mightyaphrodytee

[mightyaphrodytee]

florida!!! by taylor swift feat. florence + the machine

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MY FIRST VISIT TO FLORIDA, January 1995, Palm Beach

Dad’s funeral, the whirlwind of seeing Rachel and Keelan for the first time in 12 years, absorbing the loss even as I felt no true grief for the man, only grief for a wound that would now never be healed, grief that my daughter lost a POTENTIAL actual grandfather—the last she had, staying in THAT HOUSE/MANSION IN PALM SPRINGS, Boz being shattered, Karina and Dorothy and Walter and their grief, the Ireland of it all being SO HEAVY, how warm and sunny it was even in late January, the High Catholicism funeral in the cathedral complete with incense and me (ME!) being asked to do a READING of some selected…scripture?—must’ve been, I can’t remember because honestly, it was all too much. Two days. Not enough yet too much all at once.

Yes I’m haunted but I’m feeling just fine

FLORIDA!!!

SECOND VISIT TO FLORIDA: April 1997, Orlando

With James, to Disney World and Universal Studios, Clay has a condo for us, surprise! Clay’s already there! I’ll pay for all the admission to everywhere if you just pay for your flight, DEAL!, being dependent on a cane, in constant pain while weight-bearing but my dr had not yet figured out what it was, seeing Rachel again under much better circumstances, light recreational drug use while partying with James and Clay and Rachel on whatever island that was, late at night, everybody drunk, we were drunk, Rachel and Clay hitting it off and dancing with a hundred other people VERY SUGGESTIVELY, and James’s subsequent meltdown over Clay wanting to be somehow sexual with A WOMAN and he’s a whore and on and on and then the next day sober acting like it never happened because nothing whatsoever happened between Rachel and Clay omg, going on all the rides before everybody else, no standing in line, because I was LITERALLY CANE DEPENDENT, the sensory overload, it was all 100% amazing and I was very sad to leave.

This was the first significant amount of time I got to hang with Rachel, and I fell in love. Sisters!

I have some regrets

I’ll bury them in

FLORIDA!!!

THIRD VISIT TO FLORIDA: November 1999, Palm Beach, Rachel’s wedding

Drunk, emotional, fabulous experience that felt like living through a hurricane. Of feelings! The Palm Beach Hotel, the spa at the PGA Gardens, the last day brunch on the beach when it was cloudy and drizzly and windy, the rehearsal dinner at that dope restaurant on Worth Avenue, the party at the Phippsberger’s with Inigo spraying tequila into my open mouth with a spray bottle and drunk driving golf carts around the estate, Boz in a cow suit (!!!), talking to Walter and getting some details about Dad’s childhood, feeling very Irish, very Butler heavy, Marie getting so hammered she fell down on the pavement (which, boy do I retroactively empathize with how bad that must’ve hurt), that chat with Jeannie about Dad omg, Miranda’s blossoming beauty that was definitely attractive to boys, the fun she had being a bridesmaid, her and Blanaid’s instant connection, that awful Patrick, getting high with Keelan at the reception in the tall hedges in front of Dad’s memorial tree, that friend of Dad’s who sat at our table and upon learning who I was, informed me that my father hadn’t been married prior to his marriage to Rachel’s mom, with such audacity and authority, my polite yet forceful recitation of the fact that I was, in fact, Jim’s oldest biological DAUGHTER and oh btw this girl next to me is his ONLY GRANDCHILD SO FAR, and him taking a moment to process, then saying ohhhhh, New York. Yeah, asshole, I thought. NEW YORK. After that he realized who we were, asked about Jay, and kissed our asses for hours. Hilarious. A fever dream. Joy and sorrow and gratitude and love all in one chaotic three-day weekend.

It’s one hell of a drug

FLORIDA!!!

FOURTH VISIT TO FLORIDA: March 2001, Daytona Bike Week

Wild veer between severely traumatic and utterly blissful. Met Lisa <3 Day. Loved her. Fran and Ron ditto. The other Ron, the one who gave us his cat before he retired. Waking and baking (except my husband.) Copious quantities of alcohol. Too much alcohol, as it turned out. The 10 pills, the hate in my heart for my husband, the ambulance, the ER, the coldness he displayed towards me for the rest of the trip despite knowing HE was the reason I kinda wanted to die and which he continued for a few days after we got home, as per usual. Passive-aggressive fuckery. One hell of a drug, charcoal is.

Tell me I’m despicable

Say it’s unforgivable

FLORIDA!!!

FIFTH VISIT TO FLORIDA: the very next month, April 2001

Orlando, West Palm, Palm Beach, Cocoa Beach, Julie and Sharon and Lisa Day (again!), in Cocoa Beach when the weather was so bad the wind was whipping the sand straight into our FACES, rendering sitting on the beach impossible (we joked it was free microdermabrasion to make us feel better that the one day we had all together was under such shitty weather), getting drunk instead and ordering takeout from Denny’s the next morning, hungover as fuck, Rachel and baby Liam, her husband basically ripping me off for $50 by taking my money to go get me weed, never to be heard from again), getting cafe con leches and Cuban sandwiches with Keelan, madness, escapism, all manner of substance abuse (just weed and alcohol, but some of the drinks and liquor store runs produced some increasingly complex cocktails), desperately delaying my return to real life, which was circling the drain back home, the dread was a physical thing I felt every single minute, but thankfully cell phones were limited, we didn’t have any, but still…and yet. Control was exerted and I submitted and went home strictly because I love my daughter.

So you pack your life away

Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas

FLORIDA!!!

And I’ve never been back. It all seems like a fever dream of colors and heightened emotions and hotel rooms and mansions and a hurricane with my name and me and my ghosts and laying to rest all the bodies that had been on my body and barricading myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine, check, check, check.

#florida!!! #talk about resonating with a song #true stories

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#fbbc #family business beer #jensen ackles #taproom closure

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#metallica #funeral for a friend/love lies bleeding #sir elton john #they bonded when elton told them and the world that nothing else matters was the greatest song ever written #it made james cry #so this is beautiful #also my favorite elton song #win/win #Youtube

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The most pronounced thing about Schwartz is his passive-aggression. Everyone knows what his public facing image is: aw-shucks, finger-in-mouth, breathy speaking, smiley NICE GUY. No one is more aware of this than Schwartz himself. Since Scandoval, that mask is ten times thicker. I don’t doubt the guy has suffered as a result of Sandoval being utterly vile, and I understand that they go back a long way, they’re business partners, and maybe even more importantly, they’re a longstanding duo on VPR. They’re a package deal for the show.

However, I have seen the podcast appearances, this season’s aftershows, and his WWHL appearances, and I’ve just been struck by how frequently Schwartz makes these impromptu comments, always under his breath/quietly, and always followed by a lightning-fast “Kidding!” or “Nah, that was a joke!” or the equivalent. I’m sure he thinks that by qualifying his asides as humor, we won’t pay any attention. But he did the exact same thing to Katie, and in both cases, the remarks that come out of his mouth are super cutting, mean, nasty, and angry.

We can all, as an audience, easily see that Sandoval is a narcissistic douchebag who has made and continues to make the most idiotic missteps. Like, they’re soooo dumb. Ergo, he’s not that bright. I think Schwartz is FAR smarter than Sandoval, and I’m telling you right now: that nice guy is repressing an enormous amount of rage, and I want to see him EXPLODE.

*Bethenny voice*—THAT’S MY OPINIONNNNNN!!!

#VPR #tom schwartz is full of rage #but he can’t show it #so it leaks out in dribs and drabs

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Keith Richards is 80 today 🎉

Thanks for all the music! Keep rocking, sir. I love you very much.

#keith richards #keeeeeeefe #happy birthday

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John Lennon + his iconic orange glasses (1971)

#john lennon #10/9/40-12/8/80 #43 years gone #we miss you #the world misses you #the world needs you

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Bandsplain episodes I have loved like life, many two-parters, multiple hours EACH so like, do the math.

The Cure

Metallica

Radiohead

Smashing Pumpkins

R.E.M.

U2

The Smiths

Third Eye Blind

RHCP

I want to be Yasi Salem’s BFF. It’s such a niche cross-section? I feel very seen!

To Listen: PJ Harvey, Blink-182, and a shit ton of others I can’t recall. My time is 100% spent listening to this podcast. I need to do other things though!!!!

Obsessed

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So my daughter has a friend who worked at Family Business Beer until he (and several of his coworkers) were laid off a couple of weeks ago. This person told her that the place is a dumpster fire, poorly run, and on the verge of bankruptcy. I don’t know what to do with this information. Believe him? Not believe him? I don’t personally know this dude, but my daughter does, and I trust her. ???

The thing is, ALL the people who were laid off could discuss this publicly, so SOMEBODY knows about this besides me/us.

Do they think it won’t get out?

Ugh, Jensen, I love you, and I really hope you get the brewery’s shit together. Maybe that’s why he was there…three?…weekends ago? Unannounced. And he was WORKING.

#i feel like deuxmoi #rumors and allegations

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Barbie & Ken on Venice Beach

#LMFAO #what a scene #also i vaguely remember m having something similar #80’s baby!

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#July 21 2023 #oh what a night

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Greta Gerwig is a goddamned genius.

#greta gerwig #barbie movie #margot robbie was brilliant #ryan gosling was brilliant #script was A+++ #just terrific and i hope it wins awards #AND ACCOLADES

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Long, Long Time, episode 3 of the first season of The Last of Us, has been nominated for Emmys in the following categories:

Best Direction, Drama Series

Best Writing, Drama Series

Outstanding Guest Actor, Drama Series - Murray Bartlett

Outstanding Guest Actor, Drama Series - Nick Offerman

and I’m unbelievably psyched that I predicted all of these within 10 minutes of watching that GORGEOUS episode of television.

#the last of us #long long time #emmys 2023 #nick offerman #murray bartlett #🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

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this ones for you tonight ✨ #pumprules #vanderpumprules #scandoval #bravotv #bravoholic

Credit to Lauren @ RealBarbiesofBravo on TikTok    

#LOVE THIS OMFG

[mightyaphrodytee]

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

The Narcissist’s Prayer, Dayna Craig

#looking at you vanderpump rules cast #feel familiar? #except scheana who is the definition of a good friend

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Tom. It’s “seems” not “seams,” you ignorant slut.

out of all the things that people have said about him, he claps back about his nail polish 😭😭😭😭 textbook narcissist

#Tom Sandoval isn’t very bright

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Lol, that was season 5, but…

Holy shit so much information has poured all over us for the last two months, it’s hard to keep everything straight in your head. I broke my shoulder during Scandoval, I had endless time in bed, in pain, so I did a rewatch (I’m currently mid-season 7, and I’m not committed to seasons 8 or 9). Every episode. Every blowup, every fight, every meltdown, all the drunkenness and drug abuse, all the infidelity and accusations and denials and tears. And I have thoughts. For posterity, darlings.

I’ve learned (and seen with my own eyes—Florida Girl) that BOTH Tom AND Ariana had some kind of pact, and I think they both took it seriously until Tom abandoned it for Rachel, that they would keep their private struggles, whatever they might be, OFF the show and hidden from their castmates and “friends.” I believe with all my heart that nobody on the show or in production really ever questioned it. No one ever leveled an accusation at their relationship. Tom and Ariana were like the closest thing to an audience pov on the show. The DRAAAAMA was Jax, Jax, Jax, Jax, Stassi, Stassi, Stassi, Stassi, fistfights and party crashing and cheating and a breakup…! We were barely shown Tom and Ariana’s conflict over having children, which seemed significant when Tom said it was a dealbreaker, then immediately retracted it when confronted by Ariana. That, plus their difficulties with intimacy and Ariana’s body image issues, was all we knew. They had each other’s back to an insane degree for YEARS, because of this pact, and now the floodgates are open, And we know that when Lala tells Ariana about what really happened at that party the day Ariana’s grandmother dies, Ariana had a meltdown and refused to film with Lala, who had to sit at a table and wait while production talked Ariana down and got consent to film. That’s why she abruptly turns and yells for Tom to come join the Lala info dump, saying I’m not gonna do this, so…let’s get him. And he was absolutely stone cold caught in a lie right then and there.

How could Ariana so easily dismiss the certain knowledge, via Lala, who was there at the party with Sandoval (and Raquel), that TOM LIED TO HER ABOUT NOT FINDING AN UBER SO HE COULD STAY WITH RAQUEL. So, like, I feel like that should’ve been the red flag to end all red flags.

And she definitely had her doubts, no matter how hard she rode for him publicly, because her INTUITION told her to see what she could see when she had the perfect opportunity to look at his phone. The photos app I guess, which is the iOS camera roll. What a shock it must have been. It’s like you’re flying off the edge of the earth, right up into outer space, no tether to humanity because everything is a lie. UGH I RELATE and probably am projecting my shit onto Ariana, which I’m not trying to do fr fr.

Dude, if she had followed me she would have known I wasn’t at Schwartz’s WORST STATEMENT OF THE EPISODE CONGRATS SCUMBAG

But every time you stayed out late or overnight, Ariana checked your location, which was always at the complicit Schwartz’s house

So you left your phone there while you went off to Rachel’s?

Because OBVIOUSLY you’re no fucking stranger to her apartment (!!!)

There is no way in hell I would ever believe that Sandoval wouldn’t run to his work wife, in whom he has confided everything, and confess every detail, with a TON of drama because it’s Sandoval, to expunge his guilty conscience alllllll over Schwartz. Please. He knew everything from the jump, but of course he took no action beyond urging Sandoval to confess. For seven months. He knew. These people are such great liars.

Every line out of Ariana’s mouth, in her confrontation conversation with Tom, was poetry. Eloquent, blunt, sincere, honest, brutal, true. That woman! I admire her dignified reaction in this episode while also side-eyeing her own complicity in not wanting any breaches of the wall of positivity that she helped create. But everyone on this show has their good and their bad, and we’ve seen it all. Ariana’s very first episode! Disaster. She was playing a tough girl character, not herself.

Brittany is the exception to that and has never done anything wrong or shady or hurtful or mean girl-ish.

#Vanderpump Rules #Scandoval #dumpster fire #mostly garbage people