missjive

[missjive]

A letter to the girl who feels lost ---

I understand that on some days it feels like you're going nowhere.

I don't know how many sleepless night you had, thinking of all the possible reasons why some things aren't really working for you. It's frustrating to feel left behind, but it's even more frustrating when the people you are expecting to understand you kept on putting so much pressure in you.

I don't know how many times your heart got broken, thinking of all the possible reasons why the people you love kept on leaving. There's a feeling of being unworthy to receive the kind of the love you are always trying to give to everyone.

I know the feeling of being left behind.

I know the feeling of wanting to keep people.

I know you've been through a lot this year.

And here you are, looking for answers.

But, it's never your fault; people come and go, and closed doors are redirection. It's not because you weren't enough, but because God has something better in His mind for you.

You may not fully understand why you had to go through this process, but know that one day, He will wipe your tears, and make you dream and fall in love again.

Breathe.

God will never leave you nor forsake you.

He is the only One who will never disappoint you.

[missjive]

Never underestimate yourself even if you have to start all over again. Sometimes life gives you another chance so you can do better than before.

Starting something again is not easy. This is because after a previously failed attempt, we become doubtful about our capabilities. When we begin something with self doubt, we are likely to make more mistakes and end up with more challenges than before.

If you ever have to try something repeatedly, take a pause after the first attempt. Assess and analyse yourself. Try to identify where things went wrong, try to find ways to address those issues. Improve yourself if needed, before you give it another go.

Things take time to happen and sometimes also require multiple attempt. If you have to try something more than once, don’t lose heart. Sometimes you have to try few times but in the end the outcome is much more favourable.

[missjive]

https://yoga.ayush.gov.in/blog?q=58

[missjive]

This election has been a roller coaster ride on my emotions. I felt enraged and disappointed by the senatorial and local election partial results. But somehow overjoyed with the presedentiable and vice presedentiable results..

I only wish for people to be more educated about the politics and get to know more of their functions. Then that way,

[missjive]

May you find genuine people who build a healthy relationship with you. The ones who make you believe in yourself, who are rooting for you and who build you up on days when things get blur and uncertain. But sometimes there's too much already for each one of us, we are all damaged and bruised and most people badly need a hand to keep them believing that better days are heading their way. If you couldn't find one who will be there for you, may you remind yourself that you can always begin it with yourself and be one.

Be one who saves, who nurtures and who builds someone. You are a brave and lovely soul out there fella. And while being gentle on others, it's never selfish to be gentle on yourself too. You need that.

Regardless of who will do it first, know that kindness can always begin in you.

[missjive]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫:

Buying our first house

Accepted failure as part of life and success

Saying "no" to some people

Learned to respect differences

Survived the supertyphoon

Being resilient despite the havoc caused by the supertyphoon

-January 2,2022

[missjive]

Here I am, sitting on the balcony, under the grey skies. Sipping coffee, and watch as the wind and rain intertwined. Remembering all the things I went through, recalling about how I want my life would be ten years ago, figuring out what's going on lately, and smiling at the thought of how I made it to this day. Funny, I still find it funny up to this moment.

Looking at the clouds and wonder, could it possible to wake up the stars in this state of weather? Nothing, I'm just hoping they can give me glimpse of hope that this life will be worth it. It might be so risky asking the stars to come aligned this time, for this gloomy skies is where they hide from, but knowing I have traces of sparks, somehow gives me hope. Even without so much metaphors, nor poetry in my mouth, I wonder if universe could hear me. Up there, to where they shine, could universe give hope to this lonesome soul? I may not seen how it will work for now, but I'm hoping one day waiting will be worth it.

And like a stubborn kid writing on her diary, I'll ask God to make all my dreams come true. So that when I'm no longer around, rest assured my soul will be at peace, knowing my loved ones are all doing okay. I'll grab every chance of happiness this life will be given,

and I'll try my best to serve the purpose God has written for me.

On this sheet I pledge my life, to whom owns it, will have it all. May the pieces I've tried to fix find each perfect place, even if I'm not around anymore. My existence is whole written diary, and with all my strength I'll try to make it to where it supposed to end. To this day forward, I'll make each page filled with courage and bravery. And if my time comes to end, may the words I've written build strength to anyone who needs it.

If I can no longer witnessed the night, I hope on the day I bid goodbye, may the night comes with great sparks and the moon eclipsed. It maybe too much to ask, but I wish for moonlit sky, for the shooting stars to come, and for the stars to keep shimmering till dawn. I wish for a night that is so perfect that nobody can forget. So that even if my memory vanished someday, they'll remember that night, when the sky shines the brightest. And that would be a dream come true to me. 💛

[missjive]

Just when I thought roads gonna lead me nowhere, it comes to me that life isn't just about where your destination is, but how your journey will be going. I'm still alive after all this years, so then I realized I guess I am working just fine. Been bruised, felt lost and pained but maybe it's all part of the journey. And I realized I grow so much as a person, compare to where I start. So I guess it's all working out, maybe?

Honestly I'm at the point of my life where it doesn't really matter to me where I'm gonna be ten or twenty years from now, what matters most to me is where I am today. And as long as I am breathing, I'll do my best to make each breath worthy of me, and I'll hold my hope ten folds that I'll make it to another day.

This journey taught me that our life is extraordinary and unique from one another, so I must just stay focus on my own course, instead of comparing my story to others. Because other's success doesn't mean failure of me. I've been chasing dreams that never meant for me and I'm getting tired of it, so this time I'll trust the process of right timing. I don't care how long it'll take me to reached them, but I won't let the process break my heart again.

I never thought I'll get to this point where I don't really care what people will say about how I live my life. My doors are wide open for anyone to see and I'm all okay with whatever you wanna think of me now. I got tired of explaining myself and I don't feel the need to do so. Knowing how many times I dwell it all inside me makes me realized how much time I wasted being hard on myself. So this time I'm giving it to myself. The convenience of being just me and not taking anyone's approval to feel okay about how I live my life.

Maybe I'm talking so much so absurd but believe me, one way or another, life will put you to a certain point where you'll find it so funny to be able to still breathe despite how exhausting the situation is, by then you'll realized how much capable you are, and how much bravery you carry inside you.

This is me being honest about how rough this journey I'm taking. Acknowledging my downfalls, keeping myself sane as much as possible, and making a promise to myself that I'm not gonna break this time. To where this journey will point me, I believe that God will put me to where I'm supposed to be. 💛

[missjive]

[missjive]

Hello November

I’ve been hurt lately

I’m carrying all of these burdens and no one even noticed that I’m struggling

Is there anybody wants to ask how am I doing? Does someone care?

I’m striving

I want to achieve things

I’m crying a lot lately

Does anybody hear me?

Does anybody see?

Can you tell me that I’m doing great?

Can I surpass all of them?

I want to fight

I will endure

Hardships will make me more stronger

So, thank you

Even I’m just looking at the mirror and talking to myself

I believe I could

It doesn’t stop here

It doesn’t end here

My faith are stronger than before

All of these makes me wiser

So, I’m not gonna stop till I end this fight

God is with me and He’s stronger than all of these

I believe in myself

Even I’m the only person who believe can do it

[missjive]

Perhaps life is about taking the leap, grabbing every chances it gives, and taking every risk possible. Maybe life is about making each day counted, maybe it's about living at the exact moment. With less doubt and more faith. Doesn't matter if we get our goals today or not. Doesn't matter if tomorrow will be so crucial. Doesn't matter if our past is ugly. Doesn't matter if our future is still unsure, but being braver to just survive for another day, is something we should be proud of. For not everyone has the courage to choose themselves at the end of the day.

Maybe life isn't about waiting something to happen, but making something to happen. And no matter how small our accomplishments are, we should celebrate each little success, as long as it makes us feel alive. I guess being a warrior is not always about winning huge things, but staying alive and breathing despite being defeated. We cannot guarantee that we can always win in this life, but being able to stand still after each fall, I think that's the true sign of bravery.

This life is a tangled full of surprises, and what comes next remain mysterious. So live every single day like it's your last draw. Yes we'll get hurt, we'll get broken, and so what? Let it be. Aren't life was made for us to explore and experience? Then we might take every course comes in our journey. Don't stay in narrow streets where life gets crumpled. Let experiences wider the view your seing. Rolled up your sleeves and be ready to get hurt. Wherever our journey points us, it will serve a good purpose in our lives. And one day, everything will make sense.

[missjive]

I know your hope is wearing thin these days, and your courage is worn out too. Maybe you're afraid to lose yourself in this battlefield we're not sure of. And maybe you don't know what it's gonna be ahead. You're probably broke and broken at the same time. I know this ain't what you picture your life to be. I know you're scared to move forward, don't worry I am too. And perhaps we're not the only ones who felt this way. I bet we're all just trying to make things work out, but we're all scared now.

But hey, just be still. I know it's hard to believe that there's still rainbow after the rain, but let's just cling on to this hope. We'll surpass it somehow, we'll figure it out, we can survive this. We're tested so damn well with experiences, there's no way we can't handle this circumstances we're having now. Let's just go get a higher dose of courage, and let's wear thicker skin, we'll need those for sure. This ain't gonna be easy, but we can make it.

There's no safe ground for a longing soul, but we can compromise somehow. Somewhere in this journey we can find a safe place where we can be ourselves, wearing our own skin and won't be afraid to break. Somewhere in this journey, in the most unexpected moment, when we felt the world forget about our existence, you'll find Him. And if you felt that you never did, believe me, He'll find you, even in the darkest place. This ain't sugar-coated words, and I ain't drunk this time.

We're all gonna get broken one way of another. We're all gonna experience grief. We're all gonna get confused and lost. We're all gonna loss someone we love. But that doesn't mean we're not worthy of this life. Pain doesn't makes us less, it makes us braver and wiser.

Just trust every process you need to take. Let this journey teach you what you needed to know. Let this life taught you well enough. This life will just break us, but it shouldn't break our faith. It'll hurt still, but we can make it through, just keep your armor on.

We'll surpass this one. Keep fighting!💛

[missjive]

𝐓𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝. 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡.

[missjive]

I’m learning not to force things to happen.

I’m learning to just let them be, to let them align with my life when the time is right, to the let the universe bring them to me without having to run after them; because if you have to run after something, it means that it doesn’t want to stand still, it doesn’t want to be caught, it doesn’t want to stop at your door. I’m trusting God that what’s meant for me will eventually find me no matter where I am. I’m not going to be passive but I also won’t fight a losing battle.

I’m learning to let love find me.

I’m learning to stop decoding messages and mixed signals and signs and wait for the clear message, the message that is so obvious and easy to understand, the message that doesn’t make you question or second guess anything and the message that you’re truly waiting for.

I’m learning to let those who don’t want me in their lives go, I might even hold the door open for them because I don’t want temporary visitors anymore, I don’t want to share my bed with someone who doesn’t want to spend every night with me and I won’t share my heart with someone who doesn’t want to protect it. I’m learning to let love find me when it’s real, when it’s simple, when it’s mutual and when it’s passionate.

I’m learning to be patient with myself.

I’m learning to take it easy on myself and my plans. I’m learning to be kind to myself when I slip-up and patient enough to make my dreams come true. I’m learning to forgive myself for my mistakes and let them be memories instead of labels. I’m learning to let these mistakes prove that I’ve tried for things that weren’t right for me, that I didn’t always play it safe, that I went for things I was unsure of and that I took chances.

I’m taking the wisdom I got from all these mistakes; the wisdom that taught me that mistakes often happen because we are forcing something that is not meant for us and we are trying to get something we probably shouldn’t have.

I’m learning to stop trying so hard to control my life.

I’m learning that it is okay if I don’t have all the answers or if I’m not where I want to be. I’m learning to let life take its course instead of trying to steer the wheel in another direction. I’m learning that I won’t always get what I want but life will give me what I need. I’m learning to treat life as a friend; trying to understand it, trying to love it when it’s being difficult, trying to accept it even when it’s frustrating me and trying to appreciate the experiences it has provided me with, the memories it gave me, the laughter it brought me and the sadness it put me through just to grow.

I’m learning to let things be and I’m learning to look at life as a person; a person who is also still trying to figure it out, a person who is flawed and a person who wants to be better on most days but falls short on other days like everyone else.

I’m learning to let the force of life move me instead of forcing it to stop.

[missjive]

Don’t be so hard on yourself for not having it together all the time, for not knowing all the answers. You don’t always have to be sure of who you are, otherwise there’ be nothing left to discover. You don’t have to know where you’re headed or have a clear vision of the bigger picture. Sometimes taking one tiny step at a time is more than enough. Sometimes slowing down just to feel the wind blow against you is the beauty of life right there. Wander, be unsure when it is natural to be. Let yourself breathe. We’re all rushing for no reason anyway.

[missjive]

Some tips on how to seem confident in front of a class:

[works for teachers, teachers in training, or also for people who have to do a presentation, it's all about that confidence] 1) Preparation I:

if you meet a class for the first time, prepare what you say to them. Even the most basic hello, my name is XY, my subjects are etc. sentence. You know what you want to say, which means that you don't have to focus on that but can focus on other things.

2) Preparation II:

If you teach a class, prepare what you say as well. Especially at the beginning, prepare the different tasks that the students have to do, so you don't have to look for words or think about what they have to do exactly.

3) Plan, plan, plan: goes hand in hand with the first two: plan everything as detailed as possible. plan the time that the students need, include a short cut when they need to much time, plan the homework, plan also who you are going to call when (students who don't want to talk at the beginning with the easy questions), the better you structure and plan your class the better you feel. This way you know exactly what is going to happen and that brings stability into the class- for the students, but also for yourself. It is, however, also important to have a red thread throughout the lesson that the students can follow. Try to switch from one task into the next seemlessly.

4) Appearance: the goal is not to not be nervous, but just not to show it. I think it's totally normal to be nervous at the beginning, when you start teaching or get a new class. Numerous teachers told me (while observing me) that I am so calm and I don't look nervous at all, even though I was nervous at that time. That's the goal to achieve. First of all: stand on your two feet, hips apart. that gives you stability. Secondly, think about what to do with your hands: don't put them together in front of you- sometimes that can show that you are nervous. Try letting them hang next to your body. It feels weird, but looks totally normal. You can also hold a pen (but don't play with it) or keep a piece of paper/ a tablet that you are going to use during the lesson in your hands. My motto here is: "Fake it til you make it."

5) Motto: a motto/ slogan in general is really good to calm your nerves. Say it to yourself before you go into class and it hopefully make you calmer. Someone on here gave me some advice on teaching and included this slogan: "This is my kingdom." I think this really helps you to realize that you are the boss and if you do it right the students will follow you. Other slogans might be: "I can do this." "I believe in myself." "I have the knowledge to do this." You always have to remember that you know a lot more than the students and you can tell them what to do. You are the authority person in this case!

6) Experience: Lastly, the more you teach the more confident you get. At the beginning you are neither accoustumed to standing in front of a class nor do you know the class. With experience you get a routine that helps you a lot. That's why I don't think it is bad to be nervous. Also I'd like to quote The Martian by Andy Weir here: "I guess you could call it a failure, but I prefer the term learning experience." Not everything will go according to plan- but you can learn from the mistakes and do it better next time. Don't be afraid to try things out, nothing bad can happen- you can just decide that it didn't work for you.

I hope this helps (especially for the person who asked for my advice, but also other people !). If you have other tips, feel free to share!

[missjive]

Jeremiah 31:25