lunaestlle

[lunaestlle]

saan ba kasi ako makakahanap ng mga nagha-hike na pwede ang solo joiner, yung may guide. pa-birthday ko na lang sana sa sarili ko para mabawasan ang worries at makita kung gaano kalawak ang mundo haha oa pero legit nga.

[lunaestlle]

[lunaestlle]

may concert ang sunkissed lola dito mamaya huhu sana may magbigay sa 'kin ng ticket. charot!

[lunaestlle]

tamang journal lang sa cafeteria habang may nagi-spoken poetry sa court malapit. nabawasan mga iniisip ko ♡

[lunaestlle]

[lunaestlle]

There are times you'll get tired of waiting.

And I guess isa ito sa mga araw na yon cause it's love month. Ang daming love birds sa social media and ofc it's great na makita silang nagmamahalan hehe you can see it in their eyes that they really love each other. Gagamitin ko na naman ang "As a person na hindi pa nagkakaroon ng lovelife" haha at the age of 20 btw I'll turn 21 this March, I didn't get to experience ma-inlove kasi naman nakicringe ako at ang dami kong nakikitang cheater. Pero higit sa lahat pinoprotektahan ko lang yung sarili kong masaktan. Ang dami kong nakikitang nagbibreak at umiiyak lalo na mga nagbebeg. I don't want to see myself sa ganoong sitwasyon. That's why every time nasesense ko na mafafall ako or maa-attach ako, I limit my interaction sa taong 'yon. Madaling mahulog pero mahirap bumangon.

But this month, it's different kasi gusto kong maranasan ang nararanasan ng iba. Like my friends na 6 years na sila, nagstart nung jhs. I want to experience high school love haha pero I can't rewind time. I'm 2nd year na supposedly 3rd year college and introvert ako that's why lagi akong mag-isa sa school (pero choice ko yon kasi ayoko sa crowded places) minsan naiisip ko na what if may kasama rin ako gaya ng mga nakikita kong dumadaan sa harap ko. Kasamang kumain, mag-aral, gumala, at kung ano pa. Gusto ko rin maranasan yung may magkicare sayo at yung tatanungin how was your day. Pati na yung magkatabi kayo sa lecture or if hindi kayo same course pwedeng bibisitahin mo siya sa building nila to get some strength and inspiration tapos maglalakad-lakad kayo sa campus. Okay, tama na ang imagination. Hindi naman siguro 'to dahil sa lagi akong mag-isa ay baka kailangan ko lang ng kasama like kaibigan kasi may kaibigan naman ako and lagi nila akong sinasamahan at inaalagaan.

Every time na nasa ganitong situation ako, lagi kong iniisip na wag magpadalos-dalos sa pag-ibig. Darating din ang tamang tao sa tamang oras at tamang lugar. Hindi mauuna at hindi mahuhuli. May magbibigay din sayo ng bulaklak pero ngayon bilhan mo muna ang sarili mo (e kaso naubos na pera ko sa tuition at makakapal na libro). Love yourself. Treat yourself. Focus on improving yourself (para ready ka rin sa right person na nilaan ni Lord) at kapag hindi mo na hinanap kusang lalapit yan higit pa sa expectation mo and standards mo. And also as a girlie na mataas ang standard at palaging ipinagdarasal ang future partner and may approval ni Lord ang sinet na standards ay pls pls always stick sa standard na ipinagpray niyooo like dapat lahat yan may ✔️. Don't settle for less.

[lunaestlle]

Two years have already passed and I still haven't moved on, ikaw pa rin. I thought nakalimutan na kita, na I don't care about your life or if you found someone who can reciprocate your love na you really deserve naman. It turns out that only a dream can bring back all the pain, all the painful memories and decisions I made.

Idk nga e, hindi naman kita iniisip since distracted din ako, kung bakit kita napanaginipan and that dream was very vivid that day. I tried to forget that dream bcs I don't want to suffer and be guilty again and thank God it worked but it didn't end there. I got curious about his life again haha I guess I romanticized that dream too much. I checked his social and I was devastated with what I saw, it was not what I was expecting (though inexpect ko na 'to dati haha, gulo). I saw his 'highlight' with photos and videos of him and his girlfriend (like pa-sweet, puro kiss) pati mga sp niya. I'm happy bcs he's happy but I can't deny na I envy his girl, there were sneaky little maybes and what-ifs but I don't regret the decision I made before, the only thing I regret is that I didn't explain my decision to him properly and truthfully. How come no one told me na mahirap pala magka-internet crush.

I don't know if you still remember me dahil wala pang months nung nag-usap tayo. I hate you and I miss you but I won't confuse you like I did before. I'm sorry if I gave you motives na hindi ko pala kayang panindigan. I'm sorry if you think na I played w your feelings, I rlly liked you but I was afraid and insecure.

Like what I told you before, I'm still rooting for you, for your happiness. I will cheer for you but this time I'll cheer silently.

Bye.

Love, Luna

[lunaestlle]

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.”

— Abraham Joshua Heschel

[lunaestlle]

“Be softer with you. You are a breathing thing. A memory to someone. A home to a life.”

— Nayyirah Waheed

[lunaestlle]

"I tried to ask my parents to leave the room, but not my life. It was very hard. Because the room was the size of my life. Because my life was small."

— Chen Chen, “Chapter VIII”

[lunaestlle]

"A child is most intelligent when the reality before him arouses in him a high degree of attention, interest, concentration, involvement—in short when he cares most about what he is doing. This is why we should make schoolrooms and schoolwork as interesting and exciting as possible, not just so that school will be a pleasant place, but so that children in school will act intelligently. The case against boredom in school is the same as the case against fear; it makes children behave stupidly, some on purpose, most because they cannot help it. If this goes on long enough, as it does in school, they forget what it is like to grasp at something, as they once grasped at everything, with all their minds and senses; they forget how to deal positively and aggressively with life and experience, to think and say, "I see it! I get it! I can do it!"

—John Holt, How Children Fail

[lunaestlle]

[lunaestlle]

It’s been a while since I stayed up all night texting with someone. –It’s the first time for me. But don’t your wrists hurt?

SUMMER STRIKE (2022) dir. Lee Yoon-jung

[lunaestlle]

SUMMER STRIKE (2022)

[lunaestlle]

namiss ko tuloy sa legazpi

Summer Strike 아무것도 하고 싶지 않아 (2022) | Season 1 Episode 3 — dir. Lee Yoon Jung

[lunaestlle]

[lunaestlle]

WAVES