motherfuckingteatime

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blood “loss”? well it’s not lost. i know exactly where it went. right over there.

[motherfuckingteatime]

[motherfuckingteatime]

love is stored in the cow!

[motherfuckingteatime]

uterus culture is forgetting all the weird symptoms that come along with your period every month and wondering why you’re feeling some kind of way until you Realize

[motherfuckingteatime]

[motherfuckingteatime]

Maybe we don’t hear as much about organized crime these days because they’ve gotten REALLY organized.

[motherfuckingteatime]

avengers 4: carol danvers uses tony stark as a baseball bat and beats the fuck out of thanos

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A TINY, FEARLESS LEADER

[motherfuckingteatime]

[motherfuckingteatime]

“not all men” you’re right, chidi anagonye, a former professor of ethics and moral philosophy, would never do this

[motherfuckingteatime]

literally desaturate any frame from john m.ulaney’s latest standup and it looks like it’s from a variety show in 1935

[motherfuckingteatime]

what is the january mood?

[motherfuckingteatime]

“Inappropriate student-teacher relationship” doesn’t always mean something sexual. My high school art teacher’s drug dealer was one of her own students, and you better believe he got straight As in that class - like, what are you going to do, give your weed man a B- because he doesn’t understand pointilism?

[motherfuckingteatime]

oh?

Oh??

OH??

OH???

ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS RCOK COS ROCKS OTSOCK TOCKS

[motherfuckingteatime]

the cashier asked me how im gonna pay like in terms of cash or card and i just said “money” cause i meant cash and she went “thats how it works”

[motherfuckingteatime]

you call it “really bad at darts”, I call it freestyle acupuncture

[motherfuckingteatime]

the best trick blizzard ever pulled was tricking a bunch of homophobic gamer dudes into shelling out hundreds of dollars for the collectors’ edition of a game with a lesbian on the box because it came with a statue of a gay man