π ~Things that made me love Zsadist and Bella's relationship
π~When she was kidnapped, he was in charge of watering her plants so that when they returned they were well and if her parents for some reason sold her house, in case she was dead, she would buy it because it reminded her of her.
π ~She was her first kiss, her first orgasm. After so much suffering for what happened as a slave, he was able to do all those things that he once believed in and was taken away with Bella
π~He was wearing his eternal diamond necklace to have something of his with him
π~ Zsadist had a wound in his foot that prevented him from walking but he still carried her in his arms and continued walking with her until she was safe away from that place where she had been captive. He didnβt want anyone to heal him or worry about him until they save her
π~When she was recovering from her wounds, he sang to her in the bathroom next to her and she was relaxing
π~ He didn't feel enough for her, he didn't want to contaminate her with his blood, I leave here a quote that broke my heart
βIβ¦I canβt get clean. I donβt want you to get dirty, too.β He lifted his wrist and blood oozed down his forearm. βSee? Look at the dirt. Itβs all over me. Inside of me.β
I know SJM said Lover Awakened was her favorite Black Dagger Brotherhood story, and really who doesnβt love this one? But I hadnβt read it in years and decided to skim through it and Iβ¦tell me if any of this sounds familiar to you. π
Zsadist was a former slave, locked away in a cell and tortured for years, and still bears the scars from his time there. He is filled with an icy rage and violence. He feels disgusting, tainted, and not good enough for Bella. He believes his scars and blood band slave tattoos are a physical manifestation of everything wrong within him and unworthy of Bella.
βIβ¦I canβt get clean. I donβt want you to get dirty, too.β He lifted his wrist and blood oozed down his forearm. βSee? Look at the dirt. Itβs all over me. Inside of me.β
I want you, but itβs not right. You shouldnβt be with me. Youβre cleaner than that.β
Bella is described several times as a lady, kind, lovely, a woman of worth.
Sheβd been beautiful and soft and kind, a regal, aristocratic female from a privileged background.
Phury, Zsadistβs twin, has red, gold and black hair, a prosthetic leg, is not angry like his twin, considered noble and honorable, and like Zsadist he βended up bonded with the same femaleβ
Holy shit, this was troubleβof the bury-your-dead variety. Two bonded males tied to the same female were a lethal combination to begin with. Make that two warriors and you had the potential for serious injury.
Phury loves Bella but she constantly rejects him and heβs angry at first because he thinks Z only wants Bella for sex.
As Bellaβs eyes lifted to his, his skin got too small for his skeleton. Which was what rejection did to a male. Just shriveled you right up.
Like a total lunatic, he briefly considered going back in and fighting Zsadist for the right to lie next to her. He could see himself throwing the hand-to-hand around, having an old-fashioned cohntehst with his twin over who was allowed to have her.
And then the very next sentence is this:
But this was not the Old Country. And females had the right to choose who they sought out. Who they slept beside. Who they mated with.
At one point Zsadist rescues Bella after sheβs kidnapped, cradles her to his chest, wonβt put her down even after being shot in the leg and injured, and when Bella awakens she thinks this:
He had come for her. He had come for herβ¦.
He even sings to her when sheβs hurt. I completely forgot he could sing lol
On the rare occasions he sang, the sounds that came out of his mouth were stunners, capable of making time grind to a halt and then slide into infinity.
THERE IS EVEN A BIT ABOUT A NECKLACE. I canβt stop laughing lol. When Z thinks he wonβt see Bella again he finds her necklace in some rubble, a small tiny pendant on a fragile gold chain, and wears it as a reminder of her. (A part of me thinks Azriel may have gone back for the necklace and he actually has it now.)
βI wanted to give you back this.β He pulled her necklace out of his pocket. βI was going to leave it with you that first night, but then I thoughtβ¦Well, anyway, I wore it until I couldnβt get it around my throat anymore. Now I just carry it around.β
I love you, he mouthed. She smiled back at him and pressed something into his hand. Her necklace. βYou keep this on you always,β she whispered. βFor good luck.β
Sarah is about to give us ACOTARβs version of Lover Awakened, the best of the entire series. Elriel is going to serve us the Bella and Zsadist, light/dark trope we deserve. Because these parallels areβ¦interesting.
We talked about how Azriel wanted to save eris insted of freaking out like Cassian because of Valkyries being thrown into the blood rite but after last live with sarah... cass wasnβt even with azriel in the first place. He was watching nesta while Azriel was off saving eris π
Cassian was not off with azriel like with the whole Eris thing
And this is how the actual book turned out:
Cassian couldnβt breathe. Hadnβt been able to breathe or speak for long minutes now. His family had arrived, and they all surrounded him in the wrecked bedroom of Emerieβs house. They were speaking, Azriel with some urgency, but Cassian didnβt hear him, heard nothing but the roaring in his head before he said to no one in particular, βIβm going after them.β
βCassianβs stomach turned over. Nesta and her friendsβhis friendsβwere in the Rite. And he could do nothing to interfere, not without damning them all. His hands shook. βSo, whatβwe just sit on our asses for a week and wait?β The idea was abhorrent. Feyre gripped his trembling fingers, squeezing tight. βDid youβ Cassian, werenβt you listening at all when we got here?β No. Heβd barely heard anything. Azriel said tightly, βMy spies got word that Eris has been captured by Briallyn. She sent his remaining soldiers after him while he was out hunting with his hounds. They grabbed him and somehow, they were all winnowed back to her palace. Iβm guessing using Koscheiβs power.β βI donβt care.β Cassian aimed for the doorway. Even if β¦ Fuck. Hadnβt he been the one to tell Rhys not to go after those soldiers? To leave them be? He was a fool. Heβd left an armed enemy in his blind spot and forgotten about it. But Eris could rot for all he cared.Az said, βWe have to get him out.β
You can clearly see the difference between Cassianβs reaction to Azrielβs... like he went to save the male he hated instead of freaking out like Cassian. And they expect me to believe their ginger fave and azriel are mates? PLEASE! When we have this scene with Azriel and Elain:
βFrom the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, βIβm getting her back.β Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azrielβs hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, βThen you will die.β Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, βIβm getting her back.β
When this elriel scene was reminded to us three times in acosf:
Elain had been stolen by the Cauldron and saved by Azriel and Feyre.
Azriel stiffened. βI know. I helped rescue Elain, after all.β Az hadnβt so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybernβs war-camp.
βEyes can be blinded,β Nesta said. βNot the ones under my command,β Azriel said with soft menace. Nesta met his stare, knowing he was the only one aside from Feyre who could truly understand her hesitation. Heβd gone with Feyre into the heart of Hybernβs camp to save Elainβhe knew the risk.
The guy didnβt hesitate to go to heart of the Hybernβs war-camp even though he could die to save Elain but he was talking about Eris while Vallyries were thrown into the blood rite π
Itβs funny that ppl want Elain talking to Lucien about gardening plans or Gwyn complimenting Azrielβs scars when those are literal canon Elriel scenes. π₯΄π yβall want Elriel without Elriel but those interactions belong to them only. π«Άπ½