monicabutnotfromfriends

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That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

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i feel like it must be the height of luxury and decadence to be a kid sitting in one of those little trailers attached to your parent’s bike, being driven around like some kind of pompous miniature capitalist, relaxing with perhaps a small snack while your personal chauffeur takes you wherever you wish

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So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

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fandom for an American TV show: don’t watch it online! watch the show on TV when it airs so the ratings go up! show your support!

me, a mere European: 

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the year is 2023, marie kondo holds j*ff b*zos by the skin on the back of his neck in front of a public gathering

“does this one spark joy?” she shouts at the restless audience, they boo in response

she snaps his spine like .5mm mechanical pencil lead and throws his lifeless corpse to the crowd, they cheer in response

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Okay maybe mama did raise a fool

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Deadass the funniest fucking part of Aladdin is when the Sultan goes “ah, Jafar, my most trusted advisor” and it cuts to Jafar like this:

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white friend: hey look at this new guy i’m talking to!! :) isn’t he cute??? 

me: ……………… yes! I, am so happy for you.

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red dead depression

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judging by how angry the headline is I think he was actually successful

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you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when im not talking

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The Coca cola company responding to complaints in 1891

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