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Swann Arlaud as Vincent Renzi

ANATOMIE D'UNE CHUTE 2023 — dir. Justine Triet

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PETIT PAYSAN 2017 — dir. Hubert Charuel

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look at my lawyer dawg i‘m going to jail

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SWANN ARLAUD + LETTERBOXD REVIEWS Anatomy of a Fall (2023)

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Swann Arlaud as Vincent Renzi

ANATOMIE D'UNE CHUTE 2023 — dir. Justine Triet

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Two idiots decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. 

"What's Logic?" the first idiot asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example."

"Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!"

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The idoit is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!!"

The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" he replies.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" he asked.

"No," his friend replied.

"Gay."

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I am half asleep and started thinking about the Fellowship at the dentist, so:

WOULD THE FELLOWSHIP BE AFRAID OF GOING TO THE DENTIST?

Frodo: No. Goes to the dentist very rarely anyway, as his genes have blessed him with basically zero cavities.

Sam: A little nervous about it, but he goes there regardless. He has cavities, and Frodo convinces him to go. His hands sweat while he is in the chair, and he bows as a thank you before leaving the room.

Pippin: No. He goes there for fun, because he wants to try the laugh gas. Claims to have cavities more often than he actually does, just so he can take a handful of the candy offered for kids when he leaves.

Merry: No. He goes in, flirts with the receptionist, sits in the chair, and goes home.

Aragorn: No, but before he became King and he went there once, there was a shit ton of cavities and it took him like 3 appointments to take care of them all.

Gimli: Doesn't even go. Some of his teeth are probably some gold he struck in his mouth himself to resemble teeth.

Boromir: Terrified. Said "Gondor has no dentist, Gondor needs no dentist" so many times that he was dragged to the dentist (next to his house) by force. He acts all cool, but when he stands up from the chair, its just wet from his sweat.

Legolas: Doesn't need a dentist. Sometimes goes there to hold Boromir's hand and to look at all the equipment in amazement.

Gandalf: Doesnt need a dentist, but goes there from time to time just to sit down on the chair and talk to the dentist and the assistants for hours. He does this so often he has been banned from several places because 'he keeps wasting work time by endless talking'.

And as a bonus:

Bilbo: Passes out the second he sees the drill.

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the way aragorn runs is so chaotic

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i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least

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i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

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sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad