lyadontknowmel

[lyadontknowmel]

Dumbledore: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Grindelwald: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Dumbledore: ...Oh.

Grindelwald: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

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Albus: The neighbours kids challenged us to a water fight.

Gellert: I’m in! I just need to wait for the water to start boiling.

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Dumbledore: I would say I'm gayer than you.

Grindelwald: How are you gayer than I am?

Dumbledore: I wear a man purse!

Grindelwald: That's not gay, that's hideous. And if you were as gay as I am, you'd know that.

[lyadontknowmel]

[lyadontknowmel]

incorrect grindeldore quotes

Gellert: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Albus: …This just says “I can do what I want”.

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Gellert: *says something evil and morally reprehensible*

Albus: Remind me again why I’m so in love with you?

Gellert: *smiles*

Albus, blushing: Ah. Yes. Right.

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Newt: You made a blood pact, didn't you?

Albus: yes it was very intimate afterwards we f*cked each other

Newt: E-Excuse me...?

Albus: Near my brother's goats

Newt: ...

Albus: Just because your shy ass is a virgin doesn't mean everyone's has to be. 100 points deduction for Hufflepuff

[lyadontknowmel]

Dumbledore: [about Grindelwald] It's not that he's "evil"... He just lacks empathy and he goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities.

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Albus, singing: I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me.

Gellert: I love you.

Albus: 😍😍

*1945*

Gellert: Wow, you really know how to break a promise.

Albus: How so?

Gellert, singing: I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me. *speaking* Sound familiar?

Albus: Well, yes, but -

Gellert: And I still love you. Always.

Albus: …damn it.

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Gellert: So what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?

Vinda: You’re supposed to attend Abernathy’s wedding. It’s going to be in a barn. *shakes her head* I don’t see the appeal.

Gellert: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Vinda: *frowns* What?

Gellert: What? *gay panics*

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leta: if you put “violently” in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier

jacob: violently bakes

queenie: violently reads minds

theseus: violently stares at wall

newt: violently chases nifflers

tina: violently facepalms

gellert: violently murders people

albus: violently worries about that previous statement

[lyadontknowmel]

Grindeldore incorrect quote (from X men first class)

[lyadontknowmel]

You bring up a fascinating point. There's scant canon detail about Ariana's personality. We know she had outbursts, had to be coaxed to eat, etc, and that made fandom assume she was childlike and not mentally competent (in the legal sense) due to intense trauma. But it could could also have been severe depression? If she knew she had an incurable condition that kept her from school, helped put her father in prison, made outcasts of her family, and caused her mother's death? That's a heavy load

it is!! and I have a lot to say about that! but before we dig into it, I do want to talk about why I never assumed she was childlike or mentally incompetent, which means (sigh) I have to talk about Aberforth again

there's a conception I've seen floating around that criticism of Aberforth (people assuming he's a homophobe, mostly) is due to shipping, and wanting him to be the bad guy in the Grindeldore story, and I've never felt that way at all, so I want to set that out from the start. Aberforth has always made me profoundly uncomfortable basically since 2007 when I read the book, and it's always been because of how he treated Ariana.

see, I view him as a somewhat unreliable narrator. I think that he accurately recounts the facts of what happened, but his emotional state colors his opinions, and the conclusions he draws don't textually add up. I think that's true of his account of Albus and Gellert's relationship, and I think it's true of his version of events surrounding Ariana.

why?

because JKR plays with unreliable narration in exactly this kind of way, multiple times per book. It's one of the core elements of the series. Harry will always witness something, or overhear a conversation, or come across evidence, and he draws incorrect conclusions from it. the facts get conveyed accurately to the audience, but the assumptions and feelings of the person witnessing those facts are almost always incorrect and stay that way until the end of the story when they're all explained correctly and the truth is revealed. it's not just Harry, either - the whole of wizarding society does this with regard to Sirius Black. this is something she does many times on purpose. I don't think it's unfair to say that Aberforth's version of the story is factually accurate but missing or omitting several important contextual pieces.

okay, so why do I feel he's that way about Ariana? well, the short answer is "because I'm disabled, and the way he talks about her skeeves me out majorly and has for years."

we the readers see absolutely no external proof that she was feeble-minded, or childlike, or that she couldn't take care of herself on a very basic level. Albus never says it in the King's Cross conversation, Bathilda and Muriel and Elphias never mention it, Rita's book never mentions it. the only person who insists this is true is Aberforth. we're supposed to take his word as gospel here... except for the fact that Albus doesn't think she's too sick to travel? Albus never admits in the books that he pushed his sister too far, that he overtaxed her, that he ignored her. And he's very open about his flaws - if he'd failed in this way, he'd own up to it! Plus, disabled people can travel internationally! we can go on vacations! we can have exciting lives! why should Aberforth be the one deciding for his sister what she can or can't do when he's only a year older than her, and Albus is the adult in the house?

plus, if we're meant to assume she's an Obscurial, if we take into account the FB movies? Credence is walking around Europe, and talking to people, and can live safely in a house with strangers, and can go on missions! they can speak in full sentences and feed themself and survive on their own! why is Ariana doomed to be quiet and childlike forever while Credence puts the lie to that assumption?

and the FB movies paint Aberforth in a kinder light than the books do - he's much less resentful and much less bitter - and Albus talks about the duel again, but despite the good guys being more good and the bad guys being more bad? this time there's no mention of Ariana being too sick to be moved. the fight happens because Albus and Gellert want to go away, and Ariana dies because she tries to stop it from happening.

as a result, I have to say that I think the assumption that she was traumatized into helplessness is 100% fanon. yes, I'm aware I'm loud and angry about this, I'm really sorry lmao I get heated when there's ableism on the table.

basically, I'll trust what Aberforth says when I get objective proof that didn't come from his testimony that Ariana actually was as much of an invalid as he insists. and because of that, I think it is much more likely that she had chronic depression and a serious anxiety disorder and cognitive impairments more in line with traditional neurodivergence than anything else. before the attack she seems to be a bright, inquisitive, magically talented little girl - she's doing noticeable wandless magic at six years old! holy shit, that's genuinely prodigious! and unless Ariana had, like, severe lasting brain damage from the attack? that's not someone who was born with the kind of severe intellectual disabilities that a perpetually childlike demeanor and intelligence would suggest. she isn't developmentally delayed in terms of her brainpower, she's ahead of the curve.

but after the attack? everything changed for the worse. she had to fight to control herself at six years old, barely understanding what had happened to her. she had to live for eight years knowing that she was the reason her father went to jail, she was the reason they had to move to a new house, she was the reason her family was sad and broken and depressed, she was the reason her brothers didn't get along, and if she ever let herself feel anything about her attack, or her circumstances? she could kill someone! that's so much for a little girl to have to live with! she can't go to school, she can't make friends, she has to live her life like one of the secret children from Margaret Peterson Haddix's Shadow Children books, forever indoors and unable to show her face. and then she's the reason her mother dies, and she can't even cry at Kendra's funeral, because if she does she might blow the place up.

put simply, I would kill for Ariana Dumbledore. she deserved so much better.

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"Of course you will hurt me, that's what love is"

grindeldore au

[lyadontknowmel]

gellert: some people are like slinkies.

albus: explain.

gellert: not really good for much but make you crack a smile when you push them down the stairs.

albus:

albus: please don't push newt down the stairs.

gellert: you can't stop me.

(oh hon yes he can)

[lyadontknowmel]

“Let’s get one thing straight. I’m not.”

- Gellert Grindelwald to Albus at some point, almost definitely.

[lyadontknowmel]

Albus: Are you ready to commit?

Gellert: Like, a crime or a relationship?

Albus:

Gellert:

Gellert: I'm up for both, by the way.