miitoe

[miitoe]

dwarf fortress fucks so hard. my current fort has an occasional patron who is an 86 year old owl lady named 'the frozen one' who spent the first couple of years just perching in trees and watching my dwarves. a two headed fire breathing ettin came to lay siege to the place before I had a proper military established, and while I was freaking out trying to lock doors she just. floated down and tore him in half. when I checked her inventory, all she had was a plain brown dress, socks, shoes, and a pair of gloves. she just ripped him down the middle like a phonebook with her bare talons.

later while checking out other visitors I discovered that almost every bard in the fortress had been her apprentice at some point. eventually she came inside to check out the taverns, and now she just sits around watching performances and getting into arguments about them, feeling nothing. I love her so much.

[miitoe]

09 23091908 21161514 251521 01 07151504 12090605.

[miitoe]

which hermit's reaction to scar trying to prank them by sneaking up on them in a creeper suit are YOU:

cub: say 'not today' and shoot at it, killing him instantly

hypno: slowly back away in terrified confusion

grian: see through his disguise, but get scared by the creeper explosion sound anyway. then join him.

joe hills: ask him to explain the mechanics of his prank to you

doc: flee for your life through a portal to another dimension

cleo: call him words that will make his video unwatchable

bdubs: punch him in the face. with your sword.

scar: forget the plot of your own prank and get jumpscared by grian

[miitoe]

NEW IMPORTANT MINECRAFT LORE

Between Steve and Alex, Alex is the one more suited to combat

Steve, meanwhile is

Well Steve is just me

[miitoe]

Im a bit confused, why do people hate cishets? Im pan myself but I dont get why people say bad stuff about them.

#lgbtqia #lgbtq

[miitoe]

after MONTHS of stalling i finally got this finished! all my current hermit designs, subject to change at any moment (especially if xisuma keeps changing his dang skin). plus a couple of bonus pals that i think deserve honorary hermit status.

close ups under the cut!

also pearl before i had to change her, RIP the cute hood i drew

[miitoe]

god i love reading about stupid drama in ancient greece. like there was an athlete named theagenes who was so good at every kind of athletic contest that when he died, one of his opponents would go to beat the shit out of a statue of him out of spite, but then one day the statue fell on the guy and killed him so the greeks took the statue to court for murder, convicted it, and threw it into the sea

[miitoe]

welcome to story time with grian

[miitoe]

I know that thinking sonic is like kind of cringey or whatever is kind of the default state of the internet but if you genuinely harbor real hatred for sonic the hedgehog I think there's something wrong with you. Hes a blue hedgehog who likes to run fast. he follows his heart. if you hate him you are sick

[miitoe]

Holy shit that testimony about the sexual assault with the bottle was fucking disgusting and doesn’t make sense????

Ma’am, you just testified that you were severely beaten for hours, fucking raped with a broken bottle, losing control of your bladder. You fucking bled, “I remember there was blood on the floor…”

And after all of this, you got no fucking medical attention? Told none of the concierge doctors? Nothing?

(Edit: Amber made the distinction, that despite the scene of multiple broken bottles during the 3 day hostage blur that was the Australia incident, that Johnny did not forcely penetrate her with what she calls “the broken one”. Hopefully that clears that up!)

[miitoe]

How the hell do I tumblr?

#howtotumblr #iamveryconfused #sendhelp

[miitoe]

W What did you just say?

wait the Minecraft movie is going to be live action??

why??

[miitoe]

Shhhh

Author: *sees character is having a bad time*

Author: *looks at character with pity*

Also author: *pours gasoline over character and lights match* *roasts marshmallow over the fire*

[miitoe]

You’ve been to thousands, maybe even millions of universes. You can hardly remember you’ve been to so many. Every single one is different. Except for one random constant, and it is driving you insane: you always materialize in front of a funky-looking bard playing the lute, singing songs about great impending doom.

[miitoe]

NOT TUMBLR BEING ON TRENDING BC ELON MUSK WILL BUY TWITTER

I want them twitterinas off my hellsite 🤺🤺🤺

[miitoe]

Pirate jokes