mielcortez

[mielcortez]

Idk how to make friends???

[mielcortez]

Biography (Trigger Warning)

Bella Poarch is a TikToker and an American singer but pure Filipino. Her biological parents are both Filipino and ahe doesn't know her biological parents. She doesn't even remember if she saw them. Back when she was little, her grandmother was the one who takes care of her until she's 3 yrs old and they live in a slum. After, she was adopted. They we're living in the farm and she was there until 14 years old. She was with her Filipino step mother and American stepfather. She have two older sisters and one older brother. Bella is the youngest. Her stepmother and stepfather met in Saudi Arabia and her stepfather was in the Army and decided to retire in the Philippines and live with her stepmother.

Living with them was hard for her because of her abusive American stepfather. (She and her brother was given an unfair treatment compare to their sisters). Also, aaway she and her brother had to wake up early in the morning at 3:00 AM of 4:00 to do chores, especially to clean farm animals' dirt then after the chores. In addition, she has to clean up real good because if she didn't, her step-father would be mad and he won't let Bella eat her breakfast. "You're not eating breakfast if you don't get this done". Her father usually checks their yard and he sees dirt from farm animals, Bella won't just eat but sometimes, her stepfather would just slap her. After, she would prepare to go to school at 6:30 AM.

Growing up when she was little was very tough and hurtful for her. She doesn't only experience physical and verbal abuse but she was also bullied for smelling bad because of farm animals' dirt. Why? Because their father won't let Bella and her brother shower in the morning. He only allows them to shower at night. Her older sisters bully her too that's why her, getting bullied at school got even worse. Bella also said that when she was adopted, everything was fine actually not until she turned seven years old and farm animals were now in their land. Bella thinks that they were just waiting for that moment to happen: buy a land, plant tress and have farm animals. Waiting for that moment for them to be like that. She also thinks that the reason why her father was like that abusive to her and her brother was just to put his anger towards them both.

When she turned 14, her stepfather had to come in Texas for his surgery. Unfortunately, he can't go back in the Philippines because his doctor said, there's no one to take good care of him when complications happen. And of course for Bella, that was a luck for her because whe were now able to do things or enjoy things she can't do back when her father was still with them. So because of their father's condition, Bella Poarch and her older brother was sent to United States. Only her and the older brother because their older sisters were old enough to be there. In addition, the stepfather has to take Bella and the brother for the reason that the two were adopted and he's legally responsible for them. So when they were sent to United States, both lived with their aunt (her mom's cousin) in San Francisco with their step parents. Fortunately, the two weren't having the treatment as to what they have back in the Philippines because their aunt is with them and the stepfather can't just do bad things.

On her 16, she graduated there in her senior days and she said she like school because she was away from their home. Away from their father but she wasn't allowed to hang out woth her friends after school. She never experienced hang outs with anybody. Only the time when Bella and her brother were looking for jobs. Bella said "I never had a childhood. Basically". Thanks to her manager when she got a job, Bella were taken to different places and had the chance to experience new things. On college, Bella Poarch actually chose to join the military as her escape. To bave her freedom at least. For her stepparents, it was actually fine. Her stepfather didn't even say goodbye to him. Her was father only said "Don't ever comeback here. This is not your home". She signed a four year contract with the Navy, she was one of the musical division and they're in choir so she has to sing they are going to perform in bootcamp graduation. In the bootcamp, there are no gadgets or stuffs. They basically cannot do everything except training and after that, they can leave and meet their family. But after all, she said she was happy because Navy thought her a lot of things.

The reason why Bella Poarch became famous was because of TikTok. She started using TikTok on January 2020 because her friends always send video links to her from TikTok and Bella doesn't have the app to go directly on TikTok therefore she was taken to the website always and her friends was forcing her to just download the app and she was like "Okay. Let me download it" and when she did, she was just watching videos and got addicted to it. Last year, there was a trend on TikTok and she decided to hop on the trend then it went viral. The first video she made on TikTok was her, singing and it got hundred views she taken down the video because she was shy. There was also another video she made that went viral (got a million views) but she taken it down as well because half of the comments are so negative and she said she took it personally then she realized that she shouldn't be affected by those negative people and what she likes to do. She also dreams to be an artist that is why she published her first ever song on YouTube, titled "Build a B*tch". People who hated her on TikTok, loved her on YouTube. After, she got more active or focused on music, singing and she published another song, music video of her, titled "Inferno".

The reason why I chose Bella Poarch for my biography is because I love emotional stories of people because I want to understand them and I understand Bella Poarch's feelings and her being bullied is relatable for me. I also had physical abuse traumas in my childhood that is why I understand her struggle, feelings, her story, and her success.

References:

#Youtube

[mielcortez]

Memoir

"Cricetinae"

Have you ever experienced losing a pet and it was your fault why that happened? If so, how were you able to accept it? Between guilt and acceptance, we always choose acceptance but we always ask how do we accept as well. Year 2020, I bought a hamster and took good care of it. I named him Mochi. He has been with me ever since he’s a baby and he grew up here, still with me. He’s so kind, he can't even bite people he doesn’t know. He’s very sweet as well. He loves playing with people and he loves my kisses. And of course, as he grow up, he gets bigger so I have to provide much bigger shelter for him and because I love him so much, I create a new shelter (DIY) but the walls aren’t high enough to secure him. December 14, 2020 came. It was an unforgettable yet painful day for me. That morning, I gave him food and new water as well. He was so happy that I was there again and we will play. After all, we took a small break. I went downstairs to prepare my breakfast. I had a bad feeling he’ll escape. I immediately ran upstairs to our 3rd floor. I walked towards the cage, I was panting. Nervous and overthinking. First glance, he wasn’t there. I checked the whole cage again but it’s too late. He already escaped and fell from our third floor because there are tubes for the water to go down beside our house. Sadly, he went there and fell. It was my fault. He was just a hamster of course. I felt so guilty I don’t even know when and how to accept his loss.

[mielcortez]

Autobiography

I, Faith Arwen Cortez, known as Nam or Arwen. I like editing videos and pictures but the most important thing is I like being alone. I hate crowded places and talking to people I am not interested in talking to. I was born on June 21, 2005 in San Mateo, Rizal and it was my dad, George Edward Cortez and my mom, Mary Ann Eroma Cui who took care of me but when I turned 3 yrs old, Caloocan City became my hometown because my mother needs to work abroad and of course, I am from a broken family therefore, my grandmother, Corazon Eroma Cui has to take care of me so basically, I grew up here in Bagong Silang, Caloocan City and I am living here until now.

When I turned five years old, I started kindergarten. There is nothing interesting in my kinder days honestly because I always skip classes just to watch the cartoon, Oggy and the Cockroaches and I spend time playing with my friends outside the house. Fast forward, When I turned 6 years old, I was in grade 1, year 2011 to 2012. I studied at Holy Rosary College Foundation and this school year is when I cried the most. This is when I figured out I am soft-hearted and sensitive person. I always cry over small things and my classmates were always mean to me. But I was still happy because I was good for not fighting back. Yes, I am weak. That year is also a happy one because my dad visited me. He was working abroad and he comes back to the Philippines once in a blue moon so the day when he visited me is a memorable one. Before the school year ended, I was taken back to San Mateo for vacation and I was hospitalized for having Dengue and that is the time when my mom went back here from Dubai. The family of my father’s side and my mom’s side had conflict because of it. Actually, both had conflicts ever since I became a broken family but as time went by, many personal problems happened so the wound got worse and that event (when I was hospitalized) was the last argument. We all cut our connections with them and kept me in my grandmother’s hands.

Jumping to grade 2 to 4, I transferred school to San Jose Academy of Bulacan and I have nothing to tell about this era as well. Nothing but I was just lazy in school. I was not interested in my academics before because of the people around me. Now skip to my grade 5 days, I transferred back to Holy Rosary College foundation and here, I got kind of lazy again because again, people hate me. People always hate me for being too jolly. Well I can’t do anything about it because that is my way for people to like me. I was always cast out. I want to be inside of their circle of friends. I hate being left out before. I need friends. But because of that, I have a classmate who got insecure about me. She was afraid that her friends will become my friends and after, she was the one who’s gonna be left out so what she did was be mean to me. She always hurt my feelings by taking everyone away from me. She was making arguments that would make people hate me as well. By that, I became an attention seeker and that was the reason why people hated me more. They were irritated because I always wanted to be noticed by everyone. I want to be the star because that girl took everyone away from me.

Year 2016 to 2017, I turned grade 6. Same school, same classmates. Same personality. I am still an attention seeker but it got worse. I also became much hyper that’s why people make fun of me. They call me “palo” the famous slang term wayback 2016 to 2017. This school year honestly gave me the heaviest problems in life. I had my traumas, trust issues. I was bullied and people abused me for being too kind. Of course I was kind because I was weak. I wasn’t able to fight for myself. To achieve justice. That is why I see people as my enemy. They are the villains in my story. I hate people. I hate everyone. Since I was in a dark and miserable past, I had things I liked to cope with my severe sadness. This is when I started liking anime and I developed my skills in drawing. I started with traditional drawing. After all the pain my classmates gave me and after all the tears my eyes vent, I still managed to graduate elementary when honestly I was supposed to ignore school because of my condition. Being mentally damaged. Still, people who aren't nice and bring you down will never be successful in burying you in hell. I am too strong for fighting the shadows that awaits me.

Year 2017 to 2018, I turned grade 7. I was now in junior highschool. This is where life became much challenging for me. But the best part was I excel in academics. I’ve managed to be in top 5 in our class and in the 2nd quarter, I’ve managed to hop up to the top 3. Just imagine my excellency. In my highschool life, that was the most worth sharing. I was still bullied but I don’t mind the bullies since I met new friends older than me in school who have the same interests as me. We always hang out if we were given a chance but I have to be sneaky since my grandmother is a strict one. She doesn’t want me to hang out with my friends since they’re all guys and she believes that I have to be friends with someone who's age is the same as my age. Yet she doesn’t understand that they are my bullies so how can I be friends with them? Therefore, I really have to be sneaky. I wasn’t allowed to create a facebook account that time so I use my grandfather’s account to communicate with them through our group chat and it’s very hard since I don’t have privacy so I ended up enduring all those. When I turn grade 8, I had new friends and they’re girls. They’re very passionate about everything they want to try or do. We write stories at Wattpad before. We love writing. We’re always together and laughing every hour. I was still bullied in my grade 8 days and it still hurts but as long as I have them, I have nothing to worry about. As long as I am happy. I made them happy. We are happy. I am fine.

When I turned grade 9, I transferred to a new school. I studied at Manuel Luis Quezon High School. Still, I was bullied because they didn’t like my personality. My personality in my previous school is till in me and it was hard to adjust in a new environment so I didn’t get along with them smoothly. I ended up causing problems to the whole section so majority hated me but some understands me. It was a tough school year again. I became suicidal to the point that I don’t come to school anymore. It happened for almost one week and people started to worry about me so I decided to show up again. Good thing I still managed to be an honor student at the end of the quarter. Before the school year ends, my heart decided to open a door to a guy who’s really dedicated to me. I call him my “manliligaw”. We became a couple on January 7, 2020. We were together for 1 year but when 2021 arrived, the fire was gone. We broke up for having a very toxic relationship. I was wrong as well but I am grateful for the lessons I learned. This is when I realized I am too young for this kind of thing. I have a lot to know, to learn about myself. About life. I need to focus on myself for now.

2021 started, I was in grade 10 and studying online class but I wasn’t able to catch up in 2nd quarter. Because of everything that happened to me ever since I was in grade 5, add that break up too, I became tired in life. That break up affected me that seriously. I isolated myself in my room. I never do my activities. I was just talking with my internet friends on the Discord app. We always do voice calls and we always message each other. I had fun. It feels like after everything I’ve been through, I deserve a rest to fix myself that people ruin. In exchange for that happiness, I became unhealthy. I always sleep late. I never eat on time. I never do my skincare. In short, I never take care of myself anymore. I became irresponsible. I ruined myself more. I let my emotions control me. I let myself suffer more. I never thought of helping myself to be better. I wasn’t strong enough. After all, I still manage to do better. I forced myself to do better just to finish junior highschool. As a fruitful reward, I became an honor student.

I felt so tired the whole year (2021). When the school year 2020-2021 ended, I thought of not continuing my senior highschool grade 11 because I really feel tired. Pretty exhausted. I told my grandmother, “Lola, ayoko muna mag grade 11”. They talked to me about it but I took it like they’re against me so I threw tantrums. I became bad. I made them cry. I turn into a disappointment for them. What a shame. I took a long rest for everything. It’s like I paused for a moment and thought about everything. I decided to continue school to not waste the opportunity that my mother gave me to study. I chose New Era University. I waited for the enrollment to start. We worked hard to process the enrollment and when school started, I was very nervous for the 1 month of the first quarter. Nevertheless, I always try to finish everything. I always try and try and now, my parents are proud of me. They are always proud of me. Big or small things, everything I do is appreciated. Everything was worth it.

I remember when my grandmother trusted me after all the disappointments I showed. “Anak, hindi pa huli ang lahat”. I am still young. I am a growing person. I am still learning. She knows it. All my life, I never thought of her, trusting me because she always makes me feel that way. But I just turned a blind eye. She trusted me. We both trust the process. She’s the best mom/grandmother. I also wanted to add, suicide is not a solution. Leaving cuts on your skin won't solve your problems. Think of it as making your problems worse. We are not late to rise up again. We have a mission and achievements in our life. If we die, we won't be able to feel the happiness we’re looking for. We won’t be able to see the rainbow after the storm.