mdowsffron - Tumblr blog

mdowsffron · 24 days

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Sa bawat paghinga na aking ginagawa, ito’y may katumbas na pagod kong dinarama. Hindi naman kasi ako puwedeng huminto’t magpahinga dahil ito’y ikasasama ko lang din naman. Nakakatawa, hindi ba?

Sabi nga nila, ang pahinga ay para raw sa ikabubuti mo. Pero bakit naman ganoon? Kahit isang segundo ay ipinagkakait sa akin. Kasi kung ipagpapatuloy ko ang pansamantalang pagbitaw sa gawain ko, ito'y may kapalit na ikababa ko.

Hindi naman ako tulad ng iba na kahit walang aral dito ay pumapasa at nakakakuha ng mataas na marka pa. Hindi naman ako tulad ng iba na kahit anong sipag mag-aral ay nagagawa pa ring makapagbigay oras para sa sarili niya.

Hindi nga naman ako tulad ng iba

Dahil hindi sa oras na bitawan ko ang pag-aaral at gawain ko, kahit saglit, ay mawawala lahat ng pinagkahirap-hirapan ko para lang makarating sa tinutungtungan ko ngayon. Ang sariling pagpapahinga ay hindi naman gamot kung hindi lason para sa isang tulad ko— na kailangan pang magsumikap para lang may mapatunayan sa iba kapalit ng pag-iingat ko sa sarili kong hindi ko magagawa.

Kaya naman hindi ako puwede tumigil. Hanggat kinakaya ko pang bumangon sa araw-araw, kakayod at kakayod ako. Hanggat nasisilayan pa ako ng araw, hinding-hindi ako titigil. Hindi ako pipikit.

Kung tutuusin, hindi lang naman ito para sa akin, para rin naman ‘to sa mga umaasa sa akin. Natatakot ako na baka sa pagbigay ko ng oras para sa sarili ko ay wala na akong maibibigay pabalik bilang kapalit ng paghihirap nila para sa akin. Mababa na ang inaasahan nila sa akin, hahayaan ko pa bang mas bumaba pa?

Kaya kung kakayanin, gagawin. Hindi muna ako susuko upang masuklian ang paghihirap ng iba.

Sa susunod na lang, aking pahinga.

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

to live a life most lavishly is a dream of many. to be born to an ancestry that has access to luxuries was something that i was blessed with. but i believe that the grandest objects that are left on my palms are just a sign of her majesty favoring me. i am nobody but a slave—begging for a god's divine grace to be poured upon me as i am ought to worship her until the sun of my life sets.

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just for a touch, a light, a word—i wouldn't let my mind think twice to let my soul corrupt for i know that all of these deeds that i have are sacrifices for dear mother as my savior.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

all of us have various ways to show reverence for the greatest among all so let my palms be scarred with the blade that i've been using to make others as my gift for i am no saint but an immoral human— going out of one's ways just to please a god for their love. fear no bane, i shall let myself succumb to this darkness if that will mean taking all this evil to myself for it shall not touch others.

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if a mere mortal like i am is deemed to be a sinner then would it be a sin to love a god—a god whom the reason is why i let my life be tainted and stained my hands with the blood of people that wished to escape their demise from me—? is it awful of me to dedicate my unscrupulous work to her?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

tell me, mother (SAVE ME, MOTHER), what should i do to be worthy for thee to look at me in the eyes? SHOULD I LET BLOODY TEARS FLOW ON MY CHEEKS!? IF MY LIFE IS INSUFFICIENT AS A SACRIFICE, SHALL A WHOLE WORLD BE ENOUGH!? MOTHER, PLEASE, OH PLEASE LOOK TOWARDS MY WAY! I BEG FOR THEE TO BE MY SALVATION AND MASK MY EYES AGAINST THIS DREADFUL DELUSION! FORGIVE ME, MOTHER, IF I HAVE ASTRAYED! PLEASE SHOW ME THY MERCY!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

— damselette, a crying dove who was once a child—a daughter of winter, as pure as the driven snow. she who had wondrous dreams—seeking recognition from her majesty, the mother of winter. her young blissful fantasies were withered to form morbid nightmares tied to the chains of this living hell. she was erstwhile an innocent child that lost her wings through the fall of humanity—drowning into this karmic delusion.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

if fairy godmother could make magic sway in the air, then the reason why these musical notes have been a prancing about in the cold winter breeze might have been the work of the confuctor from an orchestra— like an endless music sheet, the notes seemingly became a magical path leading towards an unknown place. with your wonders about the melody that your ears couldn't seem to resist, you set your foot on the track to search for it as if you're on a haunt for lost treasure. once you've reached your destination, you were surprised to only find a bird cage where there lies a little dove, crying blood in the silent night—hoping for a taste of the bright light, yearning to be set free.

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indeed, the maiden's voice was something that could be valued as a treasure—beautiful and powerful. a voice spoke to you from a distance, its words filling your ears: 'listen to the mourns of the caged little dove. let her mellow voice captivate your heart as you pay attention to her soft cries. allow her melancholic tunes to envelop your ears.' if this was a theater play, then she surely left you astounded and made her way towards your heart's door and knocked on it until you let her in.

"poor little dove, shall i set you free?"

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her sweet voice was getting louder and louder as time passed by, making you all the more enticed to open her cage and let her freely fly. like a spell was cast upon your soul, your orbs were drawn to her as she finished her tunes with soft sobs. suddenly, the damsel in distress is all that you see. gazing at her sorrowful figure full of pity, you finally opened the cage as if pity was the key.

"soar high, little dove. let your wings be free."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

at long last, the dove was finally out of its cage. similar to a crowd waiting for the artist to show themself in the end, you were excited to shout 'encore' for you hoped to hear the little dove's sweet melodies one last time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

little did you know, all of this was nothing but a trap—from the moment you set foot on the track, you thought it would to paradise to this very moment before you. the dove you released from its cage did not remain as a dove but rather turn into a devious little damsel in the form of a young female puppeteer, who had long been waiting to take your foolish soul under her control. those played melodies were not a mere song about longing for freedom—instead they were a chant of a curse, luring you in to fall under a spell that lets her play with your shallow mind. now that you're wrapped around her finger, a new stage is set as for the puppet show begins.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

"put your heart on my hands and dance along to my tunes. fear nothing as i shall take care of you, my lovely little puppet."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

— damselette, dove.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

a bag of skittles

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a taste of childhood brings out different memories as each flavor is various when they melt in your tongue. flavors in the hues of the rainbow were enough to describe how colorful childhood is. although childhood isn't as colorful as everyone thought they are, a bag of skittles is enough to describe and bring back those nostalgic memories of the past.

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as a child, i usually get the color that was the same as the bag— red as love, its flavor is strawberry. like the fruit and color that it represents, indulging the rich flavors of candy reminds me of the time i used to blush around the smallest things. ahh. was that the feeling of love? like a strawberry's shape— the hearts that i drew were imperfect but enough to make my childhood sweetheart happy.

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those old times were i once thought that the feeling of love was like being a prince to a princess reminds me of the purple grape flavored candy. if purple is akin to royalty then i once thought that i was a prince whose duty was to save my damsel in distress. my, the fascinating feeling of this so-called 'love' was indeed one of those things that completes my childhood.

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but of course, childhood didn't remain bright and positive like how many might think. like the flavor of green apple and citrus fruits such as lemon and orange, sour memories were also present while growing up as a child. throughout my time as a little human, i've experienced situations where I from the past felt like he was scared. for instance, there were those burning shouts of anger that came from my parents whenever my grades fail or break a valuable object— they were enough to make tears flow out my orbs.

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although these memories indeed make me cry, they still helped me to mold myself into who i am right now. green apple and citrus fruits might be sour, they were my favorite flavors for they helped me to astray from the wrong path by simply bringing back those memories that once used to make my face crumpled and cry.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤin a bag of skittles, i am able to

savor and recall those precious

memories of my childhood.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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TW : graphic descriptions of decapitating,

blood, death and violence/murder, mentions

of witches and the devil. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

remember those cute giant heads that you usually see during the celebration of halloween? have you ever wondered why we carve faces on these squashes? as most of us know, pumpkins are one of the things that represent the spooky season that we love oh so much, halloween. as people carve faces on them, they are able to make various looks on the fruits.

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but,

are we sure that the deemed pumpkin is simply only a 'pumpkin'?

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during the 11th century, witchcraft and decapitation, or beheading, were two that never failed to leave the crowd shiver in horror. with the witches being associated with the Devil himself, execution such as beheading was a way to get rid of them.

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knowing that a huge part of one's body is about to get cut off, aren't you curious about what happens to it after one gets beheaded?

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some say, the heads were kept in a box before throwing them off somewhere or before giving them to the suspect's family. but what many do not know is that witches gather these heads to perform assorted experiments on them. 'oh why oh would someone do this sort of thing' is what you might think and it is indeed questionable.

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but— wouldn't it be interesting to scare people with a head that they once took off from its body? ever since the witches' images were treated like trash, they begin to hide their pain and anger— resorting to frightening people with their own kind.

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once a body's soul is free, the head becomes useless but for a witch who's considered a threat to humanity, it was quite the opposite.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

she would take this head out on her desk while she'll prepare and gather all the necessary materials needed for her craft. as soon as everything is prepared, she then slices the top of the head like how a headsman slices their heads without any regrets. it was as if she was cutting herself to console the pain that she got from the crowd surrounding the world.

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with the head being opened, she'll immediately take the very special organ, the brain, like how humans wanted to remove their existence from the world.

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eyes then were taken out like how they couldn't let themselves to see the light— just to hide and avoid getting caught by those dirty-handed beings.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

the process was indeed a pain and everything has hurt her. her own work was making herself suffer but she couldn't stop and let torment and terror cover her being like how the people wanted them to be.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

if you thought that it was painful for the soulless subject, then the creator herself was hurting more than you could have imagined, like how you thought a witch would be crueler than one's imagination.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

all of it was nothing but a process. now that the head's finally empty, was's time to carve it. with the tip of a blade, she'll sculpt out the eyes and the rotten flesh while blood flows down the face and its odor envelops the whole room as it reeks. the final process was like art and with that, the witch felt like an artist, sculpting herself to create a product that represents her agony.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

finally, the product is done, and with a help of a spell, a pumpkin will pop out of the ground, horrifying those fools who thought they were superior to the rest.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

a shadow amidst

the snowstorm.

as a creation of an experiment, it is normal for the subject to undergo various tests and trials to see its progress and to identify what results it might bring. of course, it would either be a failure or a success. nonetheless, it was nothing unusual as it is common in the field of research. whatever the results might be, the researcher has nothing else to do but to prepare for another test subject to try a different method and see what it may bring.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

i, myself, was also created through research. fortunately, i was deemed as a success by my master even if i was far from being perfect. i am indeed a bit lucky. it was like the gods were in favor of me and had helped me reach where i am now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

but to you, who once brought her excitement during the process, your current matters are different from the one that i have right now. you were once someone who's been given a lot of attention and focus but now, you are nothing but a failed product in alchemy. your world has turned upside down as if my master has forgotten the time that she focused on her first subject. in a place full of snow, you are now alone after you got discarded like how you were meant to be.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

like a shadow amidst the snowstorm, you are simply ignored as your existence wasn't known. with a bit of bitterness in your tongue, your being has been full of rage and despise. glaring at me from afar with the same orbs that i have, it felt like i stole your place in a life that was supposed to be yours.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

but of course, knowing how research works, i, too, would feel nothing but sorrow if i was in your shoes. like you, i will also let these resentful thoughts take over my body like i was corrupted. for someone who dwells like a shadow and a failure to the eyes of the gods, i would let myself get too far just to have something that i have always wanted from you. i would have thrown daggers at you using the same eyes that you have. i, too, would understand you if i was in your shoes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

scheming an unexpected is something that i'll put at the top of my list. i would act like you in disguise to fool the crowd in front of me and ruin the peace that everyone has. once the chaos has arrived, i've seized the moment to defeat the traveler and let them wither, like a flower you thought they are, inmy own hands. with that, i would let you feel my agony as i let you take a sight of those who i care for, who are now nothing but a bunch of corpses— waiting for the lifeless bodies to be buried and covered in snow.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

and maybe after that, i will finally be able to get the life that i've always longed for and act like there's peace around me.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

i, too, would understand you if i was in your shoes. after all, it was my fault that made you feel like this. i was responsible for your wrongdoings for i stole a life that you've always dreamed to have.

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

melodies were flying around, my own ears were ignoring them by simply focusing my attention on sketching the scenery in front of me. those melodies were nothing but a simple song— a noise that's created by my memories. they were nothing special as all i heard was something plain.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

but as soon as you appeared right in front of me like the golden sun that rose from the east, the simple song i've used to hear become something that mesmerizes me. it was as if you took my broken melodies— to craft them into something new. and every time i look at you, the tunes that i've used to think they're plain noise, were sparkling as of that moment. now, i hear a symphony.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

while i was busy sketching your gorgeous figure that was like made by some god, music notes keep on appearing around us- as if you were holding the sword, the flute, to fight a monster in a musical theater.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

like a sparkling fairy from the evergreen forest, the magic that you've used to make this lovely music- the spell was not only applied to the majestic piece you've made it has been cast to my heart, making me fall for this lovely music and the person behind it that i was eager to hear and see every day.

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your golden hair is as golden as your voice. the traveler that you are were soaring through the skies like a shooting star whenever you part your lips. 'tis beautiful to hear you speak— you're like a singing sun in summer warmth to make me feel hot in this silent and cold mountains.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

all was well. everything was in peace. the harmonics-like music notes were circling around us while we embrace each other's warmth, listening to the sweet tunes that you have in this endless coldness. i have never wanted more than anything else than to keep on hearing these sweet tunes as many times as i can and i thought that it could happen.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

that was until your traces were the only ones left along with our memories in this snow that took over the mountains. my, it was definitely chilly that a chalk like me was freezing to death as soon as you've left. my golden sunshine, it has gotten quiet in these empty mountains but oh, our everlasting memories have made me carry your fantastic song.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

your voice was like a symphonic melody as i repeatedly hear them inside my head as if they were a bunch of angels chanting a spell inside my head like a mantra. up until now, the lovely piece that you have created is still around, like your own silhouette is here.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

o mighty traveler from afar, i still hear a

symphony and i will never stop listening

to them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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It's such a surprise how a bottle, so small and clear— is akin to falling into a rabbit's hole. A peek through its opening isn't enough to tell how deep it goes. And as for the liquid fire that has been dancing through my veins, the uncertainty of this depth mixes in as it flows through the mere display of my transparent vulnerability.

If shutting unspoken whispers of my heart were an art, then rip my ribcage open and devour my being, if you must. Pour my blood into this vessel and empty my body until my soul leaves— until I'm nothing but a lifeless puppet, waiting to act upon new feelings that will once again eat me alive on this theatric show.

And in the end, once I'm all emptied, there lies my bottle, buried 6 feet underground with the Earth's embrace— surrendering once again as I let it rot within rich soil. Then maybe— maybe for once, I could finally have a taste of peace. Maybe this time, fate won't let a new blooming flower in me to wither alone. Perhaps letting this one go would mark the end of this burial cycle alone— hoping that someone would open the cap of my bottle and share it with me.

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mdowsffron · 25 days

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if ever i'm gone and you wish to find me, come meet by the shore; there you'll find me resting in my home that's in the form of a sea— reaching beyond the horizon, consistency leading to no one knows where. the place where my heart resides and my love grows.

the waves are life itself and when mine has been a complete tidal fury, i drag my feet along the shore and soon find myself sitting on the sand— the soft mumbering of the ocean waves playing like music while i bid my worries goodbye as the rapid tides takes it along while it drifts afar.

the sea is my comfort. its water taking me along the flow and away from reality— an escape that allows my self to be me: beautiful, mysterious, wild, and free. once my tidal waves approach the shore, the sea greets me with a sweet embrace and kisses from the sun that shines above.

and i just know that

no one could love me better than the sea

i wish to be loved the way the sea loves me.

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mdowsffron · 8 months

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in a space where there are lots of people, how is it possible that my eyes lands on you and just you all the time? could there be a thread around our fingers? no, i doubt it but rather, i think you're a magnet that's pulling me closer to you and no matter how hard i try, there's no way i can't resist the attraction that i have for you just like a metal for a magnet.

i wonder, is there any chance that your voice do something that's intended for me? i still think that i'll be selfish when wishing for the smallest hi from you. even if you do, i'm certain that i wouldn't be able to reply for my voice will be stuck on my throat just like how it is when you're around. so what more could happen if you actually approached me? would my face be a canvas with splattered red paint? if that's what it'll be like then i'm an unfinished painting that is no match to an intricate master piece that you are who's splashed with all the colors and details— clinging on to you like how your eyes are emphasized— intoxicating whiskey that's making me drunk and lost whenever i gaze on them.

but one thing is sure, if an artwork of calla lily like you is right in front of me, then i'll be a stumbling mess— an unfinished painting, just filled with red hues and spaces that are meant for other colors that are supposed to be things that i want to say to you.

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mdowsffron · 8 months

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oh, sunshine boy. your warm rays have spread around my face. there was no way i couldn't hide this tint blush of mine.

oh, sunshine boy. you did it again. my heartbeats are faster as if i ran for long- chasing your summer warmth. one couldn't catch his breath as he was too stunned when your dazzling smile has appeared. the world felt so bright, for an instance, all i can see is you and your white shiny teeth.

my sunshine boy, my heart only beats for you. it yearns for you and your soul and it wouldn't stop shouting for your coziness. you really are one bright sun. golden as your heart, let me treasure you as you soar high in my little world.

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mdowsffron · 9 months

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to whom i intend to write for,

no. this isn't a love letter but a message of farewell.

it must be sudden and surprising for you once you read this but this is for the best. these days, i've been feeling unwell and i might have developed an allergy and i feel worse when i'm around you. i could be sick but who knows? but it all leads to one conclusion &

i must be allergic to pretty people.

they make my blood rush down my cheeks and my hands shake at a simple sight of them. seeing their image is enough for me to lose my cool and be out of breath. a soft and sudden touch of their fingers against mine is enough to make my body feel sore from these "fluttering rashes" that some call as an electric jolt.

if it's not making any sense to you then let me be straight to the point.

ever since i took a bite of your sweets, i've been unable to think straight. tell me, were they actually sweet candies that's making me go down with sugar rush? or a drug that filled my head with nothing just for you to occupy my mind?

i can't help but scratch my nape and look away as if it's expensive to lay my eyes upon you. if aphrodite has sent the world a treasure then i'm sure it's you. i am not sure if i deserve to breathe the same air as you because the idea of being close to you makes my heart clench and i'm already unable to breathe.

so for the sake of my well-being, please do not approach me. i wouldn't want to last a day where i'm unable to catch a glimpse of you.

from a teenager who's undergoing some phase,

ezekiel.

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mdowsffron · 9 months

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jewelry and gems are definitely expensive but i'd say that the most expensive thing in the world would be love.

love isn't free unlike how it suggests it to be. sure feelings can be captured on quite surprising moments as if you'd found a penny on the ground. although both are meant to be like surprises, there are still differences between them.

love is expensive, like what i have just said. unlike the value of a penny, you've just found, the affection you gained for someone who was once a stranger gets heavier than a thousand pennies that you can gather on any ground. although money grows, it can be spent quickly but as for love, you have no choice but to accept what you feel and let love itself control the amount of affection you have.

they say it makes you feel safe yet it's can also scare you. although they say it can make you feel protected and secure, it may still end up hurting you both. with money, you can hire bodyguards without having to think of your employee as that is their job to protect you. but in love, it's not only you who needs to be protected but the person who also deems to be your knight in shining armor.

love is expensive yet greedy. there are always sacrifices on one another's end unlike when you buy something, you only have your money to lose in exchange for another value. but in love, your sacrifices tend to not only hurt you but your loved one/s as well, no matter what your intention is, may it be for the better or not. for some, it's like a sin to love as their affection can end up being suffocating for others, making them selfish. it's as if greed is taking your body and you're going out of your way just to get a grasp of them to satisfy your affection that wants to be poured into the other.

it's a bit funny how the natural feeling of love looks free for anyone when in fact, it's nowhere near free at all. i must say, it's quite a bait to use for some people who deceive others for their selfish intentions, fooling them for their so-called 'free love'. and that is why i am warning you, love is expensive and that's why i ended up with nothing when i lost it.

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mdowsffron · 9 months

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to be lost in one's thoughts feels like falling into a rabbit hole. a pitch-black space, no warmth to comfort a body in this cold. all that's in these thoughts were just unsaid words from my bottle that i've once buried deep under my mind. i've realized, burying something doesn't mean it's gone, no matter how deep it's under. may it be a body or a treasure, it has never been gone. they were never gone.

and as for i, what i've buried were no treasure or happy memories— but a bottle— a bottle with words that were wishing to see the beauty of light. words that craved to be set free. my words that also meant to hope for someone to understand me.

for years, after i've discarded what were supposed to be my thoughts, i've tried so hard to garner stardust for myself to shine. i've thought that maybe, under a sparkling light, you might be able to see me— to understand me. what i've once wished for might come true with just a tiny glimpse of light.

but i was fooled.

FOOLED!

all those sleepless nights, begging the stars to share me their light turned were thrown away as if i've wasted my time for nothing. now, i'm back in this suffocating space, screaming in agony as i dig up a bottle.

the moment i've opened the bottle, all the stardust i've worked hard for, disappeared into nothingness as i have turned back dead. once again, my body has lost its 'soul' and has to live lifeless. all that's left to me are just these words that i've once buried to be forgotten. but i was fooled by myself and knew that that burying something doesn't mean it's gone.

i'm no longer a child for i turned into a lifeless puppet. my existence means nothing if you won't use me for shows.

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