I Don't Want Another Blessing. I'm Undeserving Of The Fortunes That Are Mine. I Don't Need Anything Better Anymore. With Every Attempt, Something Breaks More Inside. I Think It's Killing Me.
IF YOU OBSESS OVER WHETHER YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION, YOU ARE BASICALLY ASSUMING THAT THE UNIVERSE WILL REWARD YOU FOR ONE THING AND PUNISH YOU FOR ANOTHER.
THE UNIVERSE HAS NO FIXED AGENDA. ONCE YOU MAKE ANY DECISION, IT WORKS AROUND THAT DECISION. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG, ONLY A SERIES OF POSSIBILITIES THAT SHIFT WITH EACH THOUGHT, FEELING, AND ACTION THAT YOU EXPERIENCE.
Rebirth Comes Unfinished, Shed Scars, Mistakes And Regrets; Rebirth Turning Into Wildflowers, That Waiting For The Next Stream Of Air To Dissolve In It And Dying Of Anticipation.
Solitude produces originality, bold & astonishing beauty, poetry. But solitude also produces perverseness, the disproportionate, the absurd, and the forbidden.
Thomas Mann, from Death in Venice, trans. Henry Heim (HarperPerennial, 2005, first published in 1912)
THE DESTRUCTIVE CHARACTER KNOWS ONLY ONE WATCHWORD: MAKE ROOM. AND ONLY ONE ACTIVITY: CLEARING AWAY. HIS NEED FOR FRESH AIR AND OPEN SPACE IS STRONGER THAN ANY HATRED. THE DESTRUCTIVE CHARACTER IS YOUNG AND CHEERFUL. FOR DE- STROYING REJUVENATES, BECAUSE IT CLEARS AWAY THE TRACES OF OUR OWN AGE; IT CHEERS, BECAUSE EVERYTHING CLEARED AWAY MEANS TO THE DESTROYER A COMPLETE REDUCTION, INDEED A ROOTING OUT, OF HIS OWN CONDITION. Really, only the insight into how radically the world is simplified when tested for its worthiness for destruction leads to such an Apollonian image of the destroyer. This is the great bond embracing and unifying all that exists. It is a sight that affords the destructive character a spectacle of deepest harmony.