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Highlight of PowerPoint night

#I was very drunk and I did cry at least twice #legendborn #legendborn cycle #selwyn kane #bloodmarked

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i think the moment in seige and storm when baghra asks alina “is the world so very fine that you think it worth saving?” might be one of my top five moments in the series, because it asks a question that’s so often taken for granted in the fantasy, scifi, and superhero genres.

rather than framing alina’s quest as a journey to restore the world to its pre-existing normalcy, with the implicit assumption that this normalcy is the most desirable outcome, the question lets us wonder if a world in which suffering and subjugation are so embedded into its fabric isn’t a lost cause.

how long has baghra been subjected to hatred and distrust from otkazat’sya, and greed and jealousy from other grisha, for her unique powers? how many wars has she seen? how many massacres? how long has she watched ravkan nobility ignore the poverty of the masses? her son is over four hundred years old. she has had half a century to watch a little boy who just wanted to stay in one place for a season and play with other children turn into someone she believes is an irredeemable monster.

but she does not believe in his mission, largely because his high-minded belief that the world can be put to rights has no basis in her reality. what has his fight done for him yet? sure, the second army is a blessing for the grisha - but if the best that can be imagined for her kind is to be conscripted as children to labour for the powers that oppress grisha and non-grisha alike, it’s a mixed one. being considered useful is hardly the same as being valued or respected.

i wonder, as she taught young grisha to harness their powers, if she ever wondered whether any of it was worthwhile. if she watched the successions of generations of grisha live and die as she and her son stayed the same and wished they could be like them. if she thought that maybe giving her son a life like hers, long and lonely, was a mistake. lb never seems to consider this, but it must have crossed her mind at some point.

then along comes alina, the mythical sun-summoner with the power needed to conquer the fold and, just maybe, bring respect to the grisha. principled, hard-working, and determined she may be, but also a child, naive and hopeful and completely unprepared for what’s coming for her. and baghra doesn’t tell her to fight; she tells her to run. she doesn’t hold out the hope her son has in a brave new world, no matter how promising this girl might appear to be. the best thing for her is simply to disappear.

but then bardugo does no justice to this idea by having the death of the darkling be the supposed solution while the world that created him barely changes. he’s only a symptom of this broken world, but the brokenness in him is treated as evil. what might have happened if alina had been broken in the same way and we’d been forced to asks the same question baghra does?

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i have missed them ❤️️⚔️💙

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its too real. if your mind is beautiful enough and your posts are potent enough it's anathema to widespread appeal. and thats the way it should be.

#me to be honest

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Why Nikolai fails as a leader

I made a post about why I cannot accept Alina as a protagonist here. I wanted to continue the trend and do the same with the other members of the Righteous Gang. I will start with Nikolai this time.

This is a long read so, brace yourselves.

Nikolai Lanstov is a character I enjoyed reading very much and he is the only member of the Righteous Gang that I find likeable. He is shown as an inventor, visionary, a lawless pirate and a prince who threw away his cushy life to support his country. LB proposes him as an alternative- the 'good' leader opposed to the 'evil' Darkling. However, as the story progresses, we cannot help but see several parallels between them. Both are clever, have a thirst for power(not for themselves), are patriotic and posses an opportunistic nature.

So what differentiates our 'Good' King from the Dark Lord? The short answer is LB and her plot armour.

In other words, the 'goodness' in Nikolai that is supposed to make him better than the Darkling is never put under trial. Even though, Nikolai as a character has enough traits in him to make him swing easily towards the 'evil side', LB restricts his character to his goodness and devices a plot armour in such way that his morals and ideals are rarely threatened.

Let me point out a few key instances where LB restricts Nikolai's character growth to keep up his clean image:

Nikolai's bid for the throne: Ever since Sturmhond's true identity as Nikolai is revealed, we are shown of his ambition to take over the throne of Ravka. We also see the ground work he had laid since his days as a soldier in the First Army but his plans just stops there. After re-entering Ravka, his only plan is to solely rely on Alina(a fickle person at best) accepting his hand in marriage, kickstarting his campaign for the throne. With the Darkling on the run and the country in shambles, we see no tangible efforts from him even when the situation calls for it He neither strong arms Vasily(or the King) nor does he march in and seize the throne. He does nothing but attend meetings and act as an underling to Vasily. For someone who loves Ravka enough to give up his princehood and live his days as a pirate in the sea, we don't see him doing much to aid the said country when it is in literal chaos.

So how does Nikolai secure the throne?

Answer: The Darkling does it for him.

LB had already established Nikolai as a morally grey character. So why didn't she let Nikolai blackmail his father or brother to position himself in the throne? The country is in shambles and the entire population is looking for a miracle. Marching in with the Sun Summoner, his First Army supporters and seizing the throne is obviously the correct step here and yet we don't see Nikolai doing that or rather LB doesn't let him do that because if she did, then how can she differentiate her hero from the villain?

Nikolai's when faced with the truth about his parents: For once, we are given an excellent opportunity to see how good and righteous Nikolai is. He learns the truth about his dear father, aka the rapist King. He also learns how his mother had been turning a blind eye to his crimes for years. And he, their only remaining son, is placed is in a position to dole out judgement for their crimes.

How does Nikolai punish his family?

Answer: He doesn't.

He shamelessly uses the opportunity to establish himself as the King and sends his parents on a nice, luxury retirement to the colonies. So where did his sense of justice go? How is he the 'good' King when his first instinct is to pardon his kin and not hold them accountable? Isn't that what self-righteous, non-Darklings supposed to do? And the way LB later twists this on the Darkling is laughable. Nikolai literally denies Genya her justice and yet the Darkling is blamed for it. Instead of Nikolai shouldering the responsibility for his actions(by extension his family's), the entire fault is solely placed on the Darkling. What is one more evil deed to his list of crimes, eh Miss LB?

Nikolai on Mal's insubordination. Why does he allow Mal(much later we see it with Zoya too), a literal nobody, to talk and treat him the way he does? He was well within his rights as a prince to demand Mal's blood and yet time and time again he lets Mal walk scot-free? Why? Because he is different? Because he wants Alina to see him in a positive light? To present himself as a better prospect? Because he is a good person at heart that doesn't want to force Alina into something and 'win' her over? So kissing Alina without her consent, in a public event no less, was an act of chivalry?

Answer: Because if he acted, it would make him look as 'bad' as the Darkling. The Darkling would have never accepted insubordination from anyone let alone a nobody tracker from the First Army. He demands respect as any good leader should. Punishment for insubordination is not as 'evil' act as LB perceives it to be. It has been existing since the dawn of time and it exists even in today's modern society. You cannot mouth off figures of authority without consequences. And yet LB cannot have that because Nikolai is not the Darkling. He is different, he is 'good'.

*****

Throughout the trilogy and duology, through several mouth-pieces, LB keeps telling us how much of a good person Nikolai is and yet when presented with an actual moral dilemma, she does not allow him to make a decision that would sully his 'goodness'. So how can we, as readers, call him 'good' when he is never presented with a trolley problem?

LB keeps shooting Nikolai in the knee to keep him from growing. Because if he did, then we would see how he was no different from the Darkling. The 'evilness' of the Darkling stems from the fact that he had to make hard choices since the day he was born. He had taken up an cause that no one before him did and so being 'good' was never an option for him because the only choices he had were preserving his soul or preserving his community. And he chose the latter and this is where Nikolai fails as a leader. Nikolai never had to make a choice of sacrificing a few for the goodness of many. LB swathes him in plot armour after plot armour that by the end of the duology he is almost as virtuous as Virgin Mary.

It's a shame that LB's views of the world are restricted to black and white. Had she understood the nuances of morality, she would not have maimed one of her strong characters.

A good King shows strength, courage and fights for his country. He commands respect from his subordinates and strives to improve the lives of his subjects. A good leader does not hesitate to use any tools at his disposal to get results he needs- diplomacy, violence, threats, warfare etc. A good leader will always puts his people first before his morals and more importantly does not give up his crown to Daenerys Targaryen knock-offs. By making Nikolai's character cling to his cloak of morality, LB makes him look like a people-pleasing child rather than a formidable leader he has the potential to be.

In conclusion, as much as I like Nikolai as a character, I would say Uther Pendragon made a better King to Camelot than Nikolai did to Ravka.

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Why I cannot accept Alina Starkov as a protagonist

I have a love-hate relationship with Alina's character. Mostly hate though. I loved the few bright moments she had but I absolutely loathed the moments where she was came off as an utterly selfish, unsympatheic, sanctimonious brat which dried up the any pity I had for her.

When I think of Alina, the analogy that comes to my mind is elephants. When elephants are tamed their handlers use an interesting strategy. The handlers use the heaviest iron chains that are too strong for the young calves to break away to tether them. The young calves try as they might to break free, soon realise that the chains are stronger than them and give up. They slowly start to live within the limits of the chain. However as the elephants reach adulthood, the trainers switch to normal, lightweight chains to tie them up because, by now the elephants have been fully trained to believe that they are too weak to breakaway. So the elephants rarely ever attempt to test the strength of the chains or even attempt to escape. The elephants having forgotten the strength they posses, learn to live within the limits of the chains.

Alina is just like those elephants. She has the power of the Sun coursing through her veins and yet instead of raising up to the situation, she actively chooses to remain stagnant. She remains tethered with her one-sided affection for Mal, her crippling self esteem issues, her shame of having 'impure thoughts' and, her fear of becoming something more than she had imagined. Eventhough the chains does not help her realise her true potential or even give her room to breathe, she is unable to comprehend anything beyond it and remain fearful to breakfree.

Had she been a side character, then, all of these flaws would not have mattered. But she is the protagonist and the entire triology moves forward through her. I'm not belittling her fears but the problem with the Chosen One trope is that at one point, the Chosen One is supposed to break away from their shackles and overcome these fears as the story progresses. Because, the story is not about the Chosen One, it is about the cause they are representing. But with Alina we never see that growth and so the cause she represents remains unfulfiled. Rather than becoming the one moving the story forward, she becomes an elephant in the hands of her handlers- Nikolai, Mal, Zoya, Apparat etc. She goes where they direct her to.

We see her passiveness cause actual detriment to the story as she is directed to side with the 'good guys' instead of representing the suppressed people who sees her as a beacon of hope. And in the end her life or death did not impact the cause she represented.

People may say that she suceeded in killing the Darkling and took down the Fold. But neither was her true purpose. She was supposed to be the one who bridged the gap between the otkazats'ya and the Grisha. And so, her victory in the final battle does not satisfy the end goal as the person she killed also wanted the same.

By defeating the Darkling, she no longer becomes the Chosen One. Instead she becomes an instrument of the oppressor who actively wants to maintain the status of the monarchy which in turn thrived on the Grisha serfdom. From a passive protagonist she becomes a passive antagonist. And in the end of it all she serves no purpose to herself or the people she was supposed to uplift and goes back to her chained elephant life with Mal as her new handler.

And this is why I could never accept Alina as the protagonist.

#good post op #going to use this in future arguments lmao

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Selwyn "no one needs as much therapy as I do" Kane

"You called me a monster once." "Maybe you were right. It looks like I can from one."

~ Legendborn, page 363

"An unreadable expression crossed Sel's face. An emotion that could become words if given the chance, but he presses his lips into a line, burying it. "I should go""

~ Bloodmarked, page 57

"Sel's standards for his own behaviour are terribly high, it's true-and they come at a terrible cost. I can't help but think of Sel's self-recrimination. His acceptance of Erebus's charges of negligence."

~ Bloodmarked, page 208

"Only a monster could look at you and want to destroy you, Bree."

~ Bloodmarked, page 368

"I turn back to see him standing there, the fallen angel I know, more demon than ever. Not from how he appears, but by what he's done."

~ Bloodmarked, page 370

""Yes you are!" The muscles work in his jaw. His eyes shine-he blinks it away. "You are. You just have to hold on a little longer, Bree. For me-""

~ Bloodmarked, page 405

"Then, it clicks: Sel didn't caution Nick about trusting him to protect me. He cautioned Nick about trusting him with me. Because Sel doesn't trust himself with me, either."

~ Bloodmarked, page 464

"There. You understand now. You can see how, for any merlin-even a weak one-raised as a human among humans, the greatest punishment would be to cast us out of the order's service. Force us to witness our own regression. To strip a merlin powerful enough to earn the title of kingsmags of that same title would mean taking them away from their charge. Cutting them off from the immense connective power of that Oath. It's a penalty so severe that it's never been done before"

~ Legendborn, page 342

#ow

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Kaz at the most minor slight

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I also think you can tell from the Nick/Sel bonus chapter in his perspective that he learned really early on that affectionate touches weren’t something he as a Merlin and Kingsmage ever had a right or opportunity to have.

He saw kids high fiving and hanging out and wondered if he’d get that with Nick, only to be told immediately by Isaac that his purpose is not to make friends. That immediately sets in that he is a weapon and not a person meant to have or be deserving of any sort of affection at all, let alone touch.

That’s why the moment after he and Bree kiss and they’re walking away bumping into each other means so much. Because he’s finally realizing he deserves it.

I had this Legendborn/Bloodmarked thought that upset me and I’d like to share

Been thinking about Sel admiring, yet quietly being jealous of the casual affection and quiet love people show each other in small gestures. He’d see it from afar. How couples/people who loved each other would entwine or press arms together in physical contact, smoothing back their friend’s hair as it blows in the wind, sharing warmth huddled in the cold together and wiping a crumb off their partner’s face after a meal. But then Sel would catch himself staring and look away quickly, thinking to himself how it must be to share such casual affection. The lack of words but the reassurance that somebody cared, all within those small actions.

And Sel never had nor shared nor been given those small acts of physical love. His touch was always taught to be in acts of casual violence, in the threat of what he could do with the power coiled up inside him. And from such a young age too, he grew to understand his own touch as something to be given out of punishment or rage.

And seeing Bree he’d wistfully think of the casual affection he wanted to show her. He wanted to wrap a coil of her hair around his finger just to examine it in the afternoon light, warm her cold hands with his breathe, cradle her face and hold her tightly just because he could. And he’d catch himself physically clenching his fist, restraining himself from reaching for her at times.

Sel was seeing himself for the first time in so long, not as an instrument of magic and power in a centuries-old conflict of legend, but simply a boy made to hold the girl he loves.

TLDR: Sel’s love language truly is physical touch

#SEL❤️ #legendborn cycle #legendborn #legendborn spoilers #bloodmarked #selwyn kane #bloodmarked spoilers #Selwyn

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there really are few emotions i find more compelling in a story than "you should be afraid of me. please don't be afraid of me"

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Disclaimer: Tor is ✨racist✨. She is explicitly racist to Bree, especially at the end of LegendBorn. It is not her being a mean girl. She does not secretly like Bree. SHE. IS. RACIST. There have been a lot of bad takes about this book and it’s characters. If you don’t understand something ask questions.

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love a character that's like. i survived (<- not a brag) (<- this is a curse that weighs on me every waking hour)

#kaz brekker #tbh

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idc all modern darklina aus should end with aleksander committing domestic terrorism and overthrowing the government thats just realistic

#it’s just realistic!

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Can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this before but I have big big feelings about women and mothers within the Legendborn cycle.

Every woman that The Order touches is hit by some sort of tragedy. It’s part of the point. They’re not Supposed to be there, let alone in power.

“Nick’s mother, Sel’s, mine. How many mothers has the Order taken?”

Even Cestra as a Regent is outnumbered as one out of three. If you count the Seneschals it’s one out of 6. She is the token woman in a historically male power system. So historically male that any woman that rose to power in the earlier ages was killed.

The Order of the Rose exists to let women still pretend they have a hand in anything. But even then, they’re there to support chapter events rather than actually have a piece of anything worth something.

All of the trio’s mothers interfered, and they all paid for it. You can say this is just what The Order does to people who threaten their system, but even if you look at Martin - I genuinely think some action would have been taken against him for letting someone take his child without him noticing, if he were the mother.

I seriously doubt the council of regents actually believed Natasia opened the gates. She was absolutely just an easy scapegoat to cover up the actions of the scion of Arthur as a woman and a Merlin. Can’t even get into the way that The Order treats Merlins right now.

This is really long but. I hope the women of the Legendborn series all have some part in tearing shit down. They deserve it

#legendborn #legendborn cycle #bloodmarked #bloodmarked spoilers #legendborn spoilers #bree matthews #briana matthews #natasia kane #Anna rheon

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Thinking abt 19 (probably) years old Natasia Kane getting blamed for opening gates on campus when it was Martin Davis who opened them. Thinking abt 18 years old Selwyn Kane getting blamed for opening gates on campus when in reality it was Martin Davis who opened them. Think about how Selwyn Kane is Natasia Kane's son. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

#THINKING ABOUT THEIR PARALLELS ALWAYS

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have i seen her present day or really at all… no. is she the most perfect woman to ever have been written… absolutely yes

natasia kane is my roman empire, the amount that I think about this character that I've barely even met is crazy. I've concocted her entire back story in my head, multiple versions of it.

#genuinely I do fear that we’ll meet her and she’s like… not a nice person #but I’m actually so delusional that I don’t think that can happen 😭 #pls send me your Natasia thoughts I beg