mrsq8geek

[mrsq8geek]

at my last job they had to pull the admin lady who was actually running the show out of retirement because no one else knew what to do, she constantly complained about it because she was also caring for her sick mother and had to frequently not be at work because of appointments, and you know what, things just stopped when she wasn't around

can't stop thinking about how the "convinced to return for one last job" trope is a kind of resurrection. digging up a restless corpse that maybe should have stayed buried.

[mrsq8geek]

drew something for @a-driftamongopenstars's TTP2 fic, Be my Achilles! GO READ IT IT'S AMAZING thank you

#the talos principle 2 #it looks like a screenshot #like in photomode #but it's not it's actually digital art #couldn't tell at first

[mrsq8geek]

my dad who would rather die than admit he's autistic and not 'better educated' says that all relationships are transactional, up to and including your relationship with god*. but the transaction is sometimes with yourself -- like people aren't inherently good, people do good things because it releases the "i did a good thing" chemicals in your brain. that's true but it doesn't feel very actionable.

* according to him, you worship because you want to get to heaven and not go to hell, and inner feelings are secondary. which... sure, if you believe the almighty made a promise that will be kept if you do x and y, go for it, but maybe don't say that in front of people who worship for other reasons, dad, especially when you claim to be a social expert.

i'm the opposite of you op, my emotions are big and deep so i look like i'm too sensitive or overreacting. however, for as much as i can care about someone, i cannot perform the social requirement of remembering trivial details about them. not that i don't care, just that there's a sieve in my brain where that kind of social information is supposed to go. i don't remember that it's your birthday, i don't remember that you fought with your mom last week, i don't know how long you've been working on your project, and i definitely don't remember your favourite aunt is in the hospital dying. but i want to listen to you talk about it all the same! i just struggle with prompting because i have nothing to draw on.

so to me, a friend is someone where i put in the effort to maintain that relationship. where i actively tell myself "most people won't just talk about their day, you have to ask them". if it's someone i see less frequently, might review our old messages so i'll remember what's been going on in their lives ans ask about that.

but for my closest friends, that understanding is already there. tell me about your day/week/month/year and i'll you about mine, no social interest dance needed.

i like when autistic people make spreadsheets of different kinds of friendships because it really is a wide range of people. the friend i'll ask for advice about work is different from the friend i'll ask to drive me to the hospital is different from the friend i'll ask to play games with, but they're all important.

anyway, here is a recent post about making friends. i like it because it came at a time where i was leaving my comfort zone to make new friends and talking to a bunch of new people. most of those talks either fizzled out or remained surface-level casual, but i made one new friend who is closer than the rest!

they're all some kind of neurodivergent though oops

anyway i saw "what is a friend" and i cackled because every time it comes up it's like

Random ass question, but my blog name should explain why.

What the hell is the social definition of a friend??

Why are they so difficult to find? What is one?? Please... I don't understand this. Is it just someone you talk to? Is going out a requirement? I don't feel emotions due to alexithymia, so am I supposed to hold an emotion towards a person in order for them to be a friend???

What is this?!

[mrsq8geek]

this has been on my mind

to me, the first set of questions reads like it's being asked by children.

the second set comes from adults.

when you're young, so much of the world is inaccessible to you and so many of your problems are small that it makes sense that if a solution exists, it would be applied. why not use magic to get rid of the wheelchair, something that stops you from doing things and cuts you off from friends?

but adults know that even if real medicine existed that could get you out of the wheelchair, there's a million other things in the way. even in the best circumstances, things rarely fully heal.

when you're kids, all of your problems come from adults. your world is tiny. school, your family, some friends. your teachers or your parents are the primary antagonist. you don't think there's anyone stronger than mom or dad or teacher. you don't even know the school principle exists until you're a bit older.

when you're adults, your problems still come from other adults. but now you know there's often little point of taking it to your boss' principle. because it's very likely all the rest of the adults up the chain suck too.

i think the stories that are for children, that use children's logic, are important too. in the story, things make sense. you can ditch the wheelchair. you won't ever go hungry. you wake up and get on your horse and the horse takes you to school. where you are also president. everyone is young, nobody gets old, because magic.

that's as important as stories where you learn to accept the wheelchair, to understand that artificial food scarcity might be due to incompetence or greed, that cars need fuel and maintenance and public transport will cost you your sanity and what little faith you have in humanity. you won't be the president, but you might still be a great whatever in your field, which you're now aware of because you're older. oh, and people get old and sick die.

stories for adults answer nitty gritty worldbuilding questions because adults have some idea of how the world works. often the person writing the story will incorporate the experience or interests into the worldbuilding. because stories for adults are no less about making sense of the world than stories for kids, they just have a bigger vocabulary, a bigger set of tools to work with.

and yeah sometimes the tools are our teachers and bosses lmao

[mrsq8geek]

[mrsq8geek]

hes on the rooftop

#why is this so good #this is old school #idk who you are but i love you

[mrsq8geek]

thinking about disembodied video game voices.

[mrsq8geek]

[mrsq8geek]

DELETE THIS POST

[mrsq8geek]

sunt lacrimae rerum

#rip new alex #rip al's legs #it's not a screenshot? #coulda fooled me #al suffering is so reliable #sorry al

[mrsq8geek]

Something about having an universal translator, and learning to understand without it

[mrsq8geek]

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

[mrsq8geek]

[mrsq8geek]

[mrsq8geek]

You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.

Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.

[mrsq8geek]

HOW IT FEELS WHEN A MUTUAL DOESNT HAVE A BOOP BUTTON

[mrsq8geek]

nothing will ever amaze me the way fanfiction authors do. like, you wrote silly little stories about my favorite little guys? and i can read them?? for free??? that’s fucking wild.

you poured your heart and soul and very being into your writing and then put it out there for anyone to read? insane.

you spend a truly incredible amount of time writing novel-length, high quality stories, again, FOR FREE, that anyone can read, again, FOR FREE??

shoutout to every single fic author in existence, you guys are fucking incredible and i love all of you so much