merv-procrastinates

[merv-procrastinates]

I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions. Yes it feels like pandering, yes it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story, yes the dialogue almost always rings false - but beyond all that I think it does such a disservice to the women who lived during those periods. I'm not embarrassed of the women in history who didn't use every chance they had to Stick It To The Man. I'm not ashamed of women who were resigned to or enjoyed their lot in life. They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.

[merv-procrastinates]

Trauma didn't make me nice, I consciously made me nice because I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did. Trauma didn't make me strong, I made me strong. Don't you dare ever tell me my trauma made me anything but scared, broken, and confused. Don't give credit to the abusers for me being a good person. They didn't make me good, I made myself good.

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fucking goldfish tiktok made me cry bro

#��😭😭 #i want fish again now

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I just saw a man sitting on the foot path with 4 perfect even spaced pigeons all sitting in the same pose like they were together like this

[merv-procrastinates]

by Holly Warburton

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Uni.

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sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

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Another flower loop

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btw mutuals i love you all i am beaming friendship rays at you with my mind

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please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

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how much fun are we having in this timeline folks?

[merv-procrastinates]

it’s strangely comforting coming back to tumblr after i’d been away for so long. so much has happened in my life, so much has changed, but i get to come on here and engage in the community from my past.

i’m 24 now, graduated from college and have a plethora of life experiences that I wish I didn’t at times. I went through a lot in the last 2 years, from losing my mom to finally leaving a relationship that had sucked the life out of me, i feel so much older and wiser for it.

i’ve had the privilege of traveling and getting to nourish friendships as a young adult. i know myself a lot better than i did before. i get to work on my hobbies and be unapologetic about them. i don’t have nearly the same amount of self hatred i did in high school.

of course mutuals have changed and some blogs I don’t recognize anymore. but i love that it’s still here and a sort of portal to the past, which i so desperately long for sometimes. this isn’t meant to be sad or pitiful, i’m doing a lot to get my life in a place where i want it.

i wish i could tell the version of me that hurt so much when i was younger that it gets better. it really fucking does. even though i’ve felt as if i’ve been at my rock bottom the past two years, i have never felt more sure of myself and of my choices. i am proud of myself. i’ve done a lot of work on myself, and the fruits of my labor have been showing. i wish i could tell the 14 year old me that you won’t always be that angry, even when you have every right to be. that there will be ever present sadness, but it ebbs and flows.

this is so vulnerable and honest but i’ve made an effort to be that way with the people in my life because i see no point in hiding my truth. i used to think softness was weakness but it has taken great strength to tell others when i need support and when they do something that hurts me. or when i do something that hurts someone else, learning to better handle that has been worth every effort.

life can be so difficult and frustrating and heartbreaking. but it has also been gentle and sweet and lovely.

#my updates #i’m back #yell into the void

[merv-procrastinates]

[merv-procrastinates]

honestly we as a culture need to approach things with less "boohoo this female celebrity has suffered a misfortune, she can go cry about it in her mansion" and more "if someone can get away with doing this to her, then none of us are safe"