monosyar

[monosyar]

chose recovery:) goodbye guys

[monosyar]

new year new me. im gonna lose 10 more kilograms this year I don't care 🐢

[monosyar]

i horribly miss how thin i was. losing every week.

[monosyar]

at December 1st some type of spirit had to possess me or sth bc i actually got terrified after my visit to doc & fainting so i started eating up to 3000-4000 calories. i accepted recovery to get back nutritions nd gain weight to get my period back.

every. single. day. i was eating thousands of calories uncontrollably for whole day and i gained 2kgs worth of fat in December. i hated this month so much—knowing that i entered 2024 fat. but this also gave me huge motivation because last year (2023) i lost 11kgs even though i was already at "normal" weight. but this year will be my fucking year. if i managed it last year then i can too now. plus last year i weren't on edtwt, i didn't knew anything other than what calories nd fasting was, and i didn't know tricks. now i do. this year WILL be my year.

#anatumblr #tw ana diary #aneroxia nervosa #eating disoder trigger warning #4norexi4 #ed relapse

[monosyar]

THIS. plus the fact that its the best distraction

honestly after working out i also felt less hungry for example when i was getting binge urges id tell myself to workout first, or do sit-ups, jumping jacks and etc and after working out i was ofc exhausted=less hungry and too dizzy to even find hunger about food. so i would just drink a lot of water and rest a lot (after stretching ofc, stretching after workout is so important to also keep u more energized.)

Genuinely what helped me throughout my wl journey (alongside starving/restrictive eating lol) was working out. ALWAYS. working out. it played main role in my metabolism boost and fat burning, and i dont mean like those stupid "abs in 7 days!! lose 20kgs!" that bs. full body HIIT workouts is literally the key to everything.

[monosyar]

Look at what you are about to eat. Then read this. Are you hungry? Are you really hungry? Could you go without it? Think of how great you'll feel. Think how great you'll look. Push it to one side. Down a pint of water. Now. Right now. Halve the plate. Throw one half away. Now look back at the food. Are you still hungry? Go and look in the mirror. Right now. Turn to the side. List from rop to bottom which bits you want to change. Write them down. Read it. Twice. Go and brush your teeth. Drink another glass of water. Do 10 sit-ups. Don't you feel great? Yeah, look at you. Look at the food. You don't wanna eat that. How great do you feel? How good are you doing? Throw the other half away. Give it to someone else. Put it away somewhere. I bet you feel good now. Do 10 more sit-ups. Go and take shower. Look at yourself in the mirror. Turn to the side. That's gonna look so much better tomorrow morning. Think about what happens when you eat something. You chew it, you swallow, it goes into your stomach. Then slowly your body absorbs all those calories, all that sugar, all that fat. Go look in the mirror. Poke your belly. Sqeeze your arms and legs. Have a glass of water. Delicious refreshing, filling water. Free of calories. Super healthy. Now, think of someone skinny. Super beautiful. You're gonna look like them. Now think of someone fat. Someone you've seen, someone you know, someone famous. You aren't them. They envy you. They want to be you. Look at you, you are fucking beautiful. Get up. Stretch. Feel your ribs. Think of that fat person. Think of all the fat covering their body. Chubby. Fat. Chunky. Squishy. Gross. Obese. Tubby. Plump. Thick. Porky... STILL HUNGRY?

[monosyar]

We are so back.

#anatumblr #ana nervosa #tw ana diary #aneroxia nervosa #eating disoder trigger warning #4norexi4 #tw restrictive ed #ed relapse

[monosyar]

I hate mean @norexics

Like wtf aren’t we supposed to be on the same team??

[monosyar]

It’ll get easier. As soon as you start seeing the results. The flat stomach. The thigh gaps. The comfort when sitting down. No more need to hide in big clothes. The easiness will come from being satisfied when you look in the mirror. Everything will be easier. You won’t even have to think about doing it. As soon as you see the results, it gets so easy, like it’s happening on its own.

[monosyar]

am I the only one who’s like deluding themself into believing there is no ed / disordered behaviour and as soon as I reach my ugw, I’ll just increase my calories and be normal?

(it can’t be that easy, can it?)

[monosyar]

had to break my fast because my mom forced me to eat cause i nearly died yesterday and this morning. wow.

#anatumblr #ana nervosa #tw ana diary #aneroxia nervosa #eating disoder trigger warning #4norexi4 #tw restrictive ed #ed relapse #ed bullshit #tw ed diet

[monosyar]

You will get there. This is progress, you’re making progress. Every day, every step, every c@lorie you burn. You are making progress. Do not give up, push through this feeling and reach that goal. You’re so close.

[monosyar]

realistic christmas list:

lose 20 pounds

thigh gap

be skinny af

[monosyar]

i love u so much for this

instead of chocolate drink coffee.

instead of soda drink water.

instead of icecream eat yoghurt.

instead of white rice have it brown.

instead of chips have veggies.

instead of eggs take out the yolk.

instead of oil use spray.

if not oil or spray use water.

if theres the option have it low fat.

do you really need that sugar? use stevia.

if you wouldn't eat a tablespoon of oil don't eat greasy food.

not everything good is fried.

learn what hunger really is.

romanticize denying food.

fetishize your hunger.

none of your friends would eat it why should you?

if your "meta day" means binging 1500 calories you're a fatass, no way around it.

your goal is to be thinspo not to keep admiring it.

would you rather spend money on food or stay hungry and less broke?

the more bones you show the prettier it makes you.

people should be able to count your ribs if they were to see them, not see an outline of what they could be.

would you really wanna break your fast for that? think of the long term benefits of not stuffing your face.

keep these as a reminder to think before you eat.

[monosyar]

instead of chocolate drink coffee.

instead of soda drink water.

instead of icecream eat yoghurt.

instead of white rice have it brown.

instead of chips have veggies.

instead of eggs take out the yolk.

instead of oil use spray.

if not oil or spray use water.

if theres the option have it low fat.

do you really need that sugar? use stevia.

if you wouldn't eat a tablespoon of oil don't eat greasy food.

not everything good is fried.

learn what hunger really is.

romanticize denying food.

fetishize your hunger.

none of your friends would eat it why should you?

if your "meta day" means binging 1500 calories you're a fatass, no way around it.

your goal is to be thinspo not to keep admiring it.

would you rather spend money on food or stay hungry and less broke?

the more bones you show the prettier it makes you.

people should be able to count your ribs if they were to see them, not see an outline of what they could be.

would you really wanna break your fast for that? think of the long term benefits of not stuffing your face.

keep these as a reminder to think before you eat.

[monosyar]

new lw: 41.7

words can't describe how happy i was yesterday when i saw those numbers on scale.

cw: 42.1 !!!

i am extremely happy with my progress. lately im eating less and im gaslighting my parents and people around me that I took up into recovery. honestly it feels shit lying to them but it's better than getting forced to eat

[monosyar]

Some days ago, i think i lost little bit.

I wish my arms were smaller im fucking fatass

#anatumblr #ana nervosa #eating disoder trigger warning #tw ana diary #4norexi4 #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #aneroxia nervosa #ed relapse