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My fingers traced the tattoo on his back, a compass in between his shoulder blades, not thinking about anything except the present moment and how all I wanted was to get closer. North… then east… south… then west. I wasn’t thinking about how it was my last night in Rio, I wasn’t thinking about how crazy it was that I would get on a plane the next day and say goodbye to the people and the city that have so touched me. I would later come to know the heart wrenching, stomach churning, lung collapsing feeling that what I experienced would remain in the past while I moved forward in time. All the laughs, the inside jokes, the beautiful mountains, the beaches, the late late nights, coming home at 6 AM to our sunrise, the long talks, the hysterical laughs at breakfast, bonding in the back seats of buses– the beauty of the city punctuated by the people I was with. And now, time was up. Planes were set for take-off. Goodbyes were in order. And I wanted to do everything in my power to stop time from moving, but this is the untouchable nature of memories. I am left with the only thing I can do – remember.

And all I knew in that moment was the way he looked at me, sitting in the quiet kitchen while the rest of the world was sleeping, after a blurry night with one too many drinks, letting me live where the present overwhelmed me.

I didn’t want the morning to come, but in that moment, there was no morning. There was only that moment.

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If I ever let you down, it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because I don’t love myself.

William Chapman (via wordsnquotes)

#hmmm

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// P R O M O T I O N A L P H O T O S // L O V E

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This is important, portrayed in a humorous way but very important to understand.

Pulled over by the police

#whatisprivilege

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What is happiness?

-- Written by yours truly, at 14 years old

In the very beginning, man did not exist. There was but an ethereal revolution of the planets in harmony with gravity, stars, and luminous dwellings of the sky.  With every sweep and spin, time passed and peace existed. It was then that man was created, placed into the perfect quintessence called Earth. Nothing—absolutely nothing—was corrupt, sinful, and filthy. Everything was pure. Untouched. Perfect. Man was spun out of the dust of the earth, created in the image of the Creator, designed to live.  Man is created from the same dust that makes up the foundation of this untouched earth.  He lives, breathes, enjoys, and encapsulates himself with a direct relationship to his planet. A planet that is his own to lie in the grass, to feel the warm touch of the sun, to sleep directly under the watch of the stars. It was then that Eve was created. Woman was spun from the ribs of man—connected within, prescribed to be similar yet vastly different. And then there was man and woman—the composition of human race. And then there was a small bud of humanity living on this earth, this planet, this home. What is the purpose of life? To Adam and to Eve, the purpose of life is to live in harmony with Earth. The purpose of their life was to enjoy the direct access between sun and stars and sky. To thrive from bliss and perfection in the very fruits, leaves, and ground.

From the very beginning to the twenty-first century, what is the purpose of life? Each person has his own definition, understanding, and adaptation to their purpose of life in the year 2010 A.D. To the students of the United States of America, the purpose of life in the twenty first century has shifted. The purpose of our lives is to receive an education, to expand the meaning of knowledge, and to dive into the depths of the history of humanity, the science of earth and life processes, and the chemical mathematical composition of what we know today. The purpose of life is to use this knowledge to somehow improve the societal world, to have a role in the pursuit of a career or find a source of income to survive in our world. It is incomprehensible how different everything is now. We lack a direct-access relationship between our planet, which is now an obligation rather than a home. Depleting the world’s resources and every one of the advancements into science, medicine, technology, and knowledge leads to faster development of things that Shouldn’t Be Here. Why was the world created? To give man a home of pure bliss, where emotions are pure and where everything is provided for.  The one faulty error that caused the sharp downfall of humanity was the mindset of “what we have is not enough”.

Above all, that is where happiness evades us and is unreachable to so many of us today. The main causes of dissatisfaction, disappointment, and unhappiness root from relationship problems, financial stress, family problems, arguments, or tragedies. Since the beginning, everything has developed by a dizzying rate. The first wheel became the first nuclear weapon. Everything has piled on and become a giant heap of debris that we did not need in this world. We would not have known this technology-infested life if we never had it. Where did stealing, lying, cheating, and deceit come from? If we had all lived in harmony and true peace with the earth, these actions and emotions would never have existed. Think about the Garden of Eden, where the first humans lived. Everything they needed—trees, air, food, beauty—it was all around them. They had to do no work and it was paradise. Now, complications and emotions grow in our minds until we become deceitful while being exempt to steal, cheat, and lie. In the very beginning of creation and of our existence, these actions would have never crossed our minds. As a result of the modern world, new emotions evolved and we have an explosion and abundance of negative emotions. Pain, hate, greed, jealousy, sorrow, and regret are few in the many. How did America’s economy come to this state? Why is the gaining of money so important to us? Why do we steal? Why do we cheat to attain what is best for us? Why have there been so many wars in history? Why did so many suffer and die? The emotions of jealousy, greed, thirst for power, and dishonesty have enveloped our once pure society and have choked it of its sincerity. The definition of happiness is what came before this.

The most important thing to remember today is that we can never go back to that innocence. We can never go back to living in true harmony with our planet. We can never go back to pure paradise and bliss, where almost everything we have today did not exist. It is impossible. In today’s world, “the age of anxiety is winning over the pursuit of happiness.” Humanity went from pure bliss and touchable happiness to dissatisfaction and the development of a vast variation of new objects, ideas, and emotions. The definition of happiness today, as Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert states, is “achieving a general sense of satisfaction with life and a sense of well being.” Working through these negative emotions and rising up to overcome, surmount, and defeat negativity brings us toward finding our own meaning of happiness.

Our world in the beginning of time was perfect in shape, balance, color, and composition. After man has taken upon his saw and manipulated the earth to his desire, the earth is no longer an Uncarved Sphere. Finding happiness for humanity in today’s world means becoming an Uncarved Block. As Benjamin Hoff illustrates from The Tao of Pooh, happiness means to concentrate on simplicity. Lose the arrogance, disregard the complexity, and shorten the convolutions. Happiness means forgetting it all, and living in simplicity and innocence. The nature of the Uncarved Block is unexplainable; the nature of it is that it just is.  As Judy Dutton puts it, finding your joy means “simply being aware of what is happening right now, without wishing it were different.”

Finding happiness will not be so difficult, once you know what happiness is. Happiness is striving to reach the simplicity in which we were created from.

#happiness #old writings

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Some nights I wish I could go back in life. Not to change shit. Just to feel a couple things twice.

6PM In New York  (via dahlia–noir)