said fuck it and it took me like 45 sec to fall? i didn’t deserve this

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

got in a fight with my lil bro over him trying to steal the chicken nugget in my hand, slapped him, and laughed so hard at the betrayal on his face that i choked and spent the next few minutes trying not to cough up a lung

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

woke up panicked outta my mind and managed to get pants and shirt on before i remembered 1.campus is still closed for the pandemic 2.im 26 3.its sunday 4. its 5:30am

#mydumbass

[my-dumb-ass]

literally drove two houses down the street before i realized the AC wasn’t particularly strong today my dumb ass just forgot my glasses

#mydumbass