muneebaashiq

[muneebaashiq]

The last time I saw - Part 3

Today was my wedding day. The day I have wanted to come many times ever since I started living alone to pursue my higher education in the US. Initially, I was extremely excited to become independent but did not consider the challenges that come with it. Throughout the eight years I lived alone, I faced many occasions of happiness and sadness but never had anyone to share them with. After today, I could have someone who would be with me in ease and difficulty. Finally, I had someone to lean on and share my life with.  

(Music credit: Christina Perri - A Thousand Years [Official Music Video]) 

I was glad that we were able to miraculously plan the entire wedding within a month, all so that my youngest sister could be there. She had gotten into an amazing Canadian education program a few weeks prior and needed to sit for its exam in Canada. Why didn’t she take the exam later? Because it only happens once a year. Why didn’t we have the wedding after she took the exam? Well, we didn’t know after how many years she would be returning if she passed her exam.  

While I was getting ready, I felt a variety of emotions. I felt ecstatic as I was about to marry the love of my life. I felt sad as I wished my mother was here with me. I felt a sense of unease because now my dad will be left all alone. I felt nervous for my sister since she now had to face the difficulties that I once faced in life. But time was running out, and I knew I had to put those emotions aside. 

However, the emotions hit me again when I saw my dad and sister sitting in the corner after the wedding ceremony. I knew it was time for my sister to leave for the airport. A lump formed in my throat as she walked up to me to say goodbye. We both hugged each other tightly unwilling to let go and trying to hold onto this moment a little while longer. I whispered to her that “No matter how far apart we maybe, you will always be a part of my heart and soul.” I wanted her to know that even though I faced the challenges of living alone by myself she didn’t have to do that. She had someone to whom she could turn to share her problems, ask for help and get advice from. 

(Video credit: The hidden power of siblings: Jeff Kluger at TEDxAsheville) 

As she walked away, I felt a deep sense of grief. Life was moving forward for everyone and now nothing would ever be the same. That’s when I realized that today was the last time, I saw my family together. Now, our lives would change completely. My family would now be separated by time and distance.  

But as my sister faded into the crowd, I knew she would always be with me in my memories. It reminded me that even though as life changed and time passed, the love between my family would endure. With that thought, I turned to face my future and whatever was waiting for me ahead in life.  

(Image credit: https://www.deviantart.com/t0yken/art/Girl-In-Sunset-170609657) 

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[muneebaashiq]

The last time I saw - Part 2

"You should leave now," I said to my youngest daughter as she sat at a table in the corner of the wedding hall. The exhaustion on her face was visible since she had been running around all day to ensure that her sister’s wedding ceremony went smoothly.

We did not have much time for the wedding preparations because my youngest had gotten into a Canadian program and needed to take its exam which only happens annually in-person. We did not know when she would be coming back if she passes so we held the wedding at the last minute so she could attend it. 

"I'll leave in fifteen minutes," she replied looking at the view in front of her, feeling as if she was a part of it but also distant from it. I understood her emotions since she was about to leave her life in Pakistan and start from scratch on the other side of the world.  

I sat down next to her and held her hand to offer some comfort. I could tell she was wondering what was going on in my mind but didn’t ask. We both said nothing to each other. I wondered if she was still mad at me because she wanted to reject the program she had gotten into, but I made her accept it because I knew this opportunity could change her life. I have researched a lot on how going aboard is beneficial for your child. An article that convinced me to make my decision was “4 reasons why you should send your child to study abroad”. 

(Article link: https://www.ef.com/ca/blog/language/4-reasons-why-you-should-send-your-child-to-study-abroad/) 

“How will I live alone? I have never even stayed alone in a nearby city let alone another country! I don’t want to leave dad!”, her words were echoing in my mind. I looked at her and thought if sending her away was the right decision. She was just a 19-year-old kid who now had to leave her family and life, start from the beginning alone in a foreign country and take on the hardships that come with it. 

But then, I saw her sister all grown up and radiant in her red wedding dress (lengha) who became strong enough to overcome life’s challenges after living alone. It reassured me that even though my youngest disagreed with me for making her go, it was the best decision for her to become independent in case something happens to me. While I felt sad about her leaving, I understood that it was my duty as her father to give her every opportunity to succeed and push her to fulfill her potential.  

After a while, my youngest got up and walked up to her sister. She looked exactly like her late mother as she was wearing her old clothes. I followed her until she reached the stage and hugged her sister goodbye.  

(Image credit: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/771874823622297937/) 

Watching my daughters embrace each other, I couldn't help but feel emotional - it was as if I saw and was saying goodbye to my babies for the last time. Now, they had transformed into strong, independent women - who I was proud of.  

As they let each other go, I hugged them both tightly, feeling bittersweet. I knew they had so much to look forward to in life and was happy for them. But I also felt a sense of loss – my daughters were now grown up and were no longer the kids who were dependent on me. 

[muneebaashiq]

The last time I saw - Part 1

"Oh! My feet are killing me," I exclaimed, finally taking a moment to sit down after tending to the wedding guests and ensuring that the arrangements were going seamlessly. It was the first time I had sat down since arriving at the hall and taken a second to appreciate what was happening around me. The hall was grand, the tables were perfectly set up, and the flowers hung flawlessly from the ceiling and along the stairs on either side of the stage. People were chatting, eating, and having a good time, just like any other wedding. Finally, the wedding day had arrived, and while there was chaos, it was the perfect kind. 

The bride and groom were dancing on the stage, smiling as they took pictures with the guests. I looked at them, especially the bride, my sister. She was wearing a red embroidered lengha (traditional wedding dress), authentic Pakistani jewelry, and beautifully designed henna. She wasn’t entirely happy with her outfit, but to me she looked ethereal. She seemed happy; however, I knew that she felt quite nervous for this new life journey. 

(Image credit: https://www.herculture.org/blog/2016/10/9/so-many-events-the-culture-of-pakistani-marriage) 

"You should leave now," my dad said. 

"I'll leave in fifteen minutes," I replied. 

It might seem strange to someone that my father asked me to leave during my sister's wedding, but he wanted to make sure I made my flight on time. The only condition for my attendance was that I would timely leave for the airport. Why did I have to leave? Because the wedding was in Pakistan, and I had to sit for an exam two days later in Canada. If I missed the exam then I would have to wait another year to take it, and the $10,000 international student fee I paid would go to waste. So, I had to leave the wedding to catch my flight, fly for 36 hours, and take my exam the day after I arrive.  

All of this sounds too hectic and trust me it was. I even contemplated missing the wedding, but I felt too selfish doing that. It seemed as if I was abandoning my familial duties to fulfill my interests. More importantly, I wanted to be at the wedding because my sister has been there for me my entire life and now it was my turn. So, my family and I decided to have the wedding before I left.  

My dad, who was looking at me, now sat next to me and held my hand. We said nothing and just sat in silence acknowledging that this is the last time we get to be together until I get done with my studies. I wondered what was going on in his mind but tried not to make it obvious. After a few minutes, I decided to go up to the stage and say goodbye to the couple.  

As I approached them, I could see my sister’s eyes welling up. We just embraced each other for those few minutes. Neither of us were ready to let go since we knew that if we did things would never be the same. However, letting go was inevitable as time never stops and you constantly must keep up with it. As I was leaving the hall, I looked back at the stage, an image still vivid to me till this day because that was the last time, I saw my family. 

(Music credit: Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth [Official Video] Furious 7 Soundtrack)  

Sitting on the plane, I wondered if it was worth it to sacrifice moments like these for a better future. Much time has passed, and I have gained much success in life, but it came at the cost of losing many precious moments with my family. 

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