miserybqsiness - Tumblr blog

miserybqsiness · 10 months

Text

I love this sm oh my gosh😭

(not my gif)

. . . .

title: "back to you"

req: no

warnings: profanity, angst?, idk

pairing: tom delonge x fem!reader

blink masterlist

. . . .

track 8: everytime

i get tired of your no-shows. you get tired of my control. they keep telling me to let go, but i don't really let go when i say so. i keep giving people blank stares. i'm so different when you're not there. it's like something out of shakespeare because i'm really not here when you're not there. i try to fight our energy, but every time i think i'm free you get high and call on the regular, i get weak and fall like a teenager. why, oh, why does God keep bringing me back to you? i get drunk, pretend that i'm over it. self-destruct, show up like an idiot. why, oh, why does God keep bringing me back to you. i go back to you every time.

. . . .

october 20th, 2001

tom stood you up .. again. this was becoming routine. every single time there was a plan to meet up, you would show up, he wouldn't, then thirty minutes later, he would text you, saying "sorry babe, i have to stay at the studio longer than i expected :/ i'll make it up to you" or some excuse like that. you knew that he was a huge rockstar and had huge rockstar duties to deal with, but this would happen every single fuckin time.

you stared at the well expected text from your boyfriend. you weren't surprised that he did this again, but you felt like an idiot for falling for it.

that was the reason you broke up with tom the first time.

...

march 8th, 2004

your attention left the show that was playing due to your phone ringing. you reached for it and looked at the caller ID which read "unknown" and without thought, you flipped your phone open and answered.

"hello" you answered while getting up off your bed.

"y/n .. hey" you heard the familiar voice that made your stomach drop.

"t-tom?" you asked, in complete disbelief. in your defense, you hadn't heard from him in three years.

"yeah," he started, you could hear the smile on his face from the tone of his voice

"how are you" he slurred, he was drunk

"what do you want, tom?" you sighed, ignoring his question

"honestly, i didn't think you still had this number." he started.

"but i wanted to ask you if you still lived in LA"

"why, tom?" you asked

"i wanted to know if you.. i don't know.. wanted to go ou-"

"no, no, no, tom, i'm not going out with you again" you cut him off.

"wait, please, y/n/n, i'm free all week" he pleaded

"tom, no, you're drunk, the only reason you're calling me is because-"

"y/n, baby, i'm sorry that i fucked you over. i know i fucked up, okay?" you stayed silent, debating on if you were gonna hang up or not

"let me make it up to you" he finished.

you could hear the hope in his voice. you squeezed your eyes shut before responding

"i don't know, tom" you sighed

"how do i know you won't stand me up"

"i'll pick you up" he responded quickly. his voice got a little louder, indicating that he was excited

"just text me your address, and i'll be there"

"now?" you asked, a little confused.

"no, not now. sometime this week, though. i'll call you to let you know, okay?" he asked

"okay, tom" you smiled

"alright, i gotta go, y/n/n. i'll text you later, okay?" he asked

"alright, tom"

after the call ended, you felt a wave of excitement go through your body. a huge part of you was happy that you were gonna go out with tom, but the other half was saying it was a bad idea.

and just like that, somehow, some way, tom had snuck back into your life. he took you out on a few dates before asking you to be his girlfriend (again) everyone you knew told you not to go back to him, with the fact that you were so hurt when things had ended, but you (for some unknown reason) still loved him.

the relationship only lasted about a year. don't get me wrong, the two of you were happier than ever when you got back together, like full-on honeymoon phase. a lot of people told you that the relationship was moving too fast when it got to the point that you were moving in with him, it wasn't like you listened to them because you were truly happy, everything was going great... but then blink started having trouble, and by "trouble" i mean him and his two best friends were fighting almost on a daily basis, and that led to him coming home drunk and pissed off.

january 3rd, 2005

you sat on the couch in the living room, on the phone with mark's wife, skye. the sound of the front door slamming immediately caught your attention as you looked behind you to see who had came in.

"tom?" you asked

seconds later, you saw your 6'4 boyfriend. he completely ignored your presence and went upstairs. you heard another door slam, which confirmed your thought that he was pissed.

"what? tom's back already?" skye asked

"yeah" you sighed

"something tells me the boys had another argument" you said, and you heard skye sigh.

"this is happening every day now" she pointed out

"yeah" you agreed

"i'm gonna go see what's up with tom. i'll call you later"

"alright, girl, good luck!" skye responded

"thanks, i'm gonna need it" you half-heartedly joked before the phone hung up.

you stood up from the comfort of your couch and made your way to walk to the bedroom you shared with tom. you were only halfway up the steps when tom appeared at the top, and he rushed down past you

"are you okay?" you asked

"i'm fine" he responded as he picked up his keys he had thrown on the kitchen table when he previously walked in

"hey, where are you going?" you asked, following him.

"out." he dryly responded as he picked up one of his hats and put it on.

"out where?" you questioned

"why do you care?" he looked down at you, sass in his voice

"because you said you were going to the studio and not even two hours later, you come in, slamming doors and shit"

"so what?" he asked, walking away from you

"so, what's wrong, tom? what happened in the two hours you were gone?" you continued to follow him

"it's none of your fucking business what happened, y/n" he snapped, looking at you once again

"can i do one fucking thing without you on my ass about it?" he asked

you broke eye contact with him, looking down at your feet before looking back at him

"i'm just trying help, tom. the only reason i'm always on your ass is because you never fucking tell me whats going on with you" you snapped back at him

ignoring you, tom walked to the front door.

"you know what? i don't feel like dealing with your shit right now" you calmly said while leaning against a wall.

"oh, yeah? well, how about you get out of my fucking house if you're so fed up with me" he stated

"wait, wha-" you started before tom cut you off

"yeah, matter of fact. we're fucking done, y/n. im sick of you constantly nagging in my ear"

"you can't just kick me out. this is my house, too, tom!" you raised your voice

"all i'm trying to do is fucking help you" you finished

"yelling at me isn't a good way to "help" me" tom yelled back, putting up air quotations

"tom, i-"

"it's over, y/n" he cut you off before (once again) slamming the front door in your face.

after that night, tom called you almost every night for a month. you never picked up. you were hurt that he threw you out the way he did. although you fought with him a lot, you still loved him. it wasn't long after he dumped you that the band broke up, it wasn't very surprising, anyway. you saw it coming. you stayed in touch with skye and mark after the break up. but still, it took you months to get over him. ehen it got out that tom had left you, it felt as if almost everyone you knew were laughing. you heard the saying "i told you so" at least 5 times a week.

...

june 17th, 2023

skye had invited you to come to the blink reunion concert. originally, you wanted to decline because you knew that tom was most definitely going to be there, but you ended up going because you honestly did want to see mark, tom, and travis perform for the first time in almost twenty years.

once the concert had ended, you had planned on leaving immediately, but you got distracted by catching up with travis and meeting his wife. after that conversation ended, you started a conversation with skye. you weren't really talking about anything, it was just regular best friend talk (if that makes sense).

"oh shit" you cursed, cutting skye off.

"what?" she looked behind her to see what you were looking at

that's when you locked eys with him.

"fuck, it's tom, he saw me. i gotta go, i don't really want to talk to him" you rushed to pick up your purse and stood up

"i'll see you later, tell mark and jack i said hi" you said before turning and going directly to the door.

you were rushing to get out of the arena, you had followed skye into the building earlier so you didn't really know where you were going. after turning for what seemed to be the twentyth time, you gave up, you turned around and it felt as if your heart stopped. tom was right there in front of you.

fuck.

"are you lost?" tom asked

"are you following me?" you crossed your arms around your chest

"no" he replied, walked past you, and picked up a bag of chips that was on a table that had a variety of snacks

"why are you here?" you asked

"hey, i don't know if you saw, but i played tonight, and i came in here to get these" he held the bag up so you could see

"why are you here?"

"skye told me to come and now i'm leaving" you answered, fixing your purse strap on your shoulder, turning around and exiting the room

"yeah, i saw you were with her earlier, then you ran out the room like a crazy person" he said while following you

"you know why i left the room, tom" you sighed while turning to the next hallway you saw.

"actually, i don't" he replied before opening his bag of chips

"want one?" he asked while holding the bag out to you

you stopped walking to look up at him then down at the bag

"you know i don't like cheetos" you said before walking again.

"so, why did you leave the room the way you did" he asked before taking a bite of his chips

"because you walked in, tom. i really didn't wanna see you"

"why would you come to my show if you didn't wanna see me?" he asked

"i don't fuckin' know. skye invited me. i just told you that" you said while turning to another hallway

"where the hell are you going?" tom asked, still following you.

"i'm leaving, tom" you snapped as you stopped walking to look up at your ex, he stopped walking, too.

"well" he started, taking another bite of his chips.

"you're not going the right way" he finished.

"i'll show you the way out if you ask nicely" he said, looking down at you

why the hell was he so tall

"i don't need your help." you replied, continuing to walk the way you were going.

"goodbye, tom"

"that's not the right way." he called out, still in the same spot as before.

you ignored him and continued walking.

"no, really, you're going the exact opposite way" he said

you stopped walking and turned to him

"if you know so much, then show me the way out"

tom was silent for a few seconds due to him still eating his chips.

"no" he said

"no?" you repeated, confusion in your voice

"you didn't ask nicely."

you rolled your eyes at his response

"will you please show me the way out?" you asked

"follow me" he said before turning around.

you let out a sigh of frustration before running to catch up with him.

"so" he started

"how have you been"

oh, great, he was trying to start a conversation

"i've been good." you answered

"anything cool happen to you?" he asked

"i got a cat" you said, knowing he wasn't the biggest fan of cats.

"oh. i thought you were allergic" he said

"i'm allergic to the hair, yeah, but mac's hairless"

"mac? you named your hairless cat 'mac'?"

"malcolm, actually." you corrected him

"what about you?" you asked

"oh, i don't have a cat"

"no, dumbass. i mean how have you been" you laughed a little bit.

"oh, well, i'm back in the band" he exclaimed

"yeah, i've noticed" you smiled at him. you could tell how excited he was about being back with mark and trav.

"and, uh, i work with the government 'n' shit" he added

"wait, what?" you looked up at him.

"what?" he asked

"why?"

"oh, i'm finding out the truth about aliens, you know"

"only you, tom" you said as you looked up the the red exit sign above huge double doors

"thank you for helping me find the way out, by the way" you said while opening the door

"oh, its nothing" he said while walking outside with you.

"what are you doing?" you asked him

"what? it's 11:30 at night, i'm not gonna leave you out here by yourself, there's a bunch of old guys out here" he defended himself while throwing the empty cheeto bag in the trashcan next to him

"whatever, tom." you rolled your eyes

you continued catching up with tom as the both of you walked to your car. the show had ended about 2 hours before, so the parking lot was somewhat empty. once your car was in sight, you took your keys out of your purse and unlocked the car as tom told you about the film he was making.

"well, this is me" you said as you stopped in front of your car.

"thanks for walking me, tom. i bet all the old guys out here were shaking in their boots when they saw me with another old guy" you joked which caused him to chuckle

"whatever, y/n. i so saved you from being kidnapped." he rolled his eyes and leaned on your car

"so, can i get your number" he asked out of nowhere

"why would i give you my number?" you asked, while looking up at him

"i don't know, i just thought that we could maybe start talking again. i mean, unless you got a boyfriend or somethin'." he trailed off, looked down at his feet, and put his hands in his pockets.

was he actually shy?

"actually no, i don't have a boyfriend, tom"

"are you married?" he asked, looking at you.

you raised your hand out so he could see it

"do you see a ring on my finger?" you asked with sass in your voice.

he looked down at your hand before looking back at you.

"can i have your number, then?"

"i don't know, tom, i haven't seen you in eighteen years. i don't think i'm ready to date you again" you explained

"who said anything about dating?" he smirked down at you

you broke eye contact with him and looked to the side and thought for a couple seconds.

"fine, tom. whatever." you said while pulling your phone out of your pocket, pressing on 'add new contact', and handing it to him.

"don't make me regret this" you said as you watched him type his number into your phone

"what's that supposed to mean?" he asked, taking his attention from the phone to you.

"give me my phone" you ignored his question and took your phone back from him and you saw that he had made the contact.

the contact name read "tom (your ex)"

"thanks for reminding me that i've dated you before" you said sarcastically.

you texted a quick 'hey' to him and turned your phone off.

"i texted you" you informed him as you opened your car door.

"thanks, y/n/n." he smiled

the nickname he used sent chills down your spine. he was one of a few people that called you by it. you hadn't had anyone call you that in literal years and hearing it come from tom felt a little weird.

"i'll see you later, tom" you smiled before getting your car.

you saw him back up a little, put his hand up, and waved goodbye.

about thirty minutes after leaving, you got a text from tom which read, "when can i see you again?" you didn't answer right away since you were driving, but when you read it, it had you smiling like a total idiot.

it took you a couple seconds, but once you caught yourself smiling so hard, you immediately knew how you really felt about him

"god, why do i keep going back to him?"

13 notes · View notes