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You woke up at 4 am to get you and your daughter ready for the day. You hated getting up this early but it was the only way you could get yourself and her ready on time “Hey, baby girl its time to wake up” you said softly to your 4 year old “Five more minutes mommy” she said rolling over, you giggled softly “No honey you cant be late again”. Once she woke up and you got her dressed it was time to get yourself ready “Ok can you be a big girl and eat your oatmeal while mommy gets ready?” You asked her pinching her cheeks “yes and i wont even make a mess” she said smiling “alright I’ll be right back” you said leaving her to watch The Smurfs. As you were getting ready your phone rang, It was your best friend Claire who was also the assistant manager at your job “Hey Claire” you said into your phone “Hey Y/n you still good to pick me up from the airport” she asked over the phone “Yeah I’m getting ready now” you responded “Oh I almost forgot, guess who i ran into at the airport” she said “who” you asked “Rafa, He’s moving back home” you froze and went silent “he’s moving back like permanently” you asked “yeah I guess, it’s been like what 3 years” she said “mom I finished my oatmeal” you heard your daughter yell from the kitchen “oh claire ive gotta go, i have to get Riley into the car so we can leave” you said snapping out of your daze “Ok, see you soon” Claire said hanging up the phone. “Alright you’ve got everything” you asked Riley grabbing your car keys “yep” she said following you to the door “Ok are your ready to see auntie Claire” you asked her “Yeah! I miss auntie Claire” she said excitedly “She misses you too, come on lets go” you said leaving the house.
It was 6:00 by time you got to the airport to pick up Claire, Riley was so happy to see her. She told Claire everything she did while she was gone the whole ride to her school “Okay baby, give me a hug and I’ll see you later” you said bending down to hug and kiss your daughter “bye bye mommy” she said running to join her friends in the classroom. “Can you believe Rafa is moving back here” Claire said as you got back into the car “not really” you responded dryly “I didnt think he ever would hes been gone forever” she said while scrolling through her phone “I wish he would just stay wherever he was” you said out loud although you meant to keep it to yourself “whats your problem with him, i thought you two were cool” she asked “ yeah well shit happens I guess” you said keeping a blank stare on the road. Claire talked to you the whole ride back to her house but you didn’t really hear everything she said because you were too busy thinking about Rafael. “Ok im gonna go get some rest before my shift today, I’ll see you at work” Claire said as you pulled up to her house and she grabbed her bags from the trunk you waved goodbye and pulled off.
It was 9 am and you already wanted the day to be over, something about knowing Rafa was back made you want to just go home but you couldn’t do that so for now you were just praying you didn’t run into him “whats got you so moody today” Claire asked from behind you “huh? Nothing Im just a little tired” you lied “what are you doing here anyway i thought you weren’t supposed to work until 12” you asked “Jenny called and asked me to cover her for a few hours” she replied “but seriously what’s wrong with you” she asked “Nothing im fine” you lord again “yeah ok, you’ve been in a funk since I told you about Rafael” she said as she was helping you set up to open the store “it’s nothing” she said walking away from her to unlock the doors “will you just tell me” she said laughing a little trying to find out what happened between you and him “will you let it go if i do” you asked, she nodded “fine” you sighed “when he left he just stopped talking to me so i guess im mad at him for that” you said hoping she wouldn’t ask any follow up questions “it’s been 4 years though and im sure he was busy, maybe you should call him” she suggested “exactly its been 4 years and i don’t really wanna talk to him now” you said desperately trying to get off this topic “okay…” she said slightly shocked at how upset you seemed to be with him “I just wanna get through the day so i can go home and watch some tv with my daughter” you said counting down the hours until you got off.
2pm
You felt your phone buzz in your pocket as you were finishing up helping a customer, when you took out your phone to see who was calling you say that it was Riley’s daycare “hello” you said into the phone “Hi, Ms. Y/l/n, I was just calling to let you know that Riley threw up and she has a slight fever we think it would be best if you took her home, shes not looking too good” Rileys teacher said “oh ok, yeah im on my way thanks” you said ending the call and going to find Claire “Hey Claire Rileys Teacher just called shes sick and i gotta go get her do you think i can bring her here” you asked “Ah no sorry Jenny told me shes allowed in the back anymore” she said with an apologetic look on her face “Shit ok uh” you said trying to figure out what you were gonna do “Hey dont worry im off im 30 minutes, go get her and i’ll watch her until you get off” she said trying to keep you from panicking “are you sure you’ve already watched her so many times” she stopped you, pulling you into a hug “of course i know you’re stressed trying to do this alone plus I love hanging out with her” she said “thanks Claire” you said smiling at her.
Once you picked Riley up and got back to your job Claire was off and ready to watch Riley for you “Thanks again Claire I really appreciate it” you said putting your sleeping daughter into the back seat of Claires car “no problem and I’ll bring her home when you get off” she said helping you put Riley and her bag in the car “you know i could keep her for a couple days if you want” she said “no thats ok I think I would feel lonely in the house alone” you said, it had been years since you had the house to yourself but you liked not being alone because you had your daughter “oh my god” Claire said looking behind you “what?” You said turning around to see what she was looking at and boy did you wish you hadn’t turned around. It was Rafa he was there getting ready to walk into your job “Hey Rafa” you snapped your head around as you heard Claire call out to him “Why” you asked her “Oh shit hey” he said smiling coming over to the car “Hey Y/n” he said pulling you into a hug but all you could do was stand there “uh hey” you stuttered out “what are yall up to right now, I was gonna go met up with Diggs it you wanna come” you wanted to punch him in the face because of the way he just wanted to act like nothing ever happened “Oh i cant I’ve gotta work” you said trying your best to avoid looking him in the eyes “I would go but ive gotta watch her kid” Claire said pointing to Riley sleeping in the car “Holy shit you had a kid” Rafa asked “yeah” you answered dryly “oh she’s so cute whats her name” your heart was beating fast and you feel like you were about to pass out. “Riley” you watched him as he looked your- well his daughter “how old is she” he asked “she’s 4” you prayed that he didn’t put two and two together because you really couldn’t handle that situation right now “Holy fuck” Claire said from behind you. You and Rafa turned to see what was wrong “uh I forgot my mom was coming over later and I gotta clean my house” you knew she knew, you also knew she was gonna wanna talk about it and you weren’t ready for that. You saw Diggs walk down the street and he greeted you and Claire, after you all said your hellos Rafa and Diggs walked into the store “Is she his” Claire asked once they were out of ear shot “Claire i really dont wanna talk about this right now” you said looking at the ground “she is isn’t she” you wanted to bury yourself and never come out “so thats why you’re so mad at him, because he left” you just nodded “are you gonna tell him” she asked “no, i dont need his help” you said “well I know that but maybe he should know that hes a dad” she said “yeah but I mean its been 4 years and its not like I havent tried to tell him, he just stopped answering my texts and calls” you could feel yourself getting upset and you just wanted the day to be over “Look i gotta get back to work can we talk about this later” you said realizing your break was almost over “yeah but you should tell him, like now he deserves to know” she said “how, do i just walk up to him and say hey i haven’t seen you in almost 5 years but anyway the kid you just saw is your daughter” your heart stopped when you turned to see Rafa standing in front of the door “what” you wanted to die, you didn’t think this would happen any time soon and definitely not like this but now you had no choice “shes mine” Rafa asked you as he look you in the eyes
God why couldn’t he have just stayed wherever he was
Im leaving you with a cliff hanger because my brain has stopped working
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First words
I got a little high and wrote this so enjoy
You and Rafael had your first kid 8 months ago and shes the perfect little mix of the both of you, she has Rafa’s perfect smile and your eyes and you two couldn’t be happier with the little family you started. It was getting close to Dahlias bed time and everyone was sitting on the couch while you were trying to keep Mia distracted so we wouldn’t try to lick the babies face you heard Rafael say something to the baby “can you say daddy for me, I know i’m you favorite” you smiled as he softly cooed to her “why are you fighting so hard for daddy to be her first word” you said “I’m not fighting hard for it, Im just heavily encouraging her” he said bouncing her “well its been weeks baby i dont think shes gonna say it any time soon” you said getting up to put mia in her crate “let’s go to bed, i wanna be well rested before her appointment tomorrow you know we’re gonna be there forever” Rafael got up and followed you to Dahlias room you could hear him still trying to get her to talk while you were taking all the stuffed animals out of the crib “you could say mommy just to make daddy a little jealous” you said take her from him to put her down “Hey I wouldn’t be jealous just slightly heartbroken” he said pretending to cry. You laughed as you put Dahlia in her crib “I promise you she’ll say daddy first there’s nothing to cry about” you say as you turn around to get her blanket but while you’re grabbing the blanket you hear what you thought was just baby sounds “baby! Did you hear her” Rafa whisper yelled trying not to scare the baby “yeah” you said turning around to look at him “why are you freaking out” he asked “babe she does that all the time” you said “no she said daddy” he said giggling “no she didnt” you said laughing at him “yes she did! come on say it again” he said leaning over her crib trying to get her to talk again “Rafa let her go to sleep” you said still laughing “no i want her to say it again” he whined “ok we’ll try again tomorrow” as you turned around to walk away to heard a tiny voice say daddy. You stopped walking and turned to look at Rafael with wide eyes “oh my god” you said “I told you she said it” Rafa said picking her up and kissing her little cheeks, you walked up to him watching Dahlia smile at him “ok baby put her down shes gotta go to sleep” you said giggling “okay, alright” he said putting her down and giving her pacifier, he kissed her on the forehead and followed you into your bedroom. As your getting into bed you see Rafael crying “Rafa whats wrong” you asked rubbing his shoulder “she can talk now” he said through tears “baby she said one word” you said as you wiped the tears from his face “yeah but then shes gonna walk and fucking leave the house to go to college” he said dramatically as he put his head on you chest “Rafa shes 8 months old” you said giggling while you ran your fingers through his hair “I know but she wont be one day” he said wrapping his arm around you. You started you drift off to sleep when you heard Rafael say your name “yeah” you said wondering what dramatic thing he was gonna say “can he have another one” he asked “sure” you replied “yay” he said mid-yawn you smiled while thinking about how good of a dad he is and how much you love your family
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Wedding date
You needed a date to your brothers wedding because your best friend bailed on you last minute for her boyfriend “y/n im sorry i just haven’t seen him in forever you know hes been away for months” she apologetically over the phone “ok but his wedding is tomorrow who the hell am i gonna bring now” you yelled at her “dude chill out, ask Diggs” she offered a solution “hes in Texas” you said rubbing your forehead and pacing around your house “robbie then” she said “im not taking my ex to my brothers wedding” you groaned “ask Rafael” you froze “absolutely not” you replied “why not, you know he would go with you” she said “im not asking him to be my date to the wedding” you said “oh, is this because of your little, sorry huge crush on him” she chucked at you “maybe” you said quietly “look i have to go but call him and ask he’ll probably say yes,love you bye” you tossed your phone on the couch “god damn it” you said picking up your phone back up to call Rafael “hey, whats up” you heard his voice on the other side of the phone and you panicked a little “hey um are you doing anything tomorrow night” you asked him kind of hoping he was “nope why what do you wanna do” he replied “can you come with me to Jacks wedding, kimmy bailed on me for her boyfriend” you said “uh yeah I can go” you let out a sigh of relief “great thanks we have to be there by 5 I’ll text you the address” you said “ok see you tomorrow” you ended the call and sat on the couch finally relaxing and hoping tomorrow would go smoothly.
It was almost 5 you were freaking out because Rafael wasnt there yet and you we’re starting to worry that he blew you off, you were standing in a corner of the room trying not to sweat off your makeup “could you at least pretend to be happy today” your brother said walking up to you “what. no i am happy, im so happy im just kinda freaking right now” you said “yeah i can tell” he said laughing softly “i know you’re upset because Kimmy ditched you but you know Raf wont do that to you, its only 4:30 he’ll be here” your brother said trying to ease your worries “thanks Jack” you said hugging him “you’re welcome little sister, hey you dont still have a crush on him do you” he asked “what? No” you said a little too fast “yeah, okay” he said laughing “i gotta go finish getting ready just chill ok” he said walking away from you “hey” you heard from behind you and your worries were finally gone “hey thanks for coming on such a short notice” you said “no sweat i wasnt gonna let you come alone” he said hugging you, god you loved when he hugged you you almost hoped he would never let you go “you two are so cute” you heard your cousin say “oh god not now” you said breaking your hug “hey sarah i havent seen you since you were like 10” Rafael said smiling at her “when are yall just gonna get together” Sarah joked and you glared at her from behind Rafa “Oh ew no” Rafa laughed
Ouch.
“We grew up together its like shes my cousin it would be hella weird” your heart broke slightly as he said that. You never told him you liked him so it’s not like he said it to hurt you, but it still hurt “hey guys its almost time” you mother said from behind you and now you have to get through the wedding without crying.
The ceremony was beautiful but you were glad it was over so you could just go home and cry. You were trying to think of an excuse while looking for your brother to tell him you were going home.
once you finally found him you told him you were sick and as you were leaving you ran into Rafael outside “hey where you running off to” he asked you “home” you said walking down the stairs “wait whats wrong he said walking behind you “nothing” you replied “you sure ‘cause you’re making that face you make when your mad” he said “dude im fine i just wanna go home” you said just wanting him to leave you alone “why are you mad at me right now” he asked you “im not” you said flatly “you are” he said grabbing your arm making you stop walking “can you just talk to me” he said looking into your eyes “i dont want to do this right now” you said trying to walk away “do what” he said grabbing you again “why do you think it would be weird to date me” you asked him wishing you hadn’t because this wouldnt lead to something you wanted to hear “what” he said “you told sarah it would be weird to date me” you said “wsit you’re mad at me because i told your cousin it would be weird for us to date” he asked “why do you think that” you asked him trying not to cry “i dont know, we’ve just been friends for so long and i dont want to lose that” he said softly “how would be lose this” you said tears streaming down your face “i dont know y/n why does it matter” he said “why do you think it matters” you said as he just stared at you “oh Jesus Christ, because i love you” you finally told him “wait what” he laughed “this is why i didnt want to do this” you said walking away “no wait” he called after you “what” you turned to face him again “I love you too” he said “dont fuck with me right now” you said “im not, im serious i love you” he said stepping closer to you “i just didnt know how to tell you” you were looking at him waiting for him to laugh or to something but he didnt, he really was serious “im didnt mean to make you mad im sorry” he said “its okay” you said closing the space between the two of you “i really wanna kiss you right now” he said looking into your eyes “me too” you said as he leaned in to kiss you and it felt like your heart was exploding.
You pulled away smiling at him “so, its not weird” he said smiling back at you “no” you said still smiling like an idiot “how about i take you home and we watch a movie” he said “only if you promise not to complain about what I pick” you said “uh no promises” he laughed wrapping his arm around you and walked you to his car.
After all this you were glad kimmy bailed on you
This was all over the place😶
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amnesia
You rushed to the hospital after getting the call from Diggs that Rafael got hurt, he wouldn't tell you anything over the phone and you're worried that he could be dead or dying. “Daveed what the hell happened” you yelled running from your car to the door of the ER “He’s fine, we were drinking and I pushed him into the pool and he hit his head at the bottom but he’s ok they said his vitals are good there just waiting for him to wake up” he explained trying to calm you down “Fuck Diggs, how many times have i told you two to stop fucking around by the pool while y’all are drinking” you scolded him “I know im sorry” he said looking at the ground “No, I'm sorry” you sighed “im just worried about him” you said taking a deep breath “can i see him” you asked he nodded and took you to his room “okay, i should warn you now” Diggs said stopping before he opened the door to the room “warn me what?”
“Nessa is here”
Nessa. His Ex, you’ve always hated her. She broke Rafa when she cheated on him and you picked up the pieces and fixed him now she’s always around trying to get him back. “Why is she here” you whisper yelled at Diggs “she was at the house when it happened and she refused not to come so she’s here” he told you “Just, for the sake of Raf dont start anything” he said trying to calm the storm before it started “fine, but you know I never start it” you said pushing past him into the room. “What are you doing here” Nessa said glaring at you “im his girlfriend, why are you here” you responded “well, i was his girlfriend first” she said smirked “Yeah until you fucked some random dude in his house” you said wanting to stomp her face in “y/n” Diggs said from behind you “don’t” as much as you wanted to drag her out of the room by her ratty hair, you knew he was right, this was about Rafael.
After about a hour of being in the hospital Nessa finally left to go get food and it was just you and Diggs in the room “i really want to punch her” you said filling the silence “i know” Diggs chuckled “hopefully she stays out there because if I hear one more thing from her I swear” you said laughing and Diggs laughed loudly “Jesus Christ dude do you have to be so loud” you both stopped laughing as you heard Rafa say something for the first time in hours “holy shit man you scared the hell out of me” Diggs said hugging him “what the hell happened” Rafa asked groggily “you got knocked out by this fool” you said walking over to kiss him and he moved “Woah girl I know we’re close but we ain’t that close” he said and you looked at him confused waiting for him to say hes fucking with you “um, im gonna go get the doctor” Diggs said leaving the room “Rafa are you fucking with me right now” you asked laughing nervously “why would i be fucking with you? I love you but we’re just friends”.
Fuck. He doesn’t remember, He doesn’t remember the last 4 years we spent together. Just as you were going to try to make him remember you Nessa walks in “oh hey someone finally woke up” she said pushing past you to hug him. You glared at her knowing she was doing it just to fuck with you “yeah baby im up” he said hugging her back.
baby.
Tears started to fill your eyes and you left the room as fast as you could “y/n what happened” Diggs yelled after you but you couldn’t find the words to tell him that your boyfriend doesn’t remember hes your boyfriend.
After 20 minutes of crying in some random hallway of the hospital Diggs found you “hey” he said walking up to you “what’d they say” you asked sniffling “they said he has anterograde amnesia, and they dont know if he will remember the last 4 years” he explained to you “so he doesn’t remember us at all” you sobbed “no, y/n im so sorry this is all my fault I shouldn’t have pushed him in the pool” he said starting to cry himself “its fine, im just gonna go home” you said standing up and wiping your face “no dont go we can make him remember” he said following you “he called her baby Diggs he wont remember” you said walking away.
You walked back in the room to say goodbye and saw nessa and Rafael cuddled up in the hospital bed
“Hey im gonna head out, just wanted to say bye” you said to him trying to fight the tears “oh okay um i’ll see you later then” he replied “yeah i’ll call you tomorrow” you said turning to leave “wait y/n, i will walk you out” nessa said getting up to follow you
“Y/n” she called after you “what do you want nessa” you said stopping to face her “i just wanted to say sorry” she started “why” you said “Because you were wrong, he is still mine” she said smirking at you, before you could even think you had slapped her across the face “shit” you whispered as you turned to leave to get to your car.
You cried the whole way home thinking about all the time you spent with him and how you’ll never have that again, because he wasn’t yours anymore.
I regret writing this😭
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